Stronger Than Before

In this deeply personal episode, I share the fresh grief of saying goodbye to my horse friend, Veyron, as he begins a new chapter with a new owner. This is a conversation about love, loss, trauma, attachment patterns, and the courage it can take to let go of something—or someone—you deeply love when it is no longer the right path for either of you. 

I reflect on the relationship with Veyron, the accidents that changed me on a bone-level, and the healing that can come from honoring reality with an open heart.

I also share the gentle practices helping me move through and being with grief: allowing emotions to be felt, creating a soft place to land, journaling, reaching out for support, and taking things one moment at a time.

If you are navigating loss, the end of a relationship, a major life transition, or a season of deep healing, I hope this episode helps you feel a little less alone.

In this episode:

• Saying goodbye to a beloved horse and soul companion
• Why doing the right thing can still break your heart
• Love, trust, fear, and trauma in relationships
• Recognizing familiar patterns of struggle and overwhelm
• What it means when love is not enough to sustain a healthy connection
• Grieving with compassion instead of forcing yourself to “move on”
• How journaling, rest, support, and conscious distraction can help during intense emotions
• Trusting that healing is possible, even after heartbreak

Thank you for listening to the show and for witnessing my process! 

My hope is that my words encourage and inspire you on your way of becoming stronger than before – always, at any time, and on every step in the process.

I would love to hear from you and get to know you better. 

Please reach out via ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠!

It would mean the world to me if you share the episode with a friend, leave a comment, and subscribe to the show!

Let’s connect:

Website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.verenaborell.com/en⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 

Email: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 

Newsletter: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.verenaborell.com/en/newsletter⁠⁠⁠ 

Timestamps

• 00:02 — A raw, real-time reflection on grief and the end of a relationship
• 01:47 — Preparing to say goodbye to Veyron
• 05:29 — Why this loss feels so profound
• 07:32 — The story of Veyron and me, the accidents, and our deep bond
• 09:12 — When love is not enough
• 13:05 — Veyron as a teacher, friend, and anchor
• 15:50 — Accepting what Veyron needs—and what I cannot give
• 17:30 — Love and fear existing in the same relationship
• 20:26 — Trust after trauma
• 22:03 — Relationship patterns, struggle, and what feels familiar
• 27:16 — Reflecting on cycles, attachment, and conscious relationships
• 30:03 — Allowing grief instead of rushing past it
• 31:15 — How I process big emotions and heartbreak
• 33:35 — When grief feels too overwhelming: support and conscious distraction
• 34:53 — Journaling, titration, and giving yourself space to feel
• 36:10 — The healing power of connection and being held by others
• 37:21 — Making room for grief in a world that expects us to keep functioning
• 38:23 — Fractures heal: growing stronger through pain and love
• 40:17 — Closing thoughts

Do you trust your body? Does your body trust you? – This episode is (again) a real-time processing on (not) trusting my body, myself, and life and how my autoimmune disease and two accidents changed and challenged my sense of safety and (self-)confidence.

I explore why I linked my sense of safety and self-confidence to my physical vitality and strength in the past and how I now find new layers and levels of trust and gratitude. I also reflect on trusting the body as a two-sided relationship and why our body can also distrust us.

This episode is for you if the relationship to your body feels challenging and/or you want to gain new perspectives on strengthening your self-confidence and your trust in life.

In this episode:

• Why major setbacks can break parts of us without breaking all of us
• Seeing autoimmune illness as the body attempting to restore balance instead of the body attacking itself 
• Why healing trust in the body also involves treating it with care 
• How to rebuild a two-way relationship of trust with the body
• Learning to balance bravery with self-protection
• The possibility of becoming stronger and more grateful, even when parts of you are still broken

+ Reflection prompts

• Do you trust your body?
• Can your body trust you?
• Which parts of you trust life, and which parts remain afraid?
• Where do you feel trust or mistrust in your body?
• How does your level of self-trust affect your ability to stand up and speak up for yourself?

Thank you for listening to the show and for witnessing my process! 

My hope is that my words encourage and inspire you on your way of becoming stronger than before – always, at any time, and on every step in the process.

I would love to hear from you and get to know you better. 

Please reach out via ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠!

It would mean the world to me if you share the episode with a friend, leave a comment, and subscribe to the show!

Let’s connect:

Website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.verenaborell.com/en⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 

Email: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 

Newsletter: ⁠⁠https://www.verenaborell.com/en/newsletter⁠⁠ 

Timestamps

00:00 - Why I follow a creative impulse despite a busy schedule

02:21 - Losing trust in yourself, your body, and life

03:19 - How business setbacks affected my confidence

05:19 - Exercise as a source of strength and daily achievement

06:37 - The rapid onset of rheumatoid arthritis

07:38 - Trauma, hypervigilance, and the loss of instinctive trust

10:08 - When exercise becomes both security and a coping mechanism

12:40 - Recognizing a phase of reduced confidence

13:12 - Learning to balance bravery with self-protection

14:47 - Discovering deeper love and gratitude for the body

16:26 - What physical healing reveals about the body’s resilience

17:17 - Reframing rheumatoid arthritis as an attempt to restore balance

19:59 - Long-standing nervous-system patterns beneath recent trauma

20:51 - Rebuilding a two-way relationship of trust with the body

24:20 - Questions for exploring trust in your own life

26:48 - Gratitude, and encouragement for becoming stronger than before

What if balance is a movement and not a state…? Today, I reflect on balance as a dynamic, ever-changing process rather than a permanent state. I share as vulnerable and honest as always how my rheumatoid arthritis, two horseback riding accidents, recovery, overexercise, underfueling, trauma, and financial stress brought me into imbalances and also help me to find a new balance in my body and life. I also explore how the body and nervous system signal when life has moved too far into one extreme.

In this episode:

• Why balance became my guiding theme for 2026, influenced by my physical recovery, numerology, and astrology
• How rheumatoid arthritis and two broken legs revealed imbalances beneath an outward appearance of fitness and strength
• Why balance is not stagnant, but something the body continually recalibrates as circumstances change
• The difference between consciously choosing an intense season and remaining in an extreme for too long
• How chronic pain, exhaustion, functional depression, racing thoughts, and illness can signal that the body can no longer compensate
• Questions for assessing balance in your everyday life
• How social and financial pressures can make personal balance difficult, even when you know what your body needs

Thank you for listening to the show and for witnessing my process! 

My hope is that my words encourage and inspire you on your way of becoming stronger than before – always, at any time, and on every step in the process.

I would love to hear from you and get to know you better. 

Please reach out via ⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠!

It would mean the world to me if you share the episode with a friend, leave a comment, and subscribe to the show!

Let’s connect:

Website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.verenaborell.com/en⁠⁠⁠⁠ 

Email: ⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠ 

Newsletter: ⁠https://www.verenaborell.com/en/newsletter⁠ 

Timestamps

00:00 - Why balance is the theme of this episode

01:22 - Choosing balance as a guiding word for 2026

01:51 - Rheumatoid arthritis and the first signs of hidden imbalance

03:34 - How a broken leg changes the body’s alignment

05:07 - A second horseback riding accident and extreme physical imbalance

07:11 - How protective postures affected my body

08:07 - Leg-length differences, surgery, and the possibility of recovery

11:40 - Balance as a fragile and constantly changing process

14:17 - Why the search for balance can lead to extremes

16:09 - Overexercise, underfueling, and accumulated stress

17:24 - Years of poor sleep, caffeine, alcohol, and overwork

19:19 - When the body can no longer compensate

20:39 - Asking what balance means for the person you are now

21:34 - Assessing physical, emotional, and lifestyle imbalances

23:56 - Why nervous-system-friendly change needs to be gradual

25:29 - Energy balance beyond the idea of work-life balance

27:33 - Identifying extremes before they become painful

28:00 - Small daily steps toward equilibrium

My rheumatoid arthritis wants to be seen! So let’s give her some space, shall we...? In this episode, I share an honest account of living with rheumatoid arthritis alongside two horseback riding accidents and the pressure to keep functioning.

I explore what it means to listen to symptoms without becoming defined by them, combining medical care with nervous system regulation, strength training, and a more compassionate relationship with my body. I also share why it is so important to stay connected with your Self and your personal power even though and especially if you feel powerless.

In this episode:

• Why my rheumatoid arthritis wants to be seen and not injected away
• Why medication helped for a time but no longer seems to control the inflammation
• Medication as necessary support rather than the complete answer
• The balance between taking symptoms seriously and refusing to identify entirely as the disease
• My favorite holistic practices for supporting recovery 
• “Syndromes” as complex patterns involving stress, trauma, hormones, the immune system, the brain, and nervous system 
• Why you cannot and must not do it ALL when it comes to healing

Thank you for listening to the show and for witnessing my process! 

My hope is that my words encourage and inspire you on your way of becoming stronger than before – always, at any time, and on every step in the process.

I would love to hear from you and get to know you better. 

Please reach out via ⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠!

It would mean the world to me if you share the episode with a friend, leave a comment, and subscribe to the show!

Let’s connect:

Website: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.verenaborell.com/en⁠⁠⁠ 

Email: ⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠ 

Newsletter: https://www.verenaborell.com/en/newsletter 

Timestamps

00:00 - Why I am giving rheumatoid arthritis a voice

01:54 - The beginning of the mysterious left-knee pain

03:22 - Receiving a diagnosis after months of uncertainty

04:14 - Medication, stress, trauma, and the first major flare

05:13 - How rheumatoid arthritis pain feels in everyday life

07:52 - Learning that the disease wants to be seen and witnessed

08:48 - When a previously effective medication stops helping

10:52 - Why medication is support, not the whole healing process

11:52 - The lifelong pattern of functioning no matter what

14:47 - “You cannot work me away or inject me away”

15:47 - Autoimmunity as a metaphor for fighting against oneself

16:41 - Listening to symptoms without giving them total power

19:34 - Combining medical care with somatic and nervous system support

23:15 - Preserving pleasure, movement, and agency despite limitations

24:23 - Strength training and rebuilding a sense of power

25:25 - “I’m not my rheumatoid arthritis”

26:07 - Understanding syndromes as complex symptom patterns

27:41 - Why autoimmune symptoms cannot be reduced to one cause

29:58 - What happens when stress and overwhelm never fully settle

33:02 - Listening to the message while asking the symptom to ease

36:50 - Choosing pause, support, and a fuller way of living

When is it time to push beyond your limitations, and when is it wiser to slow down and respect your boundaries? In this episode, I explore how our default nervous-system patterns, life circumstances, and physical signals can help us decide whether growth requires more resilience or more softness.

Because it’s often not that easy to know if it’s time to grit your teeth, leave the comfort zone and go against the grain or if it’s part of your healing and strengthening process to flow with life, choose the easeful way, and relax.

My hope is that this episode helps you better recognizing what your body, nervous system, and current phase of life are asking for.

In this episode

• The difference between pushing through challenges and learning to feel safe while slowing down
• How fight-flight patterns can drive resilience, ambition, self-confidence, burnout, inflammation, and self-neglect
• How freeze-fawn patterns can support adaptability and conservation while also leading to procrastination, people-pleasing, and settling
• How “too much, too fast, too soon” can overwhelm the nervous system and contribute to trauma
• My recovery after two horseback-riding accidents and the lesson that courage can become recklessness
• Using titration and baby steps to build strength without overloading the body
• Why pain and physical limits deserve attention rather than shame or automatic resistance
• How to choose coaches, trainers, and mentors who support what your system needs now

Thank you for listening to the show and for witnessing my process! 

My hope is that my words encourage and inspire you on your way of becoming stronger than before – always, at any time, and on every step in the process.

I would love to hear from you and get to know you better. 

Please reach out via ⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠!

It would mean the world to me if you share the episode with a friend, leave a comment, and subscribe to the show!

Let’s connect:

Website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.verenaborell.com/en⁠⁠⁠⁠ 

Email: ⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠ 

Timestamps:

00:00 - Going with the flow versus going against the grain

02:24 - Why both pushing and slowing down matter

03:18 - Finding balance during physical recovery

05:16 - How your default mode shapes growth and resilience

06:42 - Nature, nurture, conditioning, and inherited patterns

08:41 - The strengths and risks of fight-flight

12:12 - The strengths and risks of freeze-fawn

15:29 - How your needs change through different life phases

18:50 - When courage becomes recklessness

21:38 - “Too much, too fast, too soon” and trauma

23:38 - Understanding pain and respecting limits

24:59 - Procrastination, overwhelm, and nervous-system protection

27:20 - Learning to receive support by slowing down

29:37 - Titration: taking small steps toward change

31:27 - Trial and error during recovery 

32:19 - Identifying and balancing your default mode

34:01 - Listening to mentors without abandoning inner knowing

35:45 - Making rest and pleasure part of recovery

37:14 - Working with the body instead of against it

38:04 - Elder Duck: following the flow

39:21 - Elder Salmon: cultivating resilience

39:45 - Why getting stronger requires both stress and resilience

What if your life looks nice on the outside but your inner world and body feels like a war zone?

In this episode, I take you on a ride – into my brain, soul, body, and my current life reflections. I discover the link between clarity and strength, and how my own body has been teaching me that insight can feel physical. I share honestly about chronic overwhelm, childhood depression, trauma, autoimmune illness, and my current process of understanding how these pieces connect.

The episode gives you hopefully new hope for finding your personal (baby) steps to go from A to B, what (not) to do in the messy middle, and how you can hold your past and future self with more compassion, love, and (new) strength.

In this episode

• How to sense and notice clarity in the body
• Reflections on my chaotic health journey and how it brought deeper misbalances in my body-soul-nervous-system to the surface
• Connecting the dots between singular diagnoses and challenges like ADHD/neurodivergence, high sensitivity, functional depression, trauma, hormonal imbalance, and autoimmune disease
• Childhood sadness, shame, and how I tried to get „control“ over my emotions, mind, and body through anorexia 
• Growing compassion for my younger self – including the high-achieving child and the partying and drinking version of myself in my twenties
• Getting clarity on what is not working and allowing myself to have new visions for my future 
• The systemic dimensions of (my) personal struggle: systems that are not made for bodies and minds that do not function like machines
• Why growth is ongoing, healing happens in tiny steps and rest ist also as movement

Thank you for listening to the show and for witnessing my process! 

My hope is that my words encourage and inspire you on your way of becoming stronger than before – always, at any time, and on every step in the process.

I would love to hear from you and get to know you better. 

Please reach out via ⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠!

It would mean the world to me if you share the episode with a friend, leave a comment, and subscribe to the show!

Let’s connect:

Website: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.verenaborell.com/en⁠⁠⁠ 

Email: ⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠ 

Timestamps

00:00 - Why clarity feels like strength in the body

03:08 - A chaotic year of illness, accidents, and health revelations

05:07 - Exploring depression, trauma, ADHD tendencies, and hormones

07:31 - A lifetime of reflection and trying to understand myself

11:41 - Why my life looked fine from the outside but felt like a war zone inside

14:47 - Childhood sadness, shame, and the start of my eating disorder

16:16 - Building control through organization and coping strategies

18:14 - The autoimmune connection and the cost of overworking herself

20:43 - Compassion for my younger self and my current self

22:32 - Joy, dopamine, and the need for daily mental health hygiene

25:22 - Why office work and long computer hours go against my nature

26:54 - What is missing now: community, belonging, and embodied connection

28:32 - The tension between wanting joy and being told to toughen up

30:35 - Hope for a life that feels more natural and supported

33:17 - Somatic experiencing, baby steps, and the value of rest

35:56 - Why the problem is also systemic, not just personal

37:23 - Final encouragement: compassion for your younger self and trust in your strength

When we work (out) with the body and not against it healing and recovery can happen! In this episode, I share how I still move(d) my body and exercised – even now, in the weakest phase of my life, while healing from horseback riding accidents, surgery, and rheumatoid arthritis. The episode focuses on how tiny, safe workouts can support physical recovery, nervous system regulation, mental health, and emotional balance when your body feels weak, injured, or overwhelmed.

My hope is to give you some practical tips on working with your body instead of against it, too. Important to say: I also speak openly about the difference between healthy movement and exercise addiction, and why rest, pacing, and professional support matter.

In this episode

• Moving my body and exercising safely during recovery without pushing through illness
• Practical reflection: my first home exercises after my surgery, tiny baby steps towards more strength, and finding my power within disempowerment 
• How movement and (weight) training can help the nervous system reorient away from pain and trauma toward strength, capability, resilience, and agency
• My past patterns of exercise addiction and disordered eating, and how to discern between moving from genuine desire rather than compulsion
• How somatic experiencing and the practice of pendulation between weak/injured parts and still-strong parts of the body can support recovery and healing
• My gradual progress: first wheelchair use, then crutches, and now gentle cycling, yoga stretches, weight training, and more expanded workouts
• The value of physical therapy, trial and error, and listening to the body’s feedback
• Patience and the balance between pushing yourself and accepting your limits

Thank you for listening to the show and for witnessing my process! 

My hope is that my words encourage and inspire you on your way of becoming stronger than before – always, at any time, and on every step in the process.

I would love to hear from you and get to know you better. 

Please reach out via ⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠!

It would mean the world to me if you share the episode with a friend, leave a comment, and subscribe to the show!

Let’s connect:

Website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.verenaborell.com/en⁠⁠⁠⁠ 

Email: ⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠ 

Timestamps

(00:00) Opening reflection on moving during weakness and recovery

(00:30) Why rest days matter and why I am not promoting daily workouts

(01:26) Moving every day versus exercising through illness or fever

(02:22) Hospital recovery after accidents, surgery, and rheumatoid arthritis

(04:18) Returning home in a wheelchair and needing my mother’s care

(05:46) First tiny home workouts in bed with dumbbells and core work

(07:41) Somatic experiencing and the “unescapable attack” trauma response

(08:40) Why micro-movements helped my feel more empowered

(09:09) Exercise addiction versus genuine body-led movement

(11:40) Reorienting toward resilient parts of the body

(13:54) Recovery progress: no crutches, more exercises, and gentle cycling

(16:42) The role of physical therapy 

(18:02) Trial and error: learning what helps and what hurts too much

(19:01) Why I now work with my body instead of pushing against it

(20:58) Staying in communication with the body 

(22:50) Knowing your tendency: underpushing versus overpushing

(24:20) Holding both strength and pain without repressing either

(25:16) Pendulation between weak parts and resilient parts of the self

(26:05) Current workout progress and what I am training now

Your body still knows how to heal and become stronger, even after trauma. – In this episode, I share a vulnerable update on my health journey and the emotional and somatic work of rebuilding trust with my body after major injuries, surgery, and chronic pain.

I explore why healing is not just physical but also somatic, emotional, and relational, and why I am learning to trust my body’s pace instead of controlling every step. I reflect on resilience, nervous system safety, and what it means to embody the belief that the body wants to heal.

If you sometimes struggle to really and deeply trust your body and your natural ability to heal, this episode is for you. 

In this episode:

• How my body trust has been challenged by a series of health events, surgeries, and accidents
• Why repeated injuries to the same party of my body created fear, hypervigilance, and a sense of unpredictability in my nervous system
• The emotional layers underneath physical recovery, including grief, shame, self-blame, and frustration about past choices and health patterns
• The belief that the body is built for healing, balance, vitality, and regeneration, and has a natural repair intelligence
• Somatic practices that can help holding mistrust and trust, fear and hope
• Why healing cannot be forced how to support the body without micromanaging it

Thank you for listening to the show and for witnessing my process! 

My hope is that my words encourage and inspire you on your way of becoming stronger than before – always, at any time, and on every step in the process.

I would love to hear from you and get to know you better. 

Please reach out via ⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠!

It would mean the world to me if you share the episode with a friend, leave a comment, and subscribe to the show!

Let’s connect:

Website: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.verenaborell.com/en⁠⁠⁠ 

Email: ⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠ 

Timestamps

00:00 - Opening reflection on body trust 

02:12 - My story with rheumatoid arthritis 

04:36 - The horseback riding accident that changed everything

05:29 - Slow recovery, then a brief period of hope

06:55 - A second horseback riding accident and renewed trauma

10:26 - How these events exposed deeper layers of bodily fear

11:37 - Working with somatic experiencing and noticing the split between fear and trust

12:29 - Shame, self-blame, and the history behind body distrust

14:29 - Why I belief the body wants to heal and return to balance

16:06 - Wounds, skin repair, and the “magic” of regeneration

18:43 - The lesson of not running away from discomfort

19:19 - Fear that healing may never be finished

25:22 - Choosing to trust the body’s natural pace and ability to heal

Allowing yourself to change is the only way to stay true to yourself. –  In this episode, I reflect on self-identification, identity shifts, and what happens when the version of yourself you have built your life around is disrupted by burnout, illness, and major life changes.

As always, I connect my personal experience with a broader point: identity can be empowering and helps you grow, but when it becomes too rigid, it can also become a source of fear, pressure, and loss. I share how athletic identity, business identity, and being the productive one can become tied to self-worth, meaning of life, and nervous system safety.

This episode is a personal reflection on learning to hold identity more lightly, while still honoring the parts of yourself that matter.

In this episode:

• My strong identification as a sporty, strong, Type A person and why that felt useful and authentic for long periods of my life
• How my first burnout in 2018/19 and a major health crisis reshaped my understanding of self-worth
• Why self-identification can help you to reach your goals and implement healthy habits
• Why attaching your self-worth too tightly to your identity can become dangerous when life changes or that role disappears
• The connection between identity attachment and nervous system safety + why mindset work alone has its limits
• The idea that identity should be flexible, so it can evolve when family roles, health, work, or life stage changes

At the end I guide you into a somatic reflection to notice what you identify with and whether those identities are supporting you or limiting you.

Thank you for listening to the show and for witnessing my process! 

My hope is that my words encourage and inspire you on your way of becoming stronger than before – always, at any time, and on every step in the process.

I would love to hear from you and get to know you better. 

Please reach out via ⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠!

It would mean the world to me if you share the episode with a friend, leave a comment, and subscribe to the show!

Let’s connect:

Website: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.verenaborell.com/en⁠⁠⁠ 

Email: ⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠ 

Timestamps

00:00 - Returning after a two week recording gap and publishing the episode 

02:07 - Why this episode is about self-identification and why it can empower or disempower you 

03:19 - Early identity as the sporty, Type A version of myself 

03:55 - Burnout in 2019 and the first crack in the "machine, not a body" mindset 

05:04 - Health crisis and rheumatoid arthritis diagnosis 

06:54 - Identity can feel magical when it helps you become who you want to be 

07:15 - The difference between casually exercising and claiming "I am an athlete" 

10:32 - How business owner identity created strength and self-understanding 

11:45 - The danger of making your business the center of your entire self-worth 

13:20 - Why losing physical capacity can create a true identity crisis 

14:59 - When security, nervous system safety, and self-worth get attached to one role 

17:08 - Learning to feel safe even without the old version of myself 

18:19 - How identity attachment can become toxic when it limits growth 

19:55 - Why mindset work is not enough without nervous system work 

22:28 - Productivity, self-worth, and creativity as a collective theme 

26:25 - Learning to stay aware of what you identify with 

28:42 - Letting old identities fall away so new ones can emerge 

30:32 - Trusting that a new version of you will come together when life burns down an old one 

32:30 - Looking ahead to becoming active again and coming back stronger than before

How (dis)embodied can you become and how does this influence your health, your wellbeing, your relationships, and your joy of life? 

In this episode, I reflect on my so far 39 years long journey of (dis)embodiment which feels as personal and intimate as collective and relatable. I talk about what it means to live in a body, especially when that body has carried illness, burnout, eating disorder recovery, and chronic pain.

I trace my relationship with performance, control, sensitivity, and healing, and explain why this podcast exists as part reflection, part therapeutic process, and part invitation to others who feel similarly. 

I share my story moving from childhood and school pressure to anorexia, overwork, alcohol use, burnout, and finally toward somatic healing and a slower, more embodied life. The central thread is simple but powerful: healing is not just mindset work, but learning to listen to the body.

In this episode:

• How childhood pressure, performance, and perfectionism shaped a disconnection from rest, needs, and self-trust.
• The lasting impact of anorexia, chronic pain, burnout, and pushing through physical warning signs.
• Why exercise, achievement, and even spiritual practice can become another way to disconnect from the body.
• Moving from survival mode toward a more somatic, nervous-system-aware approach to healing.
• The role of sensitivity, neurodivergence, and overwhelm in my relationship with work, alcohol, and rest.
• Returning to nature, softness, nourishment, boundaries, and a slower pace of life.
• How somatic healing has supported my deeper relationship with the body, emotions, and personal needs.
• Rheumatoid arthritis and injuries as an invitation to listen more closely and care more fully for myself.
• A hopeful commitment to becoming stronger—not through performance, but through compassion, presence, and respect for the body.

Thank you for listening to the show and for witnessing my process! 

My hope is that my words encourage and inspire you on your way of becoming stronger than before – always, at any time, and on every step in the process.

I would love to hear from you and get to know you better. 

Please reach out via ⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠!

It would mean the world to me if you share the episode with a friend, leave a comment, and subscribe to the show!

Let’s connect:

Website: ⁠⁠https://www.verenaborell.com/en⁠⁠ 

Email: ⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠ 

Timestamps

(00:00) Why this podcast exists as an audio journal

(03:13) Early health struggles and the rheumatoid arthritis diagnosis

(04:36) Society’s habit of treating bodies like machines

(06:24) Childhood temperament, astrology, and being naturally embodied

(08:55) Her father’s trauma and its impact on the family system

(11:19) Feeling seen only for performance and school success

(14:42) Creativity, care, and the love her mother gave her

(15:10) Anorexia at 14 and the drive to live from the mind

(16:35) Control, intellect, and the body as something to manage

(19:25) The mysterious foot and knee pain that changed everything

(23:16) College, Starbucks, partying, and using the body as a tool and a machine

(26:06) Internships, journalism, and high-output work culture

(28:03) Alcohol, relaxation, and being unable to truly switch off

(29:30) Neurodivergence, ADHD, sensitivity, and overwhelm

(32:16) The social conditioning that rewards overwork, especially for women

(37:18) Burnout, losing meaning, and finally stopping

(38:15) Returning to yoga, philosophy, and spirituality

(41:13) Astrology as a tool for understanding and seeing my patterns, then and now

(45:28) Moving to Austria and realizing stress followed me

(47:29) Therapy helps, but the nervous system still needs attention

(48:41) The turning point: listen to your body, listen to Earth

(49:15) Somatic healing, rest, and rebuilding from the body up

(52:15) Learning to care for myself more fully, especially with illness

(54:06) My hope to get stronger, healthier, and more embodied than before