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Struggling with Boundaries? The Nuanced Maybe Based on Your Capacity
Most advice about boundaries says: “If it’s not a hell yes, it’s a hell no.”
But most of real life doesn't look or feel like that.
In this episode, we talk about why boundaries aren’t actually black and white—and why so many women (especially moms) feel like they’re failing when they try to force clear yes-or-no decisions in complex relationships and decision making.
The truth is… most of your life lives in the messy middle.
You’re navigating your kids, your partner, your parents, your work, your capacity—and suddenly it’s not a clean “no.” It’s a “maybe,” a “not right now,” a “I want to want to,” or a “this used to be a yes, but it’s not anymore.”
We take a somatic approach to boundaries, because boundaries aren’t just something you say—they’re something you feel, notice, and respond to in real time.
Inside this episode, we cover:
- why most boundary struggles aren’t a simple yes or no
- how your nervous system shapes your ability to feel and set boundaries
- what “micro yeses” and “micro no’s” look like in everyday life
- why you might not feel your “no” until later (and how to trust that)
- boundaries as behavior—not just words
- how co-regulation impacts your capacity and decisions
- using consent as a model for understanding the full range between yes and no
- soft no, sad no, and hard no—and when each matters
- how to set a boundary even when you feel guilt, discomfort, or doubt
- why overexplaining doesn’t actually prevent discomfort
- learning to trust yourself to change your mind
This episode is for the woman who is thoughtful, self-aware, and carrying a lot—
and is ready for boundaries that actually reflect her real capacity, not just what sounds good in theory.
If you’ve ever thought,
“Why is this so hard for me?”
or
“Why can’t I just say no?”
This conversation will give you language, permission, and a more honest way forward.
Want to go deeper?
Catch the replay of The Motherload Workshop replay here: https://themotherhoodmentor.myflodesk.com/q4pm4wekhb
or book a drop in coaching call here: https://calendly.com/themotherhoodmentor/drop-in-1-1-support-call-clone-1
Send us Fan Mail
If you’re ready to stop living on autopilot and start leading your life with deep presence, I’d love to work with you. Book a free interest call here: Click Here
💌 Want more? Follow me on Instagram @themotherhoodmentor for somatic tools, nervous system support, and real-talk on high-functioning burnout, ambition, healing perfectionism, and motherhood. And also pretty epic meme drops.
🎧 Did you love this episode? Be sure to follow and please take a quick moment to leave a review and send this episode to a friend. I'd love to hear from you on how this podcast impacted you, send me a DM or an email.
View all episodes
By Rebecca Dollard: Somatic Mind-Body Life Coach, Enneagram Coach, Speaker, Boundaries Coach, Mindset
5
66 ratings
Most advice about boundaries says: “If it’s not a hell yes, it’s a hell no.”
But most of real life doesn't look or feel like that.
In this episode, we talk about why boundaries aren’t actually black and white—and why so many women (especially moms) feel like they’re failing when they try to force clear yes-or-no decisions in complex relationships and decision making.
The truth is… most of your life lives in the messy middle.
You’re navigating your kids, your partner, your parents, your work, your capacity—and suddenly it’s not a clean “no.” It’s a “maybe,” a “not right now,” a “I want to want to,” or a “this used to be a yes, but it’s not anymore.”
We take a somatic approach to boundaries, because boundaries aren’t just something you say—they’re something you feel, notice, and respond to in real time.
Inside this episode, we cover:
- why most boundary struggles aren’t a simple yes or no
- how your nervous system shapes your ability to feel and set boundaries
- what “micro yeses” and “micro no’s” look like in everyday life
- why you might not feel your “no” until later (and how to trust that)
- boundaries as behavior—not just words
- how co-regulation impacts your capacity and decisions
- using consent as a model for understanding the full range between yes and no
- soft no, sad no, and hard no—and when each matters
- how to set a boundary even when you feel guilt, discomfort, or doubt
- why overexplaining doesn’t actually prevent discomfort
- learning to trust yourself to change your mind
This episode is for the woman who is thoughtful, self-aware, and carrying a lot—
and is ready for boundaries that actually reflect her real capacity, not just what sounds good in theory.
If you’ve ever thought,
“Why is this so hard for me?”
or
“Why can’t I just say no?”
This conversation will give you language, permission, and a more honest way forward.
Want to go deeper?
Catch the replay of The Motherload Workshop replay here: https://themotherhoodmentor.myflodesk.com/q4pm4wekhb
or book a drop in coaching call here: https://calendly.com/themotherhoodmentor/drop-in-1-1-support-call-clone-1
Send us Fan Mail
If you’re ready to stop living on autopilot and start leading your life with deep presence, I’d love to work with you. Book a free interest call here: Click Here
💌 Want more? Follow me on Instagram @themotherhoodmentor for somatic tools, nervous system support, and real-talk on high-functioning burnout, ambition, healing perfectionism, and motherhood. And also pretty epic meme drops.
🎧 Did you love this episode? Be sure to follow and please take a quick moment to leave a review and send this episode to a friend. I'd love to hear from you on how this podcast impacted you, send me a DM or an email.