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Stuck in the Sexual Standoff: Couples’ Negative Intimacy Cycle
In this episode, Ali and Ros unpack the connections between the sexual cycle and the relational cycle, offering insights into how emotional and physical intimacy mirror one another. They explore the distinction between responsive and spontaneous desire, how attachment patterns influence sexual connection, and why communication is at the heart of a satisfying sexual relationship. The discussion also touches on cultural expectations around sex, the challenges of mismatched desire, and how understanding each partner’s experience can help couples build renewed closeness and vitality in their relationship.
📍 Resources mentioned:
Relational Lives previous episode on Negative relationship cycle: https://youtu.be/qfDFwVSH5sU?si=O5ZzfQsFm-nTNrCe
Spontaneous or Responsive Desire TED talk by Emily Nagoski: https://youtu.be/lon25Nc1Vx8?si=-jhXJi81K1XGloVW
Chapters
00:00 Introduction to the Sexual Cycle
02:53 Understanding the Dynamics of the Sexual Cycle
05:39 Responsive vs. Spontaneous Desire
08:33 The Role of Emotional Connection in Sexual Intimacy
11:16 Exploring the Cycle of Desire and Rejection
13:55 The Impact of Attachment Styles on Sexual Relationships
16:35 Influences on Sexual Dynamics
19:30 Addressing Sexual Trauma and Its Effects
22:15 Navigating Health and Aging in Sexual Relationships
25:14 The Importance of Communication in Sexual Cycles
27:58 Conclusion and Future Discussions
We Want to Hear From You
What did you love most?
What should we do more of (or less)?
Topics you want: Intimacy? Parenting? Any mental health topics?
Style: More casual chats? Shorter episodes? Dear Therapists?
Drop us a message: [email protected]
Or fill in anonymously: https://forms.office.com/e/qcrCkbhPiT
Connect with us
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/relational_lives
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/relationallives/
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@relational_lives
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/tempo-psychotherapy-services-33a00318/
All past episodes are still available — go back and revisit your favourites! Subscribe so you don’t miss Season 3. If this episode resonated, please like, share, and tell a friend.
Disclaimer
Please remember, this is not meant to be a replacement for personal therapy and is for information and self-reflection only.
Please reach out to an appropriate professional in your area if you feel you need individualised help.
Credits
Hosts: Alison Bickers and Ros Peckham at www.mytempo.co.uk
Music by: Stile Tree Studio
View all episodes
By relationallivesIn this episode, Ali and Ros unpack the connections between the sexual cycle and the relational cycle, offering insights into how emotional and physical intimacy mirror one another. They explore the distinction between responsive and spontaneous desire, how attachment patterns influence sexual connection, and why communication is at the heart of a satisfying sexual relationship. The discussion also touches on cultural expectations around sex, the challenges of mismatched desire, and how understanding each partner’s experience can help couples build renewed closeness and vitality in their relationship.
📍 Resources mentioned:
Relational Lives previous episode on Negative relationship cycle: https://youtu.be/qfDFwVSH5sU?si=O5ZzfQsFm-nTNrCe
Spontaneous or Responsive Desire TED talk by Emily Nagoski: https://youtu.be/lon25Nc1Vx8?si=-jhXJi81K1XGloVW
Chapters
00:00 Introduction to the Sexual Cycle
02:53 Understanding the Dynamics of the Sexual Cycle
05:39 Responsive vs. Spontaneous Desire
08:33 The Role of Emotional Connection in Sexual Intimacy
11:16 Exploring the Cycle of Desire and Rejection
13:55 The Impact of Attachment Styles on Sexual Relationships
16:35 Influences on Sexual Dynamics
19:30 Addressing Sexual Trauma and Its Effects
22:15 Navigating Health and Aging in Sexual Relationships
25:14 The Importance of Communication in Sexual Cycles
27:58 Conclusion and Future Discussions
We Want to Hear From You
What did you love most?
What should we do more of (or less)?
Topics you want: Intimacy? Parenting? Any mental health topics?
Style: More casual chats? Shorter episodes? Dear Therapists?
Drop us a message: [email protected]
Or fill in anonymously: https://forms.office.com/e/qcrCkbhPiT
Connect with us
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/relational_lives
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/relationallives/
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@relational_lives
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/tempo-psychotherapy-services-33a00318/
All past episodes are still available — go back and revisit your favourites! Subscribe so you don’t miss Season 3. If this episode resonated, please like, share, and tell a friend.
Disclaimer
Please remember, this is not meant to be a replacement for personal therapy and is for information and self-reflection only.
Please reach out to an appropriate professional in your area if you feel you need individualised help.
Credits
Hosts: Alison Bickers and Ros Peckham at www.mytempo.co.uk
Music by: Stile Tree Studio