We’re wrapping up Series 1 of Relational Lives and taking a short two-week break. Thank you for joining us on this journey so far - it’s been amazing! 🎉

In this episode of Relational Lives, Ali and Ros take an honest, practical look at Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD). They unpack what OCD really is and explore how intrusive thoughts, compulsions, and emotional distress interact. Ali explains different subtypes of OCD, how therapy can help, and offers hope to anyone struggling. Whether you’ve lived with OCD for years or are just beginning to question your thoughts and behaviours, this episode is packed with understanding, reassurance, and practical steps forward.

In this episode of Relational Lives, we take a deep dive into the reality of toxic relationships - how they differ from unhealthy ones, the warning signs to look out for, and why even strong, self-aware people can find themselves trapped in them. We explore behaviours like gaslighting, love bombing, manipulation, coercive control, and isolation, as well as the underlying psychological dynamics that keep people hooked.

0:00 – Introduction & what makes a relationship toxic

Credits:

Hosts: Alison Bickers and Ros Peckham at www.mytempo.co.uk

Music by: Stile Tree Studio

In this episode of Relational Lives, Ali and Ros explore the three most common conflict styles that show up in relationships: blame-blame, attack-withdraw, and withdraw-withdraw. With warmth, insight, and lived experience, they help listeners identify their own patterns, understand the emotional drivers underneath, and reflect on how these cycles affect connection. Whether you argue loudly or shut down silently, this episode will help you make sense of what's really happening between you and your partner.

Credits:

Hosts: Alison Bickers and Ros Peckham at www.mytempo.co.uk

Music by: Stile Tree Studio

In this episode of Relational Lives, Ali and Ros dive into the concept of negative cycles in relationships - the invisible patterns we fall into when things go wrong with our partners. Whether you’re a “pursuer,” “withdrawer,” or locked in blame–blame dynamics, this episode breaks down what’s really going on beneath the surface. Using relatable examples (including that infamous dishwasher debate!), they explain how these emotional loops are driven by vulnerability, attachment, and unspoken needs. With practical metaphors like the “infinity loop” and the “main floor vs. basement,” Ali and Ros offer insights that can transform how you relate and repair.

Credits:

Hosts: Alison Bickers and Ros Peckham at www.mytempo.co.uk

Music by: Stile Tree Studio

In this episode of Relational Lives, Ali and Ros explore a vital question: "Am I in an unhealthy relationship?" Whether it's a romantic relationship, friendship, or even a business partnership, this conversation helps you identify the subtle yet damaging signs of unhealthy dynamics. From emotional disconnection and conflict avoidance to people-pleasing and shutdown behaviours, Ali and Ros unpack what these patterns mean and how to begin addressing them.

Hosts: Alison Bickers and Ros Peckham at www.mytempo.co.uk

Music by: Stile Tree Studio

In the second Dear Therapists episode of Relational Lives, Ali and Ros respond to two powerful listener letters, offering comfort, validation, and gentle reflections for those navigating emotionally complex relationships.

Hosts: Alison Bickers and Ros Peckham at www.mytempo.co.uk

Music by: Stile Tree Studio

In this episode of Relational Lives, we sit down with former paramedic, Dave Zaple, to hear his honest and moving story of mental ill health, recovery and finding purpose. From witnessing daily trauma in the emergency services to confronting the stigma around men’s mental health, Dave opens up about his breakdown, therapy, identity loss, and eventual healing through connection, creativity, and community. This episode is an unmissable listen for anyone interested in male vulnerability or finding purpose after crisis.

Whether you’re struggling yourself, or supporting someone who is, Dave’s story shows there is life - and growth - after trauma.

Shownotes:

Episode: Breaking Point to Breakthrough: A Men's Mental Health Journey

In this episode:

00:00 – Intro

If this episode resonated with you or you know someone it might help, please share it. You can also reach out or comment - we love hearing from you. Talking helps, and you’re never alone in the dark.

📍 Resources mentioned:

Rock2Recovery - Charity supporting armed forces and blue light workers

REORG Charity – Supporting service personnel through physical fitness

Surfwell – Surf therapy for emergency service workers

Walking With The Wounded

Millimetres 2 Mountains - A mental health charity that supports individuals to redifne their limitations through the great outdoors

SoulKind Journal (CIC) – Human stories of resilience and adventure. Pre-order edition 4 now:

Connect with Dave Zaple:

Website: https://www.davezaple.com/

Connect with us:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/relational_lives

Want to share your story or come on the show to discuss your dilemma? Write to us and we might cover it in a future episode. Drop us a message at [email protected] or you can anonymously complete our form here: https://forms.office.com/e/qcrCkbhPiT. We’d also love to hear updates if you’ve written in before. 

Have a question or want to share your thoughts on trauma and PTSD? Reach out at [email protected]. Subscribe for future episodes on OCD, trauma, attachment and more mental health topics. If you found this episode helpful, please like this video or share it with a friend.  

Disclaimer:

Credits:  

Hosts: Alison Bickers and Ros Peckham at www.mytempo.co.uk

Music by: Stile Tree Audio

In this episode of Relational Lives, Ali and Ros delve into the complex experience of health anxiety - what it is, how it develops, and what practical steps can be taken to manage it. Ali shares insights from cognitive behavioural therapy, discussing effective tools such as identifying safety behaviours, understanding personal values, and building tolerance for uncertainty. Whether you’re seeking support for yourself or trying to understand a loved one, this episode offers hope, clarity, and actionable advice.

Shownotes:

Episode: Understanding and Managing Health Anxiety

In this episode:

00:00 – Intro and what’s coming up

Resources mentioned:

📕 Overcoming Health Anxiety by David Veale and Rob Willson (Part of Overcoming Series)

📍 NHS Talking Therapies (UK) – Free CBT referral via GP

Previous episodes on:

Understanding Anxiety - Why Your Brain's Alarm System Freaks Out:

Connect with us:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/relational_lives

Want to share your story or come on the show to discuss your dilemma? Write to us and we might cover it in a future episode. Drop us a message at [email protected] or you can anonymously complete our form here: https://forms.office.com/e/qcrCkbhPiT. We’d also love to hear updates if you’ve written in before. 

Have a question or want to share your thoughts on health anxiety? Reach out at [email protected]. Subscribe for future episodes on OCD, trauma, attachment and more mental health topics. If you found this episode helpful, please like this video or share it with a friend.  

Disclaimer:

Credits:  

In this episode of Relational Lives, Ali and Ros explore the complexities of the fearful avoidant attachment style and how it affects our relationships, communication, and self-perception. If you've ever felt stuck in a push-pull dynamic, terrified of being hurt but also craving intimacy, this episode will help you make sense of what's going on.

We break down what causes this attachment style, what it looks like in practice, and how people can begin to heal. Whether you relate personally or are trying to understand a partner, parent, or friend with this pattern, this conversation is packed with insight and empathy. We explore how fearful avoidant attachment develops, how it shows up in adult relationships, and why people with this pattern often feel confused, ashamed, or stuck in love.

Show notes:

Episode: What is a Fearful Avoidant Attachment Style?

In this episode:

00:00 – Welcome & why this topic matters

Resources mentioned:

📕 Attached by Amir Levine & Rachel Heller

📕 The Polyvagal Theory by Stephen Porges (for understanding nervous system regulation)

Previous episodes on:

Attachment Styles:

Building Healthy Relationships:

Connect with us:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/relational_lives

Want to share your story or come on the show to discuss your dilemma? Write to us and we might cover it in a future episode. Drop us a message at [email protected] or you can anonymously complete our form here: https://forms.office.com/e/qcrCkbhPiT. We’d also love to hear updates if you’ve written in before. 

Have a question or want to share your thoughts on attachment styles? Reach out at [email protected]. Subscribe for more episodes on mental health, relationships, and self-understanding. If you found this episode helpful, please like this video or share it with a friend.  

Disclaimer:

Credits:  

Hosts: Alison Bickers and Ros Peckham at www.mytempo.co.uk

Music by: Stile Tree Audio