Relational Lives Podcast

What happens when your partner’s brain is wired differently than yours? In this episode, hosts Ali and Ros explore the unique dynamics of neuro-mixed (or neuro-distinct) couples, where one partner is on the autism spectrum and the other is neurotypical.

We move past the stereotypes to look at the daily reality of loving across neurological lines, offering a roadmap for couples looking to bridge the gap between two different ways of experiencing the world.

00:00 Understanding Neurodiversity in Relationships

03:16 Navigating Change and Anxiety

05:13 Sensory Differences and Intimacy

07:54 Communication Challenges and Alexithymia

10:52 Processing Speed and Relationship Dynamics

13:57 Fairness, Justice, and Conflict

16:50 Social Engagement and Exhaustion

18:31 Takeaway Tips for Couples

📍 Resources mentioned:

Embrace Autism | The ultimate autism resource

✨ We want to hear from you:

What did you love most?  

✨ Drop us a message:

[email protected]

✨ Connect with us:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/relational_lives  

✨ All past episodes are still available — go back and revisit your favourites!   Subscribe for future episodes on trauma, attachment and more mental health topics. If you found this episode helpful, please like this video or share it with a friend!

✨ Disclaimer:

Please reach out to an appropriate professional in your area if you feel you need individualised help.  

✨ Credits:  

Hosts: Alison Bickers and Ros Peckham at www.mytempo.co.uk  

In this episode, relationship therapist Catherine Topham Sly shares insights on rekindling intimacy after having children, addressing the emotional and physical challenges couples face, and practical tips for reconnecting.

00:00 Introduction to Catherine Topham Sly

01:32 Catherine's Journey into Relationship Therapy

05:29 The Impact of Parenthood on Relationships

11:34 Navigating Sexuality and Intimacy Post-Childbirth

17:16 Communication Challenges in Relationships

19:00 Seeking Help: When to Reach Out for Support

20:00 Navigating Relationship Transitions

23:08 The Impact of Parenthood on Intimacy

27:13 Understanding Emotional Connections in Relationships

32:47 Opening the Conversation About Sex

35:14 Utilizing the Workbook for Relationship Growth

41:17 Awareness and Compatibility in Relationships

42:20 The Risks of Self-Discovery

43:30 Navigating Relationship Patterns

44:31 Key Takeaway Tips for Couples

📍 Resources:

Ways to contact or follow Catherine:

Website: https://insightconnection.uk/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/insightandconnection/

Back In The Sack: https://insightconnection.uk/sex-after-kids/

✨ We want to hear from you:

What did you love most?  

✨ Drop us a message:

[email protected]

✨ Connect with us:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/relational_lives  

✨ All past episodes are still available — go back and revisit your favourites!   Subscribe for future episodes on trauma, attachment and more mental health topics. If you found this episode helpful, please like this video or share it with a friend!

✨ Disclaimer:

Please reach out to an appropriate professional in your area if you feel you need individualised help.  

✨ Credits:  

Hosts: Alison Bickers and Ros Peckham at www.mytempo.co.uk  

In this episode, we explore what it really means to feel “triggered” and why some reactions in the present are powered by unhealed moments from the past. We look at how triggers show up in the body and nervous system, how they’re shaped by earlier relationships, and why they can feel so fast and overwhelming. You’ll hear practical ways to spot your own triggers, pause before reacting, and respond with more self-compassion. We also explore how triggers play out in close relationships, and how understanding them can move couples from blame and shutdown towards more safety and connection.

Chapters

00:00 Introduction to Triggers

01:19 Understanding Triggers and Reactions

04:01 Recognizing Personal Triggers

07:03 Defensive Reactions and Their Roots

10:01 The Impact of Triggers on Relationships

13:01 Exploring Emotional Responses

16:01 Triggers in Digital Communication

17:55 The Impact of Exclusion on Self-Perception

20:15 Understanding Triggers from Past Experiences

26:36 The Role of Core Beliefs in Emotional Reactions

31:29 Strategies for Managing Triggers and Reactions

✨ We want to hear from you:

What did you love most?  

✨ Drop us a message:

[email protected]

✨ Connect with us:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/relational_lives  

✨ All past episodes are still available — go back and revisit your favourites!   Subscribe for future episodes on trauma, attachment and more mental health topics. If you found this episode helpful, please like this video or share it with a friend!

✨ Disclaimer:

Please reach out to an appropriate professional in your area if you feel you need individualised help.  

✨ Credits:  

Hosts: Alison Bickers and Ros Peckham at www.mytempo.co.uk  

In this episode, we’re joined by Monica Tanner, host of Secrets of Happily Ever After, to explore the myths that quietly shape our expectations of marriage. We dive into what actually helps couples communicate more openly, rebuild intimacy, and create relationships grounded in mutual respect. If you’ve ever questioned the “rules” you’ve been taught about love, this conversation offers a refreshing and practical new perspective.

Chapters

00:00 Introduction to Marriage Myths

01:51 Monica's Journey and Background

07:00 Communication: The Key to Relationships

10:09 Identifying Common Marriage Myths

18:50 The Importance of Collaboration in Marriage

22:31 Navigating Communication in Relationships

27:16 Challenging Myths Around Sexuality

30:56 Cultivating Compassionate Curiosity

37:10 Key Takeaways for Relationship Growth

📍 Resources mentioned:

Book: https://a.co/d/025VpZLO

Podcast: https://open.spotify.com/show/6KnkyQGEr20TnQsfmx7kX0?si=01e6f9237346405f

✨ We want to hear from you:

What did you love most?  

✨ Drop us a message:

[email protected]

✨ Connect with us:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/relational_lives  

✨ All past episodes are still available — go back and revisit your favourites!   Subscribe for future episodes on trauma, attachment and more mental health topics. If you found this episode helpful, please like this video or share it with a friend!

✨ Disclaimer:

Please reach out to an appropriate professional in your area if you feel you need individualised help.  

✨ Credits:  

Hosts: Alison Bickers and Ros Peckham at www.mytempo.co.uk  

In this episode of Relational Lives, the hosts explore what it really means to listen, and to feel heard, in our relationships. They unpack the idea of ‘holding space’ for one another, the subtle barriers that get in the way of meaningful communication, and the difference between simply hearing and truly being present. Blending personal stories with professional insight, they reflect on how different communication styles shape connection and disconnection alike. The conversation offers practical ways to build deeper understanding, patience, and curiosity, reminding us that genuine listening is less a skill we have, and more one we keep learning.

Chapters

00:00 Introduction to Listening and Being Heard

02:54 Understanding Holding Space

05:51 Barriers to Effective Listening

08:40 The Impact of Emotions on Listening

11:44 Examples of Effective Listening

14:37 The Role of Curiosity in Communication

17:47 Influences on Our Ability to Listen

18:34 The Importance of Being Heard

21:29 Overcoming Communication Barriers

23:52 Navigating Relationship Dynamics

27:15 Finding Courage to Communicate

30:01 Techniques for Effective Listening

32:57 Creating Space for Both Voices

36:38 The Journey Towards Better Communication

✨ We want to hear from you:

What did you love most?  

✨ Drop us a message:

[email protected]

✨ Connect with us:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/relational_lives  

✨ All past episodes are still available — go back and revisit your favourites!   Subscribe for future episodes on trauma, attachment and more mental health topics. If you found this episode helpful, please like this video or share it with a friend!

✨ Disclaimer:

Please reach out to an appropriate professional in your area if you feel you need individualised help.  

✨ Credits:  

Hosts: Alison Bickers and Ros Peckham at www.mytempo.co.uk  

In this episode, Ros and Ali explore the vital role that boundaries play in our relationships, how they shape connection, protect well-being, and promote self-respect. They unpack what boundaries really are, the different forms they take, and why so many of us struggle to set or maintain them. Along the way, they consider the influence of family dynamics, workplace norms, and personal history, highlighting how self-awareness is key to boundary setting. The discussion wraps up with compassionate, practical guidance on building boundaries that feel both confident and kind.

Chapters

00:00 Understanding Boundaries in Relationships

06:24 Types of Boundaries: Physical, Emotional, and More

12:09 Navigating Boundaries in Family Dynamics

17:51 Workplace Boundaries and Professional Relationships

21:09 Understanding Boundaries and People Pleasing

24:37 The Impact of Childhood on Boundaries

29:39 Recognizing and Changing Boundary Behaviours

35:46 Practicing Assertiveness in Setting Boundaries

39:43 Reflecting on Personal Boundaries and Growth

📍 Resources mentioned:

Things you might notice in yourself and in the relationship when your boundaries are being crossed.

Many people only recognise boundary crossings through these kinds of feelings and patterns, and that noticing them is often the first step toward making kinder, clearer choices in relationships.

What you might notice in yourself

What you might notice in the other person’s behaviour

What you might notice over time

✨ We want to hear from you:

What did you love most?  

✨ Drop us a message:

[email protected]

✨ Connect with us:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/relational_lives  

✨ All past episodes are still available — go back and revisit your favourites!   Subscribe for future episodes on trauma, attachment and more mental health topics. If you found this episode helpful, please like this video or share it with a friend!

✨ Disclaimer:

Please reach out to an appropriate professional in your area if you feel you need individualised help.  

✨ Credits:  

Hosts: Alison Bickers and Ros Peckham at www.mytempo.co.uk  

In this episode of Relational Lives, couples therapist Michael Preston opens up a thoughtful conversation about the inner emotional worlds of men in relationships. He reflects on the challenges men often face when trying to connect emotionally with their partners, and how cultural expectations can shape, and sometimes limit their capacity for vulnerability. Michael discusses the role of father–son relationships, the power of emotional language, and the importance of non‑sexual touch in building closeness and safety. Throughout the conversation, he invites men to recognise their own emotional needs and highlights how seeking support can lead to deeper, more authentic connections.

00:00 Introduction to Men in Relationships

01:55 Michael's Background and Experience

02:21 Men's Emotional Connection Challenges

05:52 Understanding Men's Needs Beyond Sex

08:44 Cultural Expectations and Emotional Vulnerability

11:16 Changing Parenting Dynamics

12:39 Building Emotional Vocabulary

15:36 Accessing Inner Emotions

19:14 The Myth of Men's Emotional Expression

21:18 The Importance of Validation

26:36 Personal Experiences and Empathy

28:08 Navigating Vulnerability in a Dangerous World

31:13 The Emotional Landscape of Male Relationships

37:46 Sexual Intimacy vs. Emotional Connection

46:09 The Importance of Non-Sexual Touch

52:41 Building Emotional Vocabulary in Relationships

📍 Resources mentioned:

www.michaelprestonlpc.com

✨ We want to hear from you:

What did you love most?  

✨ Drop us a message:

[email protected]

✨ Connect with us:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/relational_lives  

✨ All past episodes are still available — go back and revisit your favourites!   Subscribe for future episodes on trauma, attachment and more mental health topics. If you found this episode helpful, please like this video or share it with a friend!

✨ Disclaimer:

Please remember, this is not meant to be a replacement for personal therapy and is for information and self-reflection only. 

Please reach out to an appropriate professional in your area if you feel you need individualised help.  

✨ Credits:  

Hosts: Alison Bickers and Ros Peckham at www.mytempo.co.uk  

✨This episode includes discussion of eating disorders, disordered eating, and body image. It may be distressing or triggering, especially if you are currently struggling. Please take care while listening and feel free to skip this episode if you need to. If you are affected by eating difficulties, consider reaching out to a GP or mental health professional, or contacting an eating disorder support service in your area for help. ✨

In this episode of Relational Lives, Ali opens up about her deeply personal journey with an eating disorder. She traces her story back to childhood experiences of emetophobia and the cultural pressures that shaped her relationship with body image and control. Ali reflects on how her eating disorder evolved, the impact it had on her family, and her time in an adolescent mental health unit. Through her recovery, she explores the central role of community, the transformative power of good therapy, and the nourishment—both physical and emotional, that supports healing. Ali shares thoughtful insights and hope for anyone navigating similar struggles.

#EDAW2026 #eatingdisordersawareness

00:00 Introduction to Eating Disorders Awareness Week

00:45 Ali's Personal Journey with Emetophobia

03:22 Cultural Influences on Body Image and Eating Disorders

06:28 The Development of Restrictive Eating Behaviors

09:32 The Impact of Family Dynamics on Eating Disorders

12:33 Seeking Help: The Role of Medical Professionals

15:31 Admittance to a Psychiatric Adolescent Unit

18:29 Experiences in the Treatment Facility

21:33 Community and Belonging Among Peers

23:49 The Struggles of Reintegration into Family and School Life

26:42 Triggers and the Return to Restrictive Eating

29:38 Reflections on Recovery and Ongoing Challenges

30:37 The Dormant Struggles of Anorexia

32:42 The Impact of Relationships on Recovery

36:39 Hitting Rock Bottom: The Turning Point

39:45 Finding Help: The Role of Support Systems

42:38 The Importance of Nourishment in Recovery

45:40 Understanding the Complexity of Identity

48:42 The Therapist's Journey: Empathy and Collaboration

52:40 The Role of Music in Healing

📍 Resources mentioned:

The UK's Eating Disorder Charity - Beat

We want to hear from you:

What did you love most?  

Drop us a message:

[email protected]

Connect with us:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/relational_lives  

All past episodes are still available — go back and revisit your favourites!   Subscribe for future episodes on trauma, attachment and more mental health topics. If you found this episode helpful, please like this video or share it with a friend!

Disclaimer:

Please reach out to an appropriate professional in your area if you feel you need individualised help.  

Credits:  

Hosts: Alison Bickers and Ros Peckham at www.mytempo.co.uk  

56:37 Final Thoughts: Seeking Help and Support

In this episode, psychotherapists Ali and Ros unpack the often misunderstood experience of social anxiety. They explore what social anxiety really is, how it shows up in everyday life, and why so many people are struggling with it more since the COVID pandemic. The conversation looks at the impact of technology and social media, the role of early life experiences, and how anxiety can become a self-perpetuating cycle. Ali and Ros discuss common coping strategies, why some can unintentionally keep anxiety going, and how approaches like Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) can help break the pattern. Along the way, they share practical, compassionate tools for managing social anxiety, offering reassurance, insight, and hope for anyone who finds social situations challenging.

00:00 Understanding Social Anxiety

04:29 The Cycle of Anxiety and Avoidance

07:30 The Impact of Technology on Social Anxiety

10:30 Childhood Experiences and Social Anxiety

13:30 Neurodiversity and Social Anxiety

16:14 Public Speaking and Social Anxiety

21:46 Understanding Social Anxiety and Its Triggers

25:09 The Cycle of Avoidance and Anxiety

30:56 Safety Behaviours and Their Impact

34:36 Therapeutic Approaches to Social Anxiety

41:00 Practical Steps for Managing Social Anxiety

📍 Resources mentioned:

Social Anxiety Safety Behaviours: Conversation behaviours

✨ Keeping very quiet, talking softly, or giving only brief answers.

✨ Avoid talking about yourself or giving opinions.

✨ Planning and rehearsing what you might be able to talk about.

Attention and mental strategies

✨ Focusing intensely on yourself (how you look, sound, or feel) as you talk.

✨ Having excuses ready so you can leave early if anxiety rises.

✨ Suppressing anxious thoughts or images, or silently repeating reassuring phrases.

Positioning and participation

✨ Standing or sitting on the edge or at the back of a group/room.

✨ Staying close to one safe person at social events.

✨ Taking on a “busy” role (in the kitchen, behind the scenes, on tech) to avoid direct            interaction.​

✨ Interacting with a pet instead of engaging in conversation.

✨ Choosing quiet times or less crowded places to go out.

Eye contact and body language

✨ Avoiding or minimising eye contact.

✨ Holding objects tightly (cups, bags, papers) to hide shaking or to feel steadier.

✨ Fidgeting with phones, keys, or other items to look busy and unapproachable.

✨ Use of phones, devices, and props

✨ Frequently checking or using a phone during social situations.

✨ Wearing headphones or appearing engrossed in a screen to limit interaction.

✨ Keeping a drink, bag, or notes in hand as a “shield” or distraction.

Appearance and hiding physical symptoms

✨ Wearing certain clothes (layers, long sleeves, dark colours) to hide sweating or                shaking.

✨Using makeup to conceal blushing or other visible signs of anxiety. S

Substances and situational avoidance

✨ Using alcohol or other substances to relax.

✨ Avoiding caffeine, exercise, warm rooms, or spicy foods to prevent anxiety like                sensations.​

✨ Limiting or declining invitations to many social events (partial avoidance rather than        total).

Reassurance and checking

✨ Asking others for repeated reassurance about how you came across (“Did I sound            stupid?”).

✨ Replaying conversations afterwards to check for mistakes or signs of humiliation.

✨ Practising or overpreparing for routine social tasks (emails, phone calls, meetings)            to avoid possible errors.

We want to hear from you:

What did you love most?  

Drop us a message:

[email protected]

Connect with us:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/relational_lives  

All past episodes are still available — go back and revisit your favourites!   Subscribe for future episodes on trauma, attachment and more mental health topics. If you found this episode helpful, please like this video or share it with a friend!

Disclaimer:

Please reach out to an appropriate professional in your area if you feel you need individualised help.  

Credits:  

Hosts: Alison Bickers and Ros Peckham at www.mytempo.co.uk