Marriage question? Ask Stu and Lisa Here

Newlyweds with Sexual abuse and Pornography issues

this post contains affiliate links

On the Show Today:

Join us on our Instagram account - Stupendous Marriage on Instagram

Stu and Lisa went to a wedding this weekend and it was beautiful!

Listener Question:

I’ve been with my husband 2 years this year. In high school, I experienced sexual assault and have found sex to be hard for me at times. We have talked about it and found ways that work for us and so that I don’t feel uncomfortable but I know that the nights we don’t have sex my husband sometimes watches porn and I feel like because of the anxieties I experience with sex I am leading him away from what God or creating a door for possible adultery in the future. I have tried to tell him in a way that wasn’t coming at him like an attack that I am uncomfortable with it. We don’t have a lot of sex so my question is am I wrong for not wanting him to watch porn? And if I’m not how can I talk to him about it in a way that won’t seem like I’m attacking him.

Resources:

Celebrate Recovery

How to understand your own or your partner's sexual abuse history (from a clinical psychologist)

Show your Support for Stupendous Marriage!

(affiliate link) Check out our new Amazon Influencer Page for Marriage Books To help support the show!

Take a minute to comment and Rate us on iTunes!

Tell your Married Friends about the show!

Stupendous Marriage Show on Facebook

THANKS!

Subscribe: iTunes| RSS|Google|Stitcher

Additional Music from Audiohero.com

 

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit stupendousmarriage.substack.com

ASK YOUR QUESTION ABOUT MARRIAGE:

1.615.592.1060

I have a crush on Someone, Not my Spouse this post contains affiliate links

On the Show Today:

• Our Beagle, Spencer, Ate something horrible apparently, and we spent most of our Sunday cleaning him, and the room he sleeps in.  In the rain. Yikes. Good times.

Listener Question:

I have developed a crush on someone who is not my husband. It happened at a small group that we are in at church. This guy is married and is a strong personality. I enjoy being around him and how he looks at his wife and kids. It's something that my husband doesn't do as much as he used to. Also, my husband doesn't seem as put together as he is. I haven't pursued anything with him, and I never would, but what do I say to my husband?

Resources:

• When you're attracted to someone who isn't your spouse
• Wishing he were your husband

Show your Support for Stupendous Marriage!

• (affiliate link) Check out our new Amazon Influencer Page for Marriage Books To help support the show!
• Take a minute to comment and Rate us on iTunes!
• Hop on our email list to get marriage encouragement in your email weekly.
• Tell your Married Friends about the show!
• Stupendous Marriage Show on Facebook

THANKS!

Subscribe: iTunes| RSS|Google|Stitcher
Additional Music from Audiohero.com

 

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit stupendousmarriage.substack.com

Marriage Question? Send it to us here

Am I Too Mothering of My Husband?

this post contains affiliate links

On the Show Today:

Listener Question: 

...My husband and I are in our mid/late twenties and have only been married for seven months.  

I'm starting to wonder if he is becoming too dependent on me.

One of the reasons I was attracted to him when we started dating was because he was a very independent person, and I respected that about him. Since we've been married, it has been bothering me when he asks me to do things for him that he could easily do for himself. Most of the time, they are just little things, but it is beginning to grate on me.

Some examples would be things like getting up to get something from the kitchen, finding lost objects, looking up information on the internet, running errands, solving problems...normal adult stuff that we all have to do. I'm a very giving person by nature, and I do take good care of him, but I also try to treat him with respect and to not mother him.

I want him to be an independent adult, not a husband who is dependent on his wife to function as an adult. It this a normal newlywed problem? Could I be overreacting, or is he expecting too much mothering from me?

Resources:

5 Love Languages Book (affilitate link)

N Is for Newlyweds

5 secrets Newlyweds should know

Show your Support for Stupendous Marriage!

(affiliate link) Check out our new Amazon Influencer Page for Marriage Books To help support the show!

Take a minute to comment and Rate us on iTunes!

Stupendous Marriage Show on Facebook

THANKS!

Subscribe: iTunes| RSS|Google|Stitcher

Show art: Canva.comAdditional Music from Audiohero.com

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit stupendousmarriage.substack.com

A Wife asks about her husband being too dependent on her. She takes care of him well and asks if she is too Mothering of him. The post Am I too Mothering of My Husband? – Ep. 161 appeared first on Stupendous Marriage.

Download the Stupendous Marriage Show!

ASK YOUR QUESTION ABOUT MARRIAGE:

1.615.592.1060

I Feel Guilty When we Have Sex!

this post contains affiliate links

On the Show Today:

* Our Son turned 13 this week and we enjoyed celebrating him

* Stu had his Dad and Father in Law write letters of blessing to Dean to celebrate a new season beginning. Stu seemed to appreciate it more than his son (right now!)

 

Listener Question: 

My husband and I have been married for just over a year, our marriage overall seems to be going at a steady pace! We attend church, we pray together, we are best friends & we are very happy! I, however, I have one issue. Whenever I and my husband are intimate I feel guilty.

I sometimes wonder if it’s because I grew up in a strict Christian household where I was taught sex was basically a bad thing until marriage & that me and my husband made the mistake of not waiting until we were married to be intimate, about 7 months before our wedding we both became super convicted and decided to stop being intimate with each other.

Now that we are married and living out gods design for marriage I want to be able to enjoy the intimacy God has planned for us without feeling like I’m sinning even when I am not, I thought when we quit being intimate before marriage it would solve my guilty conscience but it hasn’t & I am over always feeling this overwhelming guilt.

I know it’s In my head and that it’s something I need to work through. I have asked for forgiveness and prayed a lot about this specific topic but I am struggling to find the relief I am wishing for.

Shout out to Julie Sibert at Intimacy In Marriage.com

Resources:

• When you Can't Shake the Guilt
• Recovery from Guilt over your Sexual Past
• Taking responsibility for premarital sex in your marriage
• Julie's 3 Keys to Passionate Sex Resource

Show your Support for Stupendous Marriage!

• (affiliate link) Check out our new Amazon Influencer Page for Marriage Books To help support the show!
• Take a minute to comment and Rate us on iTunes!
• Hop on our email list to get marriage encouragement in your email weekly.
• Tell your Married Friends about the show!
• Stupendous Marriage Show on Facebook

THANKS!

Subscribe: iTunes| RSS|Google|Stitcher

Show art:Photo by JJ Ying on Unsplash
Additional Music from Audiohero.com

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit stupendousmarriage.substack.com

On the Show Today:

 *Labor Day week in the States, so this show highlights a conversation from Stu and Lisa about being a student of your spouse 

 

*They also answer a question from a listener about being a student of your spouse

Show your Support for Stupendous Marriage!

(affiliate link) Check out our new Amazon Influencer Page for Marriage Books To help support the show!

Take a minute to comment and Rate us on iTunes!

MArriage Question? Send it to us here

 

THANKS!

 

Subscribe: iTunes| RSS|Google|Stitcher

 Additional Music from Audiohero.com

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit stupendousmarriage.substack.com

Stu and Lisa discuss being a Student of your spouse, and answer a question about the same topic The post Being a Student of Your Spouse Episode 159 appeared first on Stupendous Marriage.

How do you teach your kids that sex isn't bad?

On the Show Today:

Listener Question: I love the marriage show, your advice has helped me in many ways I feel happier and Have a more positive outlook on marriage...My question today is, you’ve talked about how growing up we were always taught sex is bad, don’t do it. How do we now teach our kids that sex is great but only in marriage. I feel like if you tell them it’s great it’s going to make them want to do it. How do you make it a positive thing without seeming like your okaying it outside of marriage? Thank you

Shout out to Dr. Jessica McCleese at BeFullyWell.com <----Visit her Website!!!!!

Resources:

Sheila Wray Gregoire 10 Tips on talking to your kids about sex

5 Tips from Kris Vallatton on Teaching your kids about Sex

3 Things you didn't realize you are teaching your kids about sex

These 4 books (aff link) are age appropriate for different stages in a childs life. Have not read them, so you would need to judge for yourself if they work for your family!

Show your Support for Stupendous Marriage!

(affiliate link) Check out our new Amazon Influencer Page for Marriage Books To help support the show!

Take a minute to comment and Rate us on iTunes!

Tell your Married Friends about the show!

Stupendous Marriage Show on Facebook

THANKS!

Subscribe: iTunes| RSS|Google|Stitcher

Show art: Photo by rawpixel on Unsplash

Additional Music from Audiohero.com

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit stupendousmarriage.substack.com

How do you teach your kids that sex isn't bad inside marriage? This is a question that was asked by a listener and Stu and Lisa chat about it on this show. The post How do you teach your kids that sex isn’t bad? Episode 158 appeared first on Stupendous Marriage.

I want to stay home with my kids. My Husband wants me to go back to work Episode 157

On the Show Today:

Listener Question:

We’ve talked about kids before getting married and got on the same page with things like how many and names, even that we’d be open to fostering kids. now that we are more serious about it we talked about jobs after kids. I don’t want to work when we have children ... He on the other hand says I have to work.

He wants me back to work as soon as maternity leave is over. We both work in the same place and don’t make much money, even together. We talked about him getting a better job so I can stay home with the kids and he gets mad and sarcastic and says maybe I should get a better job so he can stay home. He has work ethic and goes to work 40 hours every week (as do I) so I don’t want to say he’s lazy but I dont See what he does all day at work and his job allows him to play on his phone and sit most of the day....

So it’s not like I’m asking him to quit his dream job and goals for me. I wish he would want to work hard for me and our family since staying home with the kids is very important to me....

I understand in some situations women have to work and there’s no other option. And some women want to work and don’t mind leaving their children with a babysitter or putting them in daycare or even the father staying home instead and that's perfectly fine but that’s just not what I want to do...

Am I being selfish in wanting to stay home with our kids? Am I disrespecting my husband if I do stay home anyways? And is it wrong of me to ask him to get a better job to support us? How do I explain it to him in a way were he doesn’t get angry and overwhelmed thinking he has to support us even tho I feel as the man he should?

Resources:

Dan Miller 48 days.com

48Days Podcast - a wife and Mom is a Voiceover Artist

48Days Podcast - Growing a business with 15 hours a week

Boss Mom Podcast - (Don't know this show, but it sounds interesting about the topic)

31 HomeBased Business ideas from Bob Lotich at Seedtime

Support Stupendous Marriage!

(affiliate link) Check out our new Amazon Influencer Page for Marriage Books To help support the show!

Take a minute to comment and Rate us on iTunes!

Tell your Married Friends about the show!

Stupendous Marriage Show on Facebook

THANKS!

Show art: Additional Music from Audiohero.com

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit stupendousmarriage.substack.com