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Using your safeword is never something to be afraid of. While it may sometimes mean stopping the scene, it also prevents you from going to places you’re not ready to explore. Yet, guilt or self-disappointment can make using a safeword feel like a failure for many. Fortunately, there are ways to address the guilt, disappointment, or fear around using or not using your safeword when it truly matters.

Thoughts to Ponder

1. What is your opinion about safewords? What value do they have in a relationship?
2. If you have withheld a safeword in the past, why did you do it? What were you trying to gain by doing so?
3. What other issues arise from using your safeword?

Interesting Links

• Things You Need to Know: Why Safewords Are Not Safe
• Some Thoughts About Safewords

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Most people say ‘sorry’ or ‘I’m sorry’ far too often. You’re probably aware of whether this is an issue for you. If you struggle with frequent apologizing, you may need to take a different approach to find ways to express what you really mean.

The Art of Apology Series - Submissive Guide

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Get Your Copy of “Becoming a Service Submissive” Today!  

Sub drop is a natural part of the BDSM experience, but it doesn't have to derail your enjoyment. Learn how to recognize the signs, prevent severe symptoms, and create a personalized aftercare plan that supports both your physical and emotional recovery. From building a drop kit to mastering self-care strategies, this guide empowers you to take control of your well-being and embrace every part of the journey with confidence.

Hormone Junkies Series:

• Adrenaline
• Oxytocin
• Testosterone
• Endorphins

More Resources:

• Sub Drop in Long-term relationships
• What is Aftercare, Why Do You Need It, and How to Ask for It
• Six Important Activities to Include in Your Aftercare Routine
• Self-Aftercare
• Submissive Guide FetLife Group

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We’ll cover the complexities of online submission, offering various safe environments to explore and learn the nuances of BDSM and discuss the potential benefits and dangers. We’ll help you navigate the online BDSM landscape with confidence and care.

Become a member and get more from Submissive Guide today.

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A question I see asked all the time is, "How can I be a better submissive?" Here are a few things you can do to improve your submission and service without much work.

Resources - 

• Non-sexual Service and How To Add It To Your Dynamic
• How Making a Cup of Coffee Centers Me
• Ritual Ideas: High Tea, Japanese Tea Ceremony and Formal Dining
• 3 Reasons a "Perpetual Student" Mindset Is Vital to Kink
• Create SMART Goals For Your New Year's Resolutions and Reach Your Goals This Year!
• The Importance of Journaling Your Submission
• 5 Simple Steps to Creating a Personal Submissive Mantra
• 365 Days of Submission
• Learning Good Observation Skills for Better Submissive Awareness
• Entering the Community: The Different Ways to Socialize with Local Kinksters
• Finding Your Submissive Voice: Speak Up for Better, Honest Communication
• Active Submission Means Always Improving Yourself
• A Submissive's Prime Directive: Take Care of the Property
• Submissive Guide FetLife Group

Become a member and get more from Submissive Guide today.

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A very special thank you to all who have joined our Patreon. You have helped transform Submissive Guide into one of the leading BDSM education sources online. We're overwhelmed with your generosity and support. Thank you.

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Let's discuss how to build healthy communication skills in our D/s relationship and what a safe environment for difficult conversations looks like. I’ll give you the tools to develop a report with your partner that is full of trust, shared vulnerability, and compassion. You’ll learn that a safe environment for those challenging talks requires planning and mutual agreements to work as they should. 

Resources:

Conversation Starters for Difficult Conversations: https://www.wikihow.com/images/sampledocs/f/Conversation-Starters-for-Difficult-Conversations.pdf 

Kink Friendly Therapists:

• Psychology Today - https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/sex-positive-kink-allied
• Kink Friendly Therapy - http://kinkfriendlytherapy.com/resources-3/resources/
• Kink Aware Professionals Directory - https://www.kapprofessionals.org/

Domestic Abuse Hotlines:

US: https://www.thehotline.org/

UK: https://www.nationaldahelpline.org.uk/

EU: https://www.improve-horizon.eu/helplines 

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A very special thank you to all who have joined our Patreon. You have helped transform Submissive Guide into one of the leading BDSM education sources online. We're overwhelmed with your generosity and support. Thank you.

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Often, we discover our desire to be submissive or kinky when we are already in a relationship and are not sure really how to proceed with that. Let’s cover what you should do to prepare to talk to your partner about your newfound interest, how you can encourage a submissive mindset on your own, and how you can slowly bring kink into the bedroom.

Read the article: https://submissiveguide.com/dsrelationships/articles/making-him-the-dom-of-your-dreams-working-with-the-man-you-have 

Initiating a Discussion about BDSM with Your Partner:

• Initiating a Discussion about BDSM Interest with Your Partner - ted_subby - Part 1 of a 3-part series. Highly recommended.
• Ask SehAnru | Communicating Kinky Needs to a Vanilla Partner - SehAnru
• Establishing a Safe, Trusting Environment for Talk - lunaKM

Resources:

• Recommended Reading Lists
• Creating a Personal Submissive Protocol

Join our Discord Server - https://subgui.de/chat 

Become a member and get more from Submissive Guide today.

►http://patreon.com/subguide

A very special thank you to all who have joined our Patreon. You have helped transform Submissive Guide into one of the leading BDSM education sources online. We're overwhelmed with your generosity and support. Thank you.

_____

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Receiving your collar is a special occasion for many submissives and slaves. When a collar comes into view, some people want to commemorate that with a ceremony. Let’s discuss collars, their symbolism in D/s and M/s relationships, and how you can build a formal ceremony around declaring your commitment to each other.

Article: https://submissiveguide.com/dsrelationships/articles/how-to-plan-a-formal-collaring-ceremony 

Resources: 

Expectations of a Collar: How Ready Are You to Accept One?

Here is a list of collaring ceremony stories I found online to get you started in your research to build your ceremony.

• Our Ceremony of Roses, Vow Renewal, and Re-collaring by Mrs Darling
• Our Collaring Ceremony on the space between
• My collaring ceremony script from my polyamorous commitment ceremony on Offbeat Wed
• Planning Our Collaring Ceremony on The Chateau
• Collaring Ceremony and Ceremony of the Roses on House of Dasein
• Ceremony From The Heart: The Collaring Ceremony by Norische

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 Let’s break down what topping from the bottom is, why it’s so bad, how it can be good, and learn some tricks to stop the poor behavior in its tracks that leads to it.

Read the article: https://submissiveguide.com/fundamentals/articles/why-you-should-know-the-truth-about-topping-from-the-bottom

Chat with the Discord community! https://subgui.de/chat

Resources:

• Arcane Advice article on Topping from the Bottom: https://arcaneadvice.com/all-lessons-a-z/topping-from-the-bottom-why-its-bad-and-when-its-good/
• Resistance Play: https://www.kinkly.com/definition/810/resistance-play
• Healthy Communication Skills on Submissive Guide: https://submissiveguide.com/search?query=healthy+communication

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A very special thank you to all who have joined our Patreon. You have helped transform Submissive Guide into one of the leading BDSM education sources online. We're overwhelmed with your generosity and support. Thank you.

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Communication is a key topic to developing and maintaining healthy, open relationships. But many of us need to learn what good communication looks like and have problems with at least one part of good communication techniques.

Read the article: https://submissiveguide.com/communication/articles/every-good-conversation-starts-with-good-listening

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A very special thank you to all who have joined our Patreon. You have helped transform Submissive Guide into one of the leading BDSM education sources online. We're overwhelmed with your generosity and support. Thank you.

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