I know for myself, when I was lost in my addiction, I had severed so many ties with myself, I hid myself, I hurt myself... I did not know how to be comfortable in my own skin and eventually had let my true self go. This meant that there was no chance in hell that I was going to find any semblance of worth, growth, happiness, fulfillment... nothing. I was pretending to be someone I was not and I was paying the price.