Successful Survivors Podcast

People who survived childhood trauma know things. We often don't have the words to describe what we know and why and how we know it, but it's there.

OK let's be real... we're survivors of things that were completely outside of our control. Things were done to us or happened to us when we were too little or too vulnerable to prevent them. In other words, our control was taken away.

All of us survivors have probably seen a therapist at some point or another. They can be incredibly helpful, but some of the things they say are ridiculous. Today we're taking a look at the funny things therapists say.

Here's how to contact our hosts:

We're hoping to ACE this podcast by talking about Adverse Childhood Experiences and the resiliency that typically accompanies surviving really hard things.

WE'VE SURVIVED REALLY HARD THINGS! In fact, we've survived all of our worst days.

Relationships are inevitable! You have them from the doctor who delivers you to the very last person you see when you leave this life. Your most important relationship is the one with yourself. If that's not healthy, the others won't be either. Care for yourself. Forgive yourself, and work toward loving who you are. You are a survivor. Give yourself credit for surviving all your worst days!

1. Emotional Well-Being

2. Physical Health

3. Personal Growth

4. Social Connection

5. Conflict Resolution

6. Happiness

7. Child Development

Three ways to create healthy relationships are:

1. Effective Communication: Open and honest communication is vital. Listen actively, express your thoughts and feelings, and work on resolving conflicts constructively.

2. Trust and Respect: Building trust and showing respect are foundational. Be reliable, keep promises, and treat each other with kindness and consideration.

3. Quality Time: Spend quality time together, fostering emotional connections. Shared experiences and quality time can strengthen bonds and intimacy.

Remember, every relationship is unique, and these principles may need to be adapted to fit the specific needs of those involved.

7 signs of a possible toxic relationship can include:

1. Constant Negativity: If there's persistent criticism, contempt, or excessive negativity, it can be toxic.

2. Lack of Respect: Disregard for each other's boundaries, feelings, or autonomy is a red flag.

3. Emotional Abuse: Any form of emotional abuse, manipulation, or controlling behavior is toxic.

4. Isolation: If the relationship isolates you from friends and family, it can be unhealthy.

5. Consistent Unhappiness: If you're consistently unhappy, stressed, or anxious due to the relationship, it's a concern.

6. Imbalance of Power: A power imbalance where one person dominates or controls the other is unhealthy.

7. Incompatibility: Fundamental values and goals that are incompatible can lead to toxicity.

8. LIES

If you recognize these signs, it may be time to seek help, set boundaries, or consider ending the relationship, depending on the severity of the issues. A healthy relationship should promote well-being, respect, and growth for both individuals involved. Of course people aren't at their best when they're going through tough times, so communicate your needs, show mercy, and give the people in your life ample time to grow and improve.

For more great tips on creating your successful life, subscribe to Successful Survivors PodcastSuccessful Survivors podcast is by and for survivors of childhood trauma (abandonment, neglect, chaos, dysfunction, abuse, trafficking or any other cause of trauma). It's real, raw and funny--like us.

Everyone who experienced childhood trauma of any kind has felt the sadness of not being loved, of being betrayed by the people who were supposed to protect us, of all the things we didn't get and things we fear we may never have.

It has been estimated that 62% of adult survivors of childhood trauma report experiencing depression. Depression is often exacerbated by physical ailments in the lives of survivors of child abuse because the abuse manifests in our bodies.

Successful survivors have lived long enough to work through the depression. We have found the healthy coping mechanisms that work for us until we can replace sadness with genuine joy.

Today we're talking about what has worked for us that we hope will work for you too.

These strategies for dealing with depression will be helpful for anyone who is sick and tired of feeling sad and is ready to move on. So what are these strategies?

1. Acknowledge that depression is temporary. Feelings can change.

2. Realize you have power to choose your thoughts, attitudes, words and actions.

3. Become aware that you can push yourself to do whatever you have to do regardless of feelings of sadness or fear or anger.

4. Understand that perspective is important. Try to put into perspective that your abuser was wrong, out of their mind, intoxicated, etc.

5. For every negative memory you have, use 7-10 positive self-affirmations to create new thought processes and hope for your future.

6. Pay attention to what you're thinking about and acknowledge your feelings, then move on.

7. Get intentional about what you take into your mind through your eyes and ears.

8. Reach out to someone you trust who can give good advice and encouragement.

9. Find your healthy coping skills, like having fun, fitness, friends, hydrate with plenty of water, breathe deeply to get more oxygen to your brain.

10. Write down things that you're grateful for.

11. Be able to distinguish between your emotions and the truth.

12. If you feel anger, look for the emotion behind the anger.

13. Find support--don't expect it to be your significant other or best friend. Those people might be too close to give you objective help.

You can find us all on Facebook. @rhondasciortino @dianamoshier @dawn.windle @amberjewellhope @fostercarecloset (Leigh Esau)

Here we are at episode 4 of the Successful Survivors Podcast, by survivors and for survivors of childhood trauma. Thanks for joining us!

We survived really painful stuff, but even when we're doing well and everything is going along just fine, something can happen that takes us right back to a painful memory. Except it's not like a memory, it's like we're re-living it. These are called triggers.

Similarly, we can be "activated" by things that feel unfair or wrong or remind us of people or things that have harmed us in the past.

These triggers and activations can happen at seemingly random times. They can make us feel like we've been set back, like all the progress we've made has been destroyed. But that's not true.

There are things that we can do to take control of triggers and activations that threaten to control us.

In this episode, we share the things that trigger or activate us, like feeling left out, when someone tries to force us to do something we don't want to do, when we're hungry and have no food, and more.

Then we share 7 things we do to cope and overcome, including:

Successful Survivors podcast is by and for survivors of childhood trauma (abandonment, neglect, chaos, dysfunction, abuse, trafficking or any other cause of trauma). It's real, raw and funny--like us. All hosts and guests are survivors of childhood trauma. If that's you, WE ARE YOUR TRIBE, and you are safe here. We come from every background, culture, race, ethnicity, age group, etc., so we don't agree on everything. (It would be pretty boring if we did!) Survivors do better in life when we're connected. We push through troubles, we persevere, and we get through hard times--usually with a few laughs. 

Be sure to subscribe and share with anyone you know who had a rough childhood. 

In future episodes we're going to be talking about the character traits of survivors of really hard things, Adverse Childhood Experiences and how we can overcome through resilience. We'll talk about depression and other mental illness, chronic physical illness, boundaries, how to say NO (NO is a complete sentence!) About finding your voice and speaking up for ourselves and others, self-doubt, anxiety, communicating with others, healthy coping, choosing our responses carefully (responding instead of reacting), what a successful survivor of childhood trauma looks like, and so much more. You won't want to miss a single episode. Plus, we'll have fun along the way. 

We want to hear from YOU. What should we be talking about? To contact us go to https://www.successfulsurvivors.org/join. There's no cost or obligation to join--just purpose, meaning and connection.

Send in a voice message: ⁠https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/successful-survivor/message⁠

Please subscribe here and on Youtube at at ⁠https://www.youtube.com/successfulsurvivorsfoundationinc

IN THIS EPISODE we talk about having our voices heard about things related to childhood trauma and foster care. Each of us is the world's foremost expert on our life. We know what went right and what went terribly wrong, and if anyone is going to be able to bring improvement to the lives of those who are living through the things we've survived, it's going to be US.

Victims of childhood trauma are often the target of traffickers. According to the Midwest Study, we often experience homelessness, we suffer from depression, anxiety and other mental illnesses (others would too if they experienced what we've survived). We often deal with self-doubt, chronic illness, we have trouble saying NO or we say NO to everything.

The good news is that successful survivors of childhood trauma have learned how to tap the resilience, resourcefulness, courage, tenacity and other character traits within to create successful lives. 

Successful Survivors podcast is by and for survivors of childhood trauma (abandonment, neglect, chaos, dysfunction, abuse, trafficking or any other cause of trauma). It's real, raw and funny--like us. All hosts and guests are survivors of childhood trauma. If that's you, WE ARE YOUR TRIBE, and you are safe here. We come from every background, culture, race, ethnicity, age group, etc., so we don't agree on everything. (It would be pretty boring if we did!) Survivors do better in life when we're connected. We push through troubles, we persevere, and we get through hard times--usually with a few laughs. 

Be sure to subscribe and share with anyone you know who had a rough childhood. 

In future episodes we're going to be talking about the character traits of survivors of really hard things, Adverse Childhood Experiences and how we can overcome through resilience. We're going to talk about depression and other mental illness, chronic physical illness, boundaries, how to say NO (NO is a complete sentence!) We're going to talk about finding your voice and speaking up for ourselves and others, about self-doubt, anxiety, communicating with others, healthy coping, choosing our responses carefully (responding instead of reacting), what a successful survivor of childhood trauma looks like, and so much more. You won't want to miss a single episode. Plus, we'll have fun along the way. 

We want to hear from YOU. What should we be talking about? To contact us go to https://www.successfulsurvivors.org/join. There's no cost or obligation to join--just purpose, meaning and connection. Please subscribe here and on Youtube at at ⁠https://www.youtube.com/successfulsurvivorsfoundationinc