Let the other person do a great deal of the talking. "Most people trying to win others to their way of thinking do too much talking themselves. Let the other people talk themselves out. Ask them questions.

When you disagree with them, don’t interrupt. Listen patiently and with an open mind. Be sincere about it. Encourage them to express their ideas fully. Even our friends would much rather talk to us about their achievements than listen to us boast about ours.

La Rochefoucauld, the French philosopher, said:

‘If you want enemies, excel your friends; but if you want friends, let your friends excel you.’

When our friends excel us, they feel important; but when we excel them, they – or at least some of them – will feel inferior and envious."