Sunday Ain't Scary

My biggest life hack is reflection! My life dramatically changed when I started keeping track: daily, weekly, monthly, quarterly, yearly... but unless you have a process, it can seem incredibly overwhelming.

In this episode, I describe how I do it and give you the tools to use what I do as an example for yourself. DM me on Instagram with anything you do to reflect, I want to hear it!

• Daily: I keep a daily journal which I've been doing for the past 6+ years. I prefer the 5 Minute Journal by Intelligent Change.
• Weekly: I update a Google Doc by compiling answers from my weekly, hand-written journal into a digital format. Find the template in the "Links Mentioned" section. I also update a metrics sheet to keep track of the important numbers in life and biz.
• Monthly: I create a calendar invite to go through my weekly reflection and answer a series of questions that help me redirect my energy and plan for the next month. The template is also below.
• Quarterly: I have a call with my mastermind group where we review the quarter together, and I'm able to pull the high-level stuff from my monthly reflection.
• Yearly: I go into each level of reflection and bold the important stuff. I then go back through my photo album and pick out the best pictures. I compile the main things that happened into a Canva story template and create a story highlight.

Links Mentioned

• Goals and Reflection Document
• Metrics Document
• My IG Reflection (Under Highlights) for 2021
• My IG Reflection for 2020
• My IG Reflection for 2019
• My IG Reflection for 2018
• 5 Minute Journal
• Canva.com

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The Sunday Ain't Scary podcast is the show dedicated to those addicted to living outside of their comfort zone, obsessed with designing a life of freedom, and who choose to make every day count, because they know... Sunday Ain't Scary.⁣

3 Ways You Can Support this Podcast (For FREE)

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2. Share with Your Friend(s)

⁣3. Follow/Subscribe on your Favorite Platform⁣⁣

► Sunday Ain't Scary Episodes (Audio)

► Sunday Ain't Scary Episodes (Video)

(Note: I stopped doing video after Ep. 4 to maintain my sanity)

Keep wandering, you're not lost 🌎

This podcast is edited, mixed, and mastered by Polsky Podcast.

What if instead of more, our goal was "Less, but better?" I recently read a book called Essentialism, which has quickly become one of my favorites. It gives you a framework to develop your own purpose and stay focused on your goals. It is a discipline you apply each and every time you are faced with a decision about whether to say yes or whether to politely decline.

The way of the Essentialist is the relentless pursuit of less but better and happens in 3 steps:

1. Explore: Discerning the Trivial Many From the Vital Few
2. Eliminate: Cutting Out the Trivial Many
3. Execute: Removing Obstacles and Making Execution Effortless

A Nonessentialist approaches every trade-off by asking, "How can I do both?" Essentialists ask the tougher but ultimately more liberating question, "Which problem do I want?" An Essentialist makes trade-offs deliberately.

This intentionality is important because if you don’t prioritize your life, someone else will and traditionally in our society we are punished for good behavior (saying no) and rewarded for bad behavior (saying yes).

Here are some ways you can explore, eliminate, and execute on your new journey to LESS but BETTER. Mind you, this is a process, as I'm doing it, I'm evaluating decision by decision...

• Keep a journal to help you recognize where your energy is leaking and document life
• Get some quick wins by cutting out things that obviously aren't aligned to you
  • Use a criteria list with 3 minimum criteria every opportunity must meet to get a "yes" from you
  • 90% Rule: Give the option a score between 0-100, if it's less than 90, it's a 0
  • Pretend you don't own it and ask "If I didn't have this opportunity, how much would I be willing to sacrifice in order to obtain it?"
• Set your boundaries and stick to them! It can be hard but remember these about "No's"
  • Separate the decision from the relationship
  • Focus on the inevitable trade-off
  • Remind yourself everyone is selling something
  • Make peace with "no" often requires trading popularity for respect
  • Remember a clear "no" is more graceful than a vague "yes"
• Here are a few ways to actually say "No"
  • Pause before you speak
  • "Let me check my calendar and get back to you"
  • "Yes, but what should I deprioritize?"
  • "You're welcome to X. I am willing to Y."
  • "I can't, but X might be interested."
  • Use email bouncebacks

More isn't better. Essential Intent is making one decision that will eliminate 1000 later decisions. It's getting away from majoring in minor activities.

The way of the Essentialist means living by design, not by default.

Links Mentioned

• Essentialism Book

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The Sunday Ain't Scary podcast is the show dedicated to those addicted to living outside of their comfort zone, obsessed with designing a life of freedom, and who choose to make every day count, because they know... Sunday Ain't Scary.⁣

3 Ways You Can Support this Podcast (For FREE)

⁣⁣1. Write a Review⁣

2. Share with Your Friend(s)

⁣3. Follow/Subscribe on your Favorite Platform⁣⁣

► Sunday Ain't Scary Episodes (Audio)

► Sunday Ain't Scary Episodes (Video)

(Note: I stopped doing video after Ep. 4 to maintain my sanity)

Keep wandering, you're not lost 🌎

This podcast is edited, mixed, and mastered by Polsky Podcast.

In the past 6 months, I've gone through 2 life-changing surgeries.

A half year ago I had my gallbladder removed because of gallstones that threatened to infect my pancreas (which is potentially fatal), and on the 1st of December, I had an ACL reconstruction (knee).

Going through these experiences has forced me to try to make sense of why after 30 years without any major surgeries, my body would require 2 of them in this short of a time span. So the purpose of this podcast is not for pity… It's nice to know people care and I appreciate the sympathy, but it’s really about the bigger picture, which is summed up by this quote:⁣

“The mind affects the cells in your body, in the same sense that what manifests in the body affects your state of mind.”⁣

In this podcast, I go through 6 lessons I've learned through this process in which I believe are universal. I went through the surgeries and learned these so you don't have to 😉

1. Challenges are opportunities to breakthrough your threshold, and typically they are the sign that you're about to do exactly that.
2. Instead of resisting reality, practice surrender and radical acceptance of your circumstances.
3. Eliminate your  "shoulds and have to's." Being as limited as I am right now physcially, it's caused me to question what's actually "needed" in my life, and what's the most important. 
4. You only get one body! As I'm getting older my body is changing and I'm unable to push it to certain limits with reckless abandon like I used to. Going forward I have a renewed focus on mobility, longevity, stretching, and feeling good.
5. An injury like this brings about a new level of gratitude. Not only for my folks as caretakers, but for my career, remote work, the times of progress, and just being alive.
6. It's all connected. The physical is connected to the mental, spiritual, relational, emotional... messages from the universe come via different means. Right now the message is coming through the physical passage of injury, but it's also tied to the other aspects of my life.

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The Sunday Ain't Scary podcast is the show dedicated to those addicted to living outside of their comfort zone, obsessed with designing a life of freedom, and who choose to make every day count, because they know... Sunday Ain't Scary.⁣

3 Ways You Can Support this Podcast (For FREE)

⁣⁣1. Write a Review⁣

2. Share with Your Friend(s)

⁣3. Follow/Subscribe on your Favorite Platform⁣⁣

► Sunday Ain't Scary Episodes (Audio)

► Sunday Ain't Scary Episodes (Video)

(Note: I stopped doing video after Ep. 4 to maintain my sanity)

Keep wandering, you're not lost 🌎

This podcast is edited, mixed, and mastered by Polsky Podcast.

Last week I made the argument on the podcast that the most important, granular thing in your life is the conversations you have with people every day. These conversations are indicative of your quality of life...

BUT, I realized I left out something important... HOW do you have better conversations?

5 Easy Ways to Improve Your Daily Conversations

1. Become aware of the patterns of conversation in your life (and change them). As Jim Rohn says, "You are the sum of the 5 people closest to you." When gaining awareness of how to change your life, you can do an honest assessment of your immediate environment. Questions to ask:
   • Who do you talk to on a consistent basis?
   • What do you talk to these people about?
   • What patterns do you notice that you'd like to change?
2. Reduce your complaining and encourage others to do the same. Victimhood is normalized and celebrated in today's society and it seems like more and more we feel the need to gain sympathy and significance by parading our hardships to others. While venting is a necessary human activity and emotions are valid -- complaining shouldn't be the norm of interaction. Dwelling on things by complaining about them only feeds them more energy and attention! Can you imagine if your interactions started with a positive statement rather than a complaint?
3. Ask better questions. Have better answers. Take, for example, the question, "how are you?" When someone asks you this question, instead of answering "good," actually give them a real, detailed answer. Most people will be surprised and taken aback when you actually answer this question authentically rather than by knee-jerk. In addition, instead of asking the question, "how are you?" you can ask better more meaningful questions! Think of: 
   • "What's been the best part of your week?" 
   • "What are you celebrating lately?" 
   • "What are you working on that excites you?" 
4. Avoid negative gossip about others. "Great Minds discuss ideas. Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss people." - Eleanor Roosevelt. While gossip is evolutionarily beneficial for our species, by talking shit about others, you'll always be at a karmic disadvantage.
5. Put energy into conversations with people that inspire you and make you better. Stop talking to people that bring you down with negative energy. This might require cutting people out of your life (yes I know that can be difficult!)

BONUS: For virtual conversations, instead of sending texts, send voice notes! Whatsapp, Instagram, iMessage, Facebook Messenger all have voice note functionality that helps you add non-verbal cues and tonality to your messages so even your "text" conversations can be better.

How are you going to change the conversations you have every day?

Links Mentioned

• Read my article on the Cultural Complaining Conundrum here.

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The Sunday Ain't Scary podcast is the show dedicated to those addicted to living outside of their comfort zone, obsessed with designing a life of freedom, and who choose to make every day count, because they know... Sunday Ain't Scary.⁣

3 Ways You Can Support this Podcast (For FREE)

⁣⁣1. Write a Review⁣

2. Share with Your Friend(s)

⁣3. Follow/Subscribe on your Favorite Platform⁣⁣

► Sunday Ain't Scary Episodes (Audio)

► Sunday Ain't Scary Episodes (Video)

(Note: I stopped doing video after Ep. 4 to maintain my san

If you agree that your relationships are the most important thing in your life, it makes sense to deconstruct what makes them important and how we can improve them.

When we are disconnected we mentally deteriorate and literally go insane (e.g. Tom Hanks in Castaway or prisoners who are subjected to isolation).

• Humans NEED connection.
• Relationships provide connection.
• Communication is the glue that solidifies our relationships.
• The quality of our life is determined by how we communicate.

If you agree that your relationships are the most important thing in your life, it would follow suit that the most important, granular thing in your life is the conversations you have with people every day.

Think about these questions:

1. Who are you talking to?
2. What are you talking about?

The compound effect of ALL your conversations in your life is what determines your place in the universe. The very quality of your life is directly proportional to the quality of the people and conversations in it.

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The Sunday Ain't Scary podcast is the show dedicated to those addicted to living outside of their comfort zone, obsessed with designing a life of freedom, and who choose to make every day count, because they know... Sunday Ain't Scary.⁣

3 Ways You Can Support this Podcast (For FREE)

⁣⁣1. Write a Review⁣

2. Share with Your Friend(s)

⁣3. Follow/Subscribe on your Favorite Platform⁣⁣

► Sunday Ain't Scary Episodes (Audio)

► Sunday Ain't Scary Episodes (Video)

(Note: I stopped doing video after Ep. 4 to maintain my sanity)

Keep wandering, you're not lost 🌎

This podcast is edited, mixed, and mastered by Polsky Podcast.

Staying in touch with friends, former colleagues, and even family can be difficult at times. As we age and life takes us down various paths, it's easy to lose touch with those we care about for no other reason than being busy.

In this podcast, I talk about 3 specific techniques I use to stay in touch with my friends around the world, all of which have changed my life immensely:

1. The Power of Introductions
2. Bottom of the Thread Exercise
3. Quarterly Scheduled Calls

Try out each of these techniques and watch your relationships flourish! You'll become known as the person that's always staying in touch and providing value in your relationships. Let me know how it goes for you!

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The Sunday Ain't Scary podcast is the show dedicated to those addicted to living outside of their comfort zone, obsessed with designing a life of freedom, and who choose to make every day count, because they know... Sunday Ain't Scary.⁣

3 Ways You Can Support this Podcast (For FREE)

⁣⁣1. Write a Review⁣

2. Share with Your Friend(s)

⁣3. Follow/Subscribe on your Favorite Platform⁣⁣

► Sunday Ain't Scary Episodes (Audio)

► Sunday Ain't Scary Episodes (Video)

(Note: I stopped doing video after Ep. 4 to maintain my sanity)

Keep wandering, you're not lost 🌎

This podcast is edited, mixed, and mastered by Polsky Podcast.

During a session a few years ago, one of my previous coaches gave me a lesson on how to gain confidence in growing my business. When he started speaking about the methodology, I felt surprised at how simple it seemed, yet it forever changed the way I think.

Initiating confidence is incredibly important to achieving your potential in life. Most *real* ambitions you'll have will live outside your comfort zone. Meaning, you'll need to deal with the reality of not feeling confident while still taking action. 

The good thing?

Knowing that confidence can be manufactured should give you, well... confidence. Since it's not 'God-given,' you can work on confidence like it's a skill.

Use this framework of The 4 C's to find more confidence and ultimately achieve your goals:⠀

• Step 1: Commitment⠀

Commitment is the prerequisite. Most people fail because their commitment to their current situation is stronger than the one to their potential future.⠀

• Step 2: Courage⠀

You don't need to always know the "how." Once you commit 100% - you begin to live in a place of courage, not fear, and you build your belief systems which often become self-fulfilling prophecies.⠀

• Step 3: Capacity⠀

As you act courageously, your mind, body, and spirit increase in capacity. You use feedback loops to think critically and solve problems. You prove you can do more than you thought.⠀

• Step 4: Confidence⠀

You internalize the confidence in yourself and your ability to succeed at this level. Now it's on to the next, and the entire cycle starts over again. Level up, level up, level up, level up.

Listen to this episode to learn more details and extended examples of the 4 C's.

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The Sunday Ain't Scary podcast is the show dedicated to those addicted to living outside of their comfort zone, obsessed with designing a life of freedom, and who choose to make every day count, because they know... Sunday Ain't Scary.⁣

3 Ways You Can Support this Podcast (For FREE)

⁣⁣1. Write a Review⁣

2. Share with Your Friend(s)

⁣3. Follow/Subscribe on your Favorite Platform⁣⁣

► Sunday Ain't Scary Episodes (Audio)

► Sunday Ain't Scary Episodes (Video)

(Note: I stopped doing video after Ep. 4 to maintain my sanity)

Keep wandering, you're not lost 🌎

This podcast is edited, mixed, and mastered by Polsky Podcast.

A physical life was taken from us far too early...

Danny, one of my closest friends, who was only 30, passed away unexpectedly just over a year ago. Being as tragic as it was, I've found myself looking for the lessons from this experience as a coping mechanism. In looking for those lessons, I may have found something even more interesting...

Since my best friend died, I've been spiritually guided by him in my everyday life.

What?

Alan Watts says "we are the universe experiencing itself," and the beautiful part about life, from my view, is that it's cyclical and non-linear. I believe we are all part of a collective energy: simply projections of the universe from different perspectives, not bound by time or physical restrictions or limiting beliefs we choose to hold.

We learn from our experiences with other humans, and that learning continues long after they're gone. Some past experiences (and trauma) have taken me so long to process, only after 10-20 years have I actually been able to internalize the lesson. 

But that's just life. I imagine some lessons from Danny's passing won't show themselves for time to come. Nonetheless, I feel I'm still able to consult Danny all the time about important decisions.

Yes. I know this is dense. If you're still with me, keep going:

Our physical body is only one representation of us, the spirit lives in memory, energy, thought, and more. Think about anyone you've ever lost... Not seeing them in person doesn't mean that they don't impact your life. It doesn't mean your projection of them won't still live in your conscious. Sometimes I'll sit and think in my head, "what would Danny tell me to do?"

Here's what I learned from losing my best friend:

1. After you die, you're not gone
2. It will never really feel real
3. Grief isn't linear
4. We have no idea how much time we have
5. Gratitude for every I wake up

These lessons are strongly correlated to my experiences with Ayahuasca, which I talk about in episode 1. I hope you enjoyed this episode. I hope when I pass that I have amazing friends who can take guidance from my spirit, and allow me to do so 🙏

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The Sunday Ain't Scary podcast is the show dedicated to those addicted to living outside of their comfort zone, obsessed with designing a life of freedom, and who choose to make every day count, because they know... Sunday Ain't Scary.⁣

3 Ways You Can Support this Podcast (For FREE)

⁣⁣1. Write a Review⁣

2. Share with Your Friend(s)

⁣3. Follow/Subscribe on your Favorite Platform⁣⁣

► Sunday Ain't Scary Episodes (Audio)

► Sunday Ain't Scary Episodes (Video)

(Note: I stopped doing video after Ep. 4 to maintain my sanity)

Keep wandering, you're not lost 🌎

This podcast is edited, mixed, and mastered by Polsky Podcast.

In August of 2018, I stopped drinking alcohol. Over 3 years later, I'm still committed to my decision. In this podcast, I talk about my original reasoning as well as how I quit.

I discuss the societal misconception about quitting alcohol that often labels you as an alcoholic, feeling deathly terrified to talk about the subject, and eventually the liberation from sharing my story. I’m constantly searching for self-actualization through this type of documentation. And, by sharing, I may also help someone else going through the same thing.

For anyone considering reducing their consumption, quitting, or sharing these ideas with a friend or family member, please check out the article I wrote in the links section below for an even more comprehensive take on this topic. 

And, if you're really struggling with addiction or alcoholism, remember to contact a professional to help (American Addiction Center Hotline below).

Links Mentioned

• Article About Quitting Alcohol
• American Addiction Centers Hotline

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The Sunday Ain't Scary podcast is the show dedicated to those addicted to living outside of their comfort zone, obsessed with designing a life of freedom, and who choose to make every day count, because they know... Sunday Ain't Scary.⁣

3 Ways You Can Support this Podcast (For FREE)

⁣⁣1. Write a Review⁣

2. Share with Your Friend(s)

⁣3. Follow/Subscribe on your Favorite Platform⁣⁣

► Sunday Ain't Scary Episodes (Audio)

► Sunday Ain't Scary Episodes (Video)

(Note: I stopped doing video after Ep. 4 to maintain my sanity)

Keep wandering, you're not lost 🌎

This podcast is edited, mixed, and mastered by Polsky Podcast.

We often judge ourselves based on our intentions, and others based on their behavior.

One of the best practices in my life is constantly working to become aware of my internal stories and avoiding the trap of taking everything too personally.

Listen to this episode to learn how I've been able to ask a very specific question in times of emotional discourse to be able to reverse the urge of thinking everyone is an asshole.

Links Mentioned

• The Four Agreements
• How to Not Think Everyone's An Asshole Article

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The Sunday Ain't Scary podcast is the show dedicated to those addicted to living outside of their comfort zone, obsessed with designing a life of freedom, and who choose to make every day count, because they know... Sunday Ain't Scary.⁣

3 Ways You Can Support this Podcast (For FREE)

⁣⁣1. Write a Review⁣

2. Share with Your Friend(s)

⁣3. Follow/Subscribe on your Favorite Platform⁣⁣

► Sunday Ain't Scary Episodes (Audio)

► Sunday Ain't Scary Episodes (Video)

(Note: I stopped doing video after Ep. 4 to maintain my sanity)

Keep wandering, you're not lost 🌎

This podcast is edited, mixed, and mastered by Polsky Podcast.