Podcast Show Topic #3
Greetings, This is Toni Ellis, Your Clarity Coach and Creator of SoulSparking.com. Welcome to Soul Sparking Sessions, a podcast designed to ignite and inspire the belief that all things are possible. Because, I see you, and the possibilities for you are endless.
The title of today’s podcast is Fight the Fear of Flight.
I have grown up traveling. As a child of Air Force enlisted personnel, traveling by planes, trains, and automobiles were a basic way of life. I can remember being loaded into the back of a station wagon to travel from California to Nevada and back again on many occasions. When my parents finally split, it was not unusual for me and my younger siblings to board a Greyhound or Trailways bus line to take that almost three-thousand mile trek from Nevada to North Carolina and back again.
Most would call us “gas happy” because we loved the open road. My siblings and I were so used to traveling without an adult that no one even noticed we were traveling alone. We confidently navigated our way through bus terminals without assistance. Yes…indeed…we sometimes missed our connection due to lingering in bathrooms too long or watching those little portable television sets that were left running by other travelers who had to catch their connections.
We were pros at it though, and quite frankly too comfortable with the independence of exploration without adult supervision. Of course, these were in the days when child abduction was unheard of and definitely an uncommon occurrence among children of color. Still, it was dangerous but we were not even aware of the dangers because we stuck closely together.
On rare occasions we got a chance to fly as an individual child. It was usually on a journey to spend time with various uncles and aunts during summer break. One by one we were walked to the boarding gates of airlines holding our parent’s hand only to be released to the hands of a cheerful flight attendant. Then, they were almost always female, modelesque` types, with hospitable personalities. This was quite a treat because it meant we were a lone under-aged traveler that needed the royal treatment of special attention.
During the air travel, we would earn our pair of wings in the form of a plastic airline logo that could be pinned to our clothing, announcing to the world that we were well-behaved passengers. This was pre-smart phones, tablets, and portable music players. The entertainment was all coloring books, dolls, toy cars, yo-yos and crossword puzzles. Not to mention the bags of peanuts, standard meals, and unlimited access to soda pop in the sky! It was a glorious time.
When it came time for me to venture out as an adult, traveling by airplane was my desired form of transportation. Sure, I drove cross country as an adult, and had my share of more time on crowded buses. But when given the choice, and having the means, I’m a high flying type of chick. Gotta get there quick so I can maximize on my time away from home base.
I remember the first time I left the country to join my Army enlisted husband in Europe. It was a breeze being in the air for this long and I could not relate to all the fearful, impatient travelers on my non-commercial military flight.
It never occurred to me as a child to be afraid of flying since it was always embraced as an opportunity to explore a new location. My patience grew for traveling due to my time spent going from coast to coast on smelly buses. Those trips were at least 4 days long, and even longer if a connection was missed, or the bus happened to breakdown. Dependent upon whether your bus took the northern or the southern route it could really stretch past the four-day mark. So, my tolerance for long travel is quite high.
The longest flight I have ever taken was the one to Japan. I think it took somewhere between 16 and 19 hours. I traveled to the country to complete a tour with a musical theatre group. That flight changed my appetite for international travel. It was a smooth, uneventful voyage in the air, but seating was not as comfortable as it should have been for a flight of this duration. By the journey’s end, my ankles were swollen, I had a pinched nerve in my neck, and the time-zone adjustment was a major source of exhaustion.
Throughout the years, I have experienced my share of turbulence and unfortunate weather during air travel. Shaky flights are sometimes a part of the air travel encounter, and I have not been shielded from my share of hair-raising moments of terror in the sky. (LOL) With that said, the fear of flying has not been an issue for me thus far. However, I’ve witnessed many people around me having panic attacks when turbulence hits. Most of these people generally don’t fly often, and some swear they will never attempt to fly again after a tempestuous flight.
While researching this particular phobia, I came across an official name for it that was too complex for even this wordsmith to properly pronounce. (LOL) But the fear is very real. A fear of flying is a level of anxiety so great that it prevents a person from travelling by air, or causes great distress to a person when he or she is compelled to travel by air. The most extreme manifestations can include panic attacks or vomiting at the mere sight or mention of an aircraft or air travel.
Additionally, I discovered that the fear of flying may be a distinct phobia in itself, or it may be an indirect combination of one or more other phobias related to flying, such as claustrophobia (a fear of enclosed spaces) or acrophobia (a fear of heights). It may have other causes as well, such as agoraphobia (especially the type that has to do with having a panic attack in a place they can't escape from). It is a symptom rather than a disease, and different causes may bring it about in different individuals.
The fear receives more attention than most other phobias because air travel is often difficult for people to avoid, especially in professional contexts. A fear of flying may prevent a person from going on vacations or visiting family and friends, and it can cripple the career of a businessperson by preventing them from traveling on work-related business.
I am the most concerned about the fear of flying as it relates to business dealings. Sure, refusing to fly can limit the possibilities of global travel for fun. And it can definitely cause a riff among family during tragic life events like unexpected deaths requiring long distance travel in a short amount of time. Also, missing spectacular life celebrations of old and new friends simply because one is afraid to get on an airplane could cost you your friends. But nothing, to me, is more debilitating to an individual’s ability to broaden both their personal and professional horizons than the fear of flying.
Yes…I know people who are very successful in their professions, yet deathly afraid of flying. In fact, my husband is a very well established and successful physician and he has an extreme fear of flying. I did not notice this until I purchased as a Christmas gift for him season seats to the Oakland Raider games.
We were on the flight back home and it was very windy night. While I slept soundly on the trip back, I was violently awakened by his shrill screams of terror. As he clinched the armrests tightly, with wide-opened eyes, and shaky legs, he nervously said to me “Baby, is this normal? I don’t think this is normal!”
I wiped the sleep from my eyes, and groggily offered him some soothing words of comfort, “It’s just turbulence, Baby. It will pass.” But with every little bump, his deep seeded fears were gradually unearthed. I couldn’t believe that after all these years of flying with him, I never noticed this phobia in him. I should have been able to identify it after having flown with him to Jamaica for our honeymoon in 2002, but I must not have been paying close attention, with the newness of a second marriage and all.
After 3 years of flying to Oakland Raider home games, I’d say he is doing well at overcoming his fear of flying, and without chemical substances. Now that I look back his fear of flying showed up in other areas of his life. When we met he worked for a small medical group, making a small doctor’s salary, and seeing a small amount of patients daily. He was fully capable of taking a leadership role, but not as confident in his ability to handle more responsibility. There were a few head hunters hot on his trail, and he struggle with the fear of leaving his safe, stable, normal life of a clinic doctor. I encourage him to go for it, and in less than a year his salary doubled.
Soon, the word about Dr. Ellis got around town and his work ethic was and is unmatched. Since embracing the idea of pursuing more than the norm, his salary has quadrupled, he has been voted Who’s Who among docs in his region three years in a row, and he skillfully balances three leadership roles professionally. I’m so proud of his growth professionally, but more importantly he has prospered personally in areas that he has struggled with privately for many years.
He’s gone from being shy, to being more comfortable with interaction in diverse social settings. He grew up playing the piano, but after my gift to him of organ playing lessons, he has added another instrument to his music mastery. His love of cooking has evolved from friendly grilling competitions with his father, to cooking seven course gourmet meals at a dining experience we sponsor annually. I got tired of getting fat off of his food, so I encouraged him to share his hidden culinary talents in a unique dinner event setting with family and friends.
If you haven’t already noticed by now, I have been the catalyst to him overcoming his fears, and likewise He has contributed the same to my life. I always enjoyed sliding down snowy slopes on inner tubes, but I can now ski with the best of them… on the bunny slopes! (LOL) The point is fear is a cancer that grows and spreads throughout many areas of one’s life. Once we have identified it in one area it would behoove us to do a fear check in all the areas of our lives.
Ultimately, we should all Fight the Fear of Flight. It is my opinion that too many of us are settling for the certainty of crumbs like grounded chickens, rather than soaring higher with the eagles of excellence in pursuit of entrepreneurial ingenuity and the feast of feathered royalty.
Flying involves a defying of gravity and it is perceived by one full of fear as abnormal to be airborne. Well, it is abnormal. Normal means nothing special. I don’t know about you but I have high hopes of achieving great things. Great things are achieved by conquering great feats. What greater feat is there than to defy gravity?
I used to have a high school mentality of academic achievement: My only goal was to get out of secondary education with a diploma. I have since then accomplished great exploits in education with a Master’s Degree in Education. In the past, ground level apartment living with my own parking space was truly living. Now I live in a two-story home with a four-car garage, and a sizeable mortgage to boot. (LOL) I was always content with sharing my knowledge and expertise with people in need of support absolutely free of charge. Today, I am a paid speaker and coach on the rise in my industry, and I am more than open to the endless possibilities that lie ahead.
Overall, I realized in many ways I have had to personally and professionally Fight the Fear of Flight. The fight continues to be a daily struggle, but I’m in it to win it, because I know that by overcoming the fear of soaring above the norm, I am empowered to soar higher than I can even imagine.
Have you considered the need to Fight the Fear of Flight in your life? In what areas of your life have you become too content with the norm? Where could you use a push over the edge of business as usual to catapult you toward greater heights?
Please consider the following: Who do you share your journey with? Are the passengers on the same slow moving vehicle of complacency? Or do you feel left behind, because while your circle of friends choose to take the bullet train to the air terminal of high achievers, you have taken the safest method of marginal success?
As you move throughout your week actively Fight the Fear of Flight. Be conscious of the safe choices you make verses the ones that truly defy the representation of gravity in your journey towards outer space. Take a hard look at where you are in comparison to where you want to be, then put on your flight suit and take off!
Finally, if you have not already done so, please stop by my website and sign up for my free gift of 7-days to more Clarity, Freedom, and Love at www.soulsparking.com. Thank you for listening to my Soul Sparking Session, a podcast designed to ignite and inspire the belief that all things are possible. Peace and Many Blessings! I’m Toni Ellis, Your Clarity Coach and Creator of SoulSparking.com. Remember, I see you and you’re a winner!
