With the fact that the Millennial Generation is the most untrusting generation ever recorded, this week, Lexi and I wanted to answer the question, "How to Trust Without Getting Hurt".

Trust is what bonds us to other people and allows us to feel safe so we can be vulnerable enough to connect.

Usually people fall into one of two groups…they either give trust at the beginning (allowing someone else to choose whether to honor it or not), or hold it back, making others “earn” it.

Problem with broken trust is you’re just as pissed at yourself for your bad decision to trust them as much as you are at the person (or institution) that betrayed you.

Understanding all of these points, I wanted to talk about Why Millennials, in general, are the most untrusting generation of recorded history and how you, as an individual Millennial, can authentically “trust” in today’s upside down world without ending up getting hurt in the process.

To set the stage, I want to mention a couple of good articles about Millennials and trust.

Big Think article by Paul Taylor: "Millennials are the Most Cautious Generation We've Ever Seen"

Taylor posits a few theories about why millennials are the most cautious generation Pew has ever seen.

* A large share of young adults are non-white and/or on the lower end of the socioeconomic scale. This places them in "an attitude of vulnerability" and causes them to act more carefully because they’re not well fortified to deal with the consequences of misplaced trust."

* It has to do with millennials' time spent online. Millennials understand that you have to take everything you see online with a grain of salt; not everybody is as they present themselves. This reality breeds distrust.

* Has to do with how much social horrors, coupled with the ways millennials were raised, contributes to their wariness: “Millennials came of age at a time of global terrorism, of domestic school shootings, Columbine, 9/11, a lot of pretty horrible things that are particularly disturbing to parents. The worry about strangers online, online predators and all the rest... There is a kind of an everybody gets a trophy quality to the way millennials have been raised. You’re precious. It’s a mean and difficult world. I need to protect you. Which may then be picked up by the children raised this way as you better be careful, you better be wary."

While these are only theories, Millennials' general aversion to risk as factual and evidenced.

Simply put: millennials have watched a lot of people get burned over the past seven years. Their parents have fought foreclosures and debt. Divorce rates have led to a lot of broken homes. Millennials have come of age during an era where the promise of success more resembles a fleeting chance. There's been unending war, escalating political partisanship, and growing economic inequality. In many ways, millennials feel they've watched their cultural inheritance get squandered away by the political elite.

So perhaps the question could be phrased not so much as "why are millennials distrusting of others?" but rather "what reason do millennials have to be trusting at all?"

Another great article was from the Washington Post, titled, "Millennials Don't Trust Anyone.  That's a Big Deal"

The article states...

There is a feeling that the safety net is gone. In political terms, the conviction that honest brokers simply don't exist leads people to seek sustenance from those who affirm their points of view. They watch the same TV shows,

This week, Lexi and I share with you How to Effectively Communicate With Different Personality Types.

The point of the show this week is to expose the four most general personality types (known as the Personality Quadrant) and to explain each one so you can get some idea of where you fit. As an extra bonus, Here is the link to an online test where you can take the test for free and find out which type of personality you associate with the most.

Another easy and cheap way to figure out what your core personality, is to head to Amazon and pick up the book by Keirsey and Bates titled, "Please Understand Me".  It has a test that will take you about 20 minutes but will provide you with a wealth of information about what type of personality you tend to be.

I generally follow the Personality Quadrant model for personality differences.  This model splits personalities up into four possible categories:

*

The Controller

* Task accomplisher

* Bottom-line results

* Self-motivated

* Forward looking

* Fast decision-maker

* Initiates activities

* Disciplined

* Likes to control others

*

The Promoter

* High energy

* Enjoyable to be around

* Creative imagination

* Initiates relationships

* Motivating

* Competitive spirit

* Goal-oriented

*

The Analyzer

* Objective

* Conscientious

* Defines, clarifies

* Concerned with accuracy

* Gathers needed data/information

* Tests data

* Maintains standards

*

The Supporter

* Dedicated and committed

* Loyal team member

* Good listener

* Patient

* Good at reconciling factions

* Cause-oriented

* Dependable

For a really good description of each of these personalities, click here...it will take you to a Virginia Tech website that bullet points the main characteristics of each personality.

Once you have an idea of where you stand, you'll be able to see that other personality types see and hear and feel the world a lot different than you do.

Biggest Communication Problem

This is the biggest cause of communication problems...because, even though you feel as though you're doing a great job explaining your point of view, the other person either isn't listening or just doesn't get it...which leads to you being frustrated...which leads to them getting frustrated...do you see where this is going?

So, that's why Lexi and I wanted to explain how to effectively communicate to someone that has a totally different personality structure than you do.

Also, we wanted to touch on the different communication approach needed based on the situation...you wouldn't want to communicate to someone that you are asking out the same way you would with your boss.

All of these questions and more are answered on this week's show.

Before you go, I would like to provide you with a way to get my latest FREE mini-guide.  

This one is all about 7 Proven Phrases That Will Immediately Bring More Love, Money and Happiness Into Your Life.  

Here's the link:      http://wp.me/P7LiCb-i1

Because I have two good friends that have lost a family member over the last week, I thought it would be good to talk to you about how to Heal Thyself : Best Way to Recover from a Big Loss.

This podcast is all about dealing with a big loss in the most constructive, healthy and healing way. And, when I say loss, it's not just about the death of someone close to you, but also:

- The end of a meaningful relationship

- Leaving a job or being fired

- Having to move far away

- The loss of a close friendship

- A big material loss like a house

- or, a financial loss

All of these instances will put your mind in a state of grieving where you'll have to go through the stages of healing in order to move on with your life in a more productive and healthy manner.

This show talks about the characteristics that are the same in all of these types of losses and why they are so impactful on us.

The Stages of Grief

That leads into a discussion on the Stages of Grief, because if you don't know the stages and how they work, then you won't be able to successfully navigate your way through.

Then, I talk about certain things that might come up during a difficult time like this in your life, like self-sabotage, major guilt, hopelessness, anger, frustration, mass confusion...and the way you can combat all of these by just knowing how to navigate through the process.

There are also a number of techniques you can use to ground yourself and help the healing process...we'll talk about a few of those and how they can specifically help you.

How to Be the Perfect Supporter

Lastly, I wanted to turn the tables and talk about what to do if you find yourself in a "supporter" role to someone who is experiencing a big loss. There are some very specific "do's" and "dont's" to follow if you want to be the best most productive supporter you can be.

If you have a story of loss and recovery that you think would help others, please share below or go to the javabud.com website and share under the post...because every loss situation is different and your perspective may just be something that helps someone else through a very difficult time.

Peace...

Before you go, I would like to provide you with a way to get my latest FREE mini-guide.  

This one is all about 7 Proven Phrases That Will Immediately Bring More Love, Money and Happiness Into Your Life.  

Here's the link:      http://wp.me/P7LiCb-i1

This week I was planning on debunking some stupid myths when it comes to the Millennial generation. However, in looking up the research, I got really pissed at all the Millennial Bashing that was going on, so I changed it up and decided to do a show about

"Why Millennials Will Change the World"

This week Lexi and I get fired up about all of the name calling and generation bashing that has been directed at Millennials / Gen-Y's from the Gen X'ers and Baby Boomers.

Some of the points covered in this week's show include:

- The power in numbers of Millennials

- The completely different upbringing the Millennials went through versus previous generations and why that has led to the high level of misunderstandings between the generations.

- The elevated perspective of Millennials and why the previous generations are fearful of it.

- The effect of the collapse of the "American Dream" and how the Millennial Generation is not only rising above, but re-defining life value and purpose.

- The power of Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs and why every Millennial should know where they stand.

And, make sure you leave a comment if you feel compelled...we appreciate your opinion!

 

Before you go, I would like to provide you with a way to get my latest FREE mini-guide.  

This one is all about 7 Proven Phrases That Will Immediately Bring More Love, Money and Happiness Into Your Life.  

Here's the link:      http://wp.me/P7LiCb-i1

This week, Lexi and I share, what I like to call a Fighting Couples Guide to Successful Arguing.

 

The show is all about arguing or fighting or having a strong disagreement with a significant other or someone very close to you.  And, as you and I know, there are generally two ways a fight can go...

...it can lead to a productive discussion on what each person expects and wants from the other, or it can lead to mass destruction, sometimes to a point of no return for a relationship.

So Lex and I decided to share with you our guide to help you to argue effectively so the end result will be a successful resolution to the issue and a stronger relationship going forward...or the realization that the person you are with is NOT the person you should be with...either way...WIN-WIN

 

Some of the stuff we cover in this show include:

*

Why developing a pre-emptive plan on how to argue is an essential tool in successful fighting.

*

Why avoiding conflict is never a good idea

*

How important awareness of your own emotional vulnerability is when you are knee deep in an argument

*

Why the real reason you are arguing is not what you are arguing about

*

Where your focus has to be during an argument

*

The incredible power of empathy in a fighting situation

*

The reason perspective is such an important focus point

*

Key words to listen for in order to determine what your partner is really upset about

*

The power of honesty and how to use it

*

How to keep your discussion from going the wrong direction, fast

*

What NOT to say during an argument

And much more...

 

Before you go, I would like to provide you with a way to get my latest FREE mini-guide.  

This one is all about 7 Proven Phrases That Will Immediately Bring More Love, Money and Happiness Into Your Life.  

Here's the link:      http://wp.me/P7LiCb-i1

If you end up being way smarter than your SO, you might start to ask yourself, How Important is Intellectual Compatibility in a Relationship ?

This week, Lexi and Tony explore the issues a couple faces when one is much smarter than the other.

And, when we say smart, we don't just mean book smart, Intelligence can take on many form

Actually, there are nine classified types of intelligence and, they can be grouped as either intellectual or emotional intelligence.

The question of relationship success when one partner is much smarter than the other usually comes up as the lust bubble begins to collapse...after the honeymoon passion level starts to fade away.

And, it's at this time that most couples have to come to terms with big differences in compatibility if they exist.

 

Before I tell you about the second half of the show, I would like to provide you with a way to get my latest FREE mini-guide.  

This one is all about 7 Proven Phrases That Will Immediately Bring More Love, Money and Happiness Into Your Life.  

Here's the link:      http://wp.me/P7LiCb-i1

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Lexi and Tony realize this is a very important and layered problem for some couples, so they try to provide a number of examples where an intelligence gap can be handled. But, they also talk about situations where the gap may be too wide to keep a relationship alive.

One question Tony asks Lexi is, "Given the accepted roles of men and women in our society, is it harder for a smarter woman to be with a less intelligent man or vice versa?

Tony and Lexi finish up by sharing their views on ways to help a significant other raise their level of intelligence in order to narrow the gap.

This week, author and mentor, Bob Marsocci joined Tony to share his tips on how to successfully win over your SO’s family. Bob’s upcoming book is titled, “You Exhaust Me: A Clueless Guy’s Guide to Marriage”.

Tony gets Bob to share some of his most successful strategies for navigating the minefield of creating a workable relationship with your significant other’s family.  Because, once you are in a committed relationship, you become an extended part of the family.

That’s when the fun begins because, even though you and your sweetie are solid, doesn’t mean the family will give their stamp of approval on you.  And, if they do, then how do your expectations for your relationship jive with the family’s expectations?   God knows you’re in for a fight if you don’t agree on religion, politics, cultural issues or where to spend the holidays.

Bob’s personal experience was meeting and dating someone from a different country and being faced with very different views on life from his girlfriend’s (now wife’s) family.  Over the years, he’s developed some solid strategies to cultivate a good relationship with her family and, in doing so, has strengthened his relationship with his wife.

Some of the strategies Bob shares include:

*

Respecting the incredible power of a Woman’s intuition

*

Setting appropriate boundaries

*

What to say and not to say

*

How to pick your battles

*

When to put your own Ego aside and take one for the team

*

How to handle a situation that has spiraled out of control (A Christmas Disaster)

Before I tell you about the second half of the show, I would like to provide you with a way to get my latest FREE mini-guide.  

This one is all about 7 Proven Phrases That Will Immediately Bring More Love, Money and Happiness Into Your Life.  

Here's the link:      http://wp.me/P7LiCb-i1

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Tony winds up the show by quoting an article from psychcentral.com titled, “How Healthy Couples Deal with Their In-Laws”.  https://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2013/10/08/how-healthy-couples-deal-with-their-in-laws/

The article talks about what tools every couple needs to navigate the In-Laws, such as

*

Perspective

*

Boundaries

*

Empathy

*

Thick skin-ification (not a word, but I think you know what I mean).

Like always, I hope you enjoyed the show and please leave a comment if you are compelled to do so.

This week we have an honest talk about body image with three people that have battled body image themselves.

This week, Tony and Lexi welcome Sierra Rich, Certified Personal Trainer and operator of The  Body Movement, an online fitness/training company based in Tempe, Arizona.

Sierra Rich Bio

* Owner - personal trainer, small group fitness organizer/trainer at The Body Movement

* Studied atISSA (International Sports Sciences Association)

Sierra posted a very moving post on her Instagram about her own struggles with body image, which led Tony to invite her on the show to talk about her own story as well as how she confronts her client's body image issues.

Here is the post: "It's taken me 28 years to get to a point where I love my body more often than I hate it. What's heart breaking, is how many women I see still struggling with self-love. Training has given me the opportunity to try and reverse the dialogue that many women have in their head about their body and replace it with positivity and affirmation that they are beautiful. Loving your body isn't about loving the shape or size of it... it's about appreciating the strength and power it has to keep you going through this thing called life."

*

What are we talking about? What is Body Image?

* Body image is how you see yourself when you look in the mirror or when you picture yourself in your mind. It encompasses what you believe about your own appearance (including your memories, assumptions, and generalizations), How you feel about your body, including your height, shape, and weight, How you sense and control your body as you move. How you feel in your body, not just about your body.  (definition from the National Eating Disorders Association)

*

What would be considered a “positive body image”

* A clear, true perception of your shape--you see the various parts of your body as they really are. You celebrate and appreciate your natural body shape and you understand that a person’s physical appearance says very little about their character and value as a person. You feel proud and accepting of your unique body and refuse to spend an unreasonable amount of time worrying about food, weight, and calories. You feel comfortable and confident in your body.

*

What would be considered a “negative body image”

* A distorted perception of your shape--you perceive parts of your body unlike they really are (body dysmorphia). You are convinced that only other people are attractive and that your body size or shape is a sign of personal failure. You feel ashamed, self-conscious, and anxious about your body. You feel uncomfortable and awkward in your body.

Before I tell you about the second half of the show, I would like to provide you with a way to get my latest FREE mini-guide. This one is all about 7 Proven Phrases That Will Immediately Bring More Love, Money and Happiness Into Your Life.  Here's the link:      http://wp.me/P7LiCb-i1

Here are a couple of studies that show the huge impact of body image:

Study: http://www.refinery29.com/womens-body-image-survey-2015#.j0cusn:nHaG

Refinery29 recently asked millennial women to open up about how they feel about their bodies.

Based on some recent, solid research and a number of obviously fake news articles, there are some fascinating differences between older and younger Millennials.

This show came from the winner of the “show idea” contest I held at the end of last year.  There were three suggestions for the older vs. younger Millennial show and I picked Christian’s name out of a hat…I didn’t really use a hat, but it’s a better image than a white Ikea bowl.  At the time, Christian wrote in,

“I think you should do a show on some of the differences between “junior” millennials (born mid late 90s) and “senior” millennials (born early to mid 80s). I was born in 82 and sometimes don’t relate to younger generational millennials whatsoever. I didn’t get a cell phone until I was 23 and some millennials had them in elementary school — same with the internet and social media.” 

So, Christian and everyone else…here we go…let’s talk about the differences between older and younger Millennials

Pew Report: How Millennial Are You? http://www.pewresearch.org/quiz/how-millennial-are-you/

Forbes: Fascinating Demographic Differences between Older and Younger Millennials (John Zogby)

https://www.forbes.com/sites/johnzogby/2014/06/16/fascinating-demographic-differences-between-older-and-younger-millennials/#534e82602a78

Zogby Analytics conducted a poll of 18-34 year olds online May 30 through June 6, 2014. The 1,019 respondents were those who possessed smart phones. A total of 768 fall into the older group while 251 are in the younger group. Here are some interesting statistics:

* 52% of the older group were White/Caucasian but only 40% of the younger ones identify themselves this way.

* 36% of the younger group consider their current job to be "just a gig", in contrast with 27% of the older group.

* Overall, younger Millennials are less white, have greater anxiety about the economy, consider their current work to be ephemeral, or lasting for a short time, and are more secular than older Millennials. And, they are either more likely to be gay/lesbian/bisexual/transgender (24% to 13%) or, at least more likely to declare themselves to be so.

FREE GIVEAWAY

Before I tell you about the second half of the show, I would like to provide you with a way to get my latest FREE mini-guide.  

This one is all about 7 Proven Phrases That Will Immediately Bring More Love, Money and Happiness Into Your Life.  

Here's the link:      http://wp.me/P7LiCb-i1

 

Differences in the workforce

Newsweek article: THE DIFFERENCES BETWEEN OLDER AND YOUNGER MILLENNIALS

The article was based on answers given by Helen Min, the head of business marketing at Dropbox

http://www.newsweek.com/quora-question-differences-between-older-millennials-and-younger-millennials-496471

She has managed older and younger, high-achieving millennials in tech and found there are differences beyond the fact that one group is simply older than the other.

* Older millennials were in the workforce during the 2008 recession and likely experienced a career pivot or lifestyle adjustment during that time, which taught them how to restructure their career paths and gain perspective on being employed. Younger millennials hold a much more egalitarian, real-time view, where intelligence, abilities and performance at any given point hold more weight tha...

This week, my buddy Josh joins me to discuss the new social movement that is gaining steam...Why is Unplugging From Social Media A Thing?

When I first heard of unplugging, or shutting off my social media contact for a period of time, I thought...Great!, because that makes sense.

Let's face it, basic common sense would lead anyone to the conclusion that having your face buried in your phone 24/7 might not be the best choice for a rounded, fulfilled life.

There's even a National Day of Unplugging that will happen from sundown on March 3rd to sundown of March 4th.

According to the organizers, "the National Day of Unplugging will vividly demonstrate the positive impact a 24-hour digital power-down can have on individuals, families and entire communities. People in every corner of the world are being encouraged to come together to reaffirm their humanity, combat societal disintegration and find reprieve from the persistent digital distractions that define our modern lives, by detaching from their devices and connecting face-to-face."  And, if you do go to their website and take the pledge, they will send you a free cell phone sleeping bag!  For the record, I'm taking the pledge!

So, from that perspective, I'm all in...but should something that obvious be a "thing" which is beginning to look like a new social media "movement"?

Well, this is the question Josh and I tackled, and in doing so, I found some fascinating stats about how many of us are caught in the web and I found a few examples where people and organizations are using unplugging as a marketing stunt.

First, let's talk numbers...

*

Ninety percent of young adults (ages 18 to 29) use social media. (Pew Research)

*

Just over half (52 percent) of online adults now use two or more social media sites. (Pew Research)

*

Seventy percent of the U.S. population has at least one social networking profile. (Statistica)

*

Of the 7.2 billion people on earth, 3 billion have Internet access; 2.1 billion are active on social media; and 1.7 billion use social networks from a mobile device. (Link Humans)

*

The average social media user maintains five accounts. (Link Humans)

*

From the Financial Times: A study published last month by Britain’s telecommunications authority, Ofcom, showed that 34 per cent of internet users have at some point voluntarily gone offline due to the pressures.

*

From the Harris Poll: two thirds (67%) indicate they make an attempt to unplug at some point during the year. Over four in ten adults (45%) say they try to unplug at least once a week.

*

Millennials are the group most likely to say they make an effort to unplug in the first place (82%)

*

Nearly four in ten adults (37%) each say it’s simply unrealistic to unplug for more than a few hours at a time and they have a fear of missing out when they’re unplugged. Just over one quarter (27%) say it’s difficult because their business never sleeps.

Looking at all these numbers,