Emotional labour and blindness are two important topics when discussing how men find themselves after lifetimes of being subjected to toxic masculinity. Whether we owe our fathers, mothers, or societies isn’t really the point. Given how high suicide rates are among men, the need for more of a nurturance culture for men and breaking the silence around mental illness is great. Today I chat with my cishet friend William who discusses emotional labour and how it is gendered in heterosexual relationships. We talk about shame, defensiveness, and cultivating a language of emotions. We talk about gratitude and the debt we owe to women who have done emotional labour for us in our lives.