I continue our conversation from yesterday about what he knows about “real prisons.” No one knows anything for sure, Andi evades.

There are remand centers, youth work centers, youth homes, penitentiaries, and at least one military prison in Schwedt on the border with Poland.

The Stasi runs a remand center in Berlin-Hohenschönhausen. He doubts that our remand center here in Greifswald is a Stasi thing.

First-time offenders with relatively short sentences are often sent to Waldheim between Dresden and Gera. It is said to be one of the oldest prisons still in operation.

Long-term prisoners, lifers, and serious criminals are usually sent to Brandenburg, Bautzen, or Cottbus. “Believe me, you don't want to go there.”

He hasn't heard anything good about Torgau on the Elbe either. There is supposed to be a closed youth work camp there where young people are harassed until they bleed.

He could imagine me ending up in the Halle youth center. He hasn't heard anything good about that place either.

But the young people and the repeat offenders are supposed to be kept separate, which might make my stay more bearable. In any case, young people have nothing to laugh about.

The problem everywhere is less the guards than the prisoners themselves. Overcrowding, piecework, and brutal cliques are the bitter reality of everyday life.

I would have to expect fights, harassment, and rape.

Maybe I would be lucky and end up with several political prisoners who would protect each other.

That's why he wouldn't dream of going to prison voluntarily. It will be both my curse and my blessing.

A curse because there will always be some nutcases who want to show me who's boss.

A blessing because there may be people who respect that. Songs by Udo Lindenberg are unlikely to protect me.

That reminds me of “Sister King Kong” and I start singing:

“Sie sah aus wie die Schwester von King Kong(She looked like King Kong's sister) /Sie war zweieinhalb Zentner schwer(She weighed two hundred and fifty pounds) /Sie war die Meisterin im Catchen, im Leute zerquetschen(She was a master at wrestling, at crushing people) /War gefährlich wie ein Grizzlybär ...(She was as dangerous as a grizzly bear...)”

While we fiddle with Bakelite plugs. All Quiet in the Eastern Jail.

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