Is your life simple and easy? I believe it can be and for the last couple of years, I’ve challenged myself to create a life that is becoming simpler and easier. Prior to this time my life was so full it was overflowing, and it often left me drained to the point where I felt so weighted down that I could barely keep moving forward.
In 2019, I was in the twenty second year of running a yoga center that employed about 16 staff members and served several hundred students per week. I was also the education director and president of the board of a nonprofit yoga academy, housed in the center’s premises, that provided a variety of in-depth courses and yoga teacher training. In addition to teaching many classes and these courses each week, I was often emotionally mired in the “dramas” of staff and students.
I was working 10-12 hours per day, seven days a week. My only time off was to travel to Mexico to lead a yoga retreat or when I would take a group to India to connect with the ashram where my guru lives.
I was approaching 70 and I felt as though I was doing more and more and enjoying life less and less. I needed a breakthrough before I broke down! I knew things had to change and that I was the only one who could change them. Wishful thinking wouldn’t work. I needed a plan.
Now, three years later, I am feeling as though I am truly entering a new phase of my life that is becoming simple and easy. Today, I’m going to share some of my thought processes and actions that have brought me to this point. I believe they are consistently problematic for most people these days. Maybe they will be useful to you.
First, I needed to find a way to shed my busy lifestyle. I had to find a way to let go of many of the things for which I was responsible.
For most people, this process requires examining all of things we are doing-maybe write them out on a piece of paper to be face to face with them. Then highlight or check the ones that NEED to done, and ask yourself why and or how long?
For example, for me, I spent many hours preparing and teaching yoga classes, workshops and trainings. Why? Because I had a dedicated group of students, my classes were well attended and because I didn’t pay myself for those classes, only taking a salary, they were the backbone of the center’s financial health. So yes, they needed to be done.
Maybe for you, you spend a lot of time parenting. Why? Because you chose to be a parent and your children need your ongoing support. It needs to be done.
Next question. For how long? Teaching at the center and the academy would need to continue unless I sold the center and stopped the academy’s coursework once the current courses finished.
For you, the number of hours parenting will never end, but what changes will lead to fewer hours doing so?
It’s not about knowing specifically when something will end but having an idea of the range and what will prevent it from happening is important to distinguish. You can then begin to plan and work toward making it happen. It’s important to know where you are going so you don’t get lost along the way!
Do you ever think, “Why did I decide to do this?” Remember there was a decision to take on those responsibilities and it’s good to begin to look at the root reasons that you made that choice.
Was it done out of a fear of loneliness? Was it done to prove yourself in some way? Was it done out of a sense of obligation? Maybe it was chosen to distract you from some other area of your life? Or maybe you are thinking no one can do it but you?
It’s possible to be doing things because they are good things to do. No doubt about that. But overloading yourself, even if you have the superpowers of being well organized, dedicated, and good at multitasking, eventually will lead to some level of burnout that will affect your physical, mental, and spiritual health negatively.
It is necessary to let go of some of the responsibilities to find the space in life where you can nourish yourself, rather than wear yourself down.
I can almost hear you thinking, “But how can I let this go, or that go?” and then you dismiss the analysis and keep trying to forge ahead!
For me, selling my yoga business was an idea I put out into the universe once I decided this was truly the course I needed to take and that letting go of it would reduce stress and allow more time for me. I knew it might take a year or two but setting out that intention renewed me to the possibilities of life. I began asking a few people if they might be interested. Within a couple of months, someone came forward and after several more months, we came to an agreement and signed the paperwork. It was a year after first deciding that I would sell it, and the last couple of weeks of ownership was when we all went into lockdown due to the pandemic. Despite the relief I felt about letting it go, I also realized that I would need to delay letting go of my teaching obligations to more fully support the students who were all attending online, and the new owner who had purchased a 3600 sq ft space that was locked! I have since let go of all teaching earlier this year.
How can you determine what things might be “letting go” decisions you need to make? Let me ask you what tasks or responsibilities annoy you? Think about it. Then ask again, do I truly need to be doing this or am I doing it for some other reason? Am I truly needed to accomplish this? Can I delegate or share this with someone else?
Realize that when you hold onto tasks or social obligations that consistently annoy you that they will steadily drain you!
As I’ve mentioned in many previous podcasts, we all require a certain level of energy or prana to optimize our physical and mental health, and to make the changes necessary to create a more fulfilling, simple, and easy life.
When you can let go of some parts of your life, then you will have the energy to take on the process of simplifying your life. It’s at this point that a new intention must be set otherwise as space opens up, you will likely fill it with yet another thing and be back to where you were before!
For me, I felt like selling the center was going to give me soooooo much free time! I was still teaching 8 yoga classes per week, doing workshops, and supporting the new owner in terms management training. I started an online yoga business offering one-on-one consultations, digital practice recordings, and volunteered to be the treasurer of a different community nonprofit for which I had been a board member for a decade. Gee. I wonder why I still felt overwhelmed!
I don’t think I’m unique in this. I’ve seen many people who let go of one big task and then take on two more that might be smaller and might not!
This is when I began to tell myself, “Remember when you say yes to something, you are saying no to something else.”
Start to simplify life by “decluttering.” Start by decluttering your schedule. Don’t overschedule and as more time and space appear, start to look at tasks and projects as karma yoga, the yoga of meditation in action. This requires a certain amount of awareness and discipline in doing the work along with minimizing your expectations as a result of the action.
When looking at life’s projects as karma yoga, set a starting and stopping time and stick to it even if it’s not finished. Stopping when it’s not finished is also a great practice in letting go! By having a certain time frame provides its own sense of completion over time. For example, maybe you hate cleaning your kitchen and so you let it go all week, doing only the minimum. Instead try to schedule a 10- or 15-minute cleaning time each day and when the time is up realize that you will do the same tomorrow. In a week, you will find the kitchen pretty much stays clean with that minimum daily amount.
Another key element of karma yoga is awareness. Don’t talk on your cell phone as you clean or listen to a podcast or other things that will distract you. Instead, watch your thoughts. Many of the undercurrents, the patterns of thinking and behavior, become more evident during the practice of karma yoga.
I didn’t realize how competitive I am with myself until I started to engage more in karma yoga!
Once you have practiced karma yoga, begin to declutter you space. Organize closets and drawers, getting into areas that have been kept pretty much closed to your awareness rather than dealing with them. You may think that if things are out of sight, they are out of mind but that’s not so. Everything we own can own us at some level!
Over the past two years, I’ve gotten rid of so much stuff! I ask myself, when was the last time this was a part of my life? If it’s been packed in somewhere, I probably don’t need it. But our minds are tricky! The next thought might be that it might be needed some unknown day in the future. As soon as I have that thought I ask myself how realistic is that thought. I then either donate it, give it to someone who will use it, or I throw it out. None of the things I’ve ever thrown out have left the planet so if I find I need it again in the future, it’s still available.
The last things to declutter is relationships! Are you trying to be too many things to too many people? Are you embroiled in the dramas of other people’s lives? Do you make endless excuses for the behaviors of others? If so, you may want to go back and listen to the last podcast on Healthy Boundaries and a previous one called “Relationships, Ugh!”
As you declutter, you will feel your body and mind functioning more optimally. This is when you begin to create a more realistic life schedule.
A life schedule is one that is about you and the nurturing of you through regularity and having contingency plans. It doesn’t have to be rigid. In fact, it shouldn’t be.
For example, my life schedule includes going to bed and rising at essentially the same times each day, as well as eating at the same times. I have a morning ritual that includes yoga practices for 30-60 minutes, walking the dog for 20-30 minutes, going to workout on Mon, Wed, Fri, etc.
Build in a certain amount of flexibility. Assess what things are essential and what can be altered. You can see above I have a range for many things to minimize feeling “pressed, stressed, or just giving up” and not doing it. Make it shorter one day as needed and longer when possible but don’t stop doing it.
In addition to flexibility, have some contingency plans. This might sound complicated but without contingency plans what will happen when something goes wrong? Actually, when something goes wrong is a wonderful opportunity to watch how your mind and body responds. It can tell you a lot about underlying patterns of behavior.
Then ask yourself two questions. What lessons can I learn from this? And what alternative is there to what I had planned?
Lastly, bring the practice of gratitude into your life. I don’t know about you, but I have so much for which I am grateful. This morning it was blowing and snowing and when I was walking the dog it was icy in spots. I could have seen it as a negative experience but instead I practiced gratitude. I was grateful to have warm clothes and good shoes. I was grateful to be outside and not worry about a bomb or missile strike. I was grateful that my feet weren’t hurting as much as a year ago. I was grateful to have me 3 legged, 14-year-old dog as my companion. I was grateful for the few daffodils who were demonstrating their resilience by standing up to the snow and cold. I was grateful to be alive, living such a good life with so much comfort and abundance.
And now, I am grateful that you for taking the time to listen to this podcast!
