Wondering what your life might have been
If you’d gotten into the pants of the homecoming queen
Raging cause you never made the Ivy League
Fell a little short on your SATs
Well I made it through high school paying for favors
And in college the Jewish kids wrote my papers
These days Cornell kisses my ring
And it turns out Columbia needs my bling
I am your revenge
Much better than a friend
Trump is your revenge
I’m all you have in the bitter end
Remember that girl, prettiest in your class
Now she’s my press secretary and I pinch her ass
Back then she wouldn’t give you the time of day
And one time she spread rumors that you were gay
These days I dictate the length of her skirt
Her heels aren’t high enough if they don’t hurt
They may never take a second look at you in the street
But every day is January 6, never admit defeat
Whether you’re a Gen Z incel or a lonely Boomer
Think about your ex when I’m banging Laura Loomer
I am your revenge
Who pays back one with ten
Trump is your revenge
Cause bitter hearts don’t mend
Well you lost your job on the assembly line
But I’ve got your tariffs and your chloroquine
That brown dude who took you one on one
These days ICE has him on the run
I am your revenge
On me your world depends
Trump is your revenge
The opposite of Zen
Well I have succeeded where you’ve merely tried
Got the upscale version of a mail order bride
American women usually saw right through me
So I searched Eastern Europe and one finally blew me
When you’re a broke motherfucker it’s hard to find some action
Listen to your king, love is just a transaction
I’ve had Capricorn, Leo, Sagitarius
Just call me your President Love Vicarious
I am your revenge
And to my will you’ll bend
Trump is your revenge
Just nod and say amen
Remember all the trouble you had reading books
When the nerdy kids gave you those funny looks
These days I’m shitcanning thousands of scientists
Spreading false love to hardcore Zionists
Too many jobs require the ability to read
But the Truth Social share button is all you’ll ever need
I am your revenge
A leader among men
Trump is your revenge
The reprisals never end
A liberated people doesn’t need a king
And so I banned Why the Caged Bird Sings
I’m like the Wizard of Oz, I’m living a lie
That’s why I banned The Catcher in the Rye
Yeah, it’s easy to hate what you really don’t know
That’s why I banned Jack Kerouac’s On the Road
I am your revenge
In time you’ll comprehend
Trump is your revenge
The ravages I send
Well your daddy was cruel and so was mine
When it comes to picking favorites love is not so blind
Hurt people hurt people, you know that’s true
He tried to live through me, now so can you
Well the people who love me don’t even know me
And when I think of them it’s all about what they owe me
Life is short and it’s only a game
You follow me because I tell you who to blame
I am your revenge
Just give the word, say when
Trump is your revenge
To hell we will descend
This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit sweatingthesmallstuff.substack.com
