Two weeks before our epic annual trip to France and Hong Kong/China, my little one got rather sick. She had flu, chest infection and high fever, followed by an allergic reaction to her antibiotics. I didn’t have much sleep during those two weeks because of all the pre-trip work I’ve planned and her illness unplanned. Despite all the physical and emotional exhaustion (48+ hours road trip from our home in Sydney to our home in France), I felt there is tremendous strength in a mother’s heart. We rise as superwoman, pulling through all the hurdles in order to help our loved ones to get better and get through the challenges together as a family.  

The whole experience reminded me of an article I’ve written some time ago but didn’t release. It is about the “Mothers of the World”. As I’ve become a mother myself, I understand what “unconditional love” really means. When you watch your child suffer, there is no remedy for the mother’s worry or fear, but we find the strength we need to care for them.

Unconditional love leads to immeasurable strength. If we harness this strength for our loved ones, and perhaps for the future generations to come, it will be a tremendously powerful force to reckon with. 

As I was writing the chapter of Demeter in my book Goddess with Many Faces, I felt called to expand on this archetype based on the current social climate and observations I have among women. Demeter in Greek mythology is the Goddess of Grains. She symbolizes fertility and earthly harvest. As an archetype, she represents women who have a natural inclination to nurture, to provide and to take care of others. She is the so-called Mother Archetype. 

In my research in myths and psychology, she is mostly described as the caretaker and nurturer, in which it is definitely a strong part of her character. However, as I become a mother myself, not only I sense the influence of Demeter grows on me as I experience the unconditional love I have for my daughter, I also become more responsive towards negative news in the media about other children in the world and the environment. As though my protective instinct for my child has expanded outwards into the world we live in. 

Just like how a lioness protects her cubs and their natural habitat, I see other Demeter and Artemis women speaking up and taking actions as the urgency grows with what is happening today with children of the world and the environment in which we live in. Demeter women are no longer just about making a hearty meal or looking after people individually, but it is about thinking collectively and acting on a greater scale. They become the mothers of the world. 

So often we see the tendency to buy into the fear of what is happening in the world. We get concerned about what is going to happen to our future generations with the rate of natural degradation, divided political views and amount of social unrest. So how do we turn on the light when the dark seems looming? 

Educate and Activate

Inaction cultivates anxiety. Identifies what concerns you and affect you emotionally then learn more about the facts and situations related to your concerns. I remember reading about appeals for children in Syria and felt deeply saddened by how many of them are trapped in areas where medical aids are hard to deliver but bombing are frequent. It was part of my instinct to find out as much as I can about the situation and what can I do to help. I know every little individual effort count where so often we pause and get overwhelmed by the magnitude of the situation. 

What I’ve learned is that if we only marinate our minds with what triggers us but do nothing about it,

Two weeks before our epic annual trip to France and Hong Kong/China, my little one got rather sick. She had flu, chest infection and high fever, followed by an allergic reaction to her antibiotics. I didn’t have much sleep during those two weeks because of all the pre-trip work I’ve planned and her illness unplanned. Despite all the physical and emotional exhaustion (48+ hours road trip from our home in Sydney to our home in France), I felt there is tremendous strength in a mother’s heart. We rise as superwoman, pulling through all the hurdles in order to help our loved ones to get better and get through the challenges together as a family.  

The whole experience reminded me of an article I’ve written some time ago but didn’t release. It is about the “Mothers of the World”. As I’ve become a mother myself, I understand what “unconditional love” really means. When you watch your child suffer, there is no remedy for the mother’s worry or fear, but we find the strength we need to care for them.

Unconditional love leads to immeasurable strength. If we harness this strength for our loved ones, and perhaps for the future generations to come, it will be a tremendously powerful force to reckon with. 

As I was writing the chapter of Demeter in my book Goddess with Many Faces, I felt called to expand on this archetype based on the current social climate and observations I have among women. Demeter in Greek mythology is the Goddess of Grains. She symbolizes fertility and earthly harvest. As an archetype, she represents women who have a natural inclination to nurture, to provide and to take care of others. She is the so-called Mother Archetype. 

In my research in myths and psychology, she is mostly described as the caretaker and nurturer, in which it is definitely a strong part of her character. However, as I become a mother myself, not only I sense the influence of Demeter grows on me as I experience the unconditional love I have for my daughter, I also become more responsive towards negative news in the media about other children in the world and the environment. As though my protective instinct for my child has expanded outwards into the world we live in. 

Just like how a lioness protects her cubs and their natural habitat, I see other Demeter and Artemis women speaking up and taking actions as the urgency grows with what is happening today with children of the world and the environment in which we live in. Demeter women are no longer just about making a hearty meal or looking after people individually, but it is about thinking collectively and acting on a greater scale. They become the mothers of the world. 

So often we see the tendency to buy into the fear of what is happening in the world. We get concerned about what is going to happen to our future generations with the rate of natural degradation, divided political views and amount of social unrest. So how do we turn on the light when the dark seems looming? 

Educate and Activate

Inaction cultivates anxiety. Identifies what concerns you and affect you emotionally then learn more about the facts and situations related to your concerns. I remember reading about appeals for children in Syria and felt deeply saddened by how many of them are trapped in areas where medical aids are hard to deliver but bombing are frequent. It was part of my instinct to find out as much as I can about the situation and what can I do to help. I know every little individual effort count where so often we pause and get overwhelmed by the magnitude of the situation. 

What I’ve learned is that if we only marinate our minds with what triggers us but do nothing about it,

In my interview with Dr Orlena, we talked about how to create or maintain healthy eating habits and lifestyle for the whole family including kids. Dr Orlena is a pediatric doctor turned “Healthy Life Coach” now helping busy mums to create a healthy and balanced life. 

A few years ago, together with her husband and 2 children, Dr Orlena and her family moved from England to Spain. Since then, her family has expanded to 4 children. 

Our conversation began with life transitions, how one thing lead to another and how her career has changed. It was really one adventure after another. Many of us experienced the same thing, it may be about a career change or relocation or simply expanding our family. 

As a health life coach, many of her clients come to her because they want to lose weight, there are lots of diets and helpful activities out there that work, but at the end of the day, what Dr Orlena finds to be most useful is to have a good foundation, here are the top 3 elements:

3 Tips on Healthy Habits 

Know What You Enjoy 

Have a good understanding of what we like and don’t like, whether it is about food or exercises. There is no point to force ourselves to do things that we really don’t enjoy. She recommends the Mediterranean diet because many people just simply enjoy those foods. You may find another diet suits your taste and cultural upbringing better. 

Find Your Smart Routine 

Since being consistent is key, we should think of ways that we can create habits that support a healthy lifestyle. Dr Orlena talked about her habit of dropping her children to school and then head straight to the swimming pool every Tuesday and Thursday. This becomes a weekly routine and it is certainly a healthy habit. I found group exercises help too as we like to work out with others and get an opportunity to socialise as well. 

Have Plenty of Fresh Veggies and Fruits

Simply have more fresh vegetables and fruits around at home, make them visible and easily accessible. Visit the farmers market can be a great thing to do as well as stock up some healthy produce. Whenever we go to the supermarket, it is so easy to get packaged and processed food that there are certainly not as healthy as fresh food. 

Healthy Eating Habits for Children

In terms of creating a healthy lifestyle for our children, and especially for fuzzy eaters, first and for most, we need to have healthy behaviour for them to model from. Dr Orlena shared with us some great tips for doing that: 

* We need to eat healthy if we want our children to do the same* If your children have sweet tooth, perhaps have rules or set up special nights for dessert or treats, but then say no on other occasions, so it is more of a treat, not a norm. * Portion control is another thing, we often overestimate how much they actually need to eat. They may not like certain vegetables but happy with others, and that is ok, there is no need to force them to eat. * When we reduce the amount of sugar or salt we eat, we can actually taste our food better so it is something we can learn and grow into and appreciate more and more. * Plan ahead and keep things simple is another good habit to keep* Just have plentiful fo fruit and vegetables around and that can never go wrong! 

If you want to get in touch with Dr Orlena or learn more about healthy habits,

In my interview with Dr Orlena, we talked about how to create or maintain healthy eating habits and lifestyle for the whole family including kids. Dr Orlena is a pediatric doctor turned “Healthy Life Coach” now helping busy mums to create a healthy and balanced life. 

A few years ago, together with her husband and 2 children, Dr Orlena and her family moved from England to Spain. Since then, her family has expanded to 4 children. 

Our conversation began with life transitions, how one thing lead to another and how her career has changed. It was really one adventure after another. Many of us experienced the same thing, it may be about a career change or relocation or simply expanding our family. 

As a health life coach, many of her clients come to her because they want to lose weight, there are lots of diets and helpful activities out there that work, but at the end of the day, what Dr Orlena finds to be most useful is to have a good foundation, here are the top 3 elements:

3 Tips on Healthy Habits 

Know What You Enjoy 

Have a good understanding of what we like and don’t like, whether it is about food or exercises. There is no point to force ourselves to do things that we really don’t enjoy. She recommends the Mediterranean diet because many people just simply enjoy those foods. You may find another diet suits your taste and cultural upbringing better. 

Find Your Smart Routine 

Since being consistent is key, we should think of ways that we can create habits that support a healthy lifestyle. Dr Orlena talked about her habit of dropping her children to school and then head straight to the swimming pool every Tuesday and Thursday. This becomes a weekly routine and it is certainly a healthy habit. I found group exercises help too as we like to work out with others and get an opportunity to socialise as well. 

Have Plenty of Fresh Veggies and Fruits

Simply have more fresh vegetables and fruits around at home, make them visible and easily accessible. Visit the farmers market can be a great thing to do as well as stock up some healthy produce. Whenever we go to the supermarket, it is so easy to get packaged and processed food that there are certainly not as healthy as fresh food. 

Healthy Eating Habits for Children

In terms of creating a healthy lifestyle for our children, and especially for fuzzy eaters, first and for most, we need to have healthy behaviour for them to model from. Dr Orlena shared with us some great tips for doing that: 

* We need to eat healthy if we want our children to do the same* If your children have sweet tooth, perhaps have rules or set up special nights for dessert or treats, but then say no on other occasions, so it is more of a treat, not a norm. * Portion control is another thing, we often overestimate how much they actually need to eat. They may not like certain vegetables but happy with others, and that is ok, there is no need to force them to eat. * When we reduce the amount of sugar or salt we eat, we can actually taste our food better so it is something we can learn and grow into and appreciate more and more. * Plan ahead and keep things simple is another good habit to keep* Just have plentiful fo fruit and vegetables around and that can never go wrong! 

If you want to get in touch with Dr Orlena or learn more about healthy habits,

I've always love to learn about how leaders of different generations are formed and their background stories. What I have found in common in all of them is that none of these timeless leaders is remembered because of their title or social status. 

Look at anyone who is widely considered an inspirational figure, for example, Dr Martin Luthur King Jr, Mohammad Gandhi or Mother Theresa. Do we even remember their official title?

We get inspired by them for what they believe and what they did about it. 

Think about the Woman Suffrage Movement, pioneers such as Susan B. Anthony and Elizabeth Cady Stanton who essentially started the women’s movement in 1848, they did not live long enough to see the legal right for women to vote in 1920. Yet, they paved the way of what is to come as one of the most significant milestone in achieving women equality.

They did what they did because they felt the call to do the right thing. They believed women have the right to vote and should be treated more equally. They didn’t know for sure if they were to succeed, in fact, the odds were completely against them. But they did it anyway. 

This is in alignment with what Dr Martin Luther King Jr. believed, he said, "The arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends towards justice."

Why? Because they believe with their heart, not with their head. There are no apparent reasons why they should think they would or could succeed. But that thinking didn’t deter them, not at all.

We used our mind to form strategies, create plans and execute moves. But without the heart and deep belief in something that is truly important, none of the strategy, plan or move will lead us to the long road to victory. 

About 250,000 people showed up on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial in Washington D.C. to listen to Dr Martin Luther King Junior’s speech at the March for Jobs and Freedom. He began with these words “I have a dream ...”. Not “I have a plan”.

A true leader is not necessarily someone who holds a high position in a business or an organization. It is  someone who can inspire others and mobilize them to follow with actions. 

As Simon Sinek said, “A boss has the title, a leader has the people.”

In order to mobilize people, we must first connect with others’ heart and emotions. This is not about the use of an effective strategy. It is about thinking about who we really are.

We are emotional beings that are capable of empathy and love. When we have something truly sincere and important to communicate, people in the receiving end can feel it. Some may try to manipulate and script the right words to say, but at a deeper level, most of us can sense what is real and what is fake or what is fear masking as protectionism. 

True leadership is about who you are and why you do what you do. 

We all can be leaders in our lives, whether it is at work, at home, in our tribe or community. None of that matters, we must listen to what our hearts call us to do. And that’s the ultimate way to understand and fulfil our life purpose. 

Leadership is a quality that emerges from your life experience, essentially through trial and error, growth and losses. It is not something you can get to wear a badge once you reach a certain level of success. Wealth and success alone cannot attain leadership, they may provide some circumstances for it to develop but ultimately it requires a deeper understanding of who you are and what you believe.

And here comes the saying “You are the captain of your ship”, as you are the leader of your life.

I've always love to learn about how leaders of different generations are formed and their background stories. What I have found in common in all of them is that none of these timeless leaders is remembered because of their title or social status. 

Look at anyone who is widely considered an inspirational figure, for example, Dr Martin Luthur King Jr, Mohammad Gandhi or Mother Theresa. Do we even remember their official title?

We get inspired by them for what they believe and what they did about it. 

Think about the Woman Suffrage Movement, pioneers such as Susan B. Anthony and Elizabeth Cady Stanton who essentially started the women’s movement in 1848, they did not live long enough to see the legal right for women to vote in 1920. Yet, they paved the way of what is to come as one of the most significant milestone in achieving women equality.

They did what they did because they felt the call to do the right thing. They believed women have the right to vote and should be treated more equally. They didn’t know for sure if they were to succeed, in fact, the odds were completely against them. But they did it anyway. 

This is in alignment with what Dr Martin Luther King Jr. believed, he said, "The arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends towards justice."

Why? Because they believe with their heart, not with their head. There are no apparent reasons why they should think they would or could succeed. But that thinking didn’t deter them, not at all.

We used our mind to form strategies, create plans and execute moves. But without the heart and deep belief in something that is truly important, none of the strategy, plan or move will lead us to the long road to victory. 

About 250,000 people showed up on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial in Washington D.C. to listen to Dr Martin Luther King Junior’s speech at the March for Jobs and Freedom. He began with these words “I have a dream ...”. Not “I have a plan”.

A true leader is not necessarily someone who holds a high position in a business or an organization. It is  someone who can inspire others and mobilize them to follow with actions. 

As Simon Sinek said, “A boss has the title, a leader has the people.”

In order to mobilize people, we must first connect with others’ heart and emotions. This is not about the use of an effective strategy. It is about thinking about who we really are.

We are emotional beings that are capable of empathy and love. When we have something truly sincere and important to communicate, people in the receiving end can feel it. Some may try to manipulate and script the right words to say, but at a deeper level, most of us can sense what is real and what is fake or what is fear masking as protectionism. 

True leadership is about who you are and why you do what you do. 

We all can be leaders in our lives, whether it is at work, at home, in our tribe or community. None of that matters, we must listen to what our hearts call us to do. And that’s the ultimate way to understand and fulfil our life purpose. 

Leadership is a quality that emerges from your life experience, essentially through trial and error, growth and losses. It is not something you can get to wear a badge once you reach a certain level of success. Wealth and success alone cannot attain leadership, they may provide some circumstances for it to develop but ultimately it requires a deeper understanding of who you are and what you believe.

And here comes the saying “You are the captain of your ship”, as you are the leader of your life.

In my delightful interview with Jan Marie, she shared with us so many great tips on how to HAVE IT ALL without feeling overwhelmed, exhausted and downright resentful. Think of the image of a super-mum, wife, daughter, friend, who has a good career or a thriving business, plus someone who is health-conscious and earth-friendly, well the list goes on. 

Jan has been a licensed therapist for 18 years before become a Transformational Life Coach. She knows how it is like to be in transition first hand. We talked about how she felt she needed a change with her work, although she loved working with her patients, she wanted more freedom to share her work and to support more people. 

Like me, Jan is also a mum and she has 2 little ones. We talked about how common new mums don’t talk about their struggles or past wounds, as we spend all our time trying to do everything right for our babies but often overlook the importance to take better care of our body, mind and soul.

When we are low on our priority list, our self-worth and wellbeing will be greatly affected, but we may not be aware of it until we get burnt out or literally falling ill.

3 Keys to Maintain a Good Work-Life Balance

We talked about 3 keys to maintain a good life balance, especially when we are managing many on-going projects in life: 

Learn to delegate - try to let go and don’t everything yourself. If your mind saying, “Oh he/she doesn’t do it the right way” Remind yourself YOU CANNOT DO EVERYTHING BY YOURSELF!

Ask for help- it can be as simple as carpooling or get your neighbour to pick up hers and your kid, and you make dinner for both families. Or I often ask my friends to bring a dish when it comes to social gatherings so that I have more energy to focus on spending time with people and I have more energy and “appetite” to do more gatherings! 

Schedule ME time - this is an important part of self-care, once again we need to replenish our energy and nourish our body and mind. It may be just a 5 minutes silence of mediation in your day or a 30 mins nature walk in the weekend. This is vital to keep us above the water and more importantly, the clarity and energy to be a BETTER PERSON. 

None of these tips is hard to do, but the question is: Are you willing to do it? Or at least try? 

Are you being seen or heard?

Another common challenge that a lot of “burnt-out” women face is the issue of not being seen or heard. What tends to end up happening is that we will add more projects and agree to do MORE for others so that we hope we will be seen or heard, yet, it only adds on to our to-do list and get us more overwhelmed and under-thrilled. We may even feel resentful and powerless to keep going on with this never-ending story.

If you are the most wonderful, kind and generous mum in the world, what would you do to mother yourself or take better care of you right now?

The key to breaking away from this pattern and the cycle of “Doing More but Feeling Less” is to better our communication, stop the negative internal dialogue and switch to a more positive approach. Think about how to pivot the awful situation to an awesome opportunity. Maybe it is about speaking up, or delegating or asking for help or simply to say no to things, or perhaps it's time focus more on you. 

We covered so many real-life scenarios and positive spins in this interview, I hope you will enjoy this as much as I do.

In my delightful interview with Jan Marie, she shared with us so many great tips on how to HAVE IT ALL without feeling overwhelmed, exhausted and downright resentful. Think of the image of a super-mum, wife, daughter, friend, who has a good career or a thriving business, plus someone who is health-conscious and earth-friendly, well the list goes on. 

Jan has been a licensed therapist for 18 years before become a Transformational Life Coach. She knows how it is like to be in transition first hand. We talked about how she felt she needed a change with her work, although she loved working with her patients, she wanted more freedom to share her work and to support more people. 

Like me, Jan is also a mum and she has 2 little ones. We talked about how common new mums don’t talk about their struggles or past wounds, as we spend all our time trying to do everything right for our babies but often overlook the importance to take better care of our body, mind and soul.

When we are low on our priority list, our self-worth and wellbeing will be greatly affected, but we may not be aware of it until we get burnt out or literally falling ill.

3 Keys to Maintain a Good Work-Life Balance

We talked about 3 keys to maintain a good life balance, especially when we are managing many on-going projects in life: 

Learn to delegate - try to let go and don’t everything yourself. If your mind saying, “Oh he/she doesn’t do it the right way” Remind yourself YOU CANNOT DO EVERYTHING BY YOURSELF!

Ask for help- it can be as simple as carpooling or get your neighbour to pick up hers and your kid, and you make dinner for both families. Or I often ask my friends to bring a dish when it comes to social gatherings so that I have more energy to focus on spending time with people and I have more energy and “appetite” to do more gatherings! 

Schedule ME time - this is an important part of self-care, once again we need to replenish our energy and nourish our body and mind. It may be just a 5 minutes silence of mediation in your day or a 30 mins nature walk in the weekend. This is vital to keep us above the water and more importantly, the clarity and energy to be a BETTER PERSON. 

None of these tips is hard to do, but the question is: Are you willing to do it? Or at least try? 

Are you being seen or heard?

Another common challenge that a lot of “burnt-out” women face is the issue of not being seen or heard. What tends to end up happening is that we will add more projects and agree to do MORE for others so that we hope we will be seen or heard, yet, it only adds on to our to-do list and get us more overwhelmed and under-thrilled. We may even feel resentful and powerless to keep going on with this never-ending story.

If you are the most wonderful, kind and generous mum in the world, what would you do to mother yourself or take better care of you right now?

The key to breaking away from this pattern and the cycle of “Doing More but Feeling Less” is to better our communication, stop the negative internal dialogue and switch to a more positive approach. Think about how to pivot the awful situation to an awesome opportunity. Maybe it is about speaking up, or delegating or asking for help or simply to say no to things, or perhaps it's time focus more on you. 

We covered so many real-life scenarios and positive spins in this interview, I hope you will enjoy this as much as I do.

As I was preparing for a talk about my book "Goddess with Many Faces" and lessons learned from my self-publishing journey, I thought it may be fun and useful to share with my audience some of the myths or false assumptions that I encountered when I started to dive into the world of self-publishing. 

I love learning and when I decided to self-publish my 1st book, I spent months learning about self-publishing and did a ton of research on the latest market trends and technologies. 

In this week's podcast, I can't go into every detail or much of the technical aspects in self-publishing, however, I want to talk about some of the most common false assumptions so that it may clarify a few things for you and hopefully encourage you to publish your first book! 

Here is a short summary of the podcast content:

Is it TRUE or FALSE?

Myth# 1: You need a big budget to self-publish your book 

The reality is, you don't. 

Just like everything else, you can pick and choose where you want to spend most of your money. Not every aspect is equally important, so if you are on a budget, I suggest to spend the money on quality editing services, book cover design and print formatting (or typesetting) if you want a print version of your book. There are many aspects of self-publishing your book can be done by yourself such as uploading to different distribution and sales channels or marketing your book. 

Myth # 2: Don't judge the book by the cover 

Hmm ... yes, you do. Book cover design is one of the most important aspects of getting your book into people's hands.

Why? 

There are a million of books out there if your cover design doesn't look professional or unable to give a sense of what your book is about, the chances are, people won't border to read your description and let alone buy or rent your book. I don't mean you need to spend a fortune on your book cover, but it must look professional and attractive.

Unless you are a designer or willing to learn by spending a ton of hours to create it yourself, its best to get someone else to do it for you. Go and check out some covers in a book store and get a feel of what you might like. There are many book cover designers or companies you can find online that do professional covers at a reasonable price. You may be better off to spend the hours to write or improve your book instead of struggling to design the cover yourself. 

Myth # 3: My best friend who loves to read and has an English degree can edit for me

This is probably a bit of a give away with myth # 1.

This is super important to get your manuscript edited by a professional editor. There are different kinds of editors, some manuscripts may need a developmental editor to help you to improve your overall manuscript. Please note that fiction and non-fiction books have different needs, it is important to find an editor that is experienced and interested to work in your genre. If you don't need a developmental editor, you will still need a copy editor or line editor that help you to go through each line of your manuscript.

Different editors do different things. And so this is a longer conversation but what I want to say here is that editing is key to the quality of your book, so unless your best friend is a professional editor, probably asking your friend to do it is NOT a good idea. 

Myth # 4: It is easier or better to use a publishing service provider. 

This depends on your personality and interests.

As I was preparing for a talk about my book "Goddess with Many Faces" and lessons learned from my self-publishing journey, I thought it may be fun and useful to share with my audience some of the myths or false assumptions that I encountered when I started to dive into the world of self-publishing. 

I love learning and when I decided to self-publish my 1st book, I spent months learning about self-publishing and did a ton of research on the latest market trends and technologies. 

In this week's podcast, I can't go into every detail or much of the technical aspects in self-publishing, however, I want to talk about some of the most common false assumptions so that it may clarify a few things for you and hopefully encourage you to publish your first book! 

Here is a short summary of the podcast content:

Is it TRUE or FALSE?

Myth# 1: You need a big budget to self-publish your book 

The reality is, you don't. 

Just like everything else, you can pick and choose where you want to spend most of your money. Not every aspect is equally important, so if you are on a budget, I suggest to spend the money on quality editing services, book cover design and print formatting (or typesetting) if you want a print version of your book. There are many aspects of self-publishing your book can be done by yourself such as uploading to different distribution and sales channels or marketing your book. 

Myth # 2: Don't judge the book by the cover 

Hmm ... yes, you do. Book cover design is one of the most important aspects of getting your book into people's hands.

Why? 

There are a million of books out there if your cover design doesn't look professional or unable to give a sense of what your book is about, the chances are, people won't border to read your description and let alone buy or rent your book. I don't mean you need to spend a fortune on your book cover, but it must look professional and attractive.

Unless you are a designer or willing to learn by spending a ton of hours to create it yourself, its best to get someone else to do it for you. Go and check out some covers in a book store and get a feel of what you might like. There are many book cover designers or companies you can find online that do professional covers at a reasonable price. You may be better off to spend the hours to write or improve your book instead of struggling to design the cover yourself. 

Myth # 3: My best friend who loves to read and has an English degree can edit for me

This is probably a bit of a give away with myth # 1.

This is super important to get your manuscript edited by a professional editor. There are different kinds of editors, some manuscripts may need a developmental editor to help you to improve your overall manuscript. Please note that fiction and non-fiction books have different needs, it is important to find an editor that is experienced and interested to work in your genre. If you don't need a developmental editor, you will still need a copy editor or line editor that help you to go through each line of your manuscript.

Different editors do different things. And so this is a longer conversation but what I want to say here is that editing is key to the quality of your book, so unless your best friend is a professional editor, probably asking your friend to do it is NOT a good idea. 

Myth # 4: It is easier or better to use a publishing service provider. 

This depends on your personality and interests.