Welcome!

📣This is a longgg episode, so if you’ve found yourself here thank you for opening your mind, your heart and yourself to my personal perspectives from me working through figuring out what feels good to me in my life and where I am at currently.🌺

Sooo, let’s Get Into It!

What I am saying in this episode is relative: it is not something to be pulled apart and dissected because things never look as they first did after we over-compartmentalize life situations. Life is not a math problem to organize…but I’m already digressing 😂🫠

🧠….I feel this is why we often struggle understanding other people because we take situations and set it aside separately and ask “how could they ‘do that’… why would they ‘do that’… what in the world are they ‘thinking’?…”

📊Though when we see people making their own decisions, we are not seeing what is effecting that person that day, what their financial situation is and how they’re processing it or if they’re connecting it to self-worth, if someone in their family just passed and they’re emotionally devastated, if there’s shame or trauma in the losses or anything else in the VAST possibilities of what happens on this wild planet Earth.🌍

Judging the Unopened Books.

It’s like reading the last page of a book and expecting to understand the entire story in between, and… we most likely cannot unless we have some sort of incredible knowledge of wealth and memory or intuitive book reading skill we’ve mastered even though no information was provided…

So why do we do the same with humans when we see someone freaking out at a grocery store, or arguing with a bank teller in public? Why do we think watching someone else’s behavior we would NEVER act the same and man! We just do NOT understand!

Our Strong Emotions are Reallyyyy Towards Ourselves 👀😳😤

… I am sure you can think of a situation where your emotions were not in proportion to the situation happening: whether that was caring too little about certain outcomes, or caring too much about the outcomes. (I can pull up at least 5 recent situations this week from myy own memories🙃).

These are great learning opportunities to gain information about ourself— the things that bother us most about other people are things we struggle with ourselves in some form or another. So we ask, the “why are they…how could they…” questions feigning ignorance (our ego) and it’s partially true- we are ignorant because if we understood we’d be changing ourselves to be better and not asking about somebody else’s life and their transgressions.

Another opportunity, a different trail you can take is when the “why do they…. how could they….” or the “I would never… I just don’t understand…. it doesn’t make any sense…. there’s no reason for it…” emotions and statements come up, recognize you are REALLY talking about yourself. Let that sink in, that is a big Ego vail drop.🔪

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The Steps Beyond…

The steps beyond give you power over yourself, over your ego when you learn the Ego (part of the brain) lies to us that’s why this revelation is so important; if you don’t realize you are talking about yourself truly and how you don’t understand why it is you do everything YOU do and the way YOU do it, you certainly question and find other humans absolutely mysterious because you understand them as well (or as little) as you understand yourself.

We can only meet people as far as we have met ourselves. And we only give as much grace, respect, trust etc to others that we give to ourselves first.

When judgements towards others come up, don’t worry or shame yourself because they will! We are imperfect-perfect beings, when you say “I don’t know why they do drugs, there’s no reason for it…” the questions and reflections that need to come along after is… ”what am I numbing myself with lately? When am I tuning out to life and my feelings? What feelings from the past, what perspectives of the future, or what experiences currently existing in my body am I avoiding? What parts of MY body am I rejecting and denying?”

Don’t be scared to get honest …

with yourself because this is where the real magic happens🪄 when you’re honest with yourself about the kind of life you want to live, and how you’d really like to change it or see it in the future. You have the opportunity to create any life you want so make decisions that bring you closer to how you’d like your life to be.

Thank you for being here!🌻

Ashley Reilly

Get full access to Ashley Reilly's: The Accountabilityy Hour at daydreamslowlyy.substack.com/subscribe