Gather 'round the speakers, the Quaranteam is ready to deliver their sermon! And so it was written that Kristen would proclaim to the listeners the tell tale signs of RT, AKA Religious Trauma. While some have emerged from a church-centered childhood much, much worse off than others (we won't get into the truly criminal), it's the CEO's humble opinion that there are certainly some common repercussions of good 'ole fashioned adolescent slut-shaming that creep far into adulthood. She first recounts her own tale of a long past sneaky-link turned internal battleground which resulted in fleeing the scene, only to return the very next night with stronger resolve to see the situation through. To put it simply, Kristen's first commandment of RT: WE FEEL GUILTY BUT WE ARE HORNY. AMEN!

This sparks Lume to recall a situation with a past lover where at the time he was entirely confused, though in hindsight perhaps some flippy floppy behavior should have been a stronger sign of some deeply buried RT? Tune in for the full juicy details including some peak Doctor Jekyll / Mr Hyde, sexting one minute to breaking up the next, plot lines.

Shoutout to Beyoncé and the hit “Church Girls” which might be the official companion song to this week's episode. Finally, the crew close out the RT discussion with a timely storytime: we don’t usually get closure after f*cked situations (pun intended), but when one does, it certainly is satisfying.

QQH: Social media is buzzing on a bunch of hot topics. First, Kristen breaks down a new TikTok interview dating trend that her cohost just cannot get behind. Next, Lume takes a second to cook on Golden State Warrior Draymond Green's recent "work spat". Lastly, is it really that crazy to order $28.00 of fast food?