Quarantings

Here ye, here ye, the Quaranteam has come together to decree the biggest issues in this (dating) world as we go into 2023. Have we truly adjusted back from our 'Rona lives to the new normal? Is the term 'quiet quitting' ridiculous or super ridiculous? Did work from home kill the the work friends vibe forever? Lume wants to know the answer to a simple question, "why do women like to be treated badly?" The CEO has a few thoughts... She also believes that most straight men do not like women(trigger warning). This leads to a chat about women claiming that they have an issue with having platonic male friends. Is the friendzone real or nah?

QQH (34:19): First up is a "Watcha Watching" as Kristen goes over both the movie "Amsterdam' (on HBO Max/Xfinity) and the show "Chloe" on Amazon Prime. Then Lume goes OFF about a particular flying pet peeve he cannot stand. The Tory Lanez/Meg the Stallion trial has begun and there are already some pretty intriguing revelations. Brittney Griner is finally released from the Russian gulag and back in America but somebody wants to make sure the real crime is highlighted. Lastly the CEO has an issue with a with self publishing haters that leads to a recommendation on resumes that no one will be shocked by.

This week, “Watcha Watching” is taking over! For the main story tonight, the CEO gushes on the FIFA World Cup, including why ‘futbol’ deserves more respect in the US, addressing various complaints people have about it (cue “the flop”), and even a few of her own complaints of the beloved sport (ahem, corruption, ahem). Is soccer-fan-culture unmatched? Was the US showing in this year’s World Cup encouraging or embarrassing?

Then, of course, know that if you haven’t heard from Lume lately it is for good reason. He has been basking in the glow of his Michigan Wolverines football team winning (another) B1G championship and he’s here to let everybody know it!

Finally (and perhaps most intriguingly), Kristen introduces us all to an up and coming style of porn that must be heard to be believed. What is audio porn? Does it really feel more real? Why might one give it a try? There is no doubt in Kristen’s mind that switching up the material is a breath of fresh air for one and for all, but as usual for the ladies in particular. She breaks down the categories available, and gives a detailed description of the scenarios in the few stories she’s sampled so far. Will we hear Kristen herself narrating in the future? Can she convince the resident simp that this might be a great new stress reliever? Lastly, the entertainment entrepenuer gives a review on the Netflix show "1899".

A change up for the season 2 finale- the team goes all the way outside for their first joint "research trip" to Fargo, ND! In part one of this episode, they welcome the star of "The Hungry Road" YouTube channel, Eric Weaver aka @edweave95, for an after-bar “emergency” recording session while on the trip itself. After admitting the great lengths gone toward coaxing the CEO away from MPLS city limits, they get into the pressing questions…

Does buying someone a drink buy you time to converse, and if so how much time? What is worse; A 5 that acts like a 10 or a 10 that acts like they are a 5? Needless to say there is a bit of disagreement on these controversial topics.

Then, after sending Lume to the drunk tank, the Quaranteam returns for part 2 to rehash what actually occurred out in Fargo. After a long drive and dinner, Lume attempts to show off what downtown Fargo has to offer. From the taking a lap to the joys being in a place where you don't know anyone, this trip was key research. Kristen finally broke a very particular curse. Bottle service etiquette was questionable at best all weekend long including a wingman attempt gone awry.

(Special shoutout to District 64 for taking care of the Quarantings Crew all weekend)

The team is back and after a short hiatus and with everything that has been going on they got a lot to catch up on in the world! First, Kristen goes over a recent venture to degenerate city and a big (accidental) gambling win. Then, Lume goes over all that is the shit show which is the Brooklyn Nets and his "favorite" player Kyrie Irving.(9:10)

Social media darling Overtime Elite has a new deal that has the CEO hype. (16:30) The World Cup is coming up in Qatar and they are enforcing some rules that are simply not Quaranteam approved...

If someone donates an organ to save your life, is going to a big game for your alma matter a reasonable excuse to skip your savior's wedding? (no spoiler should be needed here) Twitter has become an even more crazy place as Elon Musk has taken over, but somebody is ready to stick it out for a blue check.

Of course there was no way that the crew could go another week without breaking down the newest music from Kristen's man Drake as they discuss the new album with 21 Savage "Her loss". (33:30)

The recent reveal that the nice guy James Corden might not be so nice sparks another PSA from Kristen about the persona one presents. Is asking someone what your most controversial opinion is as a dating app question, smart or foolish? Can't go a week without talking about a TikTok trend, this week is how should a guy wear a hat? No agreements were made during this discussion.

Finally the long awaited Quarantings review of HBO Max's "House of the Dragon" as promised!! (51:35)

New opening segment alert as Lume lays down on the therapy couch for a quick sesh. How long before a dry spell rage becomes zombie brain haze?

The main topic tonight is brought to you by Prince Petty aka Lumenatorgv. Starting from the "read receipts game" the convo delves into the question of the most petty act committed by an ex against the Quaranteam?…. Or maybe…. Perpetrated BY them!? Sending the final "notes app" length text before cutting somebody off- top tier petty or just a bad idea? There is plenty of petty in the world and the team highlights some of the best stories they have ever heard.

QQH(43:40): Twitter topic of the week- if a man takes you on a date to a sporting event… in the cheap seats, would you cuff or drop? Kristen gives Lume a history lesson on Shania Twain’s unbelievable dating history. Lastly, airdropping nudes in public spots… the move or just plain wild?

Gather 'round the speakers, the Quaranteam is ready to deliver their sermon! And so it was written that Kristen would proclaim to the listeners the tell tale signs of RT, AKA Religious Trauma. While some have emerged from a church-centered childhood much, much worse off than others (we won't get into the truly criminal), it's the CEO's humble opinion that there are certainly some common repercussions of good 'ole fashioned adolescent slut-shaming that creep far into adulthood. She first recounts her own tale of a long past sneaky-link turned internal battleground which resulted in fleeing the scene, only to return the very next night with stronger resolve to see the situation through. To put it simply, Kristen's first commandment of RT: WE FEEL GUILTY BUT WE ARE HORNY. AMEN!

This sparks Lume to recall a situation with a past lover where at the time he was entirely confused, though in hindsight perhaps some flippy floppy behavior should have been a stronger sign of some deeply buried RT? Tune in for the full juicy details including some peak Doctor Jekyll / Mr Hyde, sexting one minute to breaking up the next, plot lines.

Shoutout to Beyoncé and the hit “Church Girls” which might be the official companion song to this week's episode. Finally, the crew close out the RT discussion with a timely storytime: we don’t usually get closure after f*cked situations (pun intended), but when one does, it certainly is satisfying.

QQH: Social media is buzzing on a bunch of hot topics. First, Kristen breaks down a new TikTok interview dating trend that her cohost just cannot get behind. Next, Lume takes a second to cook on Golden State Warrior Draymond Green's recent "work spat". Lastly, is it really that crazy to order $28.00 of fast food?

Took a long time but the team is finally taking their talents to the altar! This week is all about weddings, more specifically how to handle them as a single attendee. After Kristen delivers a brief disclaimer on her general distaste for the venture as a whole (you won’t catch her in a white dress), the crew gets into the matter of whether asking somebody to be your wedding date as a FIRST date is a vibe or disaster in the making. Lume has 3 "rules” to determine whether he would buy in to this bold move.

”Wedding Crashers”, unrealistic bro comedy of the early 2000’s or tried and true single life code book? Fact or myth that going to a wedding solo dolo is ideal? Better to know everyone there or be relegated to the double digit tables? What difference does overall +\- 100 guests make? Speaking of legends, is the notion that everyone looks their best at a wedding good or bad for the dating world? All this talk leads to an aside about the statement, “good on paper"… and Lume is triggered. Is it good enough if somebody tries to set you up just because “you’re both single”?

QQH(42:35): Something is most certainly in the air and the Quaranteam is here to call it out. First up, a bitter old man that is desecrating the grave of his ex-wife...over 30 years later! Next, they say bad things come in 3's and the most recent three divorcees have everyone shocked… (one particularly close to Lume) Lastly, the listeners have been feeding Kristen with great stories of dating app exploits, and this week a cancelled first date results in a very, sad, boy.

Seems like everyone in Lume's life (CEO included) is driving him mad to the point of a good ole fashioned story rant. First is an oddly innocent DM slide leading to all sorts of nonsense during a night out. While the team doesn't promote homewrecking, when it becomes so sloppy and in your face one can only go mad. PSA to the people, if it is not History Week don't ask Lume for the plan he ain't got it. He also can't seem to understand why people's significant others don't seem to be even slightly interested in trying to make nice with their bae's BFFs? Speaking of bae's, support for them is always high on the Quaranteam but make sure you aren't blocking because that will become a problem!

All of the Luminator's ranting leads Kristen to letting somebody know that she doesn't like to beef with women, but if you do dumb things don't expect a kind response. Finally, it seems that the hosts may have started the process of switching personalities as we approach the end of Season 2!

QQH (35:09) : Kristen had no clue that a pod she listened to years ago would come back around when hearing about the release of Adnan Syed. Is Lume's beloved Tom Brady on thin ice? Sounds like it based on recent comments from his wife, Giselle. Lastly, the crew goes in on all that is the Adam Levine "thing"?

The team is back and this week is all about them telling us how they really feel! An admission from the CEO leads to a hookup story time with an unexpected ending. Lume truly enjoys going to weddings but there is one question he simply cannot stand any longer while attending (Spoiler alert it starts with “Where is” and ends with “your girlfriend”). How does one deal with marriage-minded family members? Is it an insult or compliment to receive the “if we’re both still single when we turn 40” proposition? Lume’s taking no prisoners this week and as per usual the CEO is ready to co-sign choosing violence.

"Hope you doing well" birthday sneak- attack, yay or nay? Somebody on the Quaranteam may have a habit of pulling this off... Lastly, Kristen ends the episode with a PSA about shooting your shot with her via bringing up the podcast, which begs the question: could the crew date somebody who doesn't listen?

QQH (41:31): “Watcha Watching” as Kristen breaks down her early impressions of HBO's "House of the Dragon". Next, Lume reports on the newest craze sweeping MLB stadiums, baseball sex!? This spills into talk of one of the most questionable “missed connections” in show history.

Show starts hot as CEO had been saving a TikTok audio clip for on-wax playback… that needless to say has earned a full on roast by the squad. Then, in keeping up with the ‘grilling’ mood, the “chill girl” clip from the latest Red Flags episode (#84) has triggered some men in the comments. Final life update for the squad is a come back around that was very unsuccessful due to a 9 month hiatus…

Kristen’s new roommate is already impressing the Quaranteam with her podcast research by providing this week’s Riddle Me This. (12:32) First off, how long after a sleepover is too long to stay around? One single solitary night after a first date on which a great picture was taken on a rooftop, how out of pocket is it to upload said photo to your dating app profile less than 24 hours later?! Despite a valiant effort, the team doesn’t have much justification for the tomfoolery of this story. This leads to a PSA about how to handle fire pics taken by yours truly, the CEO of course. If you see a dating app notification come up on your date’s phone at dinner, is that a concern? Speaking of phone etiquette, we cool with the people that put there phone upside down or out of view?

QQH(43:20) Another Lume sports update as he starts with some very stern words for Brooklyn Nets star Kevin Durant. College football is returning and the student athletes ability to get paid via NIL is producing some pretty entertaining content. Lastly, a man who decides to flick (flip?) off another driver becomes the latest one to “fuck around and find out”!