Quarantings

Lume has returned from some overseas research in the motherland Uganda and he has plenty to tell! After getting over the sadness of vacation being done, the crew starts with an admission that the Luminator may in fact be a lot more like the CEO on the dating apps when he's not in America. This leads to a conversation about the levels of appreciation for how aggressive someone is when pursuing you. Is it easier or more difficult to both enjoy a vacation and see what is out there when single? Coming out of retirement has somebody feeling very awkward when it comes to flirting, causing Kristen to put a recent situation on wax! A breakdown on the Uganda nightlife and how going out for 7 days in a row is not as tall a task as it sounds. Also how the vibes differ from the usual spots they usually hit in MN.

QQH (29:11): Nothing quick about the Quick Hits this week as the Quaranteam goes back to their favorite island, FBoy Island that is! Season two is complete and it needs a review from the best podcast you'll here today. How does this cast compare to Season 1? Was Tamaris right or wrong for taking the money? (spoiler alert, you all know Kristen's opinion) Are they actually setting up for an FGirl Island? All this and more about the HBO Max original show, so make sure you watch before listening!!!

What’s that sneaking up behind you, lurking in the dark?? It’s not monsters, ghouls, or goblins, it's the horrific hookup stories of the past! First up, the crew regale a horrific TikTok-provided scenario involving shrinkage, feces, a dog, and parents. This leads to a brainstorm on what to do in the dreaded moment when somebody walks in on you gettin’ to the business. Does the identity of the culprit make all the difference? (Spoiler alert- OF COURSE). Should you ‘fess up? Play dead? Pull out the trusty book of excuses? Lume tells his own story of a similar situation in which it seems his plans went a little awry. As a great philosopher/CEO once said, "Nobody likes the dreaded bloodbath scenario". Kristen breaks down her personal do’s and don’ts when it comes to risk, disclosure, and getting over the embarrassment of this common, yet less than ideal situation, in the funniest way possible.

Clearly the Quaranteam grew up different as they share their history of sneaking into a hook ups place who lives with the ‘rents. Shoutout MinneSNOWta, ALWAYS making things more difficult. Lastly, If your significant other was asked who their hall pass was and they responded "My ex", is that a dealbreaker or just a heartbreaker?

QQH (39:30): First, a "Watcha Watching" as Kristen breaks down the new Neil Patrick Harris show on Netflix called "Uncoupled". Then some breaking news from Lume regarding one of the Quaranteam's favorite drinks. Is washing your FEET in an airport bathroom as crazy as it sounds? Then the rabbit hole that is "RushTok" is revealed in the only way the crew knows how, with a lot of laughs.

Here’s an offer ya can’t refuse, Quarantings is back, back, BACK with the third installment of everyone’s favorite never-ending list of REDDDDDD FLAGSSSSS!!!! Lume jumps right into it with another home decor topic (check out parts 1 and 2 episode 29 and 49) this time directed squarely at the ladies, and by miracle of miracles the CEO hops in with the co-sign. Next up, WHAT ARE THOSE!? Kristen brings the bullets on dusty footwear. Then, the crew debate musical taste and if that’s truly a flag, AKA whether Kristen could date a Drake hater. Guys who want a “chill girl”, red alert or cool as a cucumber? Love languages in the dating app bio, a true act of service or just another a “physical touch” euphemism? What’s the worse text flag, “K” or “sure”? Lastly a quick PSA- don’t talk shit on (make fun of) your partner for social clout!

QQH: Whatchu watchin’: Nikki Glazer’s new HBO Max Comedy Special- “Good Clean Filth”. The bizarrely obvious hush money scandal of WWE’s Vince McMahon. A rant on clothes shopping, sizing, and Kristen’s trials and tribulations with online retail.

Another week another episode of the best podcast ya heard today! The team kicks things off with everyone’s latest favorite internet hypothetical: “She’s a 10 but…” Can Lume accept a flat-earther?! How many points is a boat worth?? Is Snapchat a legit form of communication? Is there a difference between a simple phone block vs a full on embargo aka phone, text, socials, Xbox live (smh)!?! Next, Kristen gives a long-time-coming update on a roster mainstay. No spoilers here, but let’s just say the CEO ain’t holding back as we approach her birthday trade deadline.

Then, the crew get all the way into it debating what has apparently been a recent YouTuber hot topic, are 90% of men unattractive? Whether true or untrue, are men and/or women too shallow these days? Both Kristen and Lume’s takes my surprise you. A full circle moment remixed as the show closes with more “He’s a 10 but…” Hardcore gamers? Inexperienced men? Non-sports fans? We love a hypothetical this time of year!

QQH (45:00): Lume gets things started with a storytime of a fake Cricket league and some Russian gamblers (yes this is real), which spirals into a sidebar to explain the CEO beloved concept of a “wake and cash”. More story time as Kristen questions whether one bride should proceed with festivities after a positive COVID test. Lastly, it’s a little late but the Quaranteam could NOT let Ex-Minnesota Viking Matt Birk’s anti-abortion/anti… women having careers (!?!?!?!?) slide.

Is there a problem with gold diggers? Why do men breakup before Valentine's Day and then make up after? Topics like these can only mean one thing; the Quaranteam has stumbled back into some Clubhouse rooms. Situationships, and whether they are a goal, have Lume a little confused and triggered. Is there a fundamental difference between when a man cheats versus when a woman does? Does being a "ride or die" benefit both parties in a toxic relationship? These very sticky conversations lead the crew to talk about the recent closure of a Minneapolis "hotspot" with a bit a problematic name.

Are men scared to approach beautiful women? Another Luminator trigger warning. Couldn't go the whole episode without hitting the patriarchy; Why are broke women are more accepted than broke men? This episode closes out with dueling mini rants about the dating struggles of successful women, and the men who do and do not like “tradition”.

QQH (44:39): The CEO's favorites takeover this week's Quick Hits as first up for discussion is the undying relationship of Tristan Thompson and Khloe Kardashian. Another baby on the way, and another video of him partying with women that aren't her. Meanwhile her sister went and got her All NBA boyfriend Devin Booker back, which will cost Lume some coin. Lamar Odom is apparently due to fight “fake drake”, and what is up with the celebrity boxing craze anyways? Lastly, as it continues to swoop up golfers from the PGA left and right, is the LIV tour really that bad?

Off to the races this week as the CEO brings the immediate flamethrower for one of her latest Hinge matches- a very smart man who left a blatant insult as a comment when he swiped right! We do love a good story time this time of year!

Then, this week the Team gets into the nitty gritty of a recent night out at one of their favorite downtown haunts. When a friend asks you if somebody is attractive, how do you (should you) respond? Lume thinks the math ain’t mathin’ when it comes to Kristen’s baddie-alert senses. Meanwhile, Kristen is convinced that meeting men while out on the town is becoming a laughable expectation, but not for the reasons you might think. Then, is it difficult to show and/or be perceived as your true self in a bar/club setting? The most disputed 'shot of the week' in the history of the show occurs. The devil’s juice takes the wheel in this absolute classic episode you do not want to miss!

QQH(41:53) A discussion about NY Jets QB Zach Wilson's recent breakup leads to Kristen breaking down some Utah TikTok mom drama. Runner up of the week is to whoever is running the Radio Shack verified twitter because they have been bringing all the jokes. Unfortunately(?) Elon Musk’s failed bid at buying Twitter is anything but funny. Finally a last second "Watcha Watching" on the show "The Chestnut Man" on Netflix.

They got their red solo cups, beer pongs, and more as the crew returns to campus to relive the college days! While life in HS (episode 70) was not all roses and ragers, college started out a lot more exciting for Lume. From technical difficulties in orientation to slow "caking" all the way up to Welcome Week; the birth of the resident simp was one for the books. Also, is striking up a relationship with your new roommate’s old flame a faux pas or no? Meanwhile, the CEO had only one main requirement when it came to breaking free of catholic school- It’s no shock to anyone Kristen loves a good ole fashioned “hoe phase”! After the most ideal new-roomie interview ever, the "Queens of the Penthouse" were born and the campus wasn't ready. Then a great debate: Who is less clean in college, men or women? Cast your votes and stay tuned or part 2…

QQH: You were warned and it is time. This "Watcha Watching" is all about the epic Disney plus saga "Obi-Wan". Find out how Kristen somehow despises great portions of the show yet agrees with Lume on the overall rating…? Why are the last two episodes so much better than the first four? It’s an epic SPOILER filled review.

Not even an injury is stopping the crew from dropping another episode for the people! First the CEO breaks down how hitting two of their favorite Minneapolis hot spots caused a "misstep" aka ankle sprain. Adding insult to injury, the roster officially became smaller by one as somebody got cut! When you end up out at a place where someone you previously got with is there, what is the proper etiquette to make it known that you are trying to rekindle "the spark"? After coming back to the game, Lume's heater seems to be simmering down a bit. In his come back to Earth moment, a reminder (or PSA if you will) about what is the difference is between the podcast and real life. Open relationships, is the team here for them or not? The answers may surprise you...and of course Kristen can't help but take this topic in a direction that is a little wild.

QQH(41:11): Kristen discusses the TikTok phenomena that is "Coop and Roof". Then Lume has some more for the enigma that is Brooklyn Nets star Kyrie Irving. The College World Series plays host to a competition that has the Quaranteam extremely impressed. Lastly, Airbnb is permanently eliminating an option that doesn't sound like what is best for business.

A quick week off, and the team is back to bring you a new installment of Kristen's favorite tried and true series… Riddle Me This! Apparently the CEO has been holding back the tea as this saga unfolded in real time, but finally the story of the random roommate (that somehow became two) can be released. As usual, the drama is both cringeworthy and hindsight-hilarious.

First things first, are random roommates the vibe or no? What are the pros and cons of living with a couple when you are single? (spoiler, mostly cons). Is there any successful way to go about a roommate interview (and is it any different than the strategy on a first date)? And of course, the main event, what happened when the CEO was thrust into the role of arbitrator amid cheating allegations?!? Enough awkward moments for a lifetime, this just has to be heard!

QQH: (40:39) First up, Kristen’s latest "Watcha Watching”; New HBO hit show/remake, "The Time Traveler's Wife". Then, an LSPN update as a celebration of the NBA playoffs conclusion leads to a #freefakeKlay rally cry. More important on the CEO’s mind, are the Currys really swingers? Some new (alleged) evidence suggests it might be true. Finally, no possible way to skip a discussion on Drake's newest album, "Honestly, Nevermind".

Everybody loves to say "I told you so” and this week Kristen is shouting it from the rooftops as Lume finally comes clean...MJ fax is in… he’s unretired! After months of giving up the game of dating (episode 53), a series of fortunate events has led to the only decision possible, send the fax and commence a summer heater! From the date that started defrosting his iced-over heart, to back to back weekends full of late night debauchery (S/O MPLS Ties), this story is definitely one for the books. Threesome offers, girl fights, and good ole fashioned crushes, we’ve got it all this week on the best pod ya heard today. Kristen even provides an epiphany on the conspiracy of Lume’s dating app woes. Cut us a check before we spill your bullshit, Tinder!

QQH: First up, "Watcha Watching" as the CEO shocks everyone by gushing over the new summer blockbuster "Top Gun: Maverick". Then, they close out the show discussing the recent breakup of NFL All-Pro TE Travis Kelce and his gf over his (alleged) insistence on splitting alllllll the bills 50/50…. The Quaranteam’s opinion? In short, L. O. L.