Quarantings

It’s been awhile since there was a good ole fashioned soap box rant from the Quaranteam, so let’s indulge shall we? Although being single during a pandemic can be less than ideal, the crew is here to clear things up! All love to power couples, but this week is about making sure the singles get their proper respect.

First up, the crew addresses vacation etiquette as the (insert odd number here) wheel. How grown is too grown to “shack up" with others during trips? Is Kristen just impossible when it comes to sharing, or is she on to something when it comes to her “no more sardines” mantra? Next, a brief history of “grind” culture leads to a manifesto on the value of restful, easygoing singledom. Singles, you are not obligated to justify your schedule! Busy-ness is not a virtue and being child free is not a personality flaw! Listen, we’re all for investing in the couples and families around us, but don’t forget that having time, space, and money all to yourself can totally be a vibe. Finally, a shoutout to both the mom's and single women fighting the uphill battle against the patriarchy, Lume announces his stance on dating women with children, and the CEO advises men on baby related DM comments.

QQH(32:35): Back with some "Watcha Watching" this week. Lume goes back to the superhero well again, talking "Peacemaker" starring John Cena on HBO Max. Kristen dishes on "Inventing Anna" on Netflix. In, the world of sports, the team finds the funny in an NFL player getting suspended for gambling $1500. Lastly, a discussion on how free speech has changed lately, especially on college campuses.

Back with the best podcast you heard today and more importantly, back from vacation! Time for the play by play of the recent travels of the Quaranteam. First up, Lume aka Mr. Retired gets *gasps* “flew’d out”?!?!? Kristen WAS confident that his trip would lead to the MJ comeback end of retirement announcement… but let’s just say the assignment may have been misunderstood. This might be the most classic comedy of errors story time yet. Sidebar, is the vacation actually good if you find yourself with ample time to swipe right?

Then, the famed "Mexico wedding” has finally occurred, and here we go the CEO brought all the chaos back from paradise (19:00). Though some may be disappointed in Kristen leaving all potential wedding dates at home, ultimately the choice to solo dolo this trip paid off for the content in both sexy and utterly tragic (read: hilarious) ways. We all love some good hydration this time of year! Lastly, after some consideration, the shot of the week goes out to the newlyweds!!!

QQH (41:54): A debate of wired vs Bluetooth headphones leads into wondering how much TikTok is messing with the music industry. Next let’s delve into the world of sports, Quarantings style. Is Jalen Ramsey a legend for using Instagram to get in the heads of his opponents by sliding in their S/O's DMs? Then, a (alleged) story about how Stefon Diggs attempted to commit the "double dip" on Valentine's Day! Lastly, Kristen finally gives her review of HBO Max's "Sex in the City" reboot.

The best podcast ya heard today takes on the full course meal of dating food habits. First off is the classic question, do women eat on dates, especially date number 1? Is going chow town on, for example, a saucy chicken wing feast somehow... hot? Lume puts his take on wax (just do not use a fork and knife for pizza in his presence if you know what's good for you). Is dinner as the first date still the move? Is it even a good date in general? Kristen highlights her love for the coffee date and why it is so ideal. It is 2022 and people really have, "Cook for me", in their dating profiles. Why? How does the crew feel about the "cook together" date? Sweet or salty? Should you be sharing food with anybody but Bae? (We all know Kristen's feelings on sharing...) Can't get through an episode without a CEO PSA: if you invite a woman over for dinner but don't have pots, pans, and a plan, DON'T! The crew does not see eye to eye when it comes to late night snacking. Is there a line where a lack of food compatibility becomes a relationship non-starter? Another PSA- gym rats, we're proud of you, but we can't rock with you #seeyouatthebar

QQH(40:09): The Quarantings Quick Hits are back this week and start out with some Watcha Watching recommendations. First the team discusses the new hit documentary, "The Tinder Swindler" and let's just say they have some thoughts. Next up is "Book of Boba Fett" aka just some nerd out time for Lume. (Spoilers alert... even though let's be honest you should have watched it by now) The Quaranteam's resident Michigan fan gives an official statement regarding the recent incident versus Wisconsin. Lastly, they discuss Aaron Rodgers latest chance to "hold the L".

Season two is running full speed, and its time to revisit some key lessons from SZN 1 (Ep 32). Cuffing season is almost over and all y’all that don’t make the cut for a summer relationship need to evaluate your ROSTER prospects (so says the CEO). How often should communication happen and how long can there be crickets before they falling off the lineup? If you’re stuck on the bench, can you finesse up to a captain position? How does one make sure that they don't catch feelings in a FWB situation? Is the tale as old as time “make him wait” relationship myth busted or iron clad? Are marriage-daters and roster-managers REALLY looking for the same thing in a partner? (No). A story time regarding a situationship argument in the morning turning sexy by demon hours, and then Kristen ends the segment on a movie inspired mini-rant about how you should never let your pride get in the way of the moola.

No quick hits this week as Lume is still struggling with Tom Brady's recent retirement. Kristen can be found hammered on the beach in Mexico. Tune in next week!

… The trendy, Pete Davidson inspired "skinny punk". The girl who "doesn't get along with other girls". A promising newcomer who’s recently exploded onto the dating scene, the “CRYPTO BRO”. "Mean girls"; a throwback movie stereotype, or something more? The Lume dubbed, “Ghost Hunter” (obsessed with your ex much?) And of course… ever classic… “The Athlete”….

Welcome back to Quarantings for what is sure to be just the first installment of a beloved series on dating types of 2022. Is it true that women are genuinely attracted to the idea of being the hotter partner? Or is it the idea of a fixer upper that lights that spark? Are some women simply just too attractive to make female friends? A side note, does Lume have beef with really hot women? Could Lume land a ride or die from jail? Hot takes galore this week, and maybe a personal shot or two.

QQH (36:50): A "Watcha Watching" heavy quick hits this week. The CEO has a rare scary show suggestion as she shouts out "Archive 81" on Netflix. Then the crew gives their picks for the big game aka the Super Bowl! (Check episode 15 for more Super Bowl dating talk) Is anybody watching the Winter Olympics right now? After a quick RIP to a prime location shuttering the doors in downtown Minneapolis, Kristen closes out the show bringing up the Tom Brady of dads (triggering Lume).

The show kicks off discussing joint dating app profiles and the classic (now defunct) “Tinder Social”. The Quaranteam is putting on their Mythbusters caps and looking to verify dating myths this week! (4:25) Is it for real that if he has big feet…? If you are a great dancer does that mean you are great moving your hips for…? Are women the only ones that actually have free drinks purchased for them? Lume tells a story about a woman he met in Vegas who was on her way to score $20K for "nothing" (she says). Kristen claims the role of "Captain Save-a-Hoe” lives in dreamland, fact or fiction? Then the CEO closes out with very hot take on the purpose of dating that she couldn't wait to put on wax!

QQH(41:08): First up, some overdue Watcha Watching as Kristen describes her enjoyment of the latest Matrix installment. Trust Lume to find the funny in an NFL lawsuit when everyone’s classic cringe story comes to life: texting the wrong person. He also says his official goodbye to the hero, legend, and Michigan man, TB12. Then the CEO closes out the show with a mini rant about Minnie Mouse...and the Green M&M. (we still love Disney though!)

Finally free from Omarion and armed with Lume's latest and greatest state of the art sound effects panel, the Quaranteam is back with a pop-the-trunk style episode! Doesn't everyone pointedly reevaluate and take stock of their life in the aftermath of being down for the count for several weeks? Orrrrr just Kristen? Get ready for some revelations.

Sometimes even the CEO herself gets triggered by the new relationships popping up left and right during cuffing szn. How does one handle being single and staying sane during winter? How's the crew's "more swiping/less swiping" new year's resolutions going? What the hell is a "typical Twin Cities guy", and why is Kristen not feeling it? Are social media users vs non-users incompatible dating groups? Is Lume warranted in his premonition that Kristen's on a path to getting caught up in 2022? Newsflash, when someone says "it's fine", IT AIN'T FINE.

QQH(40:12): Big CEO energy for the quick hits this week, starting with a Brittany Renner rant that is Quaranteam approved. Then Kristen takes Lume down the rabbit hole that is "West Elm Caleb".

Much to Lume's chagrin, this week the Quaranteam once again treks deep into the sex weeds for the latest edition of Riddle Me This! The big question: average sex, teach or toss?

Do "C's and D's get degrees", as the kids say? How much (or little) does overall attractiveness factor in? How long should you stick with a hottie who's never heard the word effort? Kristen argues separate categories for those that can't be bothered vs skill-level-rookie. Lume argues further breakdown for laziness vs hot-and-knows-it laziness.

If you elect to teach, is there an age cutoff? Lume declares that 40 is the new 25. Perhaps most importantly, what makes an A+ good time? Personal preferences aside (who the hell is still balking at post-coital makeouts?!), Kristen asserts that rhythm and flow might top the charts. Lume goes story time of losing his V-Card and follows up with reminiscing on when he was a bad kisser, on wax! They close out with some sexting tips from the CEO herself. Spoiler alert: don't skip the appetizers.

QQH (50:09): Back and so much to discuss! First up a shoutout to the newly free Britney Spears and her recent posts showing just how free she is. Then the crew breaks down Kanye West and Julia Fox's "situationship"?! Antonio Brown has become a new verb and Lume can't laugh at it enough. Lastly, when hot sauce and sexy time mix... or maybe when they don't.

New Year, new resolutions! The Quaranteam is back with their annual dating resolutions for 2022. After reviewing their successes and failures from last year (episode 13, go check it out!), they jump right into what they hope to accomplish in the new year. Can Kristen cold-turkey-stop hooking up with men who don’t come correct in the sheets? Can Lume improve his wingman skills and/or find a casual sneaky link of his own for a brief jaunt during retirement? Can the crew find out where all the single people hang out?? Should people be swiping more or less on the apps in 2022? Will Omarion force us all into another hardcore quarantine… or worse yet, another year of questionable dating opportunities??? Can Lume turn into a savage? These questions and more are debated, and while you’re at it what better time than to leave your favorite podcast 5 stars to start the year!?

QQH: Kristen recaps some of the very insane, very hilarious comments received on her appearance and marital status over Christmas travels. Lume has some suggestions for the users of the new Hinge audio feature. The crew closes the show with a shoutout to a legend and a "legendary" place. See ya never, 2021!

The best podcast ya heard today is back and the crew explains what has been going on during their hiatus… (spoiler alert B1G TEN CHAMPIONS!!!!!) It has been awhile since the team has brought a guest, and this week Bradley of the "The Donut Trap" (@thedonuttrap) has arrived to tell everyone about the best donuts in MN! (4:08) A shoutout to Vegans leads down a rabbit hole on a potential vegan dating app, but not for the reason you would think. Some classic strip club “would you rather”s turns into reminiscing some good ole' Dinkytown street rat/hoe phase memories. Is it ever acceptable to ask a hookup to leave through the window? While Lume ponders how people handle getting hit on while working their jobs, the crew comes up with a few very unique new business ideas involving a remix from “sexy cleaning service” to “sexy food truck”.

QQH (38:29): Back like we never left, first up is Watcha Watching as Kristen talks about Amazon Prime's "Wheel of Time", doing her best not to spoil the whole first episode. Then Lume attempts to gush over the new Spider-Man uninterrupted, with mixed success. Kristen is back so of course there is TikTok talk. After a quick shoutout, they go back to one of Lume's favorite things aka laughing at Urban Meyer. It is the holidays so only fair Kristen gets to discuss one of her favorite things aka ripping on Tristan Thompson. Next up, they discuss all the drama from the NBA's first family aka the Curry's. (reckless speculation alert) Also can celebrities actually keep stuff on the low in this social media age? They close out the show with one of the most ridiculous headlines ever. Who makes $50,000 a week for farts and who ready to buy the CEO's?