Take Your Seat

is it a wall you keep hitting, or a choice you keep making?

there's a difference between real constraints and constraints your brain convinced you that you had. this episode, mariefinah, ashlyn and sienna break down “manufactured” constraints, the two forms it usually takes, why it happens, and what it costs you when you don’t recognise it.

one type comes from the fear of perception. while, the other comes from waiting for a permission that you don’t actually need!

in this episode

• two types of manufactured constraints, and how to tell if what's in your way is real or something your brain built

• the fear of being seen doing something badly, and why your brain handicaps before you even start

• permission paralysis — when one task turns into your whole future before you've done anything

• "balance" as a myth, and the pie chart that replaces it

• doom scrolling, burnout, and the small habit that pulls you back before you crash

In THIS season of Take Your Seat; Between you and me, it's all about knowing who's taking a seat before you take yours. The lioness does concern herself with who she really is.

chapters

0:00 — What's Stopping You? naming the two kinds of stopping — the wall, and the choice

0:22 — Catch Up where ep1 and ep2 left off

1:11 — Real vs. Manufactured the neuroplasticity of it, and why manufactured stopping still feels real

4:34 — The Fear of Being Seen self-handicapping, imposter syndrome, and setting yourself up before you've started

11:17 — Waiting for Permission when one task becomes your whole future, and the paralysis that follows

18:55 — Seasons, Not Balance the pie chart, the baseline routine, and choosing what gets your energy

24:04 — Doom Scrolling the dopamine hit, the emotional whiplash, and the season it's costing you

29:21 — Burnout what it actually feels like, and the pattern behind five different crashes

36:06 — Coming Back to Purpose small wins, screenshots, and remembering why you started

awareness isn't the fix. it's just where the fixing starts.

love, mariefinah, sienna and ashlyn 🤍

everyone's doing a lot. especially in university. especially when the system tells you that the degree alone isn't enough to stand out — so you say yes to the committee, the expo, the extracurricular, the thing you're not even sure you want, because everyone gets the same degree and you cannot afford to be the one who did nothing with it.

but at some point it stops being ambition and the goal posts begin to move. most of us don't notice until we're completely exhausted, our calendars are full and the things we actually love have stopped making our to do lists.

this episode, we’re diving into it.  the comparison that makes even your most genuine work feel performative. the yes you said before you decided you wanted it. the way overcommitment creeps in disguised as drive — and how you only clock it when you look up and don't recognise your own life. it's not a tips and tricks episode. Just a wee conversation about what overcompensating actually feels like from the inside. and leaving you with one question to marinate it.

in this episode

• the comparison that doesn't feel like envy, comparison that leads to drive

• "am i actually creating something real, or am i just performing?", how your most genuine purpose can start to feel questionable

• why the system front-loads the pressure and makes every “no” feel like a risk you can't afford

• energy as a currency, every yes costs something, and the hobbies – the ones that make you, YOU, always lose out first

• chasing success in the small wins

• Do something with no standard attached

In this season of Take Your Seat; Between You and Me it's all about knowing who's taking a seat before you take yours. the lioness knows exactly why she's running. 

chapters

00:00 Why Are You Doing That?

01:09 picking up where we left off

01:37 the comparison that feels like motivation. that's the sneaky kind.

05:10 everyone gets the same degree. so you said yes. and yes. and yes.

08:32 you didn't realise you were in a loop until you were exhausted

11:05 every yes costs something. what are you actually spending it on?

19:18 the things you already have that you stopped noticing

28:45 see you later !

—

before your next yes, does it align with you, or are you keeping up?

and if you have to think about it for too long, that's probably your answer.

love, mariefinah, sienna and ashlyn.

when was the last time you had a truly original thought?

not something you scrolled into. not something something you simply absorbed without notice. not an opinion you borrowed from the comments section and made your whole personality.

this episode, it's just us — mariefinah, ashlyn, and sienna — and a conversation we've all been needing to have. we're talking about the small, sneaky ways we've stopped thinking for ourselves. the morning scroll. the comment section validation. your bestie, chatgpt (or any other AI). the argument you can't actually finish. the belief you picked up on TikTok and never really researched or questioned.

we don't have all the answers. because we're in the depths of this too. but we're clocking it — and that's where it starts.

in this episode

— the alarm scroll that sets your whole mood before you've even sat up— googling your own opinion to see if someone agrees, and what that says about us— borrowed arguments and the embarrassing moment when you realise you don't actually know a lot— AI, laziness, and the thinking we've stopped doing— why we outsource our thinking, and the confidence thing anyone can admit but doesnt want to do anything about

In THIS season of Take Your Seat; Between you and me,

It's all about knowing who's taking a seat before you take yours. The lioness does concern herself with who she really is.

chapters

0:00 — Who Told You That?the thought that started it all

0:40 — Meet Your Hostsmariefinah, ashlyn and sienna — and why this season looks a little different

3:18 — The Morning Scrollyour thumb skips the snooze and goes straight to instagram.

6:35 — The Comments Sectionwhy we can't just have a reaction that's our own

14:39 — The End of Your Libraryborrowed arguments, debates you can't finish, and the embarrassing moment you run out of things to say

20:13 — The AI Problemeverything is one search away. so when did we last actually think?

22:06 — Why Do We Actually Do This?why do we outsource our thinking???

23:37 — So What Do We Do About It?journaling, values, and the small things that bring your thinking back to you

27:52 — Who Told You That?we'll leave you with that.

----

notice when you reach for something before you've had a chance to think. notice when your opinion adjusts without you deciding to change it.

you have a real brain. a good one. use it, girl. 🤍

love, mariefinah, sienna and ashlyn.

In this episode of Take Your Seat, we sit down with Sophia Schulz — engineer, multimedia artist, and storyteller to explore what it means to follow curiosity beyond the conventional. From robotics labs and international research to immersive STEAM exhibits like Resonance, Sophia shares the risks, joys, and revelations of navigating a niche, unconventional career that blends technical mastery with creative expression.

We dive into the barriers women face in engineering, the historical undervaluing of craft and art, and how Sophia draws on both worlds to expand what engineering can be. Along the way, she reflects on the stories, and women whose work paved the way, and why creativity in technical spaces, from precision cameras to interactive installations, is nuanced, essential, and deeply resonant.

This conversation is about permission, exploration, and claiming your seat in spaces that weren’t built with you in mind. Whether you’re curious about STEM, art, or forging your own unconventional path, Sophia’s experiences serve as a masterclass in following instincts, honouring history, and designing work and life that truly resonates.

Here are your Takeaways this week!

• Creativity isn’t a detour from engineering — it’s a legitimate and powerful way of practicing it.

• Following curiosity can lead to careers that don’t fit traditional pathways, and that’s a strength, not a flaw.

• The history of engineering is deeply intertwined with craft, textiles, and women’s labour. Even if that lineage is rarely acknowledged.

• Technical mastery and artistic expression can coexist, and when they do, they expand what engineering can be.

• Interactive installations and multimedia work show how engineering can create emotional, cultural, and sensory experiences.

• Permission to explore is often self‑granted; waiting for external validation can hold you back from your most resonant work.

If this episode resonated with you,

Make sure to Like this episode and Follow the Take Your Seat Podcast for more;

📸 Instagram: @takeyourseatpod

🎧 Podcast: Take Your Seat

💬 Join the conversation & share this episode with someone who needs it.

Take Your Seat — where women’s stories spark possibility.

--

Chapters

00:03 – Meet Sophia Schulz

00:54 – Sophia's Current Projects

05:14 – Exploring Creativity in Engineering

21:51 – Challenges and Gender Stereotypes

44:33 – Historical Context and Women's Contributions

66:42 – What about those who stand in the in between?

In this episode, we’re sitting down with Michelle Delves, an AI Operations Engineer at Air New Zealand, a classically trained musician, and someone deeply involved in women-in-tech and wellbeing initiatives. Taiwanese and British, raised in the Middle East, now living in Aotearoa, Michelle’s multicultural upbringing has shaped the way she thinks, builds, and shows up across tech, music, and community.

We trace Michelle’s path into engineering and the realities of navigating high‑achievement environments — the pressure that hides behind excellence, the expectations that follow you into every room, and the grounding practices that keep you whole. She opens up about the discipline that connects music and engineering, and why she never felt compelled to shrink herself into a single narrative.

Together, we explore what it means to lead early in your career, to advocate from a place of care rather than visibility, and to build community in technical spaces that don’t always make room for softness, culture, or creativity. This conversation is a reminder that growth doesn’t require certainty — only honesty, curiosity, and the willingness to keep becoming.

What’s in your TAKEAWAY bag

• ​You don’t need to collapse into one identity, follow your passions
• ​High achievement and pressure often coexist — and that’s human
• ​Creativity isn’t a distraction; it can be an outlet that grounds you
• ​Leadership can begin long before a formal title
• ​Cultural perspective shapes how you move through the world and your work
• ​Community makes hard paths feel possible, have confidence in your advocacies! They are valuable
• ​You’re allowed to be in progress and keep learning, while still inspire others

Chapters

00:00 – Meet Michelle Delves

05:40 – What AI Ops actually looks like day to day

10:18 – Growing up multi-cultured!

15:32 – Pressure, performance, and engineering culture

21:10 – Why music stayed non‑negotiable

26:45 – Creativity as grounding, not escape

31:08 – Advocacy, community, and noticing what’s missing

35:50 – Being early‑career and still becoming

39:20 – What Michelle hopes listeners carry forward

love, mariefinah

In this episode, We're sitting down with mechanical engineer Renée Young, whose career spans New Zealand, Canada, and the US. In this episode, we unpack Renée unexpected entry into engineering, the courage it takes to trust yourself in a male‑dominated industry, and the resilience required to keep pushing forward.

Renée shares how creativity, curiosity, and community shaped her path — from being one of only a handful of women in her engineering cohort to becoming a leader, mentor, and advocate for women in STEM. She reflects on the glass ceilings she’s shattered, the feedback she learned to rise above, and why authenticity is her greatest leadership tool.

We also explore the parallels between boxing and engineering: discipline, character, stress management, and the confidence that stems from showing up for yourself again and again.

Here's what's in your TAKEAWAY bag

• Self-trust is a skill, especially in challenging or unfamiliar spaces.
• Community accelerates growth; no one succeeds alone.
• Resilience is built through doing hard things repeatedly.
• Leadership starts with authenticity, not titles.
• Physical discipline (like boxing) strengthens mental resilience.
• Financial stability creates freedom of choice and Engineering gives you this
• Mentorship and representation change what feels possible.
• Audacity in leadership creates impact

Chapters

00:00 - Meet Renée Young

06:20 - Navigating the beginning

12:43 - Financial Freedom in Engineering

19:03 - Overcoming Challenges and Achieving Fulfillment

20:44 - The Power of Self-Validation

22:16 - Leadership Beyond Titles

24:30 - Navigating Leadership in Male-Dominated Spaces

30:05 - Community as Currency

33:49 - Lessons from Boxing: Resilience and Community

37:45 - Finding Purpose in Impact

39:53 - Trusting Yourself: The Key to Authenticity

love, mariefinah

In this episode of the Take Your Seat podcast, we're sitting down with Chantelle Haywood, a graduate radio access network engineer at 2Degrees, NZ. We discuss Chantelle's journey into engineering, her experiences as a woman in a male-dominated field, and the importance of mentorship and community. Chantelle shares insights on overcoming imposter syndrome, the significance of authenticity in interviews, and her passion for advocating for women in STEM. The conversation highlights the need for diversity in engineering and the importance of pursuing one's passions both professionally and personally.

Here's what's in your TAKEAWAY bag;

• The strongest interviews happen when you show up as yourself, not as a script.
• Mentorship accelerates both who you become and how far you go.
• Imposter syndrome is a shared experience, especially for women in technical spaces, and it softens with practice.
• Passion isn’t a luxury in engineering; it’s the fuel that sustains you through the hard parts.
• Your extracurriculars are not “extra”, they’re the proof of who you are beyond your grades.
• Advocating for women in STEM isn’t optional, it shapes the pathways for those who come next.
• Early in your career, absorb everything — be curious, be teachable, be open.

If this episode resonated with you,

Make sure to Like this episode and Follow the Take Your Seat Podcast for more;

📸 Instagram: @takeyourseatpod

🎧 Podcast: Take Your Seat

💬 Join the conversation & share this episode with someone who needs it.

Take Your Seat — where women’s stories spark possibility.

-- CHAPTERS --

00:00 — Meet Chantelle Haywood

03:00 — What a Radio Network Engineer Actually Does

05:59 — Moving from Uni into Industry

09:02 — Seeing the Real‑World Impact of Engineering

11:56 — Why Passion Matters in Technical Work

15:02 — Relearning Creativity and Learning on the Job

21:49 — Working Through Imposter Syndrome

25:30 — Applying to a Internship & Graduate Roles

28:45 — Being Yourself in Interviews

34:04 — Supporting Women in STEM

42:50 — What's next for Chantelle

46:55 — You belong in every room you're in.

In this episode of Take Your Seat, we’re sitting down with Sophia Lee, a fourth-year Civil Engineering student at the University of Auckland, to talk through what her internship experiences at KiwiRail and Frequency have actually been like — day to day, not just on paper.

Sophia speaks candidly about starting internships without feeling particularly confident, learning by observing how people work together, and realising early on that being approachable and willing to ask questions mattered more than trying to prove herself. She reflects on workplace culture, how she gauges whether an environment feels right, and how small conversations and relationships ended up shaping her opportunities more than formal applications ever did.

This episode is a grounded look at early engineering work — how you settle in, learn quietly, and build trust before you build certainty.

By the way... it's not you, it's me.

The Audio of this episode faced technical difficulties! Bear with me, it's fixed for the next one :)

Here are the episode's takeaways:

• Being approachable and curious can open more doors than feeling “ready.

• Real-world learning happens outside structured classes—relationships accelerate it

• Workplace culture shapes early experiences, seek environments that support learning.

• Soft skills, communication, and adaptability matter as much as technical ability.

• Early conversations can turn into opportunities; start where you are, not where you think you need to be. Scaffolded networking!

If this episode resonated with you,

Make sure to Like this episode and Follow the Take Your Seat Podcast for more;

📸 Instagram: @takeyourseatpod

🎧 Podcast: Take Your Seat

💬 Join the conversation & share this episode with someone who needs it.

Take Your Seat — where women’s stories spark possibility.

--- Chapters ---

00:00 – Meet Sophia

01:18 – Life as an Intern: The Daily Grind

03:43 – Tackling Early Internship Challenges

05:39 – Culture Shock: Learning from Workplace Vibes

07:59 – Conversations Over CVs: Landing the Internship

12:21 – Networking That Works

16:19 – Beyond Textbooks

19:46 – Making her mark

24:02 – Advice on Taking Your Seat

Welcome to the very first episode of Take Your Seat!

If you’re starting engineering, thinking about it, or just curious about what university life is really like, this episode is for you. We’re taking a seat with first-years (almost second-years!) Isabel Paroli and Hannah Wellington as they share a real look at their first year at the University of Auckland; a rollercoaster ride full of challenges, growth, and unforgettable moments.

In this episode, they share:

• The challenges and surprises of university life.

• How to balance academics, social life, and personal growth.

• Their experiences as women navigating a male-dominated field.

• The importance of community, support, and perseverance.

• Insights into personal growth and self-discovery during the first year.
• Encouragement to embrace the journey, learn from experiences, and claim your space.

Take your seat and join us as we laugh, reflect, and explore what it really means to survive and grow in your first year of engineering.

If this episode resonated with you,

Make sure to Like this episode and Follow the Take Your Seat Podcast for more;

📸 Instagram: @takeyourseatpod

🎧 Podcast: Take Your Seat

💬 Join the conversation & share this episode with someone who needs it.

Take Your Seat — where women’s stories spark possibility.

--- Chapters ---

00:00 – Introduction

00:46 – First Year in One Word

02:20 – The Reality Check: Workload, Halls & Expectations

04:40 – High School vs University

07:15 – Doubt, Direction & Choosing Engineering

08:40 – Getting Through Tough Courses & Exam Season

10:15 – Smarter Study: Breaking Old Habits

12:00 – Staying Organised: Calendars, Planning & Avoiding Panic

13:10 – Lecture Life: Adjusting to Pace & Cohort Size

14:50 – Comparison Culture & Finding Supportive Friends

18:20 – Balancing Academics, Social Life & Rest

21:15 – What We Wish We Knew

24:30 – Final Words for Incoming First‑Years