Bike Block Strap for cellists review.
I am possibly a convert!
Here is my review in detail but more of a first impression so I will do another once I am used to it.

hi tail tellers welcome to royal clarence and the music studio i'm going to give you a quick review today actually about the block strap i know it's a bit of a cheesy name isn't it but you see what he did there um it's i bought it about a year ago right and i i remember sort of fiddling around with it at that point and i just gave up i just thought oh god no i'd put it away um and but recently i've had a really really agonizing episode with my neck and back pain my arthritic and pain now i i never really put two and two together about the music musicians do not want to admit that they have any sort of injury which is going to impact on their playing or their practicing and some days i practice for you know you know darling that's where me has joined us some days i will practice for you know six hours eight hours i've been known just to be completely obsessed over something if i'm writing something but and i'd never really associated any sort of back pain with playing the cello i've just recently bought a piano and i'm you know i'm taking up piano again after many years and i was in bed last week the pain was so excruciating anyway i just thought maybe it's something to do with the back i'll tell you another reason i've got a cauldron if you can hear so i was um i didn't practice for two days and i had no arthritis no neck pain no shoulder pain no back pain and i had to admit at that point that maybe just maybe the pain was being caused by um my music practices so i got quite upset and i thought well you know my it's my career it's what i do you know i'm a composer and i thought what should i play less and you're gonna rely more heavily on my electronic music which is not something i particularly want to do i really love being able to play what i record i love acoustics um it's why i bought a baby ground you know so it was really loath to do that so then i thought oh i was looking at this block strap thing it's been sitting on a shelf and i thought should i just give it a go so this is my review of the block strap so first of all the video is almost impossible to understand i put it on backwards because obviously when you're looking face on it's difficult to work out i think there was one point where mike mentioned to do something to the right um now as a radio broadcaster i know how specific one has to be with the audio instructions you've got to be so on the ball there but also you know i'm a woman no spatial awareness apparently i don't know how true that is but after today's hour of trying to get this thing on i think um you know they might have a point uh critiques so it would have been better i think if there'd been a video from above his head that would have worked much much better and so i put it on and it was completely around the wrong way so so the the pegs were on my right side and the strap was going over on the left i think that was more where the problem lay anyway it was perfect but only for a left-handed person i thought i'm obviously doing something wrong so i just swapped everything around went back to the video i mean i watched the video about five times um it's on ebay uh sorry youtube so that's easy enough to um find it's also on the website anyway i managed to get it on the first thing that the biggest thing that occurred was the eyelet broke almost as soon as i put it on the eyelet was half off after the round when it was around the wrong way and i sort of stuck it back in again it's a big round eyelet it's not attached to the webbing very well at all and it's just fallen off now so i'm i mean i'm you know pretty able so i'll find an alternative solution just to strengthen the hole that goes around that webbing and we could stitch it with string or anything like that um so that was the first thing i mean it this thing...

Bike Block Strap for cellists review.
I am possibly a convert!
Here is my review in detail but more of a first impression so I will do another once I am used to it.

hi tail tellers welcome to royal clarence and the music studio i'm going to give you a quick review today actually about the block strap i know it's a bit of a cheesy name isn't it but you see what he did there um it's i bought it about a year ago right and i i remember sort of fiddling around with it at that point and i just gave up i just thought oh god no i'd put it away um and but recently i've had a really really agonizing episode with my neck and back pain my arthritic and pain now i i never really put two and two together about the music musicians do not want to admit that they have any sort of injury which is going to impact on their playing or their practicing and some days i practice for you know you know darling that's where me has joined us some days i will practice for you know six hours eight hours i've been known just to be completely obsessed over something if i'm writing something but and i'd never really associated any sort of back pain with playing the cello i've just recently bought a piano and i'm you know i'm taking up piano again after many years and i was in bed last week the pain was so excruciating anyway i just thought maybe it's something to do with the back i'll tell you another reason i've got a cauldron if you can hear so i was um i didn't practice for two days and i had no arthritis no neck pain no shoulder pain no back pain and i had to admit at that point that maybe just maybe the pain was being caused by um my music practices so i got quite upset and i thought well you know my it's my career it's what i do you know i'm a composer and i thought what should i play less and you're gonna rely more heavily on my electronic music which is not something i particularly want to do i really love being able to play what i record i love acoustics um it's why i bought a baby ground you know so it was really loath to do that so then i thought oh i was looking at this block strap thing it's been sitting on a shelf and i thought should i just give it a go so this is my review of the block strap so first of all the video is almost impossible to understand i put it on backwards because obviously when you're looking face on it's difficult to work out i think there was one point where mike mentioned to do something to the right um now as a radio broadcaster i know how specific one has to be with the audio instructions you've got to be so on the ball there but also you know i'm a woman no spatial awareness apparently i don't know how true that is but after today's hour of trying to get this thing on i think um you know they might have a point uh critiques so it would have been better i think if there'd been a video from above his head that would have worked much much better and so i put it on and it was completely around the wrong way so so the the pegs were on my right side and the strap was going over on the left i think that was more where the problem lay anyway it was perfect but only for a left-handed person i thought i'm obviously doing something wrong so i just swapped everything around went back to the video i mean i watched the video about five times um it's on ebay uh sorry youtube so that's easy enough to um find it's also on the website anyway i managed to get it on the first thing that the biggest thing that occurred was the eyelet broke almost as soon as i put it on the eyelet was half off after the round when it was around the wrong way and i sort of stuck it back in again it's a big round eyelet it's not attached to the webbing very well at all and it's just fallen off now so i'm i mean i'm you know pretty able so i'll find an alternative solution just to strengthen the hole that goes around that webbing and we could stitch it with string or anything like that um so that was the first thing i mean it this thing...

A week of the dreaded flu meant that thisngs were calm at the marina. Chat and auciobooks from Royal Clarence today.

hello gorgeous people of the internet did you hear romeo then that's my cat the studio cat crying anyway welcome to royal clarence radio and um what a week i've been ill of course i had a suspected covid which just turned out to be a dramatic cold nothing more nothing less now then we're going to really have to look after ourselves because over these last uh months you know this last 18 months none of us have been getting out and about and we've haven't built up any immunity so we're bound to be getting all sorts of curls and fluid things so i do hope you're all going to drink lots of special teas that uh fight against infections and things like that but you know we can't stay in you know we one has to socialize one has to get on with life and the temptation to stay in forever is of course great when you think um you know of all the diseases you can get but one can't do that one can't do that and i'm certainly not going to do that so hopefully this is my first and last cold of the season um anyway what else has been happening well it was a drama getting the covert test done but mother has graciously um managed to accumulate 20 tester kits and they're taking over the drawing room now they're just everywhere and um well it saves doing the whole postbox thing you know because that was a bit of a drama so i didn't enjoy that um other news well i've got a very special day today because sunday and i always always always without fail have a special big large fat sunday lunch at mother's i was just thinking there you know it's something to really look forward to isn't it a big sunday roast that you don't have to cook i mean i'd never cook it for myself so i'm looking forward to that later now what have i got for you i've got as you know i'm a cellist and i've got a track called beautiful dreamer which is my cello and some drums and i thought i'd play that for you so it's very short no words the lyrics are actually beautiful but it's written by stephen foster it's been sung by a lot of very famous people um but i can't sing darlings so it's just an instrumental but then after that i've got an excerpt for you it's just the first chapter and it's a book called the red cross girls in the british trenches by margaret van der kook so it's just chapter one and it's 15 minutes or so it's a narration it's a free audio book and i thought i'll serialize it over the coming weeks and i i've got a lot of archival material actually as you probably know by now and i think it's really interesting just to sit back and have a listen so i hope you enjoy and i do hope you're getting a big sunday roast as well and um well i'll be back tomorrow no doubt with uh more of the same you know me it just goes on and on and on

chapter one of the red cross girls in the british trenches this is a librivox recording all librivox recordings are in the public domain for more information or to volunteer please visit librivox.org the red cross girls in the british trenches by margaret vandercook chapter 1 a social failure the dance was over and mildred thornton climbed disk on slightly up the long stairs from her thin shoulders floated a delicate white scarf and her dress was of white lace and tulle yet mildred had no look of a conquering princess nor yet of cinderella who must have carried her head proudly even after the ball remembering the devotion of her prince but for mildred there was no prince to remember nor devotion from anyone she was in that mood of hopeless depression which comes from having attended a dance at which one has been a hopeless failure her head drooped and though her cheeks were hot her hands were cold downstairs in the library she could hear her brother having his good night talk with her mother of course he did not intend that she should overhear what was being said and yet distinctly his words floated up...

A week of the dreaded flu meant that thisngs were calm at the marina. Chat and auciobooks from Royal Clarence today.

hello gorgeous people of the internet did you hear romeo then that's my cat the studio cat crying anyway welcome to royal clarence radio and um what a week i've been ill of course i had a suspected covid which just turned out to be a dramatic cold nothing more nothing less now then we're going to really have to look after ourselves because over these last uh months you know this last 18 months none of us have been getting out and about and we've haven't built up any immunity so we're bound to be getting all sorts of curls and fluid things so i do hope you're all going to drink lots of special teas that uh fight against infections and things like that but you know we can't stay in you know we one has to socialize one has to get on with life and the temptation to stay in forever is of course great when you think um you know of all the diseases you can get but one can't do that one can't do that and i'm certainly not going to do that so hopefully this is my first and last cold of the season um anyway what else has been happening well it was a drama getting the covert test done but mother has graciously um managed to accumulate 20 tester kits and they're taking over the drawing room now they're just everywhere and um well it saves doing the whole postbox thing you know because that was a bit of a drama so i didn't enjoy that um other news well i've got a very special day today because sunday and i always always always without fail have a special big large fat sunday lunch at mother's i was just thinking there you know it's something to really look forward to isn't it a big sunday roast that you don't have to cook i mean i'd never cook it for myself so i'm looking forward to that later now what have i got for you i've got as you know i'm a cellist and i've got a track called beautiful dreamer which is my cello and some drums and i thought i'd play that for you so it's very short no words the lyrics are actually beautiful but it's written by stephen foster it's been sung by a lot of very famous people um but i can't sing darlings so it's just an instrumental but then after that i've got an excerpt for you it's just the first chapter and it's a book called the red cross girls in the british trenches by margaret van der kook so it's just chapter one and it's 15 minutes or so it's a narration it's a free audio book and i thought i'll serialize it over the coming weeks and i i've got a lot of archival material actually as you probably know by now and i think it's really interesting just to sit back and have a listen so i hope you enjoy and i do hope you're getting a big sunday roast as well and um well i'll be back tomorrow no doubt with uh more of the same you know me it just goes on and on and on

chapter one of the red cross girls in the british trenches this is a librivox recording all librivox recordings are in the public domain for more information or to volunteer please visit librivox.org the red cross girls in the british trenches by margaret vandercook chapter 1 a social failure the dance was over and mildred thornton climbed disk on slightly up the long stairs from her thin shoulders floated a delicate white scarf and her dress was of white lace and tulle yet mildred had no look of a conquering princess nor yet of cinderella who must have carried her head proudly even after the ball remembering the devotion of her prince but for mildred there was no prince to remember nor devotion from anyone she was in that mood of hopeless depression which comes from having attended a dance at which one has been a hopeless failure her head drooped and though her cheeks were hot her hands were cold downstairs in the library she could hear her brother having his good night talk with her mother of course he did not intend that she should overhear what was being said and yet distinctly his words floated up...

Poems for Children Free Downloads No Copyright Public Domain Educational Tools Entertainment.

poems every child should know edited by mary e burt section six read for librivox.org by kara shallenberg this section contains the following poems the boy who never told a lie love between brothers and sisters the blue bells of scotland if i had but two little wings and a farewell part one continued the boy who never told a lie the boy who never told a lie by anonymous as well as whatever brawls disturbed the street by isaac watts 1674 to 1748 are real gems a few years ago they were more in favor than the poorer verse that has been put forward but they are sure to be revived once there was a little boy with curly hair and pleasant eye a boy who always told the truth and never never told a lie and when he trotted off to school the children all about would cry there goes the curly-headed boy the boy that never tells a lie and everybody loved him so because he always told the truth that every day as he grew up twas said there goes the honest youth and when the people that stood near would turn to ask the reason why the answer would be always this because he never tells a lie

love between brothers and sisters whatever brawls disturb the street there should be peace at home where sisters dwell and brothers meet quarrels should never come birds in their little nests agree and it is a shameful sight when children of one family fall out and chide and fight isaac watts

the blue bell of scotland

oh where and oh where is your highland laddy gone he's gone to fight the french for king george upon the throne and it's oh in my heart how i wish him safe at home oh where and oh where does your highland laddie dwell he dwells in mary scotland at the sign of the bluebell and it's oh in my heart that i love my laddy well

if i had but two little wings if i had but two little wings by samuel taylor coleridge 1772-1834

is recommended by a number of teachers and school girls if i had but two little wings and were a little feathery bird to you i'd fly my dear but thoughts like these are idle things and i stay here but in my sleep to you i fly i'm always with you in my sleep the world is all one's own and then one wakes and where am i all all alone samuel t coleridge

a farewell a farewell by charles kingsley 1819 to 1875 makes it seem worthwhile to be good

my fairest child i have no song to give you no lark could pipe to skies so dull and grey yet air we part one lesson i can leave you for every day be good sweet maid and let who will be clever do noble things not dream them all day long and so make life death and that vast forever one grand sweet song charles kingsley end of section 6 read by kara shallenberg on october 9 2006 in oceanside california

Poems for Children Free Downloads No Copyright Public Domain Educational Tools Entertainment.

poems every child should know edited by mary e burt section six read for librivox.org by kara shallenberg this section contains the following poems the boy who never told a lie love between brothers and sisters the blue bells of scotland if i had but two little wings and a farewell part one continued the boy who never told a lie the boy who never told a lie by anonymous as well as whatever brawls disturbed the street by isaac watts 1674 to 1748 are real gems a few years ago they were more in favor than the poorer verse that has been put forward but they are sure to be revived once there was a little boy with curly hair and pleasant eye a boy who always told the truth and never never told a lie and when he trotted off to school the children all about would cry there goes the curly-headed boy the boy that never tells a lie and everybody loved him so because he always told the truth that every day as he grew up twas said there goes the honest youth and when the people that stood near would turn to ask the reason why the answer would be always this because he never tells a lie

love between brothers and sisters whatever brawls disturb the street there should be peace at home where sisters dwell and brothers meet quarrels should never come birds in their little nests agree and it is a shameful sight when children of one family fall out and chide and fight isaac watts

the blue bell of scotland

oh where and oh where is your highland laddy gone he's gone to fight the french for king george upon the throne and it's oh in my heart how i wish him safe at home oh where and oh where does your highland laddie dwell he dwells in mary scotland at the sign of the bluebell and it's oh in my heart that i love my laddy well

if i had but two little wings if i had but two little wings by samuel taylor coleridge 1772-1834

is recommended by a number of teachers and school girls if i had but two little wings and were a little feathery bird to you i'd fly my dear but thoughts like these are idle things and i stay here but in my sleep to you i fly i'm always with you in my sleep the world is all one's own and then one wakes and where am i all all alone samuel t coleridge

a farewell a farewell by charles kingsley 1819 to 1875 makes it seem worthwhile to be good

my fairest child i have no song to give you no lark could pipe to skies so dull and grey yet air we part one lesson i can leave you for every day be good sweet maid and let who will be clever do noble things not dream them all day long and so make life death and that vast forever one grand sweet song charles kingsley end of section 6 read by kara shallenberg on october 9 2006 in oceanside california

Best Nonsense Poems Free Kids Books Emily John James and I W S Gilbert Public Domain.

emily john james and i a darby legend by w.s gilbert from the best nonsense verses chosen by josephine dodge dascum this librivox recording is in the public domain emily james was a nursery maid james was a bold lifeguard and john was constable poorly paid and i am a doggeral bard a very good girl was emily jane jimmy was good and true and john was a very good man in the main and i am a good man too rivals for emmy were johnny and james though emily liked them both she couldn't tell which had the strongest claims and i couldn't take my oath but sooner or later you're certain to find your sentiments can't lie ahead jane thought it was time that she made up her mind and i think it was time she did said jane with a smirk and a blush on her face i'll promise to wed the boy who takes me tomorrow to epsom race which i would have done with joy from johnny escaped an expression of pain but jimmy said done with you i'll take you with pleasure my emily jane and i would have said so too johnny lay on the ground and he roared like mad for johnny was sore perplexed and he kicked very hard at a very small ad which i often do when vexed for john was on duty next day with the force to punish all epsom crimes some people will cross when they're clearing the course i do it myself sometimes the darby day sun glittered gaily on cads on maidens with gambage hair on sharpers and pickpocket swindlers and pads for i with my harp was there and jimmy went down with his jane that day and john by the collar or nape seized everybody who came in his way and i had a narrow escape he noticed his emily jane with jim and envied the well-made elf and people remarked that he muttered oh dim i often say dim myself john dogged them all day without asking their leaves for his sergeant he told aside that jimmy and jane were notorious thieves and i think he was justified but james wouldn't dream of abstracting a fork and jenny would blush with shame at stealing so much as a bottle or cork a bottle i think fair game but ah there's another more serious crime they wickedly strayed upon the course at a critical moment of time i pointed them out to john the crusher came down on the pair in a crack and then with a demon smile let jenny cross over but sent jimmy back i played on my harp for the while stern johnny their agony loud derides with a very triumphant sneer they weep and they wail from the opposite sides and i shed a silent tear and jenny is crying away like mad and jimmy is swearing hard and johnny is looking uncommonly glad and i am a doggeral bard but jimmy he ventured on crossing again the scenes of our ismian games john caught him and collared him giving him pain i very much felt for james john led him away with a victor's hand and jimmy was shortly seen in the station house under the grand grandstand as many a times i've been and jimmy bad boy was imprisoned for life though emily pleaded hard and johnny had emily jane to wife and i am a doggerel bard

and of emily john james and i by w.s gilbert recording by grace buchanan of weavergrace.com

Best Nonsense Poems Free Kids Books Emily John James and I W S Gilbert Public Domain.

emily john james and i a darby legend by w.s gilbert from the best nonsense verses chosen by josephine dodge dascum this librivox recording is in the public domain emily james was a nursery maid james was a bold lifeguard and john was constable poorly paid and i am a doggeral bard a very good girl was emily jane jimmy was good and true and john was a very good man in the main and i am a good man too rivals for emmy were johnny and james though emily liked them both she couldn't tell which had the strongest claims and i couldn't take my oath but sooner or later you're certain to find your sentiments can't lie ahead jane thought it was time that she made up her mind and i think it was time she did said jane with a smirk and a blush on her face i'll promise to wed the boy who takes me tomorrow to epsom race which i would have done with joy from johnny escaped an expression of pain but jimmy said done with you i'll take you with pleasure my emily jane and i would have said so too johnny lay on the ground and he roared like mad for johnny was sore perplexed and he kicked very hard at a very small ad which i often do when vexed for john was on duty next day with the force to punish all epsom crimes some people will cross when they're clearing the course i do it myself sometimes the darby day sun glittered gaily on cads on maidens with gambage hair on sharpers and pickpocket swindlers and pads for i with my harp was there and jimmy went down with his jane that day and john by the collar or nape seized everybody who came in his way and i had a narrow escape he noticed his emily jane with jim and envied the well-made elf and people remarked that he muttered oh dim i often say dim myself john dogged them all day without asking their leaves for his sergeant he told aside that jimmy and jane were notorious thieves and i think he was justified but james wouldn't dream of abstracting a fork and jenny would blush with shame at stealing so much as a bottle or cork a bottle i think fair game but ah there's another more serious crime they wickedly strayed upon the course at a critical moment of time i pointed them out to john the crusher came down on the pair in a crack and then with a demon smile let jenny cross over but sent jimmy back i played on my harp for the while stern johnny their agony loud derides with a very triumphant sneer they weep and they wail from the opposite sides and i shed a silent tear and jenny is crying away like mad and jimmy is swearing hard and johnny is looking uncommonly glad and i am a doggeral bard but jimmy he ventured on crossing again the scenes of our ismian games john caught him and collared him giving him pain i very much felt for james john led him away with a victor's hand and jimmy was shortly seen in the station house under the grand grandstand as many a times i've been and jimmy bad boy was imprisoned for life though emily pleaded hard and johnny had emily jane to wife and i am a doggerel bard

and of emily john james and i by w.s gilbert recording by grace buchanan of weavergrace.com

Gentle Alice Brown W-S-Gilbert Free Audiobooks No Copyright Children's Entertainment.

gentle alice brown by w.s gilbert from the best nonsense verses chosen by josephine dodge dascam this librivox recording is in the public domain

it was a robber's daughter and her name was alice brown her father was the terror of a small italian town her mother was a foolish weak but amiable old thing but it isn't of her parents that i'm going for to sing as alice was a sitting at her windowsill one day a beautiful young gentleman he chanced to pass that way she cast her eyes upon him and he looked so good and true that she thought i could be happy with a gentleman like you and every morning past her house that cream of gentlemen she knew she might expect him at a quarter until 10 a sorter in the custom house it was his daily road the custom house was 15 minutes walk from her abode but alice was a pious girl who knew it wasn't wise to look at strange young sorters with expressive purple eyes so she sought the village priest to whom her family confessed the priest by whom their little sins were carefully assessed o holy father alice said to would grieve you would it not to discover that i was a most disreputable lot of all unhappy sinners i'm the most unhappy one the padre said whatever have you been and gone and done i have helped mama to steal a little kitty from its dad i've assisted dear papa in cutting up a little lad i've planned a little burglary and forged a little check and slain a little baby for the coral on its neck the worthy pastor heaved a sigh and dropped the silent tear and said you mustn't judge yourself too heavily my dear it's wrong to murder babies little corals for to fleece but sins like these one expiates at half a crown apiece girls will be girls you're very young and flighty in your mind old heads upon young shoulders we must not expect to find we mustn't be too hard upon these little girlish tricks let's see five crimes at half a crown exactly twelve and six oh father little alice cried your kindness makes me weep you do these little things for me so singularly cheap your thoughtful liberality i never can forget but oh there is another crime i haven't mentioned yet a pleasant looking gentleman with pretty purple eyes i've noticed at my window as i've sat on catching flies he passes by it every day as certain as can be i blushed to say i've winked at him and he has winked at me for shame said father paul my airing daughter on my word this is the most distressing news that i have ever heard why naughty girl your excellent papa has pledged your hand to a promising young robber the lieutenant of his band this dreadful piece of news will pain your worthy parents so they are the most remunerative customers i know for many many years they've kept starvation from my doors i never knew so criminal of family as yours the common country folk in this insipid neighborhood have nothing to confess they're so ridiculously good and if you marry anyone respectable at all why you'll reform and what will then become of father paul the worthy priest he up and drew his cowl upon his crown and started off in haste to tell the news to robber brown to tell him how his daughter who was now for marriage fit had winked upon a sorter who reciprocated it good robber brown he muffled up his anger pretty well he said i have a notion and that notion i will tell i will nab this gay young sorter terrify him into fits and get my gentle wife to chop him into little bits i've studied human nature and i know a thing or two though a girl may fondly love a living gent as many do a feeling of disgust upon her senses there will fall when she looks upon his body chopped particularly small he traced that gallant sorter to a still suburban square he watched his opportunity and seized him unaware he took a life preserver and he hit him on the head and mrs brown dissected him before she went to bed and pretty little alice grew more...

Gentle Alice Brown W-S-Gilbert Free Audiobooks No Copyright Children's Entertainment.

gentle alice brown by w.s gilbert from the best nonsense verses chosen by josephine dodge dascam this librivox recording is in the public domain

it was a robber's daughter and her name was alice brown her father was the terror of a small italian town her mother was a foolish weak but amiable old thing but it isn't of her parents that i'm going for to sing as alice was a sitting at her windowsill one day a beautiful young gentleman he chanced to pass that way she cast her eyes upon him and he looked so good and true that she thought i could be happy with a gentleman like you and every morning past her house that cream of gentlemen she knew she might expect him at a quarter until 10 a sorter in the custom house it was his daily road the custom house was 15 minutes walk from her abode but alice was a pious girl who knew it wasn't wise to look at strange young sorters with expressive purple eyes so she sought the village priest to whom her family confessed the priest by whom their little sins were carefully assessed o holy father alice said to would grieve you would it not to discover that i was a most disreputable lot of all unhappy sinners i'm the most unhappy one the padre said whatever have you been and gone and done i have helped mama to steal a little kitty from its dad i've assisted dear papa in cutting up a little lad i've planned a little burglary and forged a little check and slain a little baby for the coral on its neck the worthy pastor heaved a sigh and dropped the silent tear and said you mustn't judge yourself too heavily my dear it's wrong to murder babies little corals for to fleece but sins like these one expiates at half a crown apiece girls will be girls you're very young and flighty in your mind old heads upon young shoulders we must not expect to find we mustn't be too hard upon these little girlish tricks let's see five crimes at half a crown exactly twelve and six oh father little alice cried your kindness makes me weep you do these little things for me so singularly cheap your thoughtful liberality i never can forget but oh there is another crime i haven't mentioned yet a pleasant looking gentleman with pretty purple eyes i've noticed at my window as i've sat on catching flies he passes by it every day as certain as can be i blushed to say i've winked at him and he has winked at me for shame said father paul my airing daughter on my word this is the most distressing news that i have ever heard why naughty girl your excellent papa has pledged your hand to a promising young robber the lieutenant of his band this dreadful piece of news will pain your worthy parents so they are the most remunerative customers i know for many many years they've kept starvation from my doors i never knew so criminal of family as yours the common country folk in this insipid neighborhood have nothing to confess they're so ridiculously good and if you marry anyone respectable at all why you'll reform and what will then become of father paul the worthy priest he up and drew his cowl upon his crown and started off in haste to tell the news to robber brown to tell him how his daughter who was now for marriage fit had winked upon a sorter who reciprocated it good robber brown he muffled up his anger pretty well he said i have a notion and that notion i will tell i will nab this gay young sorter terrify him into fits and get my gentle wife to chop him into little bits i've studied human nature and i know a thing or two though a girl may fondly love a living gent as many do a feeling of disgust upon her senses there will fall when she looks upon his body chopped particularly small he traced that gallant sorter to a still suburban square he watched his opportunity and seized him unaware he took a life preserver and he hit him on the head and mrs brown dissected him before she went to bed and pretty little alice grew more...