Being sick in the Foundation Faith of God was not fun. Especially when it was an ongoing anxiety about sleeping. I mean, think about it. Who do you tell when you haven't slept well? Your spouse? Your parent? Your coworker or siblings? 

I didn't have any of that. We were all just trying to make it through, man. 

So enjoy the stories about ailments in the Foundation. Cringe at your leisure. I'm fine now, so don't worry about it. 

And don't forget to review, share, and support this podcast! 

You'd think that a cult would have a single, controlling doctrine that informed every moment and every action in the lives of its adherents, wouldn't you? Something like this world is an illusion, so everything we do is an attempt to break the illusion. Or our existence is a simulation. Or animals are the actual gods. 

Or something else. 

But the Foundation Faith of God didn't really, in my experience, have a single uniting doctrine. I explore more about this, why it was the case, and more about the evolution of the cult/commune from Scientology offshoot to, ultimately, the very productive and wonderful Best Friends Animal Society. 

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Part of my growing up in a cult has actually been the growing up I've done outside of the cult. This is a story about good, friendly, generous people helping me find my feet, find my voice a little, and also start finding myself. Because when I got out of that cult, I was in a thick, shy shell. But that wasn't my end form, friends. That was me in embryo, and this story is the story of me breaking free. 

At least a little. 

So join me at high school dances full of bangs and perms. And remember to review this podcast and tell your friends about it. 

Let's get into some of the intricacies of the day-to-day of cult/commune living. In this episode, I share some of the bizarre, sometimes alienating double standards propagated by the Foundation and its members. Things to do with sex, the terrible outside world, and more. Tune in and remember to leave a review!

I'm usually down with just telling my stories and being as chill as possible. But several things combined to make this episode necessary. And talking about being essentially erased over and over again by the people who 'raised' me was necessary- because voices will be heard. I will be heard. There appears to be a little anger left in the basement, which I'd like to excise, so this episode was even therapeutic. 

Please understand, my intent is not to tear down or deliver a scathing indictment or even to write an exposé of the organization the cult has become. I admire their work. But I can admire their work and want it to continue and still speak the truth. We were there. They had us, abandoned us, used us to do hard labor, and neglected and even abused many of us. All that mixed in with plenty of good times. 

Truth needs to be spoken. I have committed to not live a life of fear. So I spoke the truth- with no animosity for anyone. 

For the final episode of Season 1, a lengthy story about a major crush I had. Yes, a crush. On a Scottish girl. The years that I carried this torch became incredibly formative for me and I'm grateful for all I learned and all I did to improve myself. 

The last little bit of the episode is a reflection on a moment I had tonight with one of my kids and the juxtaposition of that moment with my life growing up. I get a little... energetic about that. 

As always, thank you for tuning in. Thank you for sharing. Remember to click on the support link below. And on Instagram and Twitter and other social media, you can use #TalesFromACultInsider and #CultInsider to find a community of listeners. 

It's part two of the short series about my mother. Our relationship, as I tried to describe in the last episode, was odd at best. We ate Chinese food sometimes. We both read horror novels. We spoke sometimes. But when I shared my honest feelings, it made her angry, so I learned to not do that. She had a life full of what was important to her and surprised me by a late-in-life emergence as a businesswoman. Listen and you will soon discover I have mommy issues. 

As always, I'd love your support. Rate, review, share. You can share on Twitter and Instagram, and if you use #CultInsider as a hashtag, I'll see it. 

See you next week for the next episode! 

Now for two episodes about my mother. There's a lot of me doing my level best to get across the experience/relationship I had with my mother- which wasn't all bad, but was not what most people would understand. So listen and you'll probably get a new appreciation for your own parents ( I really hope so at least) and you will also find out that this world is full of so many variations and relationships. Maybe this will help us all gain more empathy for those we inhabit this world with. 

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I love water today. I was scared of it when I was younger. Here's where I tell you why and take the opportunity to share some specific stories about how we commune kids spent our days. The YWCA in Dallas features prominently, as does weird, ritualistic baptism. 

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"I'm an equal-opportunity weirdo." Ah, the joys of an unscripted podcast. In this milestone 20th episode, I share lots of details about the school I spent seven years attending. The one created by the cult because of... reasons I can only really speculate about. In many ways, it was awesome. In a few ways, it was meh. It was basically home school, but with less home. 

Don't forget to review, tell your friends about, and maybe even support this podcast!