Talk Bravely: Real Women. Real Money. Real Life Stories

If you've ever googled, "how do I know I'm experiencing burnout?" or "what does an executive coach do?" then this episode is for you!

Honestly, am I the only person who didn't really get what a leadership coach does? Well, tune in to this episode and (like me!) you'll finally understand the importance of one!

Emily has nearly two decades of experience helping organizations and their staff confront their vulnerabilities and build sustainable, scalable solutions. She shares why prioritizing your own health and well-being (personal and financial!) helps you be a better, more effective leader and how engaging a coach can help you reach your goals.

• Leadership can be so fulfilling, but also draining.

• It's okay to define success as working towards an executive level position. But it's also okay to change your mind, take a pause, reflect, and shift.

• The warning signs of career burnout. This Harvard Business Review article says the following are questions women should ask themselves:  

  • Am I regularly physically and emotionally exhausted? 

  • Are you more cynical and detached than usual? 

  • Are you feeling like you're not contributing anything meaningful, where you once were?

• How taking a medical leave of absence allowed Emily to dig deep and realize how to live in her values. Her three priorities now are Integrity, Health and Wellness, and Contribution - both to herself and her community.

• Emily's approach to money and how her saving up to 50% of her income each year allows her to travel, pursue professional development for her own career, and yes, allowed her to take time off when she experienced the physical effects of burnout.

• What exactly it means to work with an executive coach:

  • Will help you define your values and identify what you want in life.

  • Will be a thought partner to help YOU figure out what YOU want to pursue.

  • Will identify the voice of your inner critic, and hold you accountable for doing the hard work for yourself.

• When do you know it's the right time to work with a leadership/executive coach?

  • If you want to grow as a leader

  • If you're feeling stuck in something in your life

  • If you're trying to make a big decision about yourself or your family

  • If you feel like your life is out of balance

• Companies will sometimes provide development money to hire a coach. Don't forget to know your company benefits!

• HR tips:

  • What to understand when searching for a job right now

  • How current managers, facing the challenge of letting employees go, can do so compassionately

On LinkedIn

At Emily Silberstein Coaching

1. Harvard Business Review article on Burnout.

2. International Coaching Federation to find coaches in your area

On this episode of Talk Bravely, I chat with Haley, a marketing and digital strategist based in Bentonville, Arkansas, who happened to lose her job at the very beginning of the economic slowdown due to COVID-19. However, just two months later, and with a lot of hard work, ingenuity, and networking, Haley found another job and begins work with her new company.

Haley joins Talk Bravely for today's mini-episode to talk about her experience being let go, strategies for job searching during a hyper-competitive job market, and how she used innovative marketing techniques of her own to help set herself apart from other applicants. 

What we're talking about:

• Being on contract instead of being a full-time employee pre-Covid.  And then signs that her position would possibly be eliminated starting as early as February.
• How Haley was notified that her position was eliminated, given that she was based in a virtual office many states away from her leadership team.
• Being a remote worker can sometimes lead to missed signals about how a company is dealing with situations like Covid. Haley's consistency at asking questions and learning as much as she could allowed her to be prepared for upcoming decisions impacting her role.
• How Haley stayed in a positive headspace after being let go, BECAUSE she was prepared and saw the signs. She shed a few tears, and then got to work.
• The first move after being let go was to tell people. Though it may be hard on our ego, posting to LinkedIn and Facebook to start networking was critical in her ability to start her job search quickly.
• LInkedIn is a powerful tool. It's a search engine for recruiters, but also for the broader world. And just like any social media platform, it's helpful to amplify others when on there. Use the like buttons, and re-share when you see contacts searching for new work or clients.
• If hiring a resume writer is in your budget, consider hiring one to help re-do your resume. A professional (Haley paid $250) writer can tailor your resume to your field and also help get through the electronic sifting process many companies use.
• Haley notes that working through her resume also gave her confidence.
• Creating a video resume really amped up Haley's ability to be noticed.
• Haley got EXTREMELY clear on her budget. She took stock of all income and potential sources of support including unemployment and freelancing in order to get through the months of job searching.
• Through this process, Haley's definition of success has shifted. The power of remote working, and spending time reflecting on what she wants out of this next season of life, has allowed her to reimagine what working and living means to her. 

Haley's Steps to Job Searching

1. Speak Out - Let people know. Post on social media that you are now available.
2. Get Positive - Reflect on the direction of your career and dig deep on what will bring you most joy in work. Seek out confidence through personal reflection and conversations with others.
3. Budget - Get clear on your budget. Make adjustments immediately once you assess your situation.
4. Get Help - Consider hiring a resume writer if your budget allows for it or other professional support like interview coaching
5. Innovate - Create a video resume. Take inventory of your skills and determine if freelancing is a possibility

And don't forget to follow @talkbravely on Instagram as well.

On this episode of Talk Bravely, I chat with long time political advocate Mary McClelland about what exactly a career in campaigns and advocacy means, how she's spent two decades doing good for our democracy, why it's important to set work boundaries when the stakes always feel so high, and why some of us (me!) just can't seem to ignore the negative voice inside our head that elevates our confidence issues. 

Mary's stories of working on campaigns, elections, and advocating for good public policy across the country are inspiring. Early in her career she worked to improve our country and political elections by advocating for better campaign finance laws, and then went on to work with Rock the Vote registering millions of young people to vote for the first time. Mary recently worked on large scale education equity issues, and currently serves as Director of Communications for the Environmental Law and Policy Center.

What we're talking about:

• How growing up in a civically-minded home with a focus on being involved in the community influenced her career.
• What does a political advocate actually do as a career? Educate, activate, petition, organize.
• Money matters in campaigns and elections - and political advocates can make a difference to even this imbalance out.
• How Mary lived her early years on a nonprofit budget, and learned a lot on the job her first year.
• Politics is local. We don't have to work in DC to make a difference as advocates.
• But Mary went to DC, young, without a job, and with the benefit of a friend's kindness (and couch).
• How Mary has worked on large scale political advocacy from environment, to voting, to campaign finance reform, and education.
• The myriad of jobs in the political advocacy sector are broad - tech, marketing, programming, curriculum development, learning and training, legal, business development, communications, fundraising, etc., and yes, women can make a difference AND make a strong salary in the field.
• Yet if you don't have boundaries around time at work, advocacy and politics can be a 24-7 job because the stakes feel very high at all times.
• How Mary has had to work really hard to counteract her sense of loyalty, and sometimes her confidence gap, that has kept her in jobs a bit longer than she probably should have.
• Mary considers herself a saver - mostly - and when she was ready to buy a home as a single woman in Chicago, found the lack of information, confusing acronyms, and non-linear process a barrier. And frankly the process is scary and mysterious for so many first time buyers.
• What's in the future for Mary? She doesn't know, but she knows she'll stay in political advocacy work. It is what she does, and it is what she is passionate about. 

Connect with Mary:

On LinkedIn

A lighthearted conversation about writing, publishing, fanfiction, fanfic cons, and the business side of writing books. Marisa Wolf of the Four Horseman Universe series joins Talk Bravely about being the first in her family to go to college, her experiences with a few independent publishing houses, what exactly fanfiction is, how she's trying to be a better saver instead of spender, and what being published means to her monthly income and sense of security in the world.

Marisa grew up in New England, moved to work in the South, and built her career in Texas.  After a few decades of work NOT in the book business, she decided to finally finish all the half-started stories in her head and has published her books and short stories over the past few years.

As of this recording, Marisa has a short story in an anthology released May 29th and it is not only a best-selling new release, it is also the number 1 top selling science fiction anthology on all of Amazon. Along with her published short stories, she's co-authored two novels, and her second was a best-selling new release on Amazon as well.

1. Marisa decided a few years ago to officially pursue writing. Kacey Ezell, a friend of hers, set a goal to get published and when offered the opportunity by a publisher to turn a short story into a novel, this friend reached out to Marisa to partner on it together.
2. How she learned the business side of books while publishing her first book.
3. Her passion for Fan Fiction - and even what is - which started when reading Anne McCaffrey at the age of 8.
4. The myriad of ways publishers work with authors and that Marisa works with a handful of large and independent publishers.
5. Advances for books are the bet that a publisher makes that a book is going to make a certain amount of money. So you get that in an advance and then if your book earns out, for the cost of making it, marketing it, and the advance, then you earn royalties. 
6. How advances and royalties work for anthologies written by multiple authors.
7. Her love for her Independent Publisher Chris Kennedy and his transparent way of writing contracts and sharing information and data about how much money books cost to both get into the market and how much they make.
8. 14:15 How Marisa spends the money she makes from writing books ~ invests in herself through professional development, travel to conventions, donates to her favorite charities.
9. The exhaustion that comes from writing and editing and promoting, but it's a good exhaustion, and her writing process while holding a full time job.
10. When editing a novel, she partners with her co-author and reads the book out loud in order to tighten up the writing.
11. Whether or not she reads her amazon reviews.
12. The purpose of conventions in the writing world, her first DragonCon, and the first time she signed one of her own books.
13. The con world and how it approaches diversity and equity issues.
    1. Be clear on what she can still spend on
    2. Shift to borrowing books instead of buying books (except the ones she really wants)
    3. Shifting her treat mentality for a job well done from food to 'nerd things'
    4. Setting mini goals and keeping a spreadsheet to track expenses
    5. Getting on the same page as her partner
14. How Marisa has forced herself to be a saver for the past 2 years and her tips for saving
15. How Marisa is now planning to travel the country in an RV while writing more and thinking about the next phase of her life. And how this decision might be really transformative as she realizes she equates having 'things' to having security.

Facebook

LinkedIn

Instagram - @bookdogs

Marisa Wolf Author Page

Four Horseman Universe Page

And don't forget to follow @talkbravely on Instagram as well.

On this special Arkansas edition of Talk Bravely, I chat with Meredith Lowry, an attorney at Wright Lindsey Jennings in Northwest Arkansas.  As a patent attorney and avid tech geek, Meredith has fifteen years of experience working to help companies protect their inventions, brands and businesses. She's one of only a few female patent attorneys in Arkansas, so her practice has worked with a number of women inventors and businesses through the years.

Meredith describes herself as a feminist and wants to help make Arkansas the most friendly state for Woman-Run businesses. One of the ways she's doing that is through launching a new initiative called Woman-Run, a networking group of women who trade resources and boost each other's careers.  The group is made up of women that have started their own business or are thinking about starting their own business or inventors that are testing the waters throughout Arkansas.

We talk about all things COVID-19, the impact of it on woman-run businesses, and provide resources and ideas for women business owners.  

What we're talking about:

• How the organization she helped her law firm found, Woman-Run, connects current and aspiring women business leaders and owners through networking, mentorship, education and resources that address the unique needs of women in business.
• How Woman-Run supports women across Arkansas looking to connect about running their own business. The goal is to learn from each other.
• Meredith found that women weren't participating in traditional networking that chambers or organizations put on, and often aren't registering their businesses officially. 
• How women can plug in to Woman Run - both facebook and a monthly newsletter.
• What women run businesses are in need of right now: funding, childcare, how to run a safe business, and creative ways to partner with others and change business models in order to increase their revenue.
• When you support a woman run business, you're supporting the other woman run businesses that support them. Things you can do based on Fundera article linked below:
• • Know who they are
  • Promote on social media
  • Partner with them for your business
  • Join a professional organization for women
  • Offer workshops
  • Make sure your panels have women on them
  • Host a networking event for women-run small businesses in your community
  • Host your next event at a woman run business
• The stronger women get in business, the stronger women will have a voice in ALL areas of the world as well, including politics and how decisions are made.
• Women often don't file for official employment designations with their state or the IRS when starting a business, working in the gig economy, or consulting. And often don't have a relationship with their local bank. Woman Run provides resources on this to set women up for future success should a similar program to the PPP become available or necessary in the future.
• There shouldn't be anything 'magical' about starting your own business as a woman. Resources are available to shine a light on what's needed and support women.

Connect with Meredith:

• LinkedIn
• Instagram
• Facebook
• Wright Lindsay Jennings Law Offices and Woman Run

Links of Interest for Woman-Owned Businesses:

• 20 Ideas to support women owned businesses
• Black women owned businesses in Arkansas
• Maxine's Tap Room - a favorite of Meredith's

Don't forget to follow @talkbravely on Instagram as well.

Actor, karate-school manager, Apple Genius (before there ever was such a thing), journalist, philanthropy executive, and potential future politician? Yep, Toni has lived each of these lives and is ready to talk about it!

Journalist and communications expert Toni Johnson is a former deputy editor and staff writer for the Emmy-winning website of the Council on Foreign Relations, she spent four years as a reporter for Congressional Quarterly where she covered a range of legislation. Her work has appeared in numerous major publications, including the New York Times, the Washington Post, CNN.com, and more.

Toni is currently CEO and founder of Mission OutLoud. In her former role as head of knowledge and influence for the Heron Foundation, Toni led the foundation's long-term public influence and engagement strategy. 

Basically, Toni is a huge politics and policy wonk - which are some of my favorite people.  She's been awarded prestigious journalism fellowships and has a masters in international journalism from American University. I also happen to put her up as one of the thought leaders I follow on social media.

This episode was recorded before the tragic murder of George Floyd and the protests that are ongoing as of the release date. It's important to note this is why our conversation revolved around COVID-19 and not current events.

• We discuss Toni's early ambition to become a lawyer, yet surviving a school shooting at Simon's Rock impacted her greatly and shifted her career trajectory.

• Toni gave herself a 5 year plan to pursue acting in NYC instead of going to law school and during that time acted, managed a karate school, temp'ed for a nonprofit, became a certified apple technician, and then finally decided to pursue journalism.

• How she believes her upbringing and Montessori education and then attending college at a young age at Simon's Rock helped shape how she learns and approaches life.

• Her story of becoming guardian to her siblings just before going to grad school for journalism, how she dealt with homelessness in DC the week before 9/11, and how American University believed in her so much they offered her more scholarship and access to a supporter who provided an apartment.

• Her career trajectory working her way through DC's elite political journalism organizations and how she chose a job when offered THREE jobs in one day.

• She defines herself as a "policy journalist and not a politics journalist" during her time in DC.

• Toni's career life lessons for aspiring journalists (33:00):

  1. Journalists will have a long life. It's okay to remake yourself.

  2. How people treat you at work is important. And we need to rely on our network to build us up so we don't get caught up in toxic environments.

  3. There's a tension between being a doer and a helper and what you need to do to further your own ambitions.

  4. "Being fearless and talking bravely is really the life lesson for everything." (35:00)

• Life lessons about money as a successful Black woman.

  1. Her period of severe poverty growing up and how that impacted her ambivalence to money right now.

  2. She sees money as a tool, and in the past has had a distrust of the markets. 

  3. The discomfort of making a lot of money working for a philanthropic foundation and questioning the impact of how she's serving the poor.

  4. The philosophy that if she has enough money to splurge on cable, she's going to be okay.

• The idea that it's never too late to get in to politics - and maybe how Toni thinks she's a little more Bernie Sanders than Joe Biden - and might run for local office one day

On LinkedIn

On Twitter @ToniOutLoud

Connect with Talk Bravely:

Instagram: @talkbravely

www.talkbravely.com 

"Work has to be intellectually interesting to me as a person.  And has to be values aligned."  ~ Crystal Combs

This episode of Talk Bravely covers executive recruiter Crystal Comb's own career journey and how she went from Goldman Sachs, and a job that would provide what she thought was her goal of financial stability, to work in the social impact sector.  In the evolution of how Crystal thought about work, finances, and purpose driven work, ultimately she came to realize that, "in the balance, I cared more about the net positive social impact than I did about the actual dollar amount I was making." 

Crystal now specializes in finding the perfect match for social impact organizations seeking to fill positions in their top executive roles, and particularly specializes in working with organizations that place an emphasis on race equity.  We talk about her own journey in finding a career path with meaning, what her experience with being "under-employed" taught her, and get her advice on transitioning to the mission-driven sector, working with a recruiter, job-hunting during COVID-19, and whether or not salary negotiation is a thing of the past.

I'll also note that Crystal is the reason I took up yoga a number of years ago, which I can't thank her for enough.  AND, once upon a time she effectively recruited me as a Vice President of a fantastic organization that absolutely changed my life for the better.

• What is the social impact sector and what does the future of hiring look like given COVID-19
• Crystal's career trajectory and how she went from an MBA in Barcelona to a temp job at Goldman-Sachs, to finally finding her purpose serving social impact organizations focused on race equity in their leadership teams.
• Her relationship with money:  "I'm really driven by money.  I think it's okay to say that. I began to realize in my early career just how much money mattered to me and how it factored into my sense of stability in the world." Yet she realized financial stability, "as a standalone, that is not enough for me.  I can't just pin my worklife to money.  Even though that's why I went to business school."
• What exactly is an executive search firm and how they find the best applicants possible for a position - pro tip: that LinkedIn message may not be a scam after all!
• Why she expects the next year to be, "a competitive moment to land a role," and provides a clear reason why organizations across the country will be more conservative in their hiring decisions. 
• Clear, concise advice on salary negotiation questions for the social impact sector.
• Working with a financial planner:  "She looked at our financial picture and said, 'here's the thing: you either need to make more money collectively or you need to make different choices.' We didn't want to make different choices. We wanted to eat the food we wanted to eat and take the trips we wanted to take."  So I sought out full time work.
• The advice her financial advisor gave her that nearly made her weep - in a positive way.

On LinkedIn

At Axis Talent Partners

On this episode of Talk Bravely, I have the privilege of chatting with Brandi Johnson, personal stylist and leader in a popular fashion tech company.  Brandi has degrees from Brown and UC Berkeley and early in her career was a partner at a national consulting firm where she coached professionals on achieving their goals.

She quickly earned a reputation for style along with training and found herself regularly coaching colleagues on looking their best.  Fast forward a few years and tons of hard work, and Brandi found herself training with Stacy London from TLC's What Not To Wear. After that experience, Brandi decided to merge her two passions of coaching and fashion and founded her styling company Brandeis Nicole.

Since officially starting her styling business in 2012, she's styled over 1000 clients, built out a company that allows for in person and virtual styling, and now also has a successful career in a leadership role with a well-known fashion tech company.

• Brandi's career path and bold decisions to grow her business

• How Brandi's matriarchal family structure influenced her personally and inspired her love for fashion and personal style.

• Where Brandi got her confidence to start her own business after considering herself a company woman.

• How she went full time in her personal styling business and two months later worried if it would be sustainable.

• Her encouragement that spending money on your business and investing in your business can feel very similar but are in fact very different - and explains how founders can get clear on the two.

• The benefit of other women championing her business launch and how she used a pricing strategist to help her determine how to price her services.  

• The process of thinking about increasing styling prices or increasing scale.

• What to expect when working with a personal stylist - honesty, fit, and fun. 

• www.brandeisnicole.com

• @brandeisnicole on instagram and facebook

• Style for Smart Cookies facebook page

Don't forget to subscribe to the podcast!

On this episode of Talk Bravely, we talk anxiety therapy, the cost of mental health support, being anxious during COVID-19, the Kardashians, and how to build a health practice with anxiety therapist Michelle Massi.  

Michelle is a licensed Marriage & Family therapist and has nearly two decades of experience working with youth, families and adults.  She specializes in Obsessive Compulsive Disorders, Obsessive Compulsive spectrum disorders, and anxiety disorders.  Until recently, she was the Associate Clinical Director at the UCLA OCD Intensive Treatment Program and has her own successful private practice with 4 therapists and a behavior coach.

Michelle has recently returned to work after taking maternity leave with her first child.  At work, she and her associates specialize in cognitive behavioral therapy to support a variety of anxiety disorders.  I'll also note that she's a highly sought after trainer and public speaker as well as passionate volunteer for the Concern Cancer Foundation and Chi Omega.  

What we're talking about:

• Coronavirus and anxiety trends in women.  "We're experiencing a whole different level of anxiety.  We're living in a world that is topsy-turvy right now…"
• When to seek out a therapist for yourself or your child: "Any time the coping skills you already have, that you are trying to use aren't working for you - that's when it's a good time to seek out therapy."
• "Therapy is an extra helper.  It's like getting a tutor when your child needs extra help at school.  It's not a negative."
• What therapists are concerned about now: "When we return to what normal will look like, how we'll get kids re-integrated back into school is a big conversation." 
• Michelle's career path, how an experience with her freshman college chemistry professor changed her trajectory, and how she decided to not be a sex therapist.  "I failed first year chemistry in college.  I went to see my professor… he basically said if you don't get an A in my class you're not going to go to medical school. I was 17 at the time and walked out and burst into tears.  That was my dream."  I'm personally so glad Michelle shared this story of frustration - and I shared my own in response.  Weed-out courses, cut throat academic cultures, and professors acting like gatekeepers particularly impact women in a negative way and we need to share these stories bravely so future students will know how to respond. 
• The importance of a mentor on Michelle's career and how she built her business to such success that Kim Kardashian had her on as a guest on Keeping Up With The Kardashians.
• How to find a therapist wherever you live. 
• How much should I expect to pay a therapist?  Insurance/co-pay versus Out of pocket.  And how long should I expect to be in therapy.  "When it comes to anxiety disorders, CBT is supposed to be a very short term therapy… it really depends on if you're going to do the homework between sessions.  I always tell clients at about 3 months, you should see some progress in your treatment if you are doing anxiety therapy with a CBT therapist.  If you're not, then maybe you're not working with the right therapist or maybe you're not putting in enough effort.  But you really should see a significant amount of change."  

Connect with Michelle:

Michelle's Anxiety Practice:  www.anxietytherapyla.com 

Instagram:  @anxietytherapyla

Anxiety Links and Tips:

• Check your insurance coverage for therapy sessions first and understand your budget for getting support.  Most therapists will list their price range.
• Psychology Today
• Therapy Den
• ADAA - Anxiety Depression Association of America
• IOCDF - International OCD Foundation
• NEDA - National Eating Disorders Association

Ever wonder what young music professionals go through on their way to making it big? On this episode of Talk Bravely, I chat with Alyssa Click, a young professional singing actress and music teacher living in Boston.  Alyssa  recently completed a Post-Graduate Fellowship in Arts Administration at the Boston Conservatory at Berklee (2019), holds a Master of Music degree in Opera Performance from the Boston Conservatory at Berklee (2018) and a Bachelor of Music degree in Vocal Performance from Northern Arizona University (2016). 

To say she's an impressive performer is an understatement.  But on this episode, she joined Talk Bravely host Dr. Kerry Moll to talk about the business side of the music industry, how working musicians are paid, what being represented by a manager means, and how she creates steady streams of income through her talent and a few (NINE!) side hustles.

What we're talking about:

• The money side of the music industry - and how it's expensive to be a professional musician.
• "As a musician, you ARE your business" and have to treat your financial life as a such.
• "Knowing when to shut my laptop and take my screens away is critical for mental health."  Alyssa shares how she juggles nine 'side jobs' while pursuing her dream AND the benefit of a good therapist to keep her mental health in a good place.
• "Do your research… always look to find out what the typical pay looks like."  It's not always easy to find out what range a contract for performance should be, but the information IS out there.
• How she's transitioning to online music work and videos during social isolation in the COVID-19 hotspot of Boston. 

Connect with Alyssa:

• www.alyssaclicksoprano.com
• @Alyssaclicksoprano on instagram and facebook

Links of Interest for Aspiring Musicians:

• AGMA (opera/classical musicians) - https://www.musicalartists.org/about-agma/how-does-agma-support-you/
• Actor's Equity (musical theatre/straight-acting) - https://www.actorsequity.org/aboutequity/
• YAP Tracker (mostly classical music) - http://www.yaptracker.com/register/?uReferral=TEMPO5304 ($5 off for new member subscriptions with this link)
• Backstage (musical theatre, straight-acting, commercials, and TV/movie work) - http://fbuy.me/v/alyssa_1544 ($10 off for new members with this link)
• Playbill (musical theatre, straight-acting, commercials, and TV/movie work) - https://www.playbill.com/ (free, no login credentials)

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