Talk with Francesca

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Breakups are messy, messy business. And sometimes, the hardest part isn’t the heartbreak, it’s the emotional hangover that lingers long after the door has closed. That “if only” moment keeps creeping in: “If only he wasn’t a gaslighter… a manipulator… maybe even a narcissist…” Here’s the hard truth: the most insidious behavior is often the one no one else can see. It leaves you questioning yourself, doubting your intuition, and wondering why didn’t I see the red flags sooner? We all ask ourselves: Why did I stay so long? Did I mistake drama for passion, or distraction for love? Do I miss the person or the version of them I hoped existed? Practical Tips for Moving On When you’re stuck in the “what ifs” and “could’ve been,” try this: write a letter to yourself as if you were your own best friend. Tell her: Remember reality, not the fantasy. Stop romanticizing someone who showed you who they really are. Focus on the truth, not the moments you wished were different. The reality is what matters. Acknowledge your part, then move on. Reflection is fine, but don’t turn the lesson into a life sentence. Stop replaying the reruns. You did the best you could at the time. That’s enough. Forget the would’ve, should’ve, could’ve. You deserve the whole meal, not leftovers. Walking Away Is Badass Let’s get real: walking away can be unapologetic… even a little sexy. Leaving isn’t a failure, it’s proof that you knew your worth. A man will never grow up if you keep justifying his messed-up behavior. You decided to retire from the relationship, girlfriend, so stop entertaining renovations. Whatever was the last straw, the door had to close. Settling is not an option. Stop Digging in the Trash Here’s some practical advice to help you stay free: Tip One: Stop explaining your exit. You don’t need permission or validation.  Tip Two: Stop checking his social media. Staying glued to his updates keeps you in the drama. Tip Three: Never apologize for loving yourself fiercely. So, to anyone staring at that empty chair this holiday, claim it. Sit in it. Sip something strong. Smile. And love yourself. Remember, you deserve someone who goes out of their way to make it obvious they want you in their life. Cheers to you, fierce, unapologetic, unstoppable.

We need to talk about something a lot of women fall into without realizing it, the mothering trap. It starts with love: you want to take care of him, make his life easier, show how much you care. But before you know it, you’re not his partner anymore… you’re his parent. And nothing kills attraction faster than that. You don’t know exactly when it happened, but somewhere along the line, you became my partner's mother. And it became a huge turnoff. It started innocently enough, wanting to nurture him in the name of love. Slowly though, nurturing turned into managing.  Packing his lunch for work, laying out his clothes, being sure he took his vitamins, drank enough water and got to bed at a decent hour. But when you were out to dinner with friends and he asked you what he should order and at that very moment you wanted to crawl under the table. Suddenly it hit you that you were not marrying a man but raising one. GIRL STOP THAT CRAP.  It’s not sexy. You’ve accidentally become his mommy, and newsflash: men don’t want to sleep with their mothers (if you catch my drift). And it’s not as simple as just “stopping.”Because underneath all the caretaking is control. You’ve convinced yourself he needs you but he doesn’t. He’s grown.You’re doing all this because it feels like love… but it’s really about anxiety, fear, and habit.  The Fix Stop rescuing him. Let him step up.He’s capable so let him be. Don’t confuse control with care.The more you take on, the less he does. And the less he does, the less you respect him  and the less attracted you feel. That’s how relationships slide from passionate to parental. .  How to Know You’ve Slipped Into “Mom Mode” Here are a few red flags that you’ve crossed over into parent territory: You pack his lunch or snacks for him. You tell him when to go to bed or nag him about sleep. You remind him to wear a jacket. You check his calendar to make sure he didn’t forget something. You remind him to call his mom. You offer unsolicited advice about his health, finances, or habits. You organize or pack his things before a trip. Sound familiar? Then it’s time for a reset.  A Word for the Guys  if she suddenly stops doing everything for you, don’t pout. Don’t make her feel guilty for treating you like the adult you are.Step up. Handle your own stuff.You’ll be surprised how much more attracted she becomes when she sees you leading instead of leaning. The Takeaway When a woman stops mothering her man, she creates space for desire  and that’s the part that’s likely missing. You can be loving without being his life manager.So step back, breathe, and let him be the man you fell for. Because love thrives between equals, not between mother and son.

Yeah yeah, we’ve all debated this before. But let’s be honest; this gets murky fast when one person has (or had) feelings.Let me just say it:
I actually don’t think men and women can stay close friends if there’s romantic history or lingering attraction.
And I personally wouldn’t date a guy whose “best friend” is a woman he once had feelings for. WHY? Because then I’m not just dealing with a friend, I’m dealing with a “what if”or “a maybe someday”. A human pause button on his emotional availability. Could You Stay Close Friends With Someone You Once Wanted? Be real. Could you?Or better yet, imagine your girlfriend has a male best friend she used to hook up with. She swears it’s nothing now. Would that sit well with you? Exactly. I didn’t think so. Sometimes girlfriends (and boyfriends) can feel when there’s more going on.
Even if the words say “just friends,” the energy says “unfinished business.” Tune in to hear the whole segment.

Today we are talking with Lori Gottlieb.

Yeah yeah, we’ve all debated this before. But let’s be honest; this gets murky fast when one person has (or had) feelings.Let me just say it:
I actually don’t think men and women can stay close friends if there’s romantic history or lingering attraction.
And I personally wouldn’t date a guy whose “best friend” is a woman he once had feelings for. WHY? Because then I’m not just dealing with a friend, I’m dealing with a “what if”or “a maybe someday”. A human pause button on his emotional availability.Could You Stay Close Friends With Someone You Once Wanted? Be real. Could you?Or better yet, imagine your girlfriend has a male best friend she used to hook up with. She swears it’s nothing now. Would that sit well with you? Exactly. I didn’t think so.Sometimes girlfriends (and boyfriends) can feel when there’s more going on.
Even if the words say “just friends,” the energy says “unfinished business.” Tune in to hear the whole segment.

Yeah yeah, we’ve all debated this before. But let’s be honest; this gets murky fast when one person has (or had) feelings.Let me just say it:
I actually don’t think men and women can stay close friends if there’s romantic history or lingering attraction.
And I personally wouldn’t date a guy whose “best friend” is a woman he once had feelings for. WHY? Because then I’m not just dealing with a friend, I’m dealing with a “what if”or “a maybe someday”. A human pause button on his emotional availability.Could You Stay Close Friends With Someone You Once Wanted? Be real. Could you?Or better yet, imagine your girlfriend has a male best friend she used to hook up with. She swears it’s nothing now. Would that sit well with you? Exactly. I didn’t think so.Sometimes girlfriends (and boyfriends) can feel when there’s more going on.
Even if the words say “just friends,” the energy says “unfinished business.” Tune in to hear the whole segment.

Think mismatched libidos mean a relationship is doomed? Think again. Evelyn Resh and I are going all in, sex, shame, desire, and why giving yourself permission to enjoy is the ultimate act of self-love. If you’re ready to break free from guilt and step into your power… this episode is for you.