Talkin about Midlife

It has become more important than ever that organisations focus on developing their leaders to cope with the Volatile, uncertain, complex and ambiguous (VUCA) times that we work in. We have been talking about VUCA for the last 15 years, it has come and to be honest it is more dysfunctional than every as organisations struggle to deal with the many complex adaptive challenges that they are facing; coming off the back of the pandemic many organisations are simply drowning in these problems.

Today I talk to my friend and colleague Deborah Pascoe who is a leadership development expert about how we develop these leaders and why it is important. Deb began her career in the corporate sector where she worked in a range of business roles before quitting in her thirties to work out what she really wanted to do. She fell into consulting by accident really and realised very quickly that it was her great love. Now thirty years later she has worked with many organisations from all different sectors and has a deep and broad understanding of leadership and adult development.

This is a varied conversation where we talked about:

why leadership development is so important and why organisations should invest in it,

why collaborative problem solving is integral to solving adaptive challenges,

How organisational purpose keeps us anchored in tough times and the ability to articulate our organisational purpose is the single biggest driver of employee engagement,

How our individual north star helps us to navigate the intracacies of life when we lose our way,

Why people get stuck in the personal development and how learning trauma stops us from pursuing growth on a personal and professional level,

What the learning cycle of the brain is, the dopamine-opioid cycle and we we can hook into that we can keep on learning and growing throughout our life.

You can find Deb at Phronesis Foundation.

As the world we live and work in has become more complex, we have had to change the way we live and work. Our global society has gone through significant change but the way we create and build businesses has not.

How we approach organisational design, redesigning organisational processes for complexity has been the most challenging aspect for many business owners regardless of their size. Unfortunately many of our big societal processes and systems are broken and falling apart because the very foundations and rules that guide them do not account for the full complex picture of what is actually happening in their business and the externalities that they produce are having far reaching and detrimental impacts on the wider communities they exist within. I have been waiting for years for someone to tackle this head on and there are a few brave visionary souls out there who are ready to do this.

Christine McDougall is one of them. Christine is a visionary, a writer, a pioneer and self-described edge dweller. She created Syntropic World to educate and build systems and processes to support the running of business in a VUCA world that support the health of the planet. Christine works at the level of societal and organisational change by educating individuals and teams on how to create the day to day of running their business so that it supports our society to thrive. Her mission is to educate people to build sustainable organisations that support the health of the planet.

In this podcast we hope to challenge your thinking on how you run your business. You will also hear about Christine’s midlife transition and how it has supported her to be radically honest with herself and step into her wise woman power.

You can find Christine at www.syntropic.worldorld/, on facebook at Syntropic World and Instagram @syntropicworld

Midlife is a time that tend to show up the vulnerabilities in our bodymind. We experience these as physical or mental health issues, challenges in relationships and sometimes just a really strong needs to make some big changes in our lives. In this episode I am joined by Dr Beth Claxton to talk about wellbeing in midlife and beyond. Beth is a board certified OBGYN and a certified functional medicine practitioner who reside in Northern Arizona in the USA.

In this episode we talk about many aspects of our health and wellbeing in midlife. We talk about Beth’s own midlife transition and how it has brought her full circle with the desires she had at a very young age to work in a healing role of some capacity. Beth has always had a strong sense of inner knowledge that healing has been a pathway for her.

In the podcast we cover:

Beth’s experience in healing and where it can be most powerful,

They key areas to focus on in midlife for your overall wellbeing, Stress Management, Sleep, Exercise and Food and explore each of those,

We talk a little about MHT/HRT and how it can support your health and welbeing,

The work Beth offers now in her functional medicine practice such as her 10 week Ayurvedic course and how it offers us a different perspective through which we can connect with our bodymind and Beth’s upcoming Detoxifying Menopause summit that is coming up.

During the podcast we talked about Athletic training for perimenopause women and the reference Beth mentioned was Athlete Project 51, which is information about how women can train for their own physiology.

You can find Beth at www.flagstafffunctionalmedicine.com on instagram and she has a facebook group is Flagstaff Functional Medicine

In this episode I am joined by my colleague and friend Moira Cormack to talk about Inner child work and how powerful it is for all of us to do. Moira has an interesting life story and in many ways all of her life experiences have lead her to understanding this work deeply and work with clients to do this work.

In her coaching work, Moira focuses. specifically on supporting people to heal their emotional pain with inner child and body based healing. Moira is currently in the process of creating an inner child online course so it seemed like a good time to talk about what inner child work is all about.

Moira talks about the inner child and how we can find our inner child somatically because it lives within us in our body. Our nervous system stores every experience that we have in our body and we can connect to our inner child through sensation and the language of the felt sense. The felt sense is the language of the body. We talk about how it is the unmet needs of our inner child that are coming out in our adult relationships and that we project these needs onto our partners to meet. It is not the role of our partners to provide those needs, they are not our parents. Part of this work is learning to find your own inner parents and adult parts of yourself so that you are able to regulate and soothe yourself when you find your inner child parts triggered.

Moira shared many personal experiences of her own life journey, how midlife has been a powerful transition for her to do this deep work herself, that illustrate how highly impactful this work is. We can see through the gift of hindsight how all of her life experiences and work experiences make her the perfect person to teach and coach deep healing experiences with inner child work.

You can find Moira on instagram at @moira_coach or on Facebook and her link Tree is linktree/Moira-Coach

I recently went to see the Barbie movie and loved it. There were so many great messages in there and the dealt with what are extremely complex cultural messages and phenomena in a way that was digestible for even the youngest members of the audience.

So today I wanted to reflect on those messages and points and unpack the patriarchy a little bit and how it impacts all of us and share some stories of my own about how I have seen how patriarchy gets in the way of women mentoring and supporting each other. Of loving and complimenting each other, of being able to brag and cheer for each other. This is where the bucket of frogs story comes in.

Sisterhood wounding is a real thing and many women suffer from it. Let’s face it, most of us have many wounds from our teenage years when it comes to the sisterhood. Patriarchy pits women against each other, we learn to not only hate each other but we hate ourselves. We hate the feminine aspects of ourself and this is what disconnects us from our bodies. In the long run, that wound causes signifiant damage. In stops us from speaking our truth, we lose our voice. It stops us from having deep, honest, vulnerable relationships with each other. We disconnect from ourselves and from each other.

I offer some tips and guidance about where to start when it comes to sisterhood wounding and healing the collective trauma that lives within all of us.

If you want to join my Magnificent Midlife course click on the link and sign up.

Midlife is an incredibly transformational period of our lives and when it comes to our relationship with our sexual selves it is almost a revolution that most women feel they experience. Midlife can be a new chapter in our lives. Today I have women’s sexuality and empowerment coach Gabriella Espinosa with me to talk about how we can thrive sexually in midlife and beyond.

Gabriella experienced her own revolution in her midlife transition and she talks about it in this podcast how it become an invitation for her to get to know herself on multiple levels. Her story is an inspiration for those of us who may feel lost and disconnected from their bodies or those of us who have strived and achieved the long held vision for their life for years only to find in midlife that all our own methods of success no longer work for us.

In this podcast we talk about:

We have to re-pattern our nervous system to reconnect and rebuild our relationship with pleasure. The key to rekindling our relationship with pleasure is to become sexually self-sufficient is doing it from a place of fullness and we can only do this when we learn to connect with what feels pleasurable to us.

How our sensuality is the pathway to rekindling the relationship with pleasure that we feel inside of our bodies.

We talk about our life force energy, Eros, and how connecting with it helps us understand our body.

Erotic blueprints. What are they, how can they help you connect with your own erotic wiring, how they can help you understand your partner’s to experience better sex both on your own and in relationship.

How in midlife we have to bust up our cultural conditioning and internalised belief systems around pleasure to connect with our sexuality.

When we learn to connect with our own pleasure we befriend our body and learn to treat it as an ally. This helps us to advocate for ourselves both in the bedroom and in the Doctors office.

You can find Gabriella on instagram @gabriellaespinosa and at www.gabriellaespinosa.com.

If you would like to try the erotic blueprint quiz please click on this link

Embodiment, it is a word that we hear a lot. What does it really mean?

It is our ability to sense and be present with our internal feelings, sensations and emotions. The skill of being able to sense this all of this is called interoception. Interoception is available to all of this but most of us don’t know this, it often takes a bit of practice. Sometimes when we have trauma or lots of stress, it can be difficult for us to be with our interoceptive awareness.

In the podcast I talk about:

What embodiment is, and the difference between feelings and emotions. They are often used interchangeably as the same thing. The are not;

Why does embodiment matter? How it helps us to be more present to our life in the moment, it builds our resilience, it improves our mental and physical health, it connects us to our pleasure - both sensual and sexual;

How our life experience leaves a trace in our nervous system. Our body creates meaning maps in our implicit memory which is important for our survival but sometimes these old maps hold us back and get in the way of our personal growth;

Why you can’t think your way out of being with your emotions and feelings and a somatic approach is the only way to heal these old stuck patterns of stress and trauma;

Why embodiment is liberating. Our body is the house we live in, we become less reactive and make better decisions and choices, we project our emotions less and this deepens and enriches our relationships with ourselves and others. We let go of the old stories and rewrite the story of our life going forward. This is empowering and it improves not only our experience in the world but the connections we have with others.

We often hear the term self sabotage and it is generally referring to a behavioural response where someone is stopping their own growth, success or connection with others in relationships.

Is it really a thing and do we understand what is going on in the person’s response?

I often talk to my clients about the concept of ‘getting in our own way’. That is where our autonomic nervous system is acting out a response from the past in the present moment because we are triggered. Do you find yourself attracting the same type of people in relationships, getting the same feedback at work or finding it really hard to shift some patterns of behaviour no matter what you do or try?

What is really going on here?

We have stuck stress or trauma in our body and the stress cycle is uncompleted so we have this stuck survival energy in our body. It can be either stuck in ‘on’ high sysmpathetic arousal where we might feel constriction, tension, anxiety, hyper alertness or just being stuck in a constant state of fear. Or we can get stuck in ‘off’ where we feel disconnection, frozen, exhausted, flat and just have no energy to connect with others. Either way this is stress physiology that is stuck in our body.

When we work with the body somatically we are able to unwind those old patterns that have become well worn pathways in our nervous system. The path of least resistance for our body to travel down.

Dr Kathryn Theodosis joins me for this fantastic podcast where we are talking about our amazing bodies, in particular our nervous systems. Kathryn is a chiropractor who works with clients to allow their nervous system and energy system to move out of a state of stress and fear and into one of greater safety and connection. This shift allows a greater sense of safety to be held by the nervous system and the energy system, giving space for us to connect with parts of us we have not felt safe to prior

Kathryn started off as a traditional chiropractor and was introduced to network spinal analysis a gentle mode of adjustment using contact points on the spine. This transformed her own healing experience and she completed further professional training in network spinal analysis, a modality of chiropractic care created by Donald Epstein. This then lead her to two years of professional training in Integral Energetics with Dr John Hare and Dr Fred Swan, who have developed a modality that works with the body’s energy system.

In the podcast we talked about:

Different nervous system responses and how they show up in our bodies,

How our life experiences and our life story are held in our muscles and organs and we can often see this in a person’s posture and stance,

How network spinal allows the body to unravel, reorganise and integrate its life expreriences in a gentle way allowing it to continually adapt and become more flexible,

Our brain loves novelty and new experiences and this helps our brain stay young and have capacity to create new neural pathways as we age,

How repressed emotions and old trauma and stress are held in the body and how that can sometimes manifest as pain,

The heart and its energetic field are another area where we pick up on the emotions and energy of the environment around you. Often it is our heart reaction picking up on the emotions of others that reacts before our conscious brain,

Different body holding patterns such as rigidity of the spine and what the somatic story behind that is,

What practices suit what nervous systems. We talked about meditation and it not being for everyone and how in fact it can for some people, reinforce a trauma pathway of avoiding their body,

Why creativity is so important for our emotional well-being,

The current trend in cold water exposure and heat through saunas and why they don’t suit everyone,

Women’s bodies and listening to our cyclical natures, taking queues from our body and not punishing ourselves for not able to be ‘on’ all the time.

You can find Kathryn on her website www.theenergychiro.com or on instagram @drkathryn.theenergychiro

Today my good friend Richie Angelo joins me to talk about skin through the major rites of passage we go through. Richie is a beauty therapist who is a skin guru. She has incorporated further study into her practice and uses both kinesiology and energetic work to treat her clients.

In this podcast Richie explains how our skin is more than just the boundary of our body, it is part of the detoxification system of our body and it interacts with all other body systems. That our skin is part of our immune system and often represents on the outside what is going on in the inside for us. How we can tell by our skin whether it is hormone changes or toxicity in our body based on where our skin is changing on our body.

We decided to frame the conversation around our rites of passage: Maiden, Mother, Maga, Crone and how our hormonal changes drive significant changes in our skin.

if you want to skip through sections to get to content that is relevant to your life stage, the time stamps are:

17:10 Maiden, the teenage years

21:50 Mother - the impact of pregnancy on our skin

28:45 Maga - midlife and the menopause transition

45:55 Crone - Our early 60s onwards

Of course there are lots of gold moments throughout, Richie’s knowledge and wisdom about skin is incredible.

You can find Richie at www.madebyself.com.au or on instagram @_madebyself_