Talking Shift with Marissa Q. Paine

This week Marissa is thinking about gender roles and how they factor into the success of a relationship (13:22) while James has found another quote to spend time reflecting on (13:22). The fight of the week is so fresh it continues briefly as they spend time reflecting on angry chew pt. 2 (18:14). For the big idea, James touches on 5 things to watch out for when working to grow personal maturity (30:20).  For homework, listeners are asked to examine their most recent relationship conflict and reflect on how a more mature personal response would have resulted in a better outcome (35:40). The show wraps with hosts answering a listener's question: are men and women created equal (36:26)?

This week Marissa struggles to get her life together (3:17). A recovering work-aholic, Marissa is still searching to find the perfect work/life balance as her new exercise bike that was supposed to help collects dust in the living room. James spends time reflecting on the Ralph Waldo Emerson quote, “envy is ignorance and imitation is suicide,” (11:02). The fight of the week focuses on racism in America and how it affects the Black experience (14:31). This week's big idea is the importance of majoring in your mate (26:31) and James assigns listeners to get reacquainted with their partners for homework and learn more about what makes them who they are (35:25).

This week Marissa schools James on poop protocol (3:13) while James is focused on transitioning to the one true indicator of old age: bifocals (8:19). The fight of the week deals with the couples’ differing definitions of proper restaurant etiquette (10:44). James goes deeper into 3 major benefits of conflict in relationships (21:30) and tasks listeners with confronting some of the elephants in your relationship (31:12). This week, the hosts get to offer advice to a listener struggling with navigating abuse in a very public relationship (31:35).

This week, Marissa has a recent question trending on social media on her mind (1:46). What seems to be an easy choice for both the Dr. and Mrs. leads into an even larger discussion surrounding the stigma with engagement rings altogether. James has his mind focused on the current state of academia and what the current switch to majority online school will mean for the job market in the coming years (13:02). During the Fight of the Week, they dive deep into cheating: defining what it is and giving insight on what to do about it (17:58). The big idea was so big last week that it’s spilling over: boundaries, part two. They take the time to explore the importance of personal boundaries within a marriage and the complex intersectionality boundaries have with faith (28:54).

This week Marissa has a bone to pick with major television shows and the way they portray first ladies (1:41). Honestly, she’s over the constant angry black woman stereotype and other microaggressions this role perpetuates. James is grappling with something a little heavier this week: to buy or not to buy… Jordan’s that is (11:20). He’s thinking about sneakers. On one hand there’s a level of nostalgia, who knows he might get back on the court one day, but then again, we’d hate a repeat of the watch debacle of last season. Decisions, decisions, ultimately they’ll need your vote so be sure to tune in this Thursday in the Facebook group-- live at 7PM CST. This week’s fight of the week involves another popular celebrity couple, Steph and Ayeesha Curry (16:53). More of a conversation than a fight,  is it healthy to want attention from anyone beyond your spouse? Tackling this question leads into this week's big idea: boundaries. James gets clear on important boundaries crucial for developing and maintaining a successful marriage and Marissa uses personal experiences to highlight the importance of fulfilling all your needs first and not relying on your partner to feel whole. Most importantly, homework (39:26)! Spend time reevaluating your relationship boundaries to make sure they make a strong foundation.

This week Marissa is experiencing ‘bride brain’. Yes, apparently it’s a real thing and she is ready to get her brain back after the vow renewal (2:02). James, of course, has something philosophical on his mind and has spent the week reflecting on the quote “what you hold in your mind shows up in your life” (5:43). James and Marissa then sit down with Rachel Jackson, Pastor Rashon Jordan and First Lady Jordan to continue last week's discussion on blended families (8:57). All three of this week's guests are currently living in blended families and spend time sharing their personal experiences with blending families in dating and marriage.

This week Marissa is thinking about football (2:05). Previously an avid fan, Marissa hasn’t been tuning in for the past few seasons as a way to stand in solidarity with Colin Kaepernick and his protests. With the uncertainty surrounding COVID, she wonders if football is coming back at all, and even if it is, will she watch? James spends time recalling a recent dining experience that left him concerned that not all businesses are making the same effort to keep patrons safe through the pandemic (6:21). The fight of the week is prompted by a simple question: do you like your new doors (11:20)? Recently, the Paines underwent home renovations under the direction of a professional organizer and her team. James had reservations about the process initially that weren’t entirely relieved by the finished product. The big idea this week focuses on the danger of 2 common absolutes and James provides 2 major reasons to never use them in your relationships (18:13). For homework, James asks that you notice just how often you use these absolutes in your relationship and make a serious attempt to reframe the language (26:04). Finally, the Dr. and Mrs. get a chance to help a listener who needs advice on maintaining boundaries within blended families (27:12).

This week Marissa can’t stop thinking about dancing, something she needed y’all to know that James can’t do (3:33). James spends time reflecting on the stupid tax paid throughout his life, most recently a $3,000 watch he just had to have during last season (7:25). The Fight of the Week this week started out focused on the shoe carpet, something Marissa believes doesn’t even exist, and evolved into a question of her credibility altogether (9:37). The big idea this week is focusing on emotional intelligence and James gets specific about mental muscles your relationship will benefit from strengthening (14:38). For homework, go through each of the 5 muscles outlined by James and rank your current success in those areas, then come together with your partner and share (28:38). James and Marissa will be doing this assignment along with you this Thursday at 7PM CST live on the Successful Marriages Facebook page.

This week Marissa has home renovations on the brain (2:46) and James dives deep into feelings of uncertainty surrounding the upcoming school year for their rising college junior (7:10). The fight of the week is centered around  differing opinions on the need for a professional organizer in their home (9:40). James dives deep into this week's big idea: the power of alignment, and stresses the importance of being aligned within yourself before you can be aligned within your relationship (18:20). Is love really the most important thing in relationships? This week’s homework involves spending time in self-reflection then coming together as a couple to talk more about what your individual expectations mean for the relationship (30:00). Finally, the Dr. and Mrs. got the chance to answer a question from a listener who has been married for 15 years with children and is worried that her partner doesn’t support her dreams (30:41). The dialogue continues on the https://www.facebook.com/successfulmarriages/ Facebook page where the Dr. and Mrs. will be going live EVERY THURSDAY at 7PM CST.

Welcome back to another season of the Life, Love, and Leadership podcast with Dr. James and Marissa Paine! Since it’s been so long, the Paine’s start this episode off by refreshing your memory, or introducing you to the typical rundown of a podcast episode (1:41). Marissa speaks candidly about adjusting to the family’s “COVID normal” (7:53), and new this season, we get to hear what’s going on in James’ head: finally, his time to shine! (12:23). The Fight of the Week comes from a recent Red Table Talk interview featuring Jada Pinkett and Will Smith (14:24), and James takes the time to dive into this week’s big idea: love in quarantine and how to thrive in a relationship when life gets messy (22:41). After speaking on the four key steps to maintaining a strong foundation in your relationship, the Dr. and Mrs. assign homework (31:54)! Don’t be fooled, this is not your grandma’s lesson plan; the Dr. and Mrs. have come up with work you can do at  home to make your home, work. The dialogue continues on the Successful Marriages Facebook page https://www.facebook.com/successfulmarriages/ where the Dr. and Mrs. will be going live EVERY THURSDAY this season at 7PM CST.