If you’re even slightly chronically online, you already know the internet is currently losing its mind over the royal wedding of RileyJ and Vita. We are emotionally invested, spiritually involved, and honestly think you should be too. Meanwhile, over in real life, Catman casually finished a TWO YEAR walk across Australia like it’s just a normal little side quest, and Gwyneth is like “yeah I get that” … babe no you absolutely do not. We kick things off with Random Thoughts, which starts chaotic and somehow spirals into an existential crisis about becoming versions of yourself you’ll literally never meet and the deeply unsettling concept of being forgotten. Cute, fun, light listening. Then for reasons still unclear, Gwyneth and Anne-Thomas fully CRASHED a funeral and are now unpacking that experience like it’s normal tea-time conversation. There is actually no way to prepare for this story, so don’t even try. We wrap things up with our Edit on Reddit, where sister betrayal enters the chat and we lay down the official, legally binding (not actually) sibling law. Some things should never be said, never be done, and yet… here we are. Straight to jail.