Zen Roshi, Lola McDowell Lee, (who is also an ordained Christian minister) explores issues that are common to both Christian and Eastern thought to illustrate the difference between theology/philosophy and religious practice.

She explains that it is easier to join a religious group and hang around it than it is to truly struggle with oneself. There are many who participate in religions just so they can tell themselves they are doing their religious duty. They learn a religious system or structure and think they have learned some truth. Not so.

Simply wishing will not change you. It requires effort. We must work to be sufficiently free of delusion—which makes us more pliable and receptive continue learning.

We live like a child in our father’s house—with little probing. We live under great, powerful laws of God’s will… but have we ever seen or truly understood these laws?

When is the last time you were in awe of nature?

The word “awful” used to mean being in awe. Now we think of it as something bad, to be feared. Feeling awe — of this mysterious thing we call life—to some it is joyful. To some it creates fear.

It can be your rock, your faith.

Philosophy rises from wonder. True religion arrives from awe.

Lola recounts the tale of the general who visits a teacher. His question for the teacher: What is it we use every day and don’t know? The teacher served him muffins and tea.

Try to stay in this awe—don’t rationalize it away. Jut remain in awe.

Jesus said, ““If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow Me.” (King James, Matthew 16:24).

This is conversion.

Lola tells a metaphorical story of God and an Old Man. God says to him that he receives nothing but endless requests for favors and things, so he wants to hide. He asks an old man, where can he hide? The old man tells him the perfect place to hide—is inside of man. Then those that seek him will only be able to succeed after a sincere investigation within themselves.

If someone asks you if God exists, what is your answer? Do most who say they are believers know it for a fact that He exists? Do atheists know for a fact He doesn’t? So what is one’s answer to be? It depends.

Lola tells a tale about a woman in India who clutched her baby during a flood and is saved from the flood.

Sep 20, 1987

Note: Unfortunately these talks about the Bauls were posted out of order. But the sound quality is much better on this one, which is also the most detailed in its explanation of who the Bauls were. And this talk develops into a wonderful, rich discussion of consciousness.

Lola says that not many people have heard of the Bauls because they had no organization or dogma or scripture. They were freewheeling practitioners who loved dance, music and poetry—and looked within.

Zen Roshi, Lola McDowell Lee, explains how the Indian Bauls were a group of Hindus also were joined by a sect of Sufis when the Muslims invaded India.

The Bauls did not use the term “God.” They focused mainly on the “essential man within you.”

Baul literally means “affected by the winds.”

The doctrine of Shakti and the follower, or Shakta.

Shakti refers to the divine feminine cosmic energy and creative power that underlies all existence. It's the active principle of the Godhead, responsible for creating, sustaining, and dissolving the universe.

Shaktas, or believers in Shakti, felt that the ultimate divine being is best understood and worshipped as the feminine principle, and manifests in countless forms as different goddesses.

Lola recounts the story of Krishna’s origins, per the Bhagavad Gita.

Bhakti Yoga, the practice of devotion thru submission to find the secret knowledge.

Lola explains that Being and Awareness is like love. Love can only be known by loving. It can’t be described or taught, it needs to be experienced.

She extends the metaphor to swimming. You can’t be taught how to swim outside the water. But if you go into the water and can’t swim, you fear you’ll drown. So it seems like an impossible, paradoxical situation. Spiritual practice carries with it a similar paradox.

Lola discusses Ramana Maharshi.

She talks about how, when we sit in silence, one puts a downward pressure into that which is within us. Eventually that pressure releases something inside that allows one to become “a man of the heart.” The pressure allows the Being to overcome the Ego.

What is consciousness? That is, Lola says, the primary question of all religion. The search, in consciousness, to grow in consciousness.

Through observation and alertness… of all the activity within and without—we can stir a moment of clarity, of insight. In that flash of perception consciousness sees, and knows instantly what comes from within and what comes from without.

Sep 13, 1987

Note: this talk has some sound issues, but I found it valuable enough to include the bulk of it anyway. It’s about 8 minutes shorter because the cassette player apparently started warbling and slowing down badly at the end—during the discussion of Prakrit and Parusha. There is another talk on this subject available here if you are interested. It’s a fascinating doctrine.

Zen Roshi, Lola McDowell Lee, explores the accounts of the Indian Bauls - a religious group that included members of Vaishnava Hindus and Sufi Muslims.

They had a freewheeling spirit. And worshipped the Hindu goddess, Kali, the Divine Mother.

The Bauls sought after the meaning of the Novel Man, a concept not unlike the True Man of St. Paul.

Kali and Krishna. While many saw them as opposing forces, the Bauls worshipped them together, as complementary aspects of the divine.

We think we own our possessions, our thoughts, our beliefs--the more the better… but in reality they own us.

Our daily life and our Being coexist. But first comes Being.

Lola recounts the tale of the King and the Nun… the King makes her a queen, but even as queen, she continues to secretly pray to God.

The notion of the downward movement of Prakrit into the unconscious. Some people are afraid to push downward. But they need not be.

Like a scientist, we should see what we can discover inside—including our sensations and our feelings.

Zen’s goal is much like that of the Bauls, but Zen is more direct.

Prakrit and Purusha are two fundamental and distinct principles that explain the nature of reality. All of nature comes about and is moved by the non-moving—like a magnet moves magnetized items on a board with an unseen power. While it appears the items on the board are active, they are not moving under their own power.

The entire universe is the unfolding — as the interaction between Prakrit and Parusha.

When you become unattached from Prakrit—then everything follows you. Like your shadow cast ahead of you when the is sun behind you—you try but cannot follow your shadow as it moves. But turn toward the sun — the Truth — and your shadow follows you.

Oct 18, 1987

Zen Roshi, Lola McDowell Lee, gives a talk themed on Easter. (While Lola was primarily a Zen teacher, she was also an ordained Christian minister).

Lola reads from the Gospels exploring the meaning of Jesus asking, “Why have you forsaken me?”

Symbols of Easter include a baby chick, pecking its way out of an egg to become that which he was destined to be. That is also a good metaphor for the human situation.

Lola discusses various religious traditions, including that of the Mayans of Central America and Jewish Mysticism.

Nothing is taken away from the outer. And nothing is added to the inner. It is a union of the two.

Nirvana is Samsara — and Samsara is Nirvana.

The history of Constantine, the Roman emperor who became a Christian—and changed the world.

No one becomes truly religious on the order of another. We must see to it ourselves.

The story of Adam and the tree of good and evil—as well as the tree of life.

Who is the True Man that goes in and out of the gates of your face?

Jewish mysticism describes the Heart of Hearts, and the Heart of Stone. The internal battle. Our will can cut through the heart of stone… with a sword of truth. It takes a self-emptying of one’s self aggrandizement.

The meaning of Passover.

You have to empty yourself of your miseries… as well as your best parts.

Many of us pray for things, and removal of miseries… without praying (or meditating) to know God himself. It’s Spiritual Hedonism.

Apr 19, 1987

Zen Roshi, Lola McDowell Lee, explores the meaning of Verse 15 of the Isha Upanishad:

"The face of Truth is covered with a brilliant golden lid; that do thou remove, O Fosterer, for the law of the Truth, for sight."

Lola discusses the prevalence of guilt in Puritanical America. How some of us feel guilt our entire lives, and how many, sometimes because of religious traditions, feel they shouldn’t enjoy life. We should look at this guilt, and try to understand it.

Meditation should not be an escape mechanism.

Buddha taught that it is not life that brings sorrow—but our demands on life that causes suffering.

Becoming Being… that is the end of desire and suffering. The more one feeds desire, the more it burns.

Lola discusses a poem byRabindranath when he was dying.

What is it in you that knows?

Lola discusses sex and celibacy and its relationship to religiosity.

She recounts the tale of two monks who encountered a young woman unable to cross a river. In spite of their vows, the monks carry the woman across the river and set her down. The younger monk later confronts the elder, troubled by having touched a woman in violation of their vows. The elder responds with the question, "I set her down on the other side of the river. Why are you still carrying her?"

Some people mistake the rejection of life as a sign of religiosity. When Siddhartha was fasting and emaciated, he had a few followers. When he finally asked to be fed, his followers abandoned him. When he wasn’t emaciated, they no longer found him an acceptable master.

We should look at the things we desire in life, our attachments, and see what we identify with.

The notions of Birth and Non-Birth.

The ego is very interested in one’s karma. When the actions of the mind are exhausted, then transcendence is possible. But we need the dissolution of the ego, and instead to identify with the Divine Being in us. Then that is liberation.

Lola May 3, 1987

Zen Roshi, Lola McDowell Lee, gives a detailed discussion of the philosophical and historical backgrounds of religious traditions as they developed in India—Vedas, Brahmanism and Hinduism.

Lola explains the meaning of many of the Hindu terms and explores the Isha Upanishad.

Shakti, the Great Mother or feminine energy of the universe. We all have in us a power. That is shake.

Hindu Tantra versus Buddhist Tantra.

Prakriti and Purusha.

Maya.

As mentioned in the Bible, your actions in this world show your faith.

A medicine is true if it cures. Your experience, not words, is what matters. Consciousness does not evolve without effort.

Everything in your body is used material, recycled from the past.

Surya (the sun god) and Agni (the fire god). Surya is knowledge. Agni is action. The combination leads to the truth, to the Supreme Vision and Divine Bliss.

We all have the same name: “I.”

May 10, 1987

(Note: original recording audio is not ideal, but Lola's message is great)

Zen Roshi, Lola McDowell Lee, gives an ind-depth explanation of the practice of sitting, as this talk is during a sesshin at the temple.

Who is the Buddha? What is birth and death?

Zazen is learning about life by dying to one’s self. Be quietly alert, dropping the ego and identifications.

Our mistake is taking the phenomenal to be the noumenal. But they are really two aspects of the same thing.

Emotions confuse us and cause us pain. Learning how to sit with pain. Everyone has pain. Complaining about pain is your ego at work. One transcends pain by focusing and going beyond the phenomenal.

What do you want from your sitting practice? Instruction in meditation. Breath through the Hara to find the calm. Radiate your peace.

The evolution of Zen from India and Hinduism to Taoism and China to America, where we are now (in 1987) the new caretakers of the tradition.

The ringing of the bell as part of the transmission process. One must learn how to ring it properly.

Then Lola leads a Rinzai chant before the students enter Sesshin.

Nov 29, 1987

Zen Roshi, Lola McDowell Lee, discusses the meaning of the Zen saying, “Joy in the morning. Sleep at night. What else?”

When we “do not know,” then we don’t concern ourselves with obsessions about outcomes. That is the meaning of “no mind.”

Start by discovering what “no mind” is not.

Is there a gradual acquisition of “no mind?”

Is there an enduring entity called self? Is there a self to improve? Do not accept of reject an answer without learning for yourself directly.

Is the thinker different than his thoughts?

Just like we have frames of images in our vision, which are just a series of flashes which we might think are continuous… so do we have a series of thoughts, a thinking mind, that we might think are continuous… but they are not.

How do we use the mind to study the mind? A knife cannot cut itself. How can you, living in time, know what time is?

The “I” that develops as one grows in childhood grasps at immediate wants. Then, eventually, it also wants to be socially accepted. Those two wishes cause conflict in us.

Your knowledge and memories are held in your subconscious. Your instincts, heart beats, etc, are held in your unconscious.

It is this unconscious that is the gateway to reality.

There is a method to examine your self moment by moment—called Prajahara.

July 18, 1981

Zen Roshi, Lola McDowell Lee, discusses Chapter 10 from the Tao Te Ching (Paul Carus translation)

"What can be done?

"Who by unending discipline of the senses embraces unity cannot be disintegrated. By concentrating his vitality and inducing tenderness he can become like a little child. By purifying, by cleansing and profound intuition he can be free from faults.

"Who loves the people when administering the country will practice nonassertion.

"Opening and closing the gates of heaven, he will be like a mother-bird; bright, and white, and penetrating the four quarters, he will be unsophisticated. He quickens them and feeds them. He quickens but owns not. He acts but claims not. He excels but rules not. This is called profound virtue."

We often ask, “What is the purpose of life?” Is it to make money? Have sex? Raise a family? Power? These are goals, but they are not the meaning of life.

He who lives with a purpose loses his life. What? Live with no purpose?

Learn to cope with yourself.

When your teacher asks, What is your original face? You do not want to tell him all your reasoning. You must show him.

If you learn there is no answer, then you’re free.

In logic there is the question: If the many return to the one, then to what does the one return?

The three questions the Emperor asked of Bodhidharma.

Yes, of course you will have goals. But remember to be present, in the Now, for Now is the day of the Lord. Don’t let your thoughts about the future or the past allow you to miss living today.

The question isn’t "What is the purpose of life?" The question is: How do we live this life… this gift of life we’ve received. That’s what matters.

Lola explores the notions of the masculine mind and the feminine mind in all of us. Aggressive versus Receptive.

The story of Socrates and the Sophist.

June 28, 1981

Zen Roshi, Lola McDowell Lee, explores the notion of patience in practice. And time.

For nearly twenty years, Hon, a layman, studied under Master Egon. Several of the students went out to the edge of the district and Hon looked up at the falling snow and said, “Snowflakes as nice as these do not fall elsewhere.”

We are all in such a hurry. But time is a state of mind—full of anxiety about the future and the past. If you are patient enough, you will not miss yourself. The Buddha sat and sat and sat… in no time.

Lola recounts the tale of the old man and the young man, traveling together to a gated village that closes when the sun goes down. They asked their boatsman if they could make it in time. He replied, “You can reach it if you don’t hurry.”

The young man hurried, and the old man just plodded along. When in his haste the young man fell into a ditch, the old man was too feeble to help him. So the old man continued on… and arrived at the village in just the nick of time.

If you wish to be spontaneous, you cannot pose. If you have posed your whole life. It won’t be easy to stop the habit.

Be silent and watchful—and aware—and you’ll be able to see your habits.

The story of the old man who was dying and asked his son to go find a teacher and learn to meditate. So the son goes to a teacher and says, “My father would like to see my meditative face before he dies. How long will it take?” “Three years answered the teacher. So the son asked, “What if I work really hard at it?” Then 30 years.

The five senses and the biblical reference to the single eye.

Those who know use words differently than those who do not know. The sense is not in the word—but in the user.

July 5, 1981