Talks With B, Episode 5 “Childhood Trauma That Leads To Emotional Baggage”

On this 5th episode of Talks With B, I invited Ursula Khumalo, a close friend of mine, to come join me as we unpacked the cause of emotional baggage we might carry as adults caused by our childhood experiences. From feeling invalidated, to exhausted by the emotions of authority figures, to silent treatment and to current toxic habits, we discussed a lot!

We based our conversation on the following topics:

1. How has how you were raised affected how you deal with your emotions?

2. Silent treatment

3. What’s one toxic trait you have carried with you from how you were taught to deal with your emotions from childhood?

The main thing I wanted to highlight with this episode was just how valid your emotions are and the importance of doing some introspection to understand why you may behave the way you do now as an adult.

You are loved and you’re doing great.

- Benitah

Talks With B, Episode 4: “Transitioning from teenage hood to adulthood”

On this episode of Talks With B, l was joined by a close friend, Sanelisiwe Zwane, to talk about what life is really like when you’re entering adulthood. We mainly touched on the importance of finding yourself, friendships and the weight of the future.

We all adult differently, from others settling down early (kids, marriage etc) to others still living at home and trying to find employment, to others continuing with their tertiary education. It’s different for everyone and that’s an important thing to understand so that you don’t compare your journey with someone else’s. Your only competition is yourself, who you were yesterday, a month ago or even a year ago.

We discussed the following topics:

1. What has been the hardest part about going into adulthood?

2. Do you now look forward to growing up or there’s days when you want to go back?

3. What’s different about your friendships now compared to when you were a teenager?

4. What’s the biggest lesson you’ve learnt in this stage of life so far?

I hope you’re able to have this conversation with yourself or better yet, friends who can relate to you. You might be surprised how much you have in common with other young adults.

You are loved and you’re doing better than you think! Keep going and believing in yourself!

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Link to all my socials: https://linktr.ee/benitahbhero

- Love, Benitah!

Talks With B: Episode 3 “Dating Advice You Need”

Are you single and want to up your game when it comes to dating? Or maybe you’re in the talking stage with someone you really like but have your reservations about?

Well, I gotchu!

In this episode of “Talks With B”, l shared some of the dating “rules/tips” l apply whenever I’m talking to/dating a man. Safe to say I’ve had a pretty good track record with relationships because of how picky I am. (Don’t ever let people make you think that being picky when it comes to relationships is bad. Be as high maintenance as you want so you can attract people that will treat you right)

Here is some dating advice that you need:

1. You can’t love someone else, if you don’t know how to love yourself.

2. Just because they are a good person, doesn’t mean they are the right person.

3. If he wanted to, he would. If she wanted to, she would.

4. If you have to beg him to do the bare minimum, let him go.

5. If you’re confused about where you stand with him, you don’t stand anywhere.

6. They can’t read your mind, you need to communicate.

7. Relationships aren’t meant to complete you.

8. Their friends aren’t your friends and your friends aren’t their friends.

9. Your partner can’t be your only friend.

10. Relationships work better if the man is more inlove with the woman than vice-versa.

11. Don’t plan your whole future with your partner in mind.

12. Date someone for who they are, not their potential.

I will certainly be making a part 2 on this topic because there’s a lot more to cover but for now, I hope part 1 resonates with you!

P.S. Date smart, not hard.

Talks With B: Episode 2 “How to grow close with God”

In 2021 I started my journey with God. I was raised in a Christian home and I thought because I regularly went to church and prayed, that meant I knew God and God knew me. I could not have been more wrong. I knew OF God but I didn’t actually know Him nor have a relationship with Him.

Over the past two years, I have built a firm foundation in Christ and learnt so many things I’ve wanted to share with others. Well this episode is the beginning of that.

So, how does one get close/closer with God?

1. Surrender

2. Reading the Word (Bible)

3. Prayer

4. Fasting

In this episode I talked about these 4 topics in depth and supplemented it with scripture. God is our life source, when we are disconnected from Him we walk around with a void that can only be filled by Him. And I pray that this episode is a stepping stone on your journey with the Lord.

Scriptures discussed:

- James 4:8

Surrender

- Proverbs 3:5-6

- 2 Chronicles 7:14

- 1 Peter 5:6-7

- Proverbs 6:16-17

- James 4:6

- Ezekiel 36:25-27

Reading the Word/Bible

- John 1:1

- Deuteronomy 8:3

- Matthew 4:4

- 2 Timothy 3:16-17

- Romans 10:17

- Psalm 119:105

- Hebrews 4:12

Prayer

- 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

- James 5:16

- Ephesians 6:18

- Matthew 26:41

- 2 Chronicles 7:14

- Matthew 6:5-15

Fasting

- Matthew 4:4

- Jonah 3:5-9

- Mark 9:26-29

- Romans 8:5-8

- Matthew 6:16-18

Matthew 6:5-15

“And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full. But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you. And when you pray, do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words. Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him.”

“This, then, is how you should pray:

“‘Our Father in heaven,
hallowed be Your name,

Your kingdom come,
Your will be done,
    on earth as it is in heaven.

Give us today our daily bread.

And forgive us our debts,
    as we also have forgiven our debtors.

And lead us not into temptation,
    but deliver us from the evil one.”

For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.”

Matthew 6:16–18

“When you fast, do not look somber as the hypocrites do, for they disfigure their faces to show others they are fasting. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full. But when you fast, put oil on your head and wash your face, so that it will not be obvious to others that you are fasting, but only to your Father, who is unseen; and your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.”

Romans 5:5-8

Those who live according to the flesh have their minds set on what the flesh desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires.The mind governed by the flesh is death, but the mind governed by the Spirit is life and peace.The mind governed by the flesh is hostile to God; it does not submit to God’s law, nor can it do so. Those who are in the realm of the flesh cannot please God.

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https://linktr.ee/benitahbhero

You are loved beyond measure 🤍

- Benitah x

Talks With B: Episode 1 “Growing up with overachieving siblings”.

On our pilot episode we brought on Ursula Khumalo as a guest to shed some light along with the host, Benitah Bhero, on the realities of having overachieving siblings.

Ursula & I have both been in the shadow of older sisters who are great successes in their respective fields. This episode was based around the following questions:

1. Was there ever a time you felt pressured by your sibling’s achievements and if so, how did you deal with it?

2. What is your relationship with your sibling like currently, in comparison to over the years?

3. Do you think having a sibling who has achieved a lot impacts your relationship with your parents or others in general?

Feel free to answer these questions on behalf of yourself to carry the conversation on and possibly learn a thing or two about yourself!

I would love to connect with you all via the following socials:

Instagram: https://instagram.com/benitahbhero?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

Pinterest: https://pin.it/3sGDeRa

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@benitahbheroo?_t=8bAOvWJRxAL&_r=1

Remember - you are loved and everything is working out the way it is meant to, don’t give up!💌