Standards. Is there an elegant theory for when to enforce them and when to choose not to enforce them?

Parents face this question all the time. We have standards in our home! But our children do their own thing that flies in the face of our standards. Do we enforce the standard, or let it go?

Synagogues face this question all the time. To celebrate a Bar/Bat Mitzvah in our community, a family is expected to fulfill certain requirements, like attending Shabbat services a certain number of times. What do we do when a family does not comply with those standards? Do we enforce the standard, or let it go?

Employers face this question all the time. Post-pandemic employers have rules about in person attendance—e.g., three times a week in person. When an employee does not meet that standard, is the employer to enforce the standard, or let it go?

We also face this question of standards in larger contexts: our love of America, our love of Israel. We have standards for the kind of conduct we would expect to see in a democracy and in a Jewish homeland. When those standards are seemingly not met, what do we do?

Are standards mere suggestions? Do standards have teeth? Does violating standards have consequences?

Our study tomorrow will focus on a standard that could not be more clear or more explicit—priests with defects cannot officiate—and it comes from our most authoritative source, the Torah in the voice of God. (In halakhic terminology, it is called a deoreita command).

The Lord spoke further to Moses: Speak to Aaron and say: No man of your offspring throughout the ages who has a defect shall be qualified to offer the food of his God. No one at all who has a defect shall be qualified….No man among the offspring of Aaron the priest who has a defect shall be qualified to offer the Lord’s gift; having a defect, he shall not be qualified to offer the food of his God. Leviticus 21: 17 and 21.

Yet, in the face of this crystal-clear rule, repeated four times, the Talmud chooses not to enforce this standard in all cases, and offers multiple cases where priests with visible defects were nonetheless allowed to officiate.

What do we learn from the Talmud about when we might choose to enforce, and when we might choose not to enforce, our standards?

To what extent do our personal relationships with people who do not meet the standard but we nonetheless love matter?

To what extent does the community’s actual practice matter especially when it ignores the standard?