In honor of the holiday season, I talk about two terrible little blonde boys on a single-minded quest to get what they want no matter who or what gets in their way — it's A Christmas Story vs The Good Son.

I also posit my theories about an alternate universe where Ralphie is Macaulay Culkin and uses his Red Ryder BB gun for evil.

When it comes to people going too far in their pursuit of knowledge (and money), leading to ancient predators being unleashed upon the world that they need to then stop, Jurassic Park is nowhere near as good as The Mummy (1999, obviously). I tear into Jurassic Park much how a dinosaur should have torn into Dr. Hammond's awful grandchildren.

This week's comparison features 2 unexpected and quirky love stories that don't follow the typical Hollywood formula — it's (500) Days of Summer vs Tiptoes. I explain why Summer was in the right, prove my undying love for Kate Beckinsale, and I beg listeners to help me find the extended cut of Tiptoes.

I'm coming for The Dude sympathizers in this week's episode about movies featuring a hapless bystander who becomes embroiled in someone else's evil plots — it's The Big Lebowski vs Zoolander.

Instead of fighting with someone in your own family, watch fake families fight each other for your entertainment this holiday season! I get into the highly dysfunctional families of August: Osage County and Home for the Holidays and explain why I watch Queen Holly Hunter in Home for the Holidays every single Thanksgiving.

This week's episode features two movies focusing on a May-December romance with hot older ladies and whiny young boys — it's The Graduate vs Adore. I have a LOT to say about both and if I can get even one person to watch Adore, I'll feel I've done my part.

This week, I'm talking about 2 movies featuring a kind but naive protagonist who sails through life without a care in the world as absolutely absurd things happen around him and also he gets a hot blonde girlfriend — it's Forrest Gump vs Blast from the Past.

In honor of Halloween, I'm talking about two groups of PG Disney witches — it's Hocus Pocus vs Halloweentown. I'm hoping all the Halloweentown fans come out of the woodwork to talk to me about Debbie Reynolds, Judith Hoag's denim jacket, and why we can all still remember Sophie's spell. I also defend Sarah Jessica Parker and explain why Vinessa Shaw is the best part of Hocus Pocus.

These two comedies about pregnant teenagers share a few key elements but have much less in common than you might expect. Juno is almost saccharine in its quirky and indie music drenched love story, while Saved! is a witty and darkly comedic commentary on faith and society.

Enjoy my rageful comparison of 2 movies about aging country singers with substance abuse problems, the hot young star they take under their wing, and the price of fame — it's A Star is Born vs Country Strong. Spoiler alert: I HATED A Star is Born. I love the legend known as Gwyneth Paltrow. I welcome arguments about my opinions, I'm ready and raring to go in defending my Bradley Cooper rage.