We all know how hard it is to change our own behavior—and even harder to convince someone else to change theirs. In this episode, I explore two surprisingly effective ways to work around the ego, reduce resistance, and create real behavioral change.

Along the way, I compare two competing models of personal development: the popular "be, do, have" philosophy that focuses on identity and breakthroughs, and the "do, have, be" approach championed by thinkers like Alex Hormozi, where action comes first and identity follows.

Whether you're trying to improve yourself, influence others, become better at sales, or simply have more productive conversations, these ideas can help you sidestep defensiveness and make change feel less threatening.

Episode Description

I recently challenged myself to make 100 cold calls in 3 days—targeting dental offices, gyms, physical therapy clinics, and veterinary practices. In this episode, I share what actually happened, what surprised me, and what I learned.

If you're starting a business, I make the case that every founder should do 100 cold calls before worrying about websites, logos, or marketing strategies. You'll learn more from talking to real prospects than from weeks of "research."

For this episode, I discuss The Watercourse Way by Alan Watts, a book that explores Daoism through ideas like the Dao, yin-yang polarity, and wu wei—or effortless action.

The biggest theme that stood out to me is that the things we want most often seem to elude us, while the things we care less about arrive naturally. Looking back on my own life, I've repeatedly gone after one outcome—money, business success, achievement—only to receive something entirely different, like better health, meaningful friendships, or personal growth.

The book argues that much of our suffering comes from trying to force life rather than working with it. Instead of viewing reality as something to conquer, Daoism encourages us to move with the natural flow of events, much like water finding its course.

Another idea that resonated with me is that suffering and success often go hand in hand. Many accomplished people seem to go through significant hardship before achieving their greatest results. Rather than resisting difficulty, Daoism suggests that it may be an essential part of growth.

My main takeaway is that life may be less about control and more about alignment. The harder we force outcomes, the more resistance we create. Sometimes the most effective action is not doing more, but learning when to let go and trust the process.

Link to the book: https://amzn.to/4oCA4dC (affiliate)

One of the biggest lessons I took from What the CEO Wants You To Know by Ram Charan is that business is much simpler than most people make it. Great CEOs focus on a handful of fundamentals: customers, cash flow, return on invested capital, and growth. Instead of getting lost in departments, metrics, and complexity, Charan argues that everyone should understand how the business actually makes money. It's a short, practical book that helped me think more like an owner and less like a specialist.

Get the book: https://amzn.to/4uyEnIq (affiliate)

In this episode, we explore Tim Ferriss's powerful concept of Fear Setting—a practical exercise designed to help you overcome indecision, anxiety, and procrastination. Instead of focusing only on goals, Fear Setting encourages you to define your fears, examine the worst-case scenarios, and create plans to prevent or repair potential setbacks. Learn how this simple framework can help you make better decisions, take meaningful risks, and move forward with confidence.

Resources:

• Tim Ferriss TED Talk: Why You Should Define Your Fears Instead of Your Goals — tim.blog/ted• Fear-Setting Exercise Slides (PDF) — Fear-Setting Sample Slides

Fear-setting is a framework Tim Ferriss has described as one of the most valuable exercises he does, helping him evaluate risks, reduce anxiety, and make difficult decisions with greater clarity.

Welcome to *Taylor-Made Thoughts* — a series exploring mental models, psychological frameworks, and practical tools for improving thinking and increasing your chances of achieving meaningful goals. Each episode breaks down actionable ideas and mental tools you can apply immediately in your own life.

In this episode, I reflect on *The Psychology of Hope* by C. R. Snyder and explore six mental tools that can help you actually achieve your goals — including agency, “waypower,” flexible thinking, and building alternative paths when obstacles arise.

I discuss how these ideas connect to motivation, resilience, entrepreneurship, and personal growth, along with my own notes and reflections from the book.

Get the book: https://amzn.to/4v9D9Es (affiliate link)