Why Dads Are Burning Out — And What to Do About It | Jon Cooke, Honest Man Project

Jon Cooke built the Honest Man Project because 11 years ago he had nowhere to turn. Now he runs a free community helping professional dads navigate burnout, emotional isolation, and the pressure to perform at work and at home — without losing themselves in the process. Michael Wish and Jon go deep on why men don't talk, why that's killing them, and what actually works.

Key Takeaways:

1. Men don't need therapy-speak — they need a space to vent, a community that shows up, and the occasional honest compliment
2. The "bumbling dad" trope in pop culture masks a real crisis: male loneliness is at an all-time high and men account for over 70% of suicides
3. Young men are absorbing pressure before they even become fathers — figures like Andrew Tate fill the void when no healthy masculine example exists
4. The fix isn't complicated: start your day with gratitude before touching your phone, end it by writing down what went well, and take 10 minutes mid-day to just stop

Timestamps:

00:00 Introduction

02:00 The "useless dad" trope and its real impact

05:30 Andrew Tate, masculinity hijacked, and young men at risk

10:00 Why men solve instead of share — and why that backfires

15:30 The Honest Man Project: origin and mission

22:00 The power of a single compliment for men

25:00 Letting men vent before coaching them

28:30 Legacy question: what you don't want to regret

Guest: Jon Cooke is a men's coach and founder of the Honest Man Project, a free Skool community for professional dads working to balance career ambition with present fatherhood.

🔗 Find Jon: LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jon-cooke-230a662b/

Honest Man Project on Skool: https://www.skool.com/the-honest-man-project-4222/about

Subscribe, share this with a dad who needs to hear it, and join the conversation at teachcoachmentor.org.

More Mike:

LinkedIn: 💼 https://www.linkedin.com/in/michaelwish0802/

Podcast Site: 🎧 https://teachcoachmentor.org/

Company Website: 🏫 https://vellelogos.com

Personal Website: https://michaelwish.com

Shā Sparks has been podcasting since 2018 and coaching people through their hardest moments for even longer. What started as a cosmetology career turned into a decade of training others, which evolved into fearless living coaching and a podcast built around one question: what does investing in people mean to you?

In this conversation, Shā and Mike dig into the real engine behind personal transformation — how trauma becomes treasure when you stop running from it and start confronting it voluntarily. Shā shares the story of a combat veteran who'd never been asked how his recovery made him feel, and how that single question revealed how stuck we get in the story instead of the feeling behind it. They also get into the tension between AI and human interaction (Shā calls it "HI"), the phone addiction crisis across generations, the challenge of scaling coaching without losing authenticity, and why the answer is always "one person at a time." The episode wraps with Shā coaching Mike on his podcast technique live — including advice on finding a signature question that makes each episode unmistakably his.

Find more Shā at https://www.theshasparksshow.com/

Guest: Brandon Smith — Former U.S. Marine, Entrepreneur, Coach

Host: Mike Wish

Runtime: ~29 minutes

Brandon Smith spent six years as an enlisted Marine — motor transport operator with an artillery unit — before stepping into the civilian world and discovering that a 9-to-5 wasn't going to fill the void the Corps left behind. After stints at FedEx and an e-commerce company, he found his way to entrepreneurship as a path to restore purpose and serve others.

Now Brandon coaches veterans and first responders through the hardest stretch in business: going from zero to one. He runs Mental Momentum, a Skool community built around helping people land their first clients and transition into entrepreneurship.

In this episode, Mike and Brandon dig into the post-military identity crisis, why most new entrepreneurs focus on the wrong constraint, what 141 one-on-one calls and 20 straight rejections taught him, and why charging for your value isn't at odds with serving others.

1. [0:00] Intro and background — Brandon's Marine Corps service and transition out
2. [2:50] Why entrepreneurship? The identity gap after the military
3. [5:00] Lost sense of purpose and how entrepreneurship became the vehicle to serve
4. [6:00] Service and entrepreneurship are not incompatible
5. [6:45] Why veterans struggle to charge for their value
6. [8:00] Brandon's two-year journey and leading with free value too long
7. [9:30] Building teams to solve problems — the parallel between the Corps and business
8. [10:00] Who Brandon helps: veterans, first responders, and beyond
9. [11:30] The #1 problem: overwhelm — and how to create space before building a business
10. [13:00] Case studies: a former border patrol agent and a single-mother nurse
11. [15:00] Holistic coaching — health, relationships, mental bandwidth, and business are interconnected
12. [16:30] The real constraint: getting in front of people, not perfecting the product
13. [18:00] Every business is a people business — canvassing still works
14. [19:30] Mike's failed student coaching business and lessons from falling flat
15. [20:30] Brandon's rejection story: 141 calls, 20 consecutive nos, then the first sale
16. [22:00] The psychologist who required 100 rejections before entry — fear vs. reality
17. [23:30] Jocko Willink: "Besides death, all fear is psychological"
18. [24:00] Catastrophization — catching the spiral in students, clients, and yourself
19. [25:00] Where to find Brandon — YouTube, Skool, Mental Momentum
20. [26:00] Final question: What's the one thing you can't get wrong?
21. [28:30] Closing — why vets build communities

The zero-to-one gap is the hardest part of entrepreneurship. Most people get stuck because they focus on building and improving products instead of getting in front of people. The constraint is almost always distribution, not the product itself.

Post-military identity loss is real — and entrepreneurship can be the antidote. When structure, routine, and brotherhood disappear overnight, the void is deep. Building something of your own can restore purpose, but only if you're intentional about it.

Create space before you build. Brandon's coaching method starts with time management and eliminating noise — especially for people juggling jobs, families, and limited bandwidth. You can't grow a business if you don't have the mental capacity to think about one.

Rejection is the cost of entry. 20 nos before a yes. 141 calls in a year. The fear of rejection stops more people than rejection itself. Getting comfortable with "no" is a prerequisite, not a setback.

It's okay to charge for your value. Veterans especially tend to undervalue their expertise. Leading with free value is smart. Staying there forever is not. Your experience, your failures, your time — they're worth something.

1. YouTube: @BrandonSmithx
2. Skool Community: Mental Momentum

1. Website: teachcoachmentor.org
2. Host: Mike Wish — Educator, Coach, Entrepreneur

Naval Academy grad. Marine. Top 1% Etsy store owner. Female Entrepreneur of the Year. Karla Murphy didn't come from a background that predicted any of it — and that's exactly the point.

In this episode, Karla sits down with Mike to talk about what obsession actually looks like when it's not just a buzzword on a hoodie. She breaks down how she went from having zero expectation of college to building multiple businesses, coaching founders and CEOs, and writing her book Be One of Zero: Why the Obsessed Always Win. They get into what separates people who receive feedback from those who deflect it, why she treats failure as data instead of identity, and the specific life audit framework she uses with coaching clients to ruthlessly cut what doesn't serve them. They also dig into the myth of work-life "balance," the power of identity-first change, and why giving yourself 45 minutes to be pissed — and not a minute more — is a legitimate strategy.

If you want to hear two Marines talk honestly about coaching, ownership, emotional discipline, and what it means to survive version one before you ever get to version ten, this one's for you.

📖 Grab Karla's book: Be One of Zero — available on Amazon.

Martha went from studying Latin and Greek to teaching herself software development while raising four kids—no bootcamp, no degree, just free online resources and building in public. Now she and her husband work remotely, travel, and practice "unschooling" with their children.

In Part 1 of this conversation, we dig into what unschooling actually looks like, why interest-based learning creates what Martha calls a "superpower," and why she treats rules with her kids the same way she'd treat rules with a roommate.

Topics covered:

1. Teaching yourself to code vs. formal education (and why she calls it "cheating")
2. The case against education inflation and credential bloat
3. Why "stay adaptable" is the only career advice that matters now
4. Unschooling vs. Montessori vs. traditional homeschooling
5. Respectful parenting: treating kids like roommates, not prisoners
6. Why AI will help kids learn faster—and cheat faster on things they don't care about
7. Structure vs. rules: building internal motivation instead of external compliance

Key ideas:

1. "Aggressive curiosity" and "joyful experimentation" as core values
2. Interest-based learning as superpower—the 5-year-old mushroom expert
3. Why kids only cheat when forced to learn things they don't care about
4. The problem with external structure: military vets who stop working out after discharge

Referenced:

1. Leisure, the Basis of Culture by Josef Pieper
2. The Case Against Education by Bryan Caplan
3. John Holt (founder of unschooling movement)

In this powerful episode of Teach, Coach, Mentor, host Michael Wish sits down with Scott Ferguson: Navy veteran, elite performance coach, and host of the Time to Shine Today podcast (approaching 500 episodes). What starts as a conversation about military background and life transitions becomes a masterclass on overcoming adversity, the power of curiosity, and why coaching isn't about telling people what to do—it's about helping them discover what they already know.

Scott's story is anything but ordinary. Born in the Philippines during the Vietnam War, adopted twice, passed between families, and graduating high school with a 1.8 GPA, the statistics said he shouldn't succeed. But a chip on his shoulder, a commitment to serving others, and the discipline forged in the Navy transformed him into a coach who now works with NFL players, UFC fighters, Olympic wrestlers, and Fortune 500 executives. If you've ever felt like your background disqualifies you from success—or wondered how to turn pain into purpose—this episode delivers.

💡 Topics We Cover:

1. Scott's unconventional journey: from Filipino orphan to Navy veteran to elite performance coach
2. Why the military was "a billion percent" responsible for his coaching framework
3. The book that saved his life during his darkest moment (The Traveler's Gift by Andy Andrews)
4. Coaching vs. consulting: why telling people what to do doesn't work
5. How the victim mindset traps us—and what breaks us free
6. Why structure gives you freedom (the uniform paradox)
7. The "everyday resume" concept: how to defeat imposter syndrome
8. Attaching confidence to intentions vs. capabilities
9. Why military veterans make exceptional entrepreneurs and coaches

🛠 Key Concepts Discussed:

1. Responsibility = the ability to respond (not react)
2. Borrowing from the past vs. living in it
3. The difference between cultural rules and written rules
4. Why "everyone knows what they want—they just don't know how to talk themselves into it"

🔥 Notable Quotes:

1. "Everyone knows what they want—they just don't know how to talk themselves into it."
2. "The more you mentor, the more immortal you become."
3. "Attach your confidence to your intentions, not your capabilities. The second you do that, the sky's the limit."
4. "Don't take life too seriously—we're not making it out alive."
5. "Was I useful? That's my why. A hundred percent."

📚 Book Recommendations:

1. The Traveler's Gift by Andy Andrews
2. The Go-Giver by Bob Burg

📌 Connect with Scott:

1. Podcast: Time to Shine Today
2. Website: timetoshinetoday.com
3. Strava: Track his 1,000+ day streak of running a mile every morning

👥 Join the Community: Are you a student, teacher, coach, or lifelong learner looking to level up? Follow the Teach, Coach, Mentor podcast and join us as we explore the tools, mindsets, and habits that empower people to become who they're meant to be.

If you are a student and want to join our community to discover your own values and embark on a guided journey of self-discovery, visit https://www.skool.com/self-architect.

In this inspiring episode of Teach, Coach, Mentor, host Michael Wish sits down with innovator, writer, and AI educator Mike Todasco, former Senior Director of Innovation at PayPal and current Visiting Fellow at the AI Center at San Diego State University. What begins as a conversation about creativity and artificial intelligence quickly evolves into a deeper dialogue on democratizing technology, defeating self-limiting beliefs, and why curiosity is the ultimate superpower.

Mike shares his unconventional journey—from accountant to entrepreneur to PayPal’s innovation leader—where he proved that creativity belongs to everyone, not just the “creative types.” Since leaving PayPal, he’s become a leading voice in helping people use AI to expand their potential, not shrink it. If you’ve ever wondered how to embrace change, use technology without losing your humanity, or silence the inner critic that says “you’re not a writer” or “you’re not creative,” this episode is for you.

💡 Topics We Cover:

• Mike’s winding career path: from green visor accountant to innovation leader at PayPal
• How AI can make us both “smarter” and “dumber”—and why it depends on how we use it
• Using AI as a tutor, creative partner, and blank-page buster
• The role of taste, judgment, and human “messiness” in an AI-driven world
• Why self-talk is the biggest barrier to growth (and how Hemingway’s advice helps)
• The MFA journey: going back to school at 48 and embracing the discomfort of learning anew
• How culture shapes perceptions of human vs. AI-created work
• Why live, imperfect, human experiences—from small comedy clubs to Broadway—will only grow more valuable in an AI-saturated world

🛠 Tools and Resources Mentioned:

• AI tutors and ChatGPT study modes for personalized learning
• Claude and other large language models for structuring lessons and overcoming the blank page
• Humor writing exercises and publications as a practice ground for creativity
• Experiments at SDSU on how people perceive AI vs. human creativity across cultures

🔥 Notable Quotes:

• “AI can write you a B+ paper. But it can also help you learn an entire grade level more—if you use it the right way.” — Mike Todasco
• “Taste and judgment are going to matter more than coding in the future.” — Mike Todasco
• “All first drafts are crap. Even Hemingway said that. The point is to write anyway.” — Mike Todasco
• “The thing I’d regret most on my deathbed isn’t failure—it’s never trying.” — Mike Todasco

📌 Connect with Mike:

• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/todasco/
• Medium/Substack: Search “Mike Todasco” for essays, humor, and AI writing

👥 Join the Community:

Are you a student, teacher, coach, or lifelong learner looking to level up? Follow the Teach, Coach, Mentor podcast and join us as we explore the tools, mindsets, and habits that empower people to become who they’re meant to be.

If you are a student and want to join our community to discover your own values and embark on a guided journey of self-discovery, visit https://www.skool.com/self-architect.

In this dynamic episode of Teach, Coach, Mentor, host Michael Wish sits down with entrepreneur, author, and energy powerhouse Joe Apfelbaum, founder of Evy AI and a master of authentic engagement. What starts as a conversation about AI and LinkedIn quickly evolves into a deeper exploration of personal transformation, attention as currency, and the life-changing power of intentional growth.

Joe opens up about his journey from introverted and insecure to becoming a confident, sought-after speaker who’s helped thousands of entrepreneurs grow their business through real connection—both online and off. If you’ve ever wanted to break free from limiting beliefs, learn how to leverage AI to be more human (not less), or grow a community that actually gives a damn, this episode is for you.

• Joe’s radical identity transformation—and how it started with deep personal development
• Using AI to build better human relationships, not just automate spam
• The art of capturing attention in an “everything’s-a-scroll” world
• Why rapport is more valuable than skill when it comes to teaching and coaching
• Teaching students to grow through discomfort, rejection, and reflection
• The power of writing your future self (and identifying the gap)
• Joe’s core values and how they drive Evy AI: Time is precious, Be authentic, and Experiment joyfully
• Building a joyful, high-trust, non-cutthroat entrepreneurial community

• EV.AI: Joe’s AI-powered platform that helps entrepreneurs save time and build real relationships on LinkedIn and beyond
• The “100 rejections” challenge: a powerful tool for overcoming fear and building confidence
• Value discovery and self-authoring frameworks to help students (and adults) become who they want to be

• LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/joeapfelbaum

Are you a student, teacher, coach, or lifelong learner looking to level up? Follow the Teach, Coach, Mentor podcast and join us as we explore the tools, mindsets, and habits that empower people to become who they’re meant to be.

If you are a student and want to join the Velle Logos community to discover your own values and embark on a guided journey of self-discovery, visit vellelogos.com.

Connect with Teach, Coach, Mentor:

• Join our online community for coaching, mentoring, and support.
• Instagram: @vellelogos
• LinkedIn: Velle Logos
• YouTube: @VelleLogos
• Website: vellelogos.com

How do we move from simply surviving adolescence to truly thriving? What if every intense emotion—from anger to anxiety—wasn't a problem to be fixed, but a data point to be understood? In this powerful conversation, host Michael Wish sits down with licensed therapist Brittany Fella, who has spent 17 years working exclusively with teens and parents.

Brittany shares a transformative framework for navigating the emotional landscape of not just the teenage years, but adulthood as well. Listen in for surprising insights on why today's teens are craving real connection away from their phones , the crucial difference between coaching and therapy , and why the most important first step you can take is to simply "start by starting". This episode is a must-listen for parents, young adults, coaches, and anyone looking to build a more resilient and examined life.

In This Episode, We Discuss:

• [00:46] Brittany's Origin Story: How personal struggle with addiction in her early 20s inspired a 17-year career helping adolescents.
• [03:00] The Key to a Vital Life: Why having access to your inner world and understanding your emotional triggers is critical for navigating life with vitality.
• [05:04] Your Emotions are Data: A powerful reframe for looking at emotional meltdowns not as failures, but as data points that reveal how you work. Curiosity is the key to deadening an emotion's intensity.
• [08:19] What's Underneath Anger?: A deep dive into how anger, especially in parenting, often masks underlying feelings of fear, hurt, or being underappreciated.
• [09:20] From Surviving to Thriving: How to help teens shift from a "victim mode" to understanding the challenges presented to them and building community for support.
• [15:26] The Secret to Authentic Community: The importance of leaders and adults modeling vulnerability by talking about their own struggles and how they move through pain.
• [19:43] Are Phones Losing Their Power?: Brittany's surprising observation that adolescents are finding themselves unfulfilled by their phones and want to be more present with each other.
• [29:51] The Best Advice? Just Start:
• Why waiting until you have all the answers is a mistake, and the power of taking a risk and "starting by starting".
• [31:46] Therapy vs. Coaching: Brittany breaks down the fundamental differences, explaining that coaching is more strategy-based while psychotherapy delves into the depths of your soul and childhood.
• [35:55] Breaking the Stigma: A candid discussion on why men often adopt the "rub some dirt in it" mentality and the incredible benefits of preventative marriage counseling.

Connect with Our Guest:

Find Brittany Fella and learn more about her individual and group sessions for teens and parents. She provides in-person services in Orange County, California, and offers coaching worldwide.

• Website: BrittanyFella.com

Connect with Teach, Coach, Mentor:

• Join our online community for coaching, mentoring, and support.
• Instagram: @vellelogos
• LinkedIn: Velle Logos
• YouTube: @VelleLogos
• Website: vellelogos.com

In this heartfelt and humorous conversation, Michael sits down with longtime friend and writer Steven Petrow to explore how we find joy in the midst of life's hardest moments—and why writing, failure, grief, and even hero golf shots can be powerful sources of meaning and growth.

Together, they discuss:

• The origins of their decade-long friendship—from a letter sent during deployment in Afghanistan to years of deep conversation
• Steven’s reflections on failure, loss, and resilience—and why embracing what "sucks" might be the best teacher
• The small but mighty power of gratitude journaling and joyful rituals
• The science behind why handwriting and slowing down can improve memory, mood, and meaning
• Why we should all see ourselves as writers—and how writing helps us clarify our thoughts and connect across generations
• What it really means to be joyful (hint: it’s not the same as being happy)

Whether you’re a student trying to define your path, a veteran rebuilding your story, or just someone learning how to grow through what you go through—this episode is for you.

• Embracing failure as a learning signal
• The discipline of gratitude and why it works
• Rebuilding joy after loss
• Reading as becoming another mind
• Writing as an act of self-respect—and connection

• The Joy You Make by Steven Petrow
• Writing to Learn by William Zinsser
• Jamil Zaki’s work on empathy and neuroplasticity
• The phrase “Be the strongest person at your father’s funeral” (popularized by Jordan Peterson)

At Velle Logos, we believe every learner deserves the tools to grow—with purpose, clarity, and community. Through group coaching, habit-building, and mentorship, we help students and leaders build the foundation for a joyful, resilient life.

🔹 Join the movement.

🔹 Level up your learning.

🔹 Be the author of your own future.

• Instagram: @vellelogos
• LinkedIn: Velle Logos
• YouTube: @VelleLogos
• Website: vellelogos.com