Team Sidelined

In this episode we explore the physical, mental and social aspects of dealing with chronic illness as an athlete —— navigating the physical challenges , learning how to advocate for yourself, and managing the tension of the “athletic mentality" with the realistic need to listen to your body. 

We cover various psychological components such as the impact of a lack of understanding from others, the burden of self-doubt, the unpredictable and confusing nature of chronic illness, feelings of weakness and loss of athletic identity . . . we discuss insights into coping with feelings of isolation, changes in relationships, and how to identify your true support network. And we wrap it the discussion by talking about medical retirement, factors involved in making the decision to medically retire, and the pros and cons of staying involved with your sport. 

If you are an athlete coping with chronic illness, know that we have incredible respect for all the ways you fight your invisible challenges. We hope this episode provides encouragement to you as well as practical tips and ideas for managing life as an athlete with chronic illness. 

For the rest of us, we encourage you to listen in on this discussion, learn about the athlete experience with chronic illness, and share this podcast within your network of athletes, athletic trainers, and coaches. There are athletes out there who need our informed understanding, our empathy, and our support. ❤️💙

It’s not uncommon for athletes to experience body dissatisfaction and body grief in the transition following their retirement from competition. After all, it’s not especially realistic to maintain the same physique as schedules and priorities shift when the competition days come to an end. What’s much less common though, is meaningful conversation on the topic. Body dissatisfaction and body grief can at times lead to maladaptive behaviors related to food and exercise as it can take some time for athletes to get into a new rhythm and shift expectations. It’s important for athletes in transition to be mindful of thinking patterns and habits related to food and exercise which don’t serve them well. 

In this podcast we discuss this topic and the implications for potential eating disorders with Stephanie Wilson, a medically retired athlete who has personally experienced maladaptive behaviors related to food and exercise and now works professionally in this space as a Registered Dietitian specializing in athletes experiencing disordered eating, eating disorders, and Relative Energy Deficiency Syndrome (RED-S).

Join us for this engaging discussion and share with others! You never know who you could help and what important conversations this could start. 

Show Notes: 

1:47 Stephanie’s background & personal experience

5:05 The complex relationship with food & body for athletes

• Perfectionism & comparisons 
• Different fueling needs for different sports
• Pressures from coaches
• Pressure to conform to social/athletic norms
• Body monitoring &  hyper-body-awareness

10:30 The role of an athlete’s own expectations in post-athletics body changes

• Body shifts and the struggle to find a new normal 

14:20  Maladaptive behaviors in dealing with unwanted body changes 

• What is a maladaptive behavior? 
• Do maladaptive behaviors automatically equal an eating disorder? 
• Examples of maladaptive behaviors
• Unhealthy coping behaviors, both eating and exercise 
• The possibility of “a new normal” that serves you better

18:27 Compensatory behaviors 

• What is my motivation for this behavior? 
• Behaviors as “punishment”
• “I should be doing this” vs. “this is what I want to do”
• What movements bring you joy?
• How do you fuel the movements that bring you joy in retirement? 

21:26 How fear can often drive our behaviors related to food/exercise post-retirement 

• Acknowledgement & acceptance of our fears 
• How to appropriately challenge our fears 
• The power of “Sitting in the suck”

26:37 The lesser known eating-related disorders

• Binge eating disorder
• Shame & stigma
• Secrecy
• Muscle dysmorphia disorder
• Compulsive exercise disorder
• How less can be more
• Orthorexia nervosa
• Fear surrounding “taboo” foods

34:51 Key factors in overcoming “body grief” and moving towards “body acceptance”

• Body image & the value of “body neutrality” 
• Identity outside of sport, feeling “whole"
• Body change expectations 
• Acceptance of the “journey” 

38:58 Shame and stigma 

• The isolating effect 
• Shame as a barrier for not getting help 
• How to begin to open up to someone

41:02 What professional help looks like

• Finding the right fit: dietitian, therapist, sports psychologist
• What if it doesn’t feel right? 
• What if I can’t afford it? 

45:40 Final words of encouragement to athletes listening who are struggling

Every athlete goes through it at some point when the playing days are over — athlete transition. Whether an athletic retirement is caused by being medically sidelined, not being good enough to continue to the next level, or aging out, there are common themes and pitfalls many athletes in transition experience. Today we’re having a conversation about “life after sports” . . . the good, the bad, and the ugly. Where does an athlete begin to channel that "inner competitor" to move forward? How do you figure out what’s next? What if you’ve lost your motivation and drive without your sport? How does “identity” play into all this? 

Today’s podcast guest is Taj Dashaun, a former athlete, now author, speaker, and athlete transition coach. When his football career ended, Taj struggled heavily with depression. Because he had been so focused on the game, he never fully developed a clear vision for his life. After several years of stumbling around in the emotional darkness of uncertainty, Taj began to take his eyes off of himself and focus on serving others. He now runs holistic programs for retired athletes who, like he once was, are struggling to adapt to life after the game. It's his personal mission and passion to help others overcome the fear, frustration and uncertainty associated with life post-athletics. 

Join us for this rich discussion! Whether you're an athlete going through this transition process yourself, or you're a coach, parent, or friend looking to support someone in this situation, this episode is for you.

Show Notes:
(3:32)  Taj’s own pitfalls and triumphs in athletic retirement 

(8:20)  Lack of purpose, uncertainty, and the “Who am I now?” question 

(12:05) Finding clarity in the “Who I want to become”

(16:54) How opening up our focus to serving others can help in the quest for what’s next

(21:56) How fueling our mind and body can help in the transition following athletic retirement 

(23:30) Approaching life as your sport

(26:26) How asking better questions will lead you to better answers 

(28:06) Self reflection and the value of asking for feedback from the people around you 

(32:36) How what you loved about your sport can offer clues as to where you will find fulfillment

(35:35) More on “life as your sport” 

(37:00) Auditing your circle

(40:05) Practical tips for drafting mentors

(45:04) Finding more resources from Taj

(46:25)  What if working with a life coach is not in the budget? 

(49:25) Final thoughts for athletes going through transition right now  

Finding Taj for more on Thriving After Sports: 

www.tajdashaun.com

We understand how difficult this can be for not only your athlete but also you as well. Your athlete may or may not be opening up about what they’re feeling. They may be resistant to help. They may be isolating or turning to unhealthy coping mechanisms. So what can you do to break through and provide the best possible support as they go through this difficult transition? Today’s podcast guests can speak to this topic both professionally and personally. In this episode, a parent of a permanently-sidelined athlete interviews two sports psychologists who personally experienced a medical disqualification themselves. Listen in to glean insights from others who know first hand the challenges of helping a young person through the transition following a medically-forced exit from sport.

* Valuable insights for all members of the sidelined athlete support network:  spouses, athletic trainers, coaches, as well! 

Show Notes:
(1:50) Guest intros
(10:25) The sidelined athlete experience
(13:45) Advice for parents helping their son/daughter through this transition

• The process
• Timing of therapeutic help 
• Triggering points
• Outward signs of inner turmoil

(17:30) Helping the athlete through the grief process

• Questions to ask athletes
• Importance of being a non-biased participant in grief process
• Understanding the purpose of emotions
• What true empathy looks like
• Avoiding “silver lining statements”
• Why denial isn’t “all bad” 
• Why suggesting your own ideas may not be preferred
• Importance of  “when the time is right”
• Offering an anchor of hope & confidence

(27:20) How parents can help alleviate the severity of identity loss

• Key questions to ask
• Identifying how values play into their identity 
• Bringing the “athlete mentality” into whatever’s next
• Transitioning from reckoning/grief to “reinvention” phase
• The value of finding a professional for the athlete to talk to
• Tips for finding a sports psychologist

(37:11) Tips for getting the athlete to open up

• Talk with them while they are moving/active
• Open-ended questions
• Engaging again down the road
• Remind them that it’s a process and they can talk to you at any time
• Acknowledging they may prefer opening up to someone else

(42:22) The decision to stay involved with the team or not

• What serves the athlete best? 
• How can the athlete stay connected to the people most important to the them? 
• Trusting the instincts of the athlete 
• Working through the pros and cons with the athlete 
• The crux of the decision 

(49:15) Unhealthy coping mechanisms/strategies to watch out for 

• Substance abuse / numbing out 
• Reckless behaviors
• Helping the athlete identify healthy ways to take a break from their hurt
• Isolation
• Pay attention to the duration of symptoms 
• Depression symptoms
• Unbalanced reliance on romantic partner

(56:00) Conclusion/Wrap up

• Empathy as a learned skill 

Additional Resources: 

Finding a sports psychologist (as mentioned by Kelsey): 

• PsychologyToday.com
• Association for Applied Sport Psychology

Sidelined USA resources:

• “Meaningful support” articles 
• Sidelined Stories podcast

What a crazy thing to emerge from a full academic year of pandemic impact on sports! You may be tempted to just try and forget about the 2020-2021 athletic season and move on. We get it!!! But what if  by taking some time to decompress and process what was lost and what was not to be, we can gain valuable perspective which can help “redeem” this year’s disappointments for a purpose greater than just "getting through"? Consider the possibility that this year in sports has potentially changed you forever . . . 

In this final episode of Season 1, we interview Sidelined USA’s very own Director of Marketing & Development, Jackie Allibone, a former D1 lacrosse player who experienced multiple disruptions in her athletic career due to serious injuries as well as a devastating career-ending injury. Jackie talks about some of the transformative thinking that helped her not only make peace with her losses, but also grow through them. In the “athlete after-huddle”, she is joined by former competitive athletes Val Jones and Tene Thompson who also both experienced injuries which ended their athletic careers before they were able to play out their aspirations. Together this trio explore: 

• The power of GRATITUDE
• The value of INTENTIONALITY
• Acknowledging the VALUE OF SPORTS in preparing you for life beyond sport
• The wisdom in not COMPARING JOURNEYS
• Retaining your COMPETITIVE DRIVE beyond your competition days
• How being an athlete prepares you to face ADVERSITY
• PERSPECTIVE on disappointments, losses, and thwarted plans 

You’ll be challenged by the perspective our guests gained over time working through the tough realities of their losses and connecting meaning and purpose to gain perspective. Join us for this memorable discussion of what it looks like to reframe your losses come out on the other side - stronger. 

It’s something we can take for granted — our personal identity and how it shapes our view of self, our perceptions, and our challenges. Often times due to intense personal schedules for athletes, it’s challenging to find time for personal reflection on “lofty” things such as how we find our self-worth and where we find meaning. But what if those “lofty” things were impacting us in significant ways? What if taking the time to think through our identity could change everything? 

It’s important to take a step back and acknowledge that there’s a “shadow side” to the high-performance mentality so often employed by dedicated athletes. Our pursuit of excellence can sometimes come at the cost of our own emotional health without us even realizing it. 

Our guest today, former professional athlete, researcher, and licensed therapist, Dr. Ben Houltberg, specializes in the topic of identity with athletes. In this conversation, he discusses:

• How performance-based identity impacts our response to setbacks and roadblocks
• The “markers” of an unhealthy athletic identity
• The difference between a high-performance mentality and a performance-based identity 
• How we can go about dismantling some of the unhealthy habits we’ve formed that feed into a performance-based identity 
• Practical advice for how to cultivate a healthy identity
• The power of pain being transformed into purpose
• Perspective for athletes struggling with feelings of disappointment and let-down from an unfulfilling sports season or the loss of their sports season altogether due to COVID-impact or injury, etc. 
• And more!

➡️ A thought-provoking interview about how understanding who we are and what we value connects us with something bigger than ourselves and leads us to the greatest fulfillment in our sport participation and in life beyond sports as well.

It’s not something we talk about much. Maybe we don’t know how to start the conversation. Maybe we’re afraid we might get in over our heads. Maybe it’s just not on our radar because we don’t have personal experience with it. But with 1 in 4 young people having considered suicide during the pandemic (Source: CDC), suicide really is something we can’t afford to ignore. 

In this extremely candid interview, former NFL linebacker Marcus Smith II shares his personal experience with suicidal thoughts and tells the story of the day he came within inches of taking his own life despite having an incredible support system. He opens up about the feelings he had and the overwhelming burden of his internal dialogue which he struggled for years to confront out loud. Marcus encourages others who are deeply struggling to “take the mask off”, and be courageous enough to voice their pain and get help. In this episode, Marcus discusses: 

• The tendency of athletes to mask their pain
• The dangers of habitually pushing deep pain to the side
• Advice for athletes struggling with hopelessness
• Contending with pre-conceived ideas on seeking professional help
• The power of letting the emotions out through therapy 
• Redefining “mental toughness”, a culture shift we can all be a part of
• How athletic programs can foster a healthy culture surrounding mental health
• The power of finding your purpose beyond athletic performance 
• Perspective on how personal pain can be redeemed for good 
• Advice for the support network of an athlete deeply struggling 

Don’t miss this incredibly insightful interview which is ultimately a story of hope and healing. Please note this is a very sensitive interview and may be emotionally triggering for those with personal or second hand experience wit suicide or suicidal thoughts. Be prepared to talk through your feelings with someone you trust after listening. 

♥️ If you or someone you know is experiencing suicidal thoughts please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, available 24/7, at 1-800-273-TALK (8255) for support or text TALK to 741-741 to reach a Crisis Counselor.

ADDITIONAL RESOURCES: 

10 Myths About Suicide & Young People

Know the Signs

What do you do when circumstances outside your control continuously interfere with your plans? . . . When the hits just keep coming and you fear being ultimately blocked off your goals? When optimism seems perhaps, a bit elusive?

This is a time for building resiliency and investing in your mental game to help you rise above and push forward. Former Oklahoma State cornerback Devin Hedgepeth shares his framework for cultivating resiliency, a system he discovered after experiencing a career-ending injury that blocked him from his dreams of playing in the NFL. Devin’s approach for leveraging obstacles is relevant no matter what obstacles you face — even the roadblocks. 

This episode will equip you to change your mindset, thoughts, actions, and ultimately your life. There’s ALWAYS a way to rise above. Take a listen and SHARE with your teammates! Let’s move forward together! 

• Devin's free ebook "The Victorious Defeat" includes a helpful workbook to help you put his system into action. Access his free book HERE. 

Following up on our last full episode, Getting Real About Depression: Four Athletes Discuss Pressures, Identity, & Purpose, we asked Northwestern University’s sports psychiatrist, Bettina Frankel to join us to discuss some lingering questions. In this quick 30 minute episode, Dr. Frankel addresses some of the basics surrounding the athlete experience with depression: 

• How to distinguish if it may be time to seek professional help
• Who to reach out to if you’re struggling
• How to talk to a friend/teammate you are concerned about
• Concerns about medications affecting athletic performance
• Perspective on the internal pressure a lot of athletes feel to “handle things” on their own

An important episode for athletes and those working with athletes so that we can all be better prepared to support mental health in ourselves and on our teams. Take a listen and share this episode with your team! You never know who could be in need of this very important information!

Looking for more resources or the online screening Dr. Frankel mentions in this episode? Check out Sidelined USA's online  Mental Health Support Resource Page. 

The holidays are often triggers for mental health struggles on the average year. This year, with the pandemic impact on the holidays combined with lingering emotional impact of the disruption on sports, many more athletes find themselves struggling in some capacity with mental health. We wondered how we can support student-athletes during this winter break which is why we have so many posts and resources related to mental health this month. We asked Bettina Frankel, sports psychiatrist at Northwestern University, to share some simple tips for athletes on investing in mental health over the holiday break. This quick 8 minute listen offers you several practical, actionable tips to prioritize your mental health. Mental wellness is for ALL of us!  Take a listen and share with your teammates! 

• Reach out to a close friend or loved one — even though it may be hard to talk about your feelings
• Contact a minister, spiritual leader or someone in your faith community
• Make an appointment with your doctor, other health care provider or a mental health professional

• If you are in any type of crisis and feel the need to talk anything out, text 741-741 from anywhere in the United States. You will be put in touch with a trained crisis counselor.  
• If you are experiencing thoughts of suicide, the National Suicide Prevention Hotline provides free, confidential emotional support for you @ 1-800-273-8255 and is available 24/7/365.