Trigger Warning: This episode contains open conversations about addiction, suicide ideation, and loss.

Episode 20 welcomes Robert Farrell, a deeply thoughtful and unassuming man whose story is one of survival, honesty, and never giving up.

Rob grew up in Trim, Co. Meath, in a loving family, but bullying in secondary school changed the course of his life. Feeling like an outsider, he searched for belonging, which eventually brought him into the rave scene of the 90s and into heroin addiction — a drug he describes as his “medicine” at a time when pain and not belonging felt overwhelming.

In this powerful two-hour conversation, Rob speaks openly about:

• addiction and recovery outside traditional programmes

• living with clinical depression and suicide ideation

• the devastating impact of suicide on families and communities

• losing friends and loved ones, and continuing to choose life

• fatherhood, love, and the grounding force of his daughter Mya and partner Tanya

• running, nature, and how endurance sport became a pathway to healing

Rob shares honestly about relapse, sobriety, and becoming his own higher power — and how today he sees himself simply as a good person who keeps moving forward, even when life is heavy.

This episode is raw, compassionate, and deeply human. It reminds us that healing doesn’t always look perfect — but connection, honesty, and hope can keep us alive.

If this conversation brings up anything for you, please know you don’t have to carry it alone.

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Talking really does help.

In this deeply moving episode, Lisa Byrne sits down with Michael Nolan, known to many as Mikey — a recovering alcoholic and gambling addict from Arklow whose story is one of loss, resilience, and quiet strength.

Mikey speaks openly about entering treatment in Bruree, Co. Limerick in 2014 and the journey that has kept him sober ever since. For the first time, he shares the depth of grief he has carried — losing his mother in his early twenties, followed by the devastating loss of his father just five years later, and most recently the heartbreaking loss of his sister last July.

With honesty and humility, Mikey reflects on addiction and the reality of how self-centred life can become when we are unwell — the relationships lost, the business gone, the house, the money, and everything he once knew slipping away. He recalls a powerful turning point: a €20,000 win at the races that quickly disappeared in a blur of drinking and spending, leading him towards the treatment that would ultimately change his life.

What stands out most is Mikey’s quiet wisdom. He speaks about writing a letter to his father, about staying sober through unimaginable grief, and about leaning on meetings, connection, and the tools of recovery rather than returning to old coping mechanisms. He also shares how his three nephews, his brother, and sister-in-law continue to anchor him in love and purpose.

This episode is a reminder that healing does not remove pain — but it can change how we carry it. Through vulnerability, honesty, and lived experience, Mikey shows that peace and contentment are possible, even after profound loss.

A conversation about grief, addiction, accountability, and the power of staying well — one day at a time.

Episode 18 – Burnout, The Berlin Paradox & The Quiet Whispers We Ignore

In this solo episode of Tear Down These Walls – Breaking Through Silence, Lisa Byrne reflects on burnout through the lens of healing, addiction, and self-discovery. Inspired by behavioural psychologist Lena Hoffman’s idea of the “Berlin Paradox,” this conversation explores how sometimes the very act of constantly “doing the work” can keep us running from ourselves — and how real change often lives in the stillness we avoid.

Lisa speaks honestly about the difference between burnout in addiction and burnout in recovery, the ways adrenaline and chaos can quietly shape our identity, and how we can unknowingly swap one compulsion for another while trying to get well. She shares personal reflections on her own burnout at the end of the college year, learning to listen to the body’s whispers before they become a roar, and what it means to step back from constant movement — even when movement once felt like survival.

This episode also holds space for those rebuilding their lives from scratch — single parents, students, people walking long roads of change — and asks an important question: when life demands so much effort just to stay afloat, how do we recognise the difference between necessary growth and emotional exhaustion?

A reflective, honest conversation about slowing down, listening inward, and learning that healing isn’t always about doing more — sometimes it’s about allowing ourselves to simply be.

n Episode 17 of Tear Down These Walls, I sit down with Mark Burke from Summerhill — just a stone’s throw from Sheriff Street — for one of the most insightful and honest conversations we’ve had about gambling addiction.

Mark speaks openly about growing up with a mother who lived with depression, and how that environment became his “normal.” It wasn’t until he entered therapy years later that he began to understand the deep impact this had on him.

A gambling addict in recovery, Mark explains why gambling was never about money. He describes it as a mental illness — a constant mental chase that could begin days before a bet was even placed: checking the weather, who the referee is, what country it’s in, the horses. A life lived in anticipation, obsession, and exhaustion. Sleepless nights. Lying awake in bed. A life he describes as “one big spoof.”

Mark speaks with remarkable self-awareness and accountability. There is no blame — only responsibility, reflection, and deep gratitude. His recovery journey is both confronting and hopeful. When gambling no longer numbed the pain, Mark turned to drink and drugs, reaching a point where he no longer wanted to be here.

He shares his experience of entering treatment in Cuan Mhuire, Athy, not wanting to go, having to talk himself into it — and how it became the best decision of his life.

Today, Mark speaks about the small joys of life — walking, the outdoors, freedom, presence. He talks lovingly about his five children, the strong relationship he has with them, and his determination to break generational trauma so that his grandchildren will never have to carry what he and his children carried.

This episode is about recovery, accountability, community, and hope. Mark is deeply committed to helping others and encourages anyone struggling to reach out. His story is living proof that change is possible — and that a new life can be built from the smallest, simplest joys.

Grief has been a constant companion in my life.

In this solo episode, I speak openly about what it means to grow up with loss and how grief has shaped my identity, my relationships, my choices, my breakdowns, and my rebuilding.

Although grief was familiar to me, losing my husband brought me to my knees. He had become my safety, my repair, my home. In losing him, I didn’t just lose one person — I lost everyone all over again.

This episode is not about having answers. It’s about telling the truth of grief — how it lives in the body, how it repeats itself, how it can quietly direct a life without us realising. I speak about complicated grief, cumulative loss, and what it’s like to carry grief from birth into adulthood.

If grief has touched your life — early, suddenly, repeatedly, or quietly — this episode is for you.

In this episode, I sit down with Michelle Martin Boylan, a woman originally from Sheriff Street whose journey looks very different to many of the stories we’re used to hearing — and yet carries its own depth, pain, and healing.

Michelle describes herself as a shy, quiet child who loved her own company and books. She wasn’t a street kid and didn’t get caught up in much of the activity that surrounded many of us growing up, yet like so many from our generation, she was not untouched by trauma.

Michelle speaks honestly about her struggles with prescription drug dependency, depression, and the physical toll medication began to take on her body. When the medication stopped working for her, she made the brave decision to come off it — and that choice led her down a deeply spiritual and healing path.

Today, Michelle is opening her own centre, The Feeling of Healing, based in the Be Centre in Balbriggan, North County Dublin. She is qualified in advanced clinical hypnotherapy, Reiki healing, advanced Theta healing, spiritual personal growth and development, and creative mindfulness for children.

As the eldest of eight siblings, Michelle carried responsibility from a very young age — a theme that echoes throughout her story. She also speaks gently and respectfully about experiences of sexual abuse, without going into detail, and how these experiences shaped her inner world.

Although Michelle and I had very different childhood experiences, we found ourselves deeply connected through the similarities of our later-life struggles. What became clear in this conversation is that growing up in the 1980s — especially in communities like ours — left many of us carrying trauma in ways we didn’t always recognise at the time.

This is a calm, insightful, and hopeful conversation about recovery, healing without medication, and the power of discovering a new way forward.

In Episode 14, I sit down with Zach, a 23-year-old young man who truly lights up a room. His warmth, humour, and openness are felt instantly — even as he speaks about some of the most painful experiences of his life.

Zach shares honestly about living with anxiety, being in and out of hospital, and his experience with anorexia, which developed alongside a severe skin condition that deeply affected his confidence and relationship with his body. He reflects on recovery, resilience, and the importance of being supported when things feel unbearable.

Raised by strong women — his mother Nicola, his sister Cody, and Toni — Zach speaks about growing up in a predominantly female environment and how it helped him become emotionally aware, empathetic, and comfortable expressing vulnerability.

He speaks powerfully about mental health in young men, the stigma that still silences so many, and why creating space for open, honest conversations can save lives. Zach also reflects on bullying at school, always feeling different, and choosing a path away from crime, drugs, and heavy drinking despite growing up in inner-city Dublin, with roots in Sheriff Street and a childhood in Mountjoy Square.

Zach speaks openly about feeling suicidal, the people who supported him through that period, and how those experiences now shape the way he shows up for others.

Through TikTok, Zach offers support to people struggling with anxiety, depression, anorexia, or loneliness — using his own lived experience to help others feel seen and less alone.

This is a deeply honest, hopeful conversation about mental health, recovery, and finding your own way.

Paddy’s story is a reminder that addiction doesn’t come from one place, one background, or one type of childhood.

Born and raised in Skerries, Paddy describes a good, stable upbringing. No major childhood trauma. Four sisters. A shy young man who loved music and formed a heavy metal band while still in secondary school.

College, America, freedom — and then drugs. What began as confidence and escape quickly turned into addiction, chaos, and coming home broken. Paddy speaks openly about alcohol, cocaine, heroin, opiates, the law, treatment, and recovery.

What makes this episode powerful is the contrast. We grew up in very different communities, which meant our exposure to drugs looked very different. For me, escape was often about environments. For Paddy, it was about countries — believing distance could fix what was going on inside. Yet we ended up in the same place, asking the same questions.

Now sober for several years, Paddy has returned to education, works supporting vulnerable young people, and speaks honestly about therapy, ongoing recovery, and the work it takes to stay well. Narcotics Anonymous is a big part of his life.

Different beginnings. Same truth.

Addiction doesn’t discriminate.

In this episode, I sit down with Eamonn, who grew up in Sheriff Street in the 1980s, one of five children raised by a father doing his best after their mother left for England when life became too heavy to carry.

Eamonn speaks honestly about growing up without a mother, the silence and confusion that followed, and how that absence shaped his sense of self from a young age. He reflects on life in the flats, the strength of community, and the neighbours who stepped in to support his family during some of their hardest years.

He shares what it was like to be put out of school at 12 and attending Bosco’s with his younger brother, and how drugs slowly became a way to cope — offering confidence, easing his shyness, and numbing feelings he didn’t yet have the words to express. Eamonn speaks openly about the progression of his addiction and his journey through three treatment centres, beginning at just 27 years old.

This episode is not only about addiction, but about recovery in its deepest sense — learning how to feel, how to understand the past, and how to make peace with it. Eamonn speaks with compassion for his younger self, his father, and his mother, holding all of their stories with understanding rather than blame.

Now in recovery, Eamonn works in the services supporting people experiencing homelessness and addiction and continues to give back in meaningful ways.

This is a moving conversation about loss, resilience, recovery, and the long journey home to yourself.

In Episode 11, I sit down with Jonathan, a 33-year-old man whose story is rooted in resilience, reflection, and breaking generational cycles.

Jonathan grew up in Summerhill, Sean Tracy Flats, just minutes from Sheriff Street — an environment very similar in many ways. Like so many of us, the flats became the playground, a place where childhood unfolded amid drugs, crime, and survival from morning to night.

Jonathan was bullied in school and struggled academically from a young age. Concentration was always difficult, and ADHD played a massive role in those early challenges. Drugs entered his life young, followed by criminality, juvenile detention centres, and eventually prison.

A powerful part of this conversation centres on grandparents and the safety they provided. Jonathan speaks about the deep sense of security and stability he felt with his nana, and I reflect on the same in my own life — how grandparents so often became our safe place when the world around us felt chaotic. Their role in children’s lives, particularly in disadvantaged communities, is something we both recognise as profoundly important.

Jonathan didn’t find recovery through residential treatment. Instead, it was during his final time in prison that he made a decision to change his life. His childhood sweetheart and long-term partner, Charlene, stood by him throughout everything, alongside the steady presence of his mother.

Jonathan speaks fondly of his nana Sally, who lived to see Jonathan sober, thriving, and doing well before she passed away — something that clearly means the world to him.

Now over five years sober, Jonathan is a devoted father to a young son who will never know him in addiction or behind prison walls. Today, Jonathan works within addiction services, has returned to education studying addiction studies, and hopes to continue his learning journey.

This episode is about recovery, family, the quiet strength of grandparents, and the power of choosing a different future.