TEATIME TUESDAYS

I'm sure you thought I was gonna be here talking bout women and reproduction. Nah, come on, you know better than that. I'm never talking about what I'm actually talking about. Well, maybe a little bit. All I know is Benny Hill was on to something when he said, "Have you noticed that all the people in favour of birth control are already born?"

Look, it's not so much that there are bad men as much as you've just made bad choices in men and vice versa. When it comes to 'his and hers,' one item is meant for the male and the other the female. Only now, with the aroma of equality in the air, 'his and hers' are seen more apart than together.

Back in my day, Campbell's Soup bought out a new line of what they called Chunky Soup. These more giant cans of extra-plump ingredients boasted of being so hearty that it can be as filling as having a full course home-cooked meal. The thing is, the mixture is so thick and beefy that although it's a soup typically eaten with a spoon, it's so rich it could also be eaten with a fork. In relationship terminology: Get you a girl that can do both!

Curiosity got me thinking about where the phrase 'trick or treat' came from. While there are many tales out there, I came across one that took my train of thought in a whole other direction.  The phrase is a subtle suggestion that if a "treat" (candy) is given, then the child will not perform a "trick" (mischief) on the owner of the house. Hmmm, interesting, right? More than the 'trick' or the 'treat,' the word child stands out to me. It screams, "Give me what I want (frills and thrills), or else I'll throw a tantrum!" Yea. That about sums it up.  I mean, doesn't that sound a lot like the relationship encounters we see today? 

Even now, in the still of the most nights, as articles dance around in my head, so does the nagging question of, "what if?" That one question that plagues many and taunts us into believing we've missed some golden opportunity. I say, why not flip the script on that thinking? What if your moving out of position was the other person's opportunity to dodge a bullet? What if you acting a plump fool was their blessing in disguise? Sometimes, the benefit is for the antagonist (the villain of the story) and not the protagonist (the hero of the story). 

Sidebar: There is a caveat to Standing back. It is not only a process by which you look for flaws. It's also about seeing what is right in front of you. Stepping back helps you recognize the gift in what you already have, why you should be grateful and clues you in on how to ensure your grass always stays green!

After reading the message, I was immediately reminded of the phrase, ".....it's like finding a needle in a haystack." The old cliche suggests it's nearly impossible to find something that small, lost or hidden (you) in something relatively that enormous (the world). You see, that was how I lived my life. No matter how many stages I graced, or how many microphones I stood behind, a large part of me never felt good enough to be there. Isn't that how most of us see ourselves, though? Who me? I'm just a small fry. Who me? I'm not that important. Nah, I'm okay right here behind the scenes.

Please raise your right hand: Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help you, God?  Response: I do! If you've never been in a court of law, then you have at least seen this scenario play out on screen in some tv drama. But in these here streets, people swear by any extreme to get the other party to believe what they are saying to be true. Rhetoric like: I'll put my hand on the Bible! On God! On my mama! On my kids, on my life even, has said everyone, who was probably lying. 

When individuals encounter you, are they moved to put you into escrow (let's call that engagement), which they'll be moved to close (let's call that marriage)? Or are you what they consider a foreclosure (you fail to met obligations), and they are forced to keep looking? Are you considered a starter home (girlfriend) or a forever (dream) home (a wife)? Will they find you too much of a liability because you've not been upgraded in the last 20 years? Or will they conclude that you have good bones, character, and dare say you're worth the investment? Basically, when people encounter you, will they love it or list it?

DMX asked a very pertinent question in his song Good Girls, Bad Guys. "Why do (good girls) like bad guys, knowin' that bad guys tell mad lies?" What's even funnier than the irony of the question is that we get mad when they do. Logically speaking, you can't be angry at someone who does precisely what they already told you they'd do. Or can you?