Tell it Proud

Racism and racist are triggering words. Use the R word and people clutch their pearls and run for the "not me, I'm not one of them!" hills no matter how accurate the term is to describe their behavior. The issue with this word to is it's ineffective as it's been declawed by racists who don't want the consequences of the correct labeling of their behavior, but refuse to own the truth of their racist thinking and communicating.

In this episode I make a hilarious case for the power of words, why we should rebrand racism and dive into:

• why the term racist hasn't been rebranded since 1935

• 5 recently made up terms that shut down conversation on racism that are damn effective, from the term "snowflake" to "social justice warrior (SJW)"

• the wonderful, made up time of B.P.C -- Before Political Correctness

• how I wish my "race card" was an Amex

• why we can and should make up new words for the term racist and 3 new terms I created that gave me a deep belly laugh that people should causally start dropping in conversation when addressing racism

I also sing four part harmony for fun on the episode in honor of Black History Month.

My Afro has always generated conversations well before I did. Entering rooms, blocking pictures, catching sunlight and an array of other things I'd pull out of it in surprise. Since wearing my hair naturally for the past 11 years it's been an extension of me that was much more than just incredibly curled follicles, and my guest today knows all about how much hair, especially curly hair and kinky hair, deeply affects our identities and how we show up in the world.

Kim Cowans is the founder of SKIMDO the first seven day hold hair product designed to give freedom from daily hair-styling by holding curls in flexible suspension for up to a week with no parabens, no formaldehyde, and no sulphates. She is of Russian and Jamaican descent, and was raised between England and Thailand. Four years after launching SKIMDO she moved to New York City to bring the brand to the American market, and the product has gained gained cult status use amongst stylists and influencers. Kim is now in the process of finding investment to expand her impact.

We dive into her journey of creating SKIMDO, from being fired from her job, to hiring chemists to help her concoct her dream product and along the way we talk about:

• dealing with bullying in childhood

• why travel can change your perspective of yourself in the best way

• why seeing yourself represented in the world really does matter and has an impact on your development

• how a lack of solutions for your unique problem can be inspiration for creating something new

You can check out more about Kim at skimdo.com and on Instagram @skimdo.

"Think about the next big risk you want to take. The thing that makes you feel like your stomach is doing a backflip and you may shit your pants. The one that's terrifying to you and you've been holding off on because you don't think you're ready or you're afraid of the no or having the door slammed in your face. I want you to think what's the worst thing that can happen if you decide to take this risk?" - Me!

Rejection stangss honey, but our avoidance of rejection can be the most limiting thing crushing potential ideas and dreams. In this solo episode of Sway Them In Color, I share a personal story of how I was rejected from the singing competition The Voice in an audition in New York City and the key 3 things you must do to build a tolerance to getting rejected on the path of chasing your dreams and goals. If you want to do big things, you'll have to get comfortable with facing some rejection, because there's nothing in this damn world worth pursuing without some risk and potential rejection attached to it. I also sing a few times during this episode so if you want to hear a remixxx and experience me singing four part harmony with myself because I'm a damn fool, take a listen.

We do it, we do it and we hope we do it well (shout outs LL Cool J), but we don't talk about it. Sex plays such a massive role in our lives but there's so much damn shame and secrecy and limiting beliefs about our attitudes, experiences, and wants when it comes to sex.

That's why I loved speaking with Dirty Lola, someone who has blazed a trail by combining entertainment with useful information helping people with their sexuality knowledge. She is a sex edutainer, speaker, and self-proclaimed dildo slinger. Known for her live sex ed Q&A show Sex Ed A Go-Go and as co-host of New York Magazine's The Cut's "Sex Probz" web series, Lola has spent almost a decade working to end stigma and shame surrounding sex and sexuality. We dive into her many creativity and leadership lessons of building a platform and show including:

• The coping mechanism of fantasy and creativity for dealing with trauma

• Building a career with a high school diploma and not finishing college

• Why you should create regardless of if it's going to blow up in popularity

• Knowing when to take advice and when to ignore that shit when building your ideas

• The power of your personality when creating a platform

• How to get over envy and jealousy of other people's careers through professional compersion (yasss)

Labels make life simple but they provide so many stumbling blocks to truly understanding and connecting with one another. Anyone who leads has big ol' blind spots when it comes to relating to people, groups, and experiences not like their own, and my guest Rebekah "Bex" Boruki and I dive into the many ups and downs of diversity and inclusion, including:

+ why admitting your mistakes and collaborating with people who can speak to what you don't know makes you a more powerful leader + how to build empathy and connection when people mess up + why learning about the lives and needs of people not like yourself isn't only imperative but a necessity for thriving + the difference between diversity and inclusion Rebekah "Bex" Borucki is a mother of five, TV host, meditation and yoga guide, birth doula, and author of You Have 4 Minutes to Change Your Life: Simple 4-Minute Meditations for Inspiration, Transformation, and True Bliss (Hay House 2017) and her brand new book, Managing the Motherload: A Guide to Creating More Ease, Space, and Grace in Motherhood (Hay House 2019). Her mission is to make mental health support and stress management tools accessible to all, especially BIPOC (Black and Indigenous People of Color), LGBTQ+ folks, and other marginalized communities. Rebekah lives with her family and a barn-full of rescued farm animals on their 8-acre homestead in rural New Jersey. Follow her on Instagram @bexlife and Youtube YouTube.com/bexlife or her website bexlife.com.

What does it mean to be a spiritual gangster and how can our spiritual life be integrated into our careers?

That's what my guest Makhosi Candiss Pitts and I dive into on today's episode. Mahkosi left a Direct Sales business where she was the top 1% seller of a $250 million company in order to travel back and forth to Africa and become a fully-initiated shaman. I went alone, not knowing what to expect, and made it through incredibly challenging tests and trials others couldn't even imagine. We discuss this journey and also cover

+ dealing with death at a young age

+ embracing your out of the box gifts

+ trusting your own intuition and becoming a spiritual gangster

+ how being your authentic self is one of your most powerful tools for influence and leadership

Makhosi Candiss Pitts now helps powerful, successful yet unfulfilled people uncover their Divine Purpose and create meaningful power, prosperity, and impact in the process. She uses her experiences of becoming a top sales consultant combined with her shamanic gifts to help people reprogram their mind to align with their Authentic Self & bring their unique character traits, skills, talents, and experiences out into the world. Science tells us that for a human to be born is a 1 in 3 trillion chance; Makhosi believes that each and every one of us can impact the world by being bold enough to embrace who we were born to be, not just who others think we should be. You can check her out on Facebook and Instagram FB @MakhosiCandiss and her website www.makhosi-candiss.com.

Today is my birthday and I'm turning 32 seasoned, shea butter moist years of age. Every year during my birthday, I take the time to reflect on the past year, what I've learned, and how the hell I have survived one more glorious year on this rock revolving around the sun. From the age of 31 to 32 I took some of the biggest risks of my life - leaving my full time job, building my own company, creating and selling my ideas, speaking publicly on various stages, launching a podcast and more. In honor of this immense amount of risk and change I take this episode of the podcast to talk about the key things that helped me do the things that absolutely scared the shit out of me during this time, including: + the power of self-reflective writing to rewrite your fears, and uncover your purpose + why you should chase your curiosity to increase your happiness and get clarity when you're not sure what to do next + why your pain - especially if you're experiencing pains at your job - can be used as motivation towards your goals + why making a plan is your fastest way to get out of a rut Take a listen, and let's celebrate one more year in the books before this new decade of 2020 is upon us!

We've all been taught that we should pick a lane when it comes to creativity and our careers, but what if that is wrong? What if the best thing you can do for your mental health and success is to pursue multiple paths, side hustles and creative outlets? that's what my guest Candace Hokhett-Henley and I explore in today's episode. We discuss redefining definitions of success and struggle, the wrong ways to build your network, what to do when the people you thought you could count on don't support you, overcoming negative self-talk, how creativity doesn't have to be painful but a spiritual expression, literally coloring outside of the lines and finding unconventional inspiration, navigating with jealousy and toxic competition, and how to deal with the negative sides of corporate America. we begin our conversation with Candace describing an act of creative courage she took with building her side hustle while working full time.

Candace Hoe-khett - Henley is a Culture Shaper, Story Teller, Community Builder and a Fashion Fit Expert here in NYC. BY DAY, she's a Consumer Insights Consultant, with a former trajectory at Macy's, BET, and Refinery29. Her mission-driven marketing research methods have produced cultural studies with: Macy's Plus Size Assortment Strategy and Latinx focused brand launch "Thalia", At BET she and Twitter brought the story of the power of #BlackTwitter to life for brands. Her recent work at Refinery29 has informed editorial content redefining the Fertility Spectrum of women, as well as her recent project called Skin Deep, answering pressing questions for Black women looking to care for their skin with the proper support of Black skincare professionals. BY NIGHT, she's passionate about helping people live a whole life. In a former life she was a fashion buyer, and is now a Tailor based in Harlem. She also runs a collective of creatives called Connected Seams NYC, helping stitch side hustlers who are cut from all different cloths together to create REAL collaborations. Follow her at @cxstyles for market research consulting, tailoring, or for a good time with Connected Seams NYC.

What do you do when you feel like you don't fit in, and you're not living up to your potential? Those questions propelled my guest Tayo Rockson to take some major risks that changed his life forever. Growing up as a child of a diplomat parent, Tayo moved to five countries and four continents and had a near death experience that became his wake up call. We discuss the impact of that experience, the beauty and power of not muting your identity for anyone else's comfort, finding community when you feel like you don't fit in anywhere, surviving going broke and getting fired, navigating parental expectations of success, handling doubters, and swap hilarious stories and impressions about dealing with differences and the strengths of being an outsider.

Tayo Rockson is a storyteller, cultural translator, and brand strategist for change-makers on a mission to use his difference to make a difference. He is a 4x TEDx speaker, the CEO of UYD Management, and the host of As Told by Nomads podcast. He's been named a "Top 40 Millennial Influencer" by New Theory magazine and is the author of Use Your Difference To Make A Difference a book on how to connect and communicate in a cross-cultural world. You can follow him on Instagram and Twitter @tayorockson and peep his website and purchase his book at www.tayorockson.com.

What does it truly take to create a path less trekked, especially a career path that's built on what society considers taboo?

That's what me and my guest Cameron Glover tackle in the first ever episode of Sway Them In Color. We we talk dick pics, setting boundaries, your worth not being just what you do, why social media unfairly limits the reach of sex professionals and sex educators, what you should do when you make a mistake as a leader, building a tolerance for everyone not liking you, knowing when to delegate and ask for help, how everyone is an expert in their own experiences, and why our ancestors who dealt with major adversity still had pockets of joy among so many other juicy topics. Grab a tea/water/whiskey or other favorite beverage and tune on in.

Cameron Glover is a sex educator and entrepreneur helping other sexuality professionals create thriving online businesses. She's written for a variety of publications including Medium, Greatist, Playboy and more. She's also the creator of the "Sex Ed in Color" podcast, a show all about creating conversation around sexuality by centering sexuality professionals of color. You can follow her on Instagram and Twitter @BlkGirlManifest @sexedincolor and peep her website cameronglover.com