Sign up to save your podcasts
Or
Share Telling An Emotional Person To Think Doesn’t Typically Help With Nick McGowan
Share to email
Share to Facebook
Share to X
Share to email
Share to Facebook
Share to X
Or
Telling An Emotional Person To Think Doesn’t Typically Help With Nick McGowan
“I had been afraid to really feel my feelings for a long time because I was told everything short of they were not welcome here and that I shouldn’t have them.”
In this episode, Nick delves into the differences between emotional and logical individuals. Drawing from personal experiences, Nick reflects on how he was encouraged to prioritize logical thinking growing up despite being naturally inclined towards feelings and emotions.
What to listen for:
“When anything happens in the world, when anything happens specifically in your world… you start to think about those things instantly.”
“Understanding how we feel or think about situations will help us understand how others feel and think about situations.”
“We can learn from each other and we can try to emulate or try on different things to see how they feel or what we think about them.”
About Nick McGowan
I’m Nick McGowan, entrepreneur, podcaster, and mental health advocate, and I’ve been on a 20+ year journey of personal development, learning to master my mindset, emotions, and the art of living with purpose.
As a Mindset and Self-Mastery Mentor, I work with ambitious men and women who want to live their most authentic and joyous life, by helping them master their mindset, emotional awareness, and authentic communication. My mission is to empower people to lead lives that feel aligned, grounded, and truly their own.
Throughout my career, I’ve built teams, streamlined systems, and improved client experiences across SaaS, media, marketing, and personal development spaces. Whether I’m leading cross-functional projects, optimizing SEO, Podcasting, designing strategies, or guiding clients through transformation, I bring a hands-on, solution-focused approach to everything I do.
I’m also the host of The Mindset and Self-Mastery Show, where my guests and I unpack the stories that shape us, challenge us, and ultimately guide us back to who we are at our core. On this show, we uncover the secret gems others have discovered through trial, error, and breakthroughs so you can fast-track your growth, and master your mindset on your pursuit toward self-mastery.
With years of podcasting and two decades of marketing experience, I’ve mastered the storytelling, interview flow, strategy, and technical production that elevate a podcast from “just content” to something truly impactful. Whether you’re a leader looking to amplify your message, or a seasoned speaker and podcast host looking to sharpen your edge or even a beginner who is wondering how to share their message, I mentor thought leaders through every step of having the conversation they’re here to have on this planet.
So, what message are you here to share?!
Resources:
Interested in starting your own podcast or need help with one you already have? Send Nick an email or schedule a time to discuss your podcast today!
Thank you for listening!
Please subscribe on iTunes and give us a 5-Star review! https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-mindset-and-self-mastery-show/id1604262089
Watch Clips and highlights: www.youtube.com/channel/UCk1tCM7KTe3hrq_-UAa6GHA
Guest Inquiries right here: [email protected]
Your Friends at “The Mindset & Self-Mastery Show”
Click To View The Episode Transcript
00:00
For those of you that feel through situations, and even if you try to think or you want to think about it, you know that you instantly feel something.
00:10
Understand that what you’re doing in those situations is similar to what the thinker is doing. You’re trying to figure it out.
00:25
Hello and welcome to the Mindset and Self Mastery Show. I’m your host, Nick McGowan, and today on the show, I wanna talk about basically the differences between emotional and logical people. Growing up, I was always told, use your brain, use your brain, use your brain. I was told this by people who are very logical people, and it took me a while to really understand how I am. And yes, I think, and I’m a thinker in a sense. However, I’m a feeler.
00:55
I feel all the things and I feel them immensely and I had been afraid to really feel my feelings for a long time because
01:06
I was told everything short of they were not welcome here and that I shouldn’t have them. And that’s tough. So before I get any further into this episode, I want you to think about and feel into who are you? Now there’s a hybrid. We all have a bit of a hybrid. So if you’re like, ah, I sit right in the middle, like, okay, cool. But realistically, pick a side, which one would you say that you’re more on?
01:36
Are you more of an emotional person where you feel things or are you more of a logical and a thinker where you have to think about things and you really have to use your mind and use your brain to be able to logically figure something out. I think that there’s a feeling to all of this. Like when I’m thinking about something, I can feel it right here. There’s a concentration. There are often times where I’ve caught myself thinking,
02:05
And I could tell I’m like, feral browed and just looking down and just thinking about the thing. I’m not angry. I’m just deep in thought and really trying to dive in. Like I’m trying to burrow in. Now, it might be a little too animated for what you’re used to. It might be less animated than what you’re used to. There’s also the emotional people. Again, like me, I know that I’m primarily emotional.
02:33
and I have to feel the things before I can think about them. And most times, if not every single time, I naturally feel things before I think about them. And that’s probably a great way for you to really figure out which side you’re on as we go through this conversation.
02:56
When something happens, do you start to think and instantly your brain is starting to move on different things and you feel like you’re working on all cylinders with that? Or do you have an immediate reaction that is somatic or at least churning within you? And if you pick one of those sides and you say, look, I’m a thinker, great.
03:27
This isn’t for the end of your life. This is not the whole thing. This is just for this conversation. As you go through and you really think from that perspective, listen to this episode from that perspective. And for those of you that are emotional and you feel things first, then feel through this episode, because I want to talk about both of these. In fact, I want to start with something I’ve recently really thought about is being logically emotional.
03:57
we will get to the logical emotions as we get through this. For those of you that are the thinkers of this, when anything happens in the world, when anything happens specifically in your world, from my understanding, you will start to think about those things instantly, really without you even knowing what’s going on. You’re starting to think through it. There are some people in my life that are that type of people, that they are thinkers first,
04:26
The one that comes to mind that’s just easy to talk about is my dad. My dad on the Enneagram, I believe is innate. He’s never actually gone through quizzes or anything like that. But based on what I know, that man is absolutely innate. And he also has a thinker’s persona. He thinks about things. He really spends time thinking. In fact, sometimes I remember when I was growing up, he’d be sitting at the kitchen table.
04:56
as a little kid, ah when I was a little kid, he’d be sitting at the table and he’d be going through some notes or like writing out some ideas and stuff for his business. And he would spend a lot of time thinking. As much as I know that man to be a worker, like he’s in his mid-60s at this point, and battling through some really difficult things right now, and still out there working and doing hard things and lifting heavy things and just being active.
05:26
I also know of him to be a thinker because he’s thought about those things to then be able to do those things. Like he told me about how he used to work at a nuclear power plant in the control room and all those dials and gauges and things of that sort. And for the most part, I don’t fully get that stuff. ah I can understand a little bit of it, like the ebb and flow, I guess all pun intended, of the different pressures and things of that sort. really, the closest I can come to when I think about it is
05:56
uh wavelength of music and sound. So we’ve had conversation about that. But he always thinks about things and has kind of an engineering mind in that sort of way to be able to think and then act upon those. There have been times where I’ve thought, I guess he didn’t think about how other people felt about these things. Now, yes, it’s kind of a judgment. And that’s me jumping to conclusions of things. Just being straight and being honest with you. I’ve thought that and I felt that before.
06:26
And there have been times where it was clear that he hadn’t because he thought through it and the decision he made was the best decision he felt was the right thing to do or thought was the right thing to do. And he went that direction and just did the damn thing. It’s a different story than somebody who would feel through that most times. So again, I think about my dad as that thinker. Take a moment. Who do you know that is that thinker type? Put a picture to that.
06:57
You know, let’s think about that person and hold them right there and go, that person is a thinker. Now, if you’re the thinker, think of somebody else. Because you want to get yourself out of this equation so that you can look at it from kind of a third party perspective. So thinking from that way and understanding that somebody else, and put a face to that name and the thought of that person that is that thinker, think about how they handle situations. Go ahead.
07:28
Maybe there’s emotion to it sometimes. Most often it’s them just thinking and doing the thing and believing that they made the right decision because they thought about it. They trust themselves. I can respect that. Sometimes it doesn’t always look clear, obvious to us, but there’s a respect there, You know, like, all right, cool. You did what you thought was right. You thought about it. Okay, so there’s a…
07:58
There is the thinker. You’ve got that person in mind. And for the emotional people, again, like me, think about somebody that’s a thinker so that you also have somebody in mind. Maybe it’s your dad. ah If you’re my brother or sister to listen to this, it is absolutely your dad. If it’s somebody else that comes to mind that you think is that way, then understand that. Hold that person right there so we can look through the rest of this. So for those of you that feel through situations,
08:28
And even if you try to think or you want to think about it, you know that you instantly feel something.
08:35
Understand that what you’re doing in those situations is similar to what the thinker is doing You’re trying to figure it out You’re trying to feel it out You are trying to understand. Are you safe? Are you in a spot where you need to make a decision on something is? Your body telling you this is gross and you need to get away is your body telling you that yes, this is everything we want like I think of the
09:01
I think of the yeses that come from deep inside of us. Like the real sacral yes. And this might be stupid. And you might be like, oh, come on, man. But I know we’ve all been in this spot where somebody asks like, hey, do you want Chinese food tonight? And maybe you’re like, meh, cool. Do you want to get tacos? And instantly, there’s that sacral yes that’s like, oh my God, tacos. Please come and get fish tacos or whatever it is. That, that feeling.
09:31
That feeling that’s inside of you, it just hits you. I know for me, if that happens, it hits me, I feel it, and then I start to think about it. It’s almost like it works up my body. Like I feel it in my core. Like, oh yeah, and here’s an idea about it, or here’s a thought, or maybe we go at 4.30, we go to this place, we blah, blah. So feeling through those situations. I want you.
10:01
as the emotional type and the feeler.
10:04
to think about somebody that’s like that. Who do you know? Outside of you, just like I’d said with the thinkers, outside of you, who do know that fits that category?
10:18
You got him? Alright, good. So, we have the thinker in mind, and we have the emotional people in mind.
10:30
Wherever you stand, however you interact with different situations and whether you’re a thinker or you’re an emotional person, and there are some caveats of, again, hybrids and people that are slightly different different ways, but I’m just breaking these two down right now. No matter what happens, when a situation happens to us and we start to feel through it or we start to think through it, we are then working on it the way that we can work on
10:58
The reason why I wanted to have this conversation and to be able to really record this episode is I understand from the emotional perspective that I’ve been told and shamed at times to think about things and not just feel them. And that truly goes against my grain. Just no other way around it. It goes against who I am at my core. And it took me a long time to really be able to
11:27
to settle in on it because honestly it was something I knew I think even from being a little kid. Remember being told use your brain, use your brain, use your brain. was like, I feel upset about this thing and I don’t feel like I can think about it yet because I’m trying to sort through my feelings. Then for us in that spot to be able to be emotional and to have those feelings that come through us.
11:53
We need to be able to listen to those just like those of you who are thinkers need to be able to listen to the thoughts and then be able to make something of it. So I’m sort of being ambiguous with this because without getting into different scenarios that just tie in my side of it, I wanna make sure that we incorporate the thinkers as well. Because again, there are hybrids and I know that I’m a bit of a hybrid at times. I think some of that hybrid comes from traumas.
12:22
and comes from different situations. Like I’ve already said that I know that I’ve been shamed in different ways. I hold no resentment to the people that have shamed me. I don’t believe that they were trying to really break me down. There are people in life that have, but the main people I think of, they weren’t trying to really fuck with me. They were trying from their perspective because they were thinkers.
12:49
Just like if I were to say to somebody, on, feel it. What does your gut say? What is the feeling? What do you want to do with this? What does this feel like for you to do? Somebody who’s a thinker would be like, shut the fuck up. I think this, that, and I think you should shut up or whatever it is. Maybe that’s a little aggressive, but those of you who’ve listened to the show a lot, you get me. When we go through any of these situations and we either feel them or we think about them,
13:18
It’s then on us to be able to do something with them. In a recent episode, I talked about traumas and triggers and our interpretations. We have to account for how we interact and the energy that we have and the way that we just naturally feel through or think through things. And for those of us that are emotional and that we feel through all these things, we have to not shame other people to do it the way that we do it.
13:47
because we gotta understand that other people are other people. And in one of the most beautiful, I guess, laws of the world is everybody is unique, no matter what. There’s a lot of similarities at times, but everybody has their unique fingerprint on their reality and other people’s reality that’s around them. And for those of you who are thinkers, please don’t shame the emotional people. Understand that
14:17
Everybody thinks and feels things differently. And if we can look at this from the perspective, when somebody is talking to us about something that happened to them and they felt this sort of way or they thought about it this way, we can understand as best we can without asking them questions, possibly how they view things. Like if you’ve had many conversations with a friend of yours that is hyper emotional and you’re the real logical type.
14:48
then you can understand from that perspective. Or at least you have the ability to, and you often have the opportunity to. I think there’s a friend that I’m really good friends with. He and I at different times are, I don’t know, almost like oil and water, but we’ve been friends for so long that I consider the guy part of my family. And I can see us being friends for a long, long, long time. He is absolutely more of a thinker.
15:16
polar opposite of me in that sort of way, where he thinks and thinks through those things with every single ounce of himself. And I feel and feel through all the things with every single ounce of myself. And there are times where we’ve tried to have conversations and just weren’t able to connect on those because we were trying to understand it from our own perspectives and not understand it from the other person’s perspective. We’ve had different conversations where we’ve been able to
15:44
And there have been other times where he’s thought too much or so much about something and I’ve felt so much about something and we just didn’t connect as much. And no matter where you’re at, I mean, if it’s a situation with a friend or a family member or just some random person in the grocery store, you don’t have to hate on those people for not understanding where you’re coming from. If you have a core wound that tells you that you should be against those people, that’s a different story and that’s some processing.
16:14
I really suggest that you go through. But understanding how we feel or think about situations will help us understand how others feel and think about situations. And what can then be done with those situations? If you’re talking to somebody who, again, feels something or feels everything and you really think about all these, if you understand how that person interacts with their relationship with
16:43
just reality and how they feel through things, that then sets you up to be able to ask questions that are truly loving and caring questions, even if they feel a bit foreign to you. So for those of you that are emotional, that’s the same deal for those logical and really hyper thinkers of the world. We can ask each other questions to do our best to be able to love and really listen to understand.
17:13
and understand as best as you can from that perspective of that other person. Because there are similarities. We’re trying to figure this stuff out. Whether we’re thinking about it or we’re feeling through it, we’re trying to figure out the situation and we’re trying to do the best that we can. We can just basically assume that, especially if it’s a loved one or a friend or somebody that you wanna actually have these conversations with. So I challenge you, next time that something happens,
17:43
and you want to tell somebody to either think about it differently or feel it differently, I’d suggest and really challenge you to ask questions. How does that make you feel? What do you think about that? And those are typically really good questions to be able to figure out where did this person sit with this? Because I know if I were to ask my dad how he feels about something, I typically get one word, like fine, or maybe two, it’s whatever.
18:14
and he’ll move along and tell me this is what I think about this. And there’s really not emotion to it. There’s sometimes fire in different ways, but there’s not like a, this really makes me so upset and I feel deep in my, I don’t get that. And that’s fine because that’s how he is. So again, thinking about the thinker that you know, run through that scenario. Wouldn’t they probably say the same thing or something similar?
18:43
So for those who are feeling and you’re the thinker, when you tell somebody, think about it this way or have you thought about it that way, ask them how they’re feeling about it. What do they feel about that situation? Because from my perspective, I can pretty much guarantee that they’re gonna come back to you with, well, whatever it is that they felt, but it’s going to lead into, and here’s what I think about it, because they’re going through the situations
19:12
that they’re trying to figure things out, trying to understand really what this means to them and how it shapes the life if they continue to lead, whether they’re feeling it or thinking about it. But we all kind of have those pieces to us. So again, my challenge is no matter what side you’re primarily on, whether you feel or you think things, understand that somebody that’s similar to you would appreciate you asking questions and
19:40
empathizing and understanding where they’re coming from. And somebody who’s different than you would appreciate the same. Even if they don’t want to have deep conversation about it, like if somebody’s really a thinker, they don’t want to feel through it, I just want to fucking get through this thing. They would still probably appreciate you asking questions to be able to help and not help in a sense of fixing, but to be able to be with them, to be able to listen, to be able to be helpful in the way of just your support. So
20:11
If you feel through life, keep feeling through life. Then maybe try the think-it thing out. If you think through things, think through it. Think through it all. Think through it in detail like you know you’re going to do. But I’d suggest you also try to feel it. And we can learn from each other. And we can try to emulate or try on different things to see how they feel or what we think about them. So if you need help with this or you have any questions or just want to…
20:41
talk about it some more and understand how it not only relates to you and your life and what you can do to be able to live your purpose with this, please reach out. We’d love to be able to help you out or at least point you in a direction of a resource, something we have internally or an outside partner that can help you out with this. I appreciate you being with me today. Thank you so much for your time.
https://youtu.be/ozM_7GAp7g0
View all episodes
By Nick McGowan“I had been afraid to really feel my feelings for a long time because I was told everything short of they were not welcome here and that I shouldn’t have them.”
In this episode, Nick delves into the differences between emotional and logical individuals. Drawing from personal experiences, Nick reflects on how he was encouraged to prioritize logical thinking growing up despite being naturally inclined towards feelings and emotions.
What to listen for:
“When anything happens in the world, when anything happens specifically in your world… you start to think about those things instantly.”
“Understanding how we feel or think about situations will help us understand how others feel and think about situations.”
“We can learn from each other and we can try to emulate or try on different things to see how they feel or what we think about them.”
About Nick McGowan
I’m Nick McGowan, entrepreneur, podcaster, and mental health advocate, and I’ve been on a 20+ year journey of personal development, learning to master my mindset, emotions, and the art of living with purpose.
As a Mindset and Self-Mastery Mentor, I work with ambitious men and women who want to live their most authentic and joyous life, by helping them master their mindset, emotional awareness, and authentic communication. My mission is to empower people to lead lives that feel aligned, grounded, and truly their own.
Throughout my career, I’ve built teams, streamlined systems, and improved client experiences across SaaS, media, marketing, and personal development spaces. Whether I’m leading cross-functional projects, optimizing SEO, Podcasting, designing strategies, or guiding clients through transformation, I bring a hands-on, solution-focused approach to everything I do.
I’m also the host of The Mindset and Self-Mastery Show, where my guests and I unpack the stories that shape us, challenge us, and ultimately guide us back to who we are at our core. On this show, we uncover the secret gems others have discovered through trial, error, and breakthroughs so you can fast-track your growth, and master your mindset on your pursuit toward self-mastery.
With years of podcasting and two decades of marketing experience, I’ve mastered the storytelling, interview flow, strategy, and technical production that elevate a podcast from “just content” to something truly impactful. Whether you’re a leader looking to amplify your message, or a seasoned speaker and podcast host looking to sharpen your edge or even a beginner who is wondering how to share their message, I mentor thought leaders through every step of having the conversation they’re here to have on this planet.
So, what message are you here to share?!
Resources:
Interested in starting your own podcast or need help with one you already have? Send Nick an email or schedule a time to discuss your podcast today!
Thank you for listening!
Please subscribe on iTunes and give us a 5-Star review! https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-mindset-and-self-mastery-show/id1604262089
Watch Clips and highlights: www.youtube.com/channel/UCk1tCM7KTe3hrq_-UAa6GHA
Guest Inquiries right here: [email protected]
Your Friends at “The Mindset & Self-Mastery Show”
Click To View The Episode Transcript
00:00
For those of you that feel through situations, and even if you try to think or you want to think about it, you know that you instantly feel something.
00:10
Understand that what you’re doing in those situations is similar to what the thinker is doing. You’re trying to figure it out.
00:25
Hello and welcome to the Mindset and Self Mastery Show. I’m your host, Nick McGowan, and today on the show, I wanna talk about basically the differences between emotional and logical people. Growing up, I was always told, use your brain, use your brain, use your brain. I was told this by people who are very logical people, and it took me a while to really understand how I am. And yes, I think, and I’m a thinker in a sense. However, I’m a feeler.
00:55
I feel all the things and I feel them immensely and I had been afraid to really feel my feelings for a long time because
01:06
I was told everything short of they were not welcome here and that I shouldn’t have them. And that’s tough. So before I get any further into this episode, I want you to think about and feel into who are you? Now there’s a hybrid. We all have a bit of a hybrid. So if you’re like, ah, I sit right in the middle, like, okay, cool. But realistically, pick a side, which one would you say that you’re more on?
01:36
Are you more of an emotional person where you feel things or are you more of a logical and a thinker where you have to think about things and you really have to use your mind and use your brain to be able to logically figure something out. I think that there’s a feeling to all of this. Like when I’m thinking about something, I can feel it right here. There’s a concentration. There are often times where I’ve caught myself thinking,
02:05
And I could tell I’m like, feral browed and just looking down and just thinking about the thing. I’m not angry. I’m just deep in thought and really trying to dive in. Like I’m trying to burrow in. Now, it might be a little too animated for what you’re used to. It might be less animated than what you’re used to. There’s also the emotional people. Again, like me, I know that I’m primarily emotional.
02:33
and I have to feel the things before I can think about them. And most times, if not every single time, I naturally feel things before I think about them. And that’s probably a great way for you to really figure out which side you’re on as we go through this conversation.
02:56
When something happens, do you start to think and instantly your brain is starting to move on different things and you feel like you’re working on all cylinders with that? Or do you have an immediate reaction that is somatic or at least churning within you? And if you pick one of those sides and you say, look, I’m a thinker, great.
03:27
This isn’t for the end of your life. This is not the whole thing. This is just for this conversation. As you go through and you really think from that perspective, listen to this episode from that perspective. And for those of you that are emotional and you feel things first, then feel through this episode, because I want to talk about both of these. In fact, I want to start with something I’ve recently really thought about is being logically emotional.
03:57
we will get to the logical emotions as we get through this. For those of you that are the thinkers of this, when anything happens in the world, when anything happens specifically in your world, from my understanding, you will start to think about those things instantly, really without you even knowing what’s going on. You’re starting to think through it. There are some people in my life that are that type of people, that they are thinkers first,
04:26
The one that comes to mind that’s just easy to talk about is my dad. My dad on the Enneagram, I believe is innate. He’s never actually gone through quizzes or anything like that. But based on what I know, that man is absolutely innate. And he also has a thinker’s persona. He thinks about things. He really spends time thinking. In fact, sometimes I remember when I was growing up, he’d be sitting at the kitchen table.
04:56
as a little kid, ah when I was a little kid, he’d be sitting at the table and he’d be going through some notes or like writing out some ideas and stuff for his business. And he would spend a lot of time thinking. As much as I know that man to be a worker, like he’s in his mid-60s at this point, and battling through some really difficult things right now, and still out there working and doing hard things and lifting heavy things and just being active.
05:26
I also know of him to be a thinker because he’s thought about those things to then be able to do those things. Like he told me about how he used to work at a nuclear power plant in the control room and all those dials and gauges and things of that sort. And for the most part, I don’t fully get that stuff. ah I can understand a little bit of it, like the ebb and flow, I guess all pun intended, of the different pressures and things of that sort. really, the closest I can come to when I think about it is
05:56
uh wavelength of music and sound. So we’ve had conversation about that. But he always thinks about things and has kind of an engineering mind in that sort of way to be able to think and then act upon those. There have been times where I’ve thought, I guess he didn’t think about how other people felt about these things. Now, yes, it’s kind of a judgment. And that’s me jumping to conclusions of things. Just being straight and being honest with you. I’ve thought that and I felt that before.
06:26
And there have been times where it was clear that he hadn’t because he thought through it and the decision he made was the best decision he felt was the right thing to do or thought was the right thing to do. And he went that direction and just did the damn thing. It’s a different story than somebody who would feel through that most times. So again, I think about my dad as that thinker. Take a moment. Who do you know that is that thinker type? Put a picture to that.
06:57
You know, let’s think about that person and hold them right there and go, that person is a thinker. Now, if you’re the thinker, think of somebody else. Because you want to get yourself out of this equation so that you can look at it from kind of a third party perspective. So thinking from that way and understanding that somebody else, and put a face to that name and the thought of that person that is that thinker, think about how they handle situations. Go ahead.
07:28
Maybe there’s emotion to it sometimes. Most often it’s them just thinking and doing the thing and believing that they made the right decision because they thought about it. They trust themselves. I can respect that. Sometimes it doesn’t always look clear, obvious to us, but there’s a respect there, You know, like, all right, cool. You did what you thought was right. You thought about it. Okay, so there’s a…
07:58
There is the thinker. You’ve got that person in mind. And for the emotional people, again, like me, think about somebody that’s a thinker so that you also have somebody in mind. Maybe it’s your dad. ah If you’re my brother or sister to listen to this, it is absolutely your dad. If it’s somebody else that comes to mind that you think is that way, then understand that. Hold that person right there so we can look through the rest of this. So for those of you that feel through situations,
08:28
And even if you try to think or you want to think about it, you know that you instantly feel something.
08:35
Understand that what you’re doing in those situations is similar to what the thinker is doing You’re trying to figure it out You’re trying to feel it out You are trying to understand. Are you safe? Are you in a spot where you need to make a decision on something is? Your body telling you this is gross and you need to get away is your body telling you that yes, this is everything we want like I think of the
09:01
I think of the yeses that come from deep inside of us. Like the real sacral yes. And this might be stupid. And you might be like, oh, come on, man. But I know we’ve all been in this spot where somebody asks like, hey, do you want Chinese food tonight? And maybe you’re like, meh, cool. Do you want to get tacos? And instantly, there’s that sacral yes that’s like, oh my God, tacos. Please come and get fish tacos or whatever it is. That, that feeling.
09:31
That feeling that’s inside of you, it just hits you. I know for me, if that happens, it hits me, I feel it, and then I start to think about it. It’s almost like it works up my body. Like I feel it in my core. Like, oh yeah, and here’s an idea about it, or here’s a thought, or maybe we go at 4.30, we go to this place, we blah, blah. So feeling through those situations. I want you.
10:01
as the emotional type and the feeler.
10:04
to think about somebody that’s like that. Who do you know? Outside of you, just like I’d said with the thinkers, outside of you, who do know that fits that category?
10:18
You got him? Alright, good. So, we have the thinker in mind, and we have the emotional people in mind.
10:30
Wherever you stand, however you interact with different situations and whether you’re a thinker or you’re an emotional person, and there are some caveats of, again, hybrids and people that are slightly different different ways, but I’m just breaking these two down right now. No matter what happens, when a situation happens to us and we start to feel through it or we start to think through it, we are then working on it the way that we can work on
10:58
The reason why I wanted to have this conversation and to be able to really record this episode is I understand from the emotional perspective that I’ve been told and shamed at times to think about things and not just feel them. And that truly goes against my grain. Just no other way around it. It goes against who I am at my core. And it took me a long time to really be able to
11:27
to settle in on it because honestly it was something I knew I think even from being a little kid. Remember being told use your brain, use your brain, use your brain. was like, I feel upset about this thing and I don’t feel like I can think about it yet because I’m trying to sort through my feelings. Then for us in that spot to be able to be emotional and to have those feelings that come through us.
11:53
We need to be able to listen to those just like those of you who are thinkers need to be able to listen to the thoughts and then be able to make something of it. So I’m sort of being ambiguous with this because without getting into different scenarios that just tie in my side of it, I wanna make sure that we incorporate the thinkers as well. Because again, there are hybrids and I know that I’m a bit of a hybrid at times. I think some of that hybrid comes from traumas.
12:22
and comes from different situations. Like I’ve already said that I know that I’ve been shamed in different ways. I hold no resentment to the people that have shamed me. I don’t believe that they were trying to really break me down. There are people in life that have, but the main people I think of, they weren’t trying to really fuck with me. They were trying from their perspective because they were thinkers.
12:49
Just like if I were to say to somebody, on, feel it. What does your gut say? What is the feeling? What do you want to do with this? What does this feel like for you to do? Somebody who’s a thinker would be like, shut the fuck up. I think this, that, and I think you should shut up or whatever it is. Maybe that’s a little aggressive, but those of you who’ve listened to the show a lot, you get me. When we go through any of these situations and we either feel them or we think about them,
13:18
It’s then on us to be able to do something with them. In a recent episode, I talked about traumas and triggers and our interpretations. We have to account for how we interact and the energy that we have and the way that we just naturally feel through or think through things. And for those of us that are emotional and that we feel through all these things, we have to not shame other people to do it the way that we do it.
13:47
because we gotta understand that other people are other people. And in one of the most beautiful, I guess, laws of the world is everybody is unique, no matter what. There’s a lot of similarities at times, but everybody has their unique fingerprint on their reality and other people’s reality that’s around them. And for those of you who are thinkers, please don’t shame the emotional people. Understand that
14:17
Everybody thinks and feels things differently. And if we can look at this from the perspective, when somebody is talking to us about something that happened to them and they felt this sort of way or they thought about it this way, we can understand as best we can without asking them questions, possibly how they view things. Like if you’ve had many conversations with a friend of yours that is hyper emotional and you’re the real logical type.
14:48
then you can understand from that perspective. Or at least you have the ability to, and you often have the opportunity to. I think there’s a friend that I’m really good friends with. He and I at different times are, I don’t know, almost like oil and water, but we’ve been friends for so long that I consider the guy part of my family. And I can see us being friends for a long, long, long time. He is absolutely more of a thinker.
15:16
polar opposite of me in that sort of way, where he thinks and thinks through those things with every single ounce of himself. And I feel and feel through all the things with every single ounce of myself. And there are times where we’ve tried to have conversations and just weren’t able to connect on those because we were trying to understand it from our own perspectives and not understand it from the other person’s perspective. We’ve had different conversations where we’ve been able to
15:44
And there have been other times where he’s thought too much or so much about something and I’ve felt so much about something and we just didn’t connect as much. And no matter where you’re at, I mean, if it’s a situation with a friend or a family member or just some random person in the grocery store, you don’t have to hate on those people for not understanding where you’re coming from. If you have a core wound that tells you that you should be against those people, that’s a different story and that’s some processing.
16:14
I really suggest that you go through. But understanding how we feel or think about situations will help us understand how others feel and think about situations. And what can then be done with those situations? If you’re talking to somebody who, again, feels something or feels everything and you really think about all these, if you understand how that person interacts with their relationship with
16:43
just reality and how they feel through things, that then sets you up to be able to ask questions that are truly loving and caring questions, even if they feel a bit foreign to you. So for those of you that are emotional, that’s the same deal for those logical and really hyper thinkers of the world. We can ask each other questions to do our best to be able to love and really listen to understand.
17:13
and understand as best as you can from that perspective of that other person. Because there are similarities. We’re trying to figure this stuff out. Whether we’re thinking about it or we’re feeling through it, we’re trying to figure out the situation and we’re trying to do the best that we can. We can just basically assume that, especially if it’s a loved one or a friend or somebody that you wanna actually have these conversations with. So I challenge you, next time that something happens,
17:43
and you want to tell somebody to either think about it differently or feel it differently, I’d suggest and really challenge you to ask questions. How does that make you feel? What do you think about that? And those are typically really good questions to be able to figure out where did this person sit with this? Because I know if I were to ask my dad how he feels about something, I typically get one word, like fine, or maybe two, it’s whatever.
18:14
and he’ll move along and tell me this is what I think about this. And there’s really not emotion to it. There’s sometimes fire in different ways, but there’s not like a, this really makes me so upset and I feel deep in my, I don’t get that. And that’s fine because that’s how he is. So again, thinking about the thinker that you know, run through that scenario. Wouldn’t they probably say the same thing or something similar?
18:43
So for those who are feeling and you’re the thinker, when you tell somebody, think about it this way or have you thought about it that way, ask them how they’re feeling about it. What do they feel about that situation? Because from my perspective, I can pretty much guarantee that they’re gonna come back to you with, well, whatever it is that they felt, but it’s going to lead into, and here’s what I think about it, because they’re going through the situations
19:12
that they’re trying to figure things out, trying to understand really what this means to them and how it shapes the life if they continue to lead, whether they’re feeling it or thinking about it. But we all kind of have those pieces to us. So again, my challenge is no matter what side you’re primarily on, whether you feel or you think things, understand that somebody that’s similar to you would appreciate you asking questions and
19:40
empathizing and understanding where they’re coming from. And somebody who’s different than you would appreciate the same. Even if they don’t want to have deep conversation about it, like if somebody’s really a thinker, they don’t want to feel through it, I just want to fucking get through this thing. They would still probably appreciate you asking questions to be able to help and not help in a sense of fixing, but to be able to be with them, to be able to listen, to be able to be helpful in the way of just your support. So
20:11
If you feel through life, keep feeling through life. Then maybe try the think-it thing out. If you think through things, think through it. Think through it all. Think through it in detail like you know you’re going to do. But I’d suggest you also try to feel it. And we can learn from each other. And we can try to emulate or try on different things to see how they feel or what we think about them. So if you need help with this or you have any questions or just want to…
20:41
talk about it some more and understand how it not only relates to you and your life and what you can do to be able to live your purpose with this, please reach out. We’d love to be able to help you out or at least point you in a direction of a resource, something we have internally or an outside partner that can help you out with this. I appreciate you being with me today. Thank you so much for your time.
https://youtu.be/ozM_7GAp7g0