Ten Minutes with Dad

When it comes to parenting your kids, where do you put your focus? Are you fixated on helping them learn all the right information so they can be “successful” in life (whatever that means)? Are you intent on getting them onto the right team or into the right class or attached to the right group of friends so they can excel in the world? None of these things are inherently bad or wrong, but they might not be the best things for you to focus on. What if you decided to really focus on their heart and cared for them in a way that goes beyond the mechanics of life? What if your care for them led them to a place where they experienced life in a different way and felt a true sense of peace?

This weeks ten minutes provides some great ideas for Personal God Things to Share With Your Child to encourage their spiritual growth.

Many parents communicate that they are at a loss when it comes to answering kids’ tough questions about God. For example, when someone close passes away—a friend or family member—parents scramble to teach their kids about life, death and heaven. More often than not, parents end up avoiding complicated matters altogether!

Instead of waiting until certain topics come up, make a list of subjects you want to talk about and begin addressing them one by one, casually, but through your eyes. How do youknow God is real? Share that with your child! How have you experienced God’s love? Try to express this in a way they can understand; this means talking to your child about what you believe personally.

We’re talking for the next 10 minutes about the difference between discipline and punishment, and how the words are often used interchangeably but are quite different.

To review, punishment seeks to control a person’s behavior by fear or retribution, or by inflicting pain to motivate change. Discipline, however, seeks to tie the unwanted behavior to a natural or logical consequence for that behavior. Discipline does not connect a child’s identity to their choices.

Today's 10 Minutes is focused on handling frustration, anger, and arguments in the home. John 16:33 says, “In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.” Tribulation is great trouble or suffering. Though you will have days as a parent when you will feel like indeed you are experiencing great trouble and suffering resulting from your child’s intense moods, Jesus said “take heart” for He has overcome the world. He has overcome the tension in your home! However, you may have to muddle through those difficult times as you raise your child hand in hand with God!

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This weeks 10 minutes with Dad is focused on helping your child develop good study habits. Paul talked about “studying” in 2 Timothy 2:15, reminding us to “Study to show yourself approved by God, a workman who need not be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth.” Though Paul was speaking about studying God’s Word, there are principles that can be drawn from this truth that can carry forward into all areas of your child’s life.

However, kids don’t tend to love doing homework or studying, and parents often wrestle with crossing that line of helping to motivate their kids and nagging. Consider the following ideas to avoid homework battles and develop good study habits that will carry with them into adulthood.

First, set some reasonable goals. If your child’s attention runs short, set a timer for, say, twenty minutes. After he or she works for the agreed-upon time, allow them to take a break for five minutes before returning to their studies. Set weekly targets, as well. On a day where your child is not stressed or weighted with other distractions, sit down together and talk about reasonable goals they feel they can meet to set them up for success.

Next, brainstorm an appropriate reward system for completing a week of homework. Together you can create a chart to document progress and meaningful rewards that will motivate your child. Does your child enjoy computer time? Perhaps thirty minutes of computer time would be an agreeable reward. Does he or she like to bake with you? If the child’s goals were met, maybe making cookies with mom is the perfect reward. If your child is social, consider hosting a play date the following week. Make sure to follow through with these rewards—or the whole system will fall apart!

You may even teach your child the verse: “All hard work brings a profit, but mere talk leads only to poverty” (Proverbs 14:23). Help them to connect this verse with how hard they have worked—to connect their success with their effort.

I am with you in the journey, and am praying for you and your family. Please don’t hesitate to email me at [email protected] if you have questions or concerns as you are working through this difficult topic.

Visit us at SuitUpMinistries.org 

This week's Ten Minutes with Dad is focused on helping your child develop good study habits. Paul talked about “studying” in 2 Timothy 2:15, reminding us to “Study to show yourself approved by God, a workman who need not be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth.” Though Paul was speaking about studying God’s Word, there are principles that can be drawn from this truth that can carry forward into all areas of your child’s life.

However, kids don’t tend to love doing homework or studying, and parents often wrestle with crossing that line of helping to motivate their kids and nagging. Consider the following ideas to avoid homework battles and develop good study habits that will carry with them into adulthood.

First, set some reasonable goals. If your child’s attention runs short, set a timer for, say, twenty minutes. After he or she works for the agreed-upon time, allow them to take a break for five minutes before returning to their studies. Set weekly targets, as well. On a day where your child is not stressed or weighted with other distractions, sit down together and talk about reasonable goals they feel they can meet to set them up for success.

Next, brainstorm an appropriate reward system for completing a week of homework. Together you can create a chart to document progress and meaningful rewards that will motivate your child. Does your child enjoy computer time? Perhaps thirty minutes of computer time would be an agreeable reward. Does he or she like to bake with you? If the child’s goals were met, maybe making cookies with mom is the perfect reward. If your child is social, consider hosting a play date the following week. Make sure to follow through with these rewards—or the whole system will fall apart!

You may even teach your child the verse: “All hard work brings a profit, but mere talk leads only to poverty” (Proverbs 14:23). Help them to connect this verse with how hard they have worked—to connect their success with their effort.

I am with you in the journey, and am praying for you and your family. Please don’t hesitate to email me [email protected] if you have questions or concerns as you are working through this tough topic. 

Nobody is perfect—you and your kids included. While I know this doesn’t come as a big surprise to you, intellectually, I also know that all too often parents choose to focus on their child’s imperfections instead of tending to their hearts.

Dads,

Hearing is the physical reaction of the brain to sound waves.

Listening, however, requires you to focus and make use of what you’re hearing.

I can’t tell you how often I’ve heard parents say that if their kids would listen to them things would be a lot better for the entire family. Well, guess what? I’m hoping this month’s ten minutes with Dad helps you to make that happen.

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It’s time to address another important parenting issue—the one of having a scream-free or yell-free home. Not only will this make for a more peaceful home, but it will also help to make your children calmer and more confident in who they are.

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Raising our children to pursue a personal relationship with God is something every Christian parent wants, but statistics show that only five percent of teens study the Bible on their own on a daily basis and over half of teens say they read or study their Bible away from church.

I don’t think I need to tell you that these numbers are not very encouraging. But I’m also happy to tell you that YOU can influence your children to be one of the five percent who study their Bible every day. How? By getting creative, that’s how!

For ways to make studying scripture with your kids more fun, check out this weeks podcast.

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