Terra and Lightning's RPG Roundup

"Hatoful Boyfriend – Everybirdie's on Crack." PlayStation 4/PlayStation Vita. 2011. We take a break from RPG's to...date pigeons. Rich, elite pigeons. Sexy, suave pigeons. Crazy, feral pigeons. And...murderous doctor pigeons that want to throw a scalpel at your face. What is it really like to play this cracked out game? We spill all!

"Final Fantasy VI: Part II – Atma Ponders on the Toilet." SNES. 1994. We now bring to you the World of Ruin, where the world has gone to pot and it's up to our adventurers to save it from the evil madman Kefka. The second half of this game shines in its uniqueness – while the first half was linear, now it's all about choose your own adventure. What adventures did we choose? Listen and find out!

“Dragon Age: Inquisition Part One – Drunken Age.” PlayStation 4. 2014. Name inspired by the screwdrivers we had while recording. The Dragon Age universe has gone to hell since we last left you at Dragon Age 2. Among other things, the mages and templars are waging an all-out war, strange green rifts are appearing in the sky, and the Divine Justinia, an important spiritual leader, has been murdered along with countless other people in a mysterious explosion. You are the only one to come out of the explosion alive…and you’re also the only one who can seal the dangerous rifts. Welcome to the Inquisition, Miss Trevelyan!

"Pokémon X-Y—Pokémon Noobs." Nintendo 3DS. 2013. All of you Pokémon veterans: come here for a laugh. We are new to the series, and it’s quite apparent. We not only mispronounce the word in Great Midwestern Fashion, but call TM’s “HM’s” and even sneak in a reference to FFX-2. For anyone new to Pokémon…welcome to X and Y! You start out as an ambitious young Pokémon trainer with clingy friends in the French-inspired Kalos region. Of course, things aren’t that simple – you are very intent on becoming the Champion, and as a little side thing this red-haired guy named Lysandre is out to destroy the world. Oh noes!

"Final Fantasy VI: Welcome to Our BBQ!" SNES. 1993. We at last get to our first installment covering arguably one of the best RPGs at all time. We also deviate from our format a little, preferring a more detailed account rather than our usual overview while discussing the World of Balance. Either way, we both love FF6 and are looking forward to finishing the second half of the game!

"Castlevania: Symphony of the Night – Creature of Chaos." PlayStation. 1997. Like platformers and RPGs? Also like eating old, old pizza? Then join us for a discussion of Castlevania: Symphony of the Night, one of the most beloved and lauded games in the Castlevania series. In this installment, Alucard, the oh-so-cleverly-named son of Dracula, must search for the missing vampire hunter Richter Belmont and defeat his scheming dad, all while exploring the very appropriately-named "creature of chaos" (AKA Dracula’s castle).

"Star Ocean: Second Evolution – Fourscore and Seven Hundred Million Years Ago…" PSP. 2008.

It’s been one year since we started our first show with Star Ocean: First Departure! Ironically, we are celebrating this major milestone by discussing its sequel, also a PSP port and remake. In this installment, we dive into the problems of planet Expel, which is dealing with the disastrous arrival of an extraterrestrial device called the Sorcery Globe. Tsunamis, earthquakes, rabid beasts…you name it, it’s there – and it’s up to an Earth boy named Claude and a mysterious girl named Rena to sort it all out. We also do a light review on FFXIV’s PS4 version and how well it integrates with the PS4 hardware and accessories.

"Secret of Mana: Help, I’ve Fallen and I Can’t Get Up!" SNES. 1993.

A lot of us played this game when we were kids. A lot of us also didn’t – but despite being 20 years old, Secret of Mana still holds up well as a solid title in the retro gaming scene. Is multiplayer really that good? What about some of the insane grinding that you must do in order to level up your weapons and magic? And why does Lightning slip in and out of this extremely awful British accent at times? All of this awaits you and more!

"Wild Arms: For a Few Gella More." PlayStation. 1996.

Early 32 bit polygonal hell awaits you if you take on the first installment of this long-running Sony staple, which is replete with deserts, twangy music, and mysterious weapons called ARMs. What’s with the medieval Wild West mash-up? WHY did nobody question the abrupt disappearance of one of the two major kingdoms in the world? And why oh why did the game developers treat us to the same two monsters in every dungeon? All of this will be answered...or at least discussed. Disclaimer: inconsistent sound quality throughout the episode, which made editing the stuff of nightmares (and why we recorded two weeks ago but are only posting this now). Try not to turn the volume up or your ears might bleed.

"Soul Nomad and the World Eaters – Hotpod Hoedown." PlayStation 2. 2007.

For the past few hundred years, the world has gone to hell in a handbasket. Wars rage on, sickness and disease spread, and large, mysterious creatures called World Eaters threaten to ravage the land. And now it’s up to YOU, Revya, with a mysterious sword and a wise-cracking, foul-mouthed being named Gig trapped inside your body, to take out the World Eaters and bring peace to the land. Developed by the same folks as Disgaea and La Pucelle Tactics, we find that this game is more off the beaten path than other NIS titles, with a squad system reminiscent of Ogre Battle and a heavy focus on pre-battle tactical decisions. Variety is the spice of life, however, and we explain why we enjoyed this little diversion from the Item World before we move on to Disgaea D2.