Welcome to the debut of Chron Con. Today, we’re wondering if a contagious rink rat is enough to debunk terrain theory and why homeschooling is the only way to prevent your kids from becoming 'wrinkly babies.' We’re dissecting how a digital diet of boobs, butts, and farts leads to spiritual depression. Plus, I’ll share how to reclaim your youth and why I am undeniably the sexiest ice skater in my town.

Whether you're here to reclaim your sanity or you just want to watch the world burn from a better vantage point, let’s diagnose the issues. 

For more Chron Con, including tips on how to seek salvation in an insane world: https://chroncon.com/. And if you like futuristic and fun fantasy, check out my newly created Substack: https://chroncon.substack.com/.