Kelly is no longer communicating with written language.

Tom Wopat is in trouble up to his wrist.

Leigh Anne will take the pennies off a corpse's eyes.

The ACLU has written the amicus brief to end all amicus briefs.

America's in the shitter, you guys. 

Stick around for the stinger: the worst soda ever. What's in the shotglass, b*tch?