As I write this, I have a mouthful of blood. When I swallow or spit it out, more floods forth, like my jaw is the elevator from The Shining. It’s been like this for 15 minutes.

With Halloween just days away, it’s tempting to say that my wound is the result of something scary or sinister, like fighting off a horde of zombies, or gnawing through zip ties to escape my insane captor. But it isn’t.

What it is, is the latest in a long series of self-inflicted injuries resulting from shocking carelessness, horrendous judgment, and bone-chilling bad luck.

So, in this season of spooky stories, let’s take a tour through just a few of these macabre misadventures.

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