Tess Lavanda

I went clubbing last weekend, and it was a Halloweekend from hell...pun intended.

I've always tried to enjoy going out, partying, drinking, and "having fun." I've always thought that's what I'm "supposed" to enjoy.

But this weekend was the last straw.

I've had enough.

I'm never going clubbing again.

(DJ's please start taking song requests, and I might come back. )

Socials!

email - [email protected]

instagram - https://www.instagram.com/tess.lavanda/

tiktok - https://www.tiktok.com/@tesslavanda

pinterest - https://nz.pinterest.com/tesslavanda/

when you're the "breaker-upper" it can feel like you're the bad guy. like you didn't try hard enough, like you're giving up.

but that's not true.

it takes a certain amount of strength to realise that both parties deserve more.

sometimes loving someone, means letting them go.

socials!

email - [email protected]

instagram - https://www.instagram.com/tess.lavanda/

tiktok - https://www.tiktok.com/@tesslavanda

pinterest - https://nz.pinterest.com/tesslavanda/

I love you

i'm sick of pretending like i have a good relationship with my boy image.

the truth is I don't.

but today i'm holing myself accountable in hopes to move past this lifestyle.

socials!

email - [email protected]

instagram - https://www.instagram.com/tess.lavanda/

tiktok - https://www.tiktok.com/@tesslavanda

pinterest - https://nz.pinterest.com/tesslavanda/

I love you

sometimes, people come into our lives who make us feel wonderful, and then they disappear.

and we feel like we need to chase that person to protect that feeling.

but what if you stopped chasing the person...and started chasing the feeling?

socials!

email - [email protected]

instagram - https://www.instagram.com/tess.lavanda/

tiktok - https://www.tiktok.com/@tesslavanda

pinterest - https://nz.pinterest.com/tesslavanda/

I love you

I've managed to go through most of my life without acknowledging difficult emotions, but after bottling them all up, I think I'm finally starting to notice the negative impact that's having on my life...

I don't want to keep scaring the surface with my emotions anymore; I want to feel and cry and be able to watch Atonement without wanting to jump off a bridge.

so here we are....

socials!

email - [email protected]

instagram - https://www.instagram.com/tess.lavanda/

tiktok - https://www.tiktok.com/@tesslavanda

pinterest - https://nz.pinterest.com/tesslavanda/

I love you

sometimes i worry that it's too late for me to have a best friend.

i feel like primary school was my opening to scoop up as many friends as i could, however most of my primary school time was spent crying in the corner.

so moving forward, is it possible to make new friends in your 20's?

i love you

socials!

email - [email protected]

instagram - https://www.instagram.com/tess.lavanda/

tiktok - https://www.tiktok.com/@tesslavanda

pinterest - https://nz.pinterest.com/tesslavanda/

i have a very strange relationship with rest.

i often think that if i take time to relax, I'll fall behind and never achieve anything. but what if I'm wrong? what if the best way to move forward is by... resting?

socials!

email - [email protected]

instagram - https://www.instagram.com/tess.lavanda/

tiktok - https://www.tiktok.com/@tesslavanda

pinterest - https://nz.pinterest.com/tesslavanda/

unrequited love...an absolute mess.

maybe we love people more when they don’t love us back. 

maybe we think so lowly of ourselves that when someone doesn’t love us, it makes us feel loved. 

to be loved is to be seen and you feel like this person sees you because it’s how you see yourself. 

unwanted, unloved, undeserving. 

we accept the love we THINK we deserve. 

i love you

socials!

email - [email protected]

instagram - https://www.instagram.com/tess.lavanda/

tiktok - https://www.tiktok.com/@tesslavanda

pinterest - https://nz.pinterest.com/tesslavanda/

I've always felt like I've needed to be more sociable. that having lots of friends would make me happier. but in reailty, i think I'm happiest when I'm on my own...

i love you

socials!

email - [email protected]

instagram - https://www.instagram.com/tess.lavanda/

tiktok - https://www.tiktok.com/@tesslavanda

pinterest - https://nz.pinterest.com/tesslavanda/

the power of trust.

last night i was crying loudly in bed, feeling completley overwhelemed by everything.

my mum heard me crying from her room, so she came in my room and lay with me.

she gave me some words of wisdom, that i'll be sharing with you today.

i love you mum.

i love you stranger x

socials!

email - [email protected]

instagram - https://www.instagram.com/tess.lavanda/

tiktok - https://www.tiktok.com/@tesslavanda

pinterest - https://nz.pinterest.com/tesslavanda/