Everything you know about Thanksgiving is a lie. The pilgrims were culty freaks, the food is fake, and the only thing that actually happened was a three-day booze-fueled frontier rave that nearly turned into a war.

This episode goes deep into the dumbest holiday America ever made up. Stuffed with murder, venison, rainbow turkeys, and a Civil War PR campaign that somehow gave us cranberry sauce in a can.
It’s unhinged. It’s hilarious. It’s historically inaccurate and offensive.

Segment 1:The Pilgrims Were Religious Freaks in Buckled Hats (And They Definitely Jerked Off on the Mayflower)

Segment 2:The First Thanksgiving Was a Three-Day Gun-Drunk Feast That Almost Sparked a War

Segment 3:From Feast to Fuckery: Massacres, Decapitations, and the Head on a Stick Welcome Sign

Segment 4:Turkey Is a Lie, Stuffing Is a Bread Enema, and Cranberry Sauce Is a Red Cylinder of Shame

Segment 5:The Holiday Was Invented by a Sad Widow and a President Who Gave Up During the Civil War

Segment 6:Why We Still Celebrate It (Even If It’s Built on Murder, Lies, and Marshmallow Vegetables)

🦃 Share this episode with your dumb cousin who still thinks pilgrims invented corn.
🎧 Listen on Spotify, Apple, or wherever you get your fake history.
💨 Join the Sub Club on Spotify or at MikeyPodcast.com to support independent media—because NPR sure as hell ain’t gonna tell you the pilgrims were licking frogs and shooting guns.

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