1546 That’s A Problem

Jesus says we will be known by our love, and our love is to make him known. So, every day, we show up and we try to love. Darn, we try. Y’all know, some people are easier to love than others. Some just test the Jesus in you. I bet you can think of a very specific person that is really hard to love. Someone you work with, someone you live with, someone you share a circle with. Whew, Jesus wants you to love them, but it’s stretching you to your limits.

Who is it that is most hard for you to love?

Oh, I know exactly who it is. Let me hit the nail on the head and give you your ah-ha moment early. It’s someone you live with. It’s someone you work with. And it’s someone in every one of your circles. It’s YOU. You are most hard for you to love. You have become self-critical and judgmental of yourself. And of course you have, because you spend a whole lot of time with you.

I’m a fan of long distance relationships. Our time together is short and sweet. It is savored and precious, then you go home. I don’t have to deal with your quirky self on the daily, and let me tell you, girl, you are quirky! You’ve got some weird things you do. Some of y’all label crap and alphabetize it. Some of y’all can’t sit and keep your hands still. Some of y’all eat popcorn really loud. And some of y’all come up with the craziest cock-a-mamey ideas that no one understands (oh wait, that’s me.) It’s cute for a short amount of time, but then we need some space.

And that’s the problem, wherever you go, THERE YOU ARE! You can’t get space from you! You intimately know your struggles. You have to put up with your own darn quirkiness 24/7. You had a front row seat to every one of your failures. You don’t even like the sound of your own voice. And let’s not talk about looking in the mirror or seeing yourself in photos. Oh mercy. It’s a real issue.

Do you have a hard time loving you?

Let’s make this real clear … this is a problem. And it’s a problem for Jesus!

You will be known by your love and your love is to make him known, but you refuse to fully love the one person you can simply never get away from … YOU!

I promise you this, you hating you is not an honorable representation of your Creator. You may cover it up as humility, but at its core, it’s hateful. You’re hateful to you. And you being hateful to you doesn’t make a single soul say, “Wow, I just gotta know what that girl is doing! I gotta know about the one who helps her hate herself so well. I just gotta know where she gets this deep critical spirit for herself from, because I really want some of that too.” Nobody ever says that.

Do you want to know why loving others exhausts you so much sometimes? Because you show up already worn out from the battle you’re fighting with yourself. Before you ever greet your family in the morning, you’ve already beat yourself up for how your body is aging, how your energy is never enough, and how you’ve secretly failed yourself. And maybe you put on a good show so no one else sees it, but you hear it. That little voice in your head just never stops.

It’s why we struggle with relationships. We’re looking for someone to fill that empty hole within us, but no matter how much they pour into us, it’s never enough because, girl, you keep poking at the hole. God wants to heal that hole in you. He wants to help you calm the voices. He wants to help you love yourself so you can show up in this world in a way that glorifies your Creator.

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